Chapter 5
"Holy cow pies, a girl just came out of that bottle!" Duo stage whispered, in the hopes that the mysterious girl would not hear him.
But genies have remarkably good hearing, and she smiled at his outburst.
This was one of the most fun parts of being a genie.
Now for the next one.
"Master," she began, raising her eyes to meet his. If she understood that her master's expression was one of befuddlement and shock, she did not show it.
"I thank thee from the deepest place in my heart for freeing me from the bottle, which is my home, but has of late become my prison. I cannot tell thee how long it has been since I have smelled flowers, felt the breeze on my skin, laid eyes on a human. This is a gift, O magnanimous one, that can never be repaid. However, I am duty bound to attempt compensation, and do so by giving thee my life in service – anything that thine heart desires will be thine… except of course the position of queen of the world… thou must send away for that."
Heero heard only snippets of her long bit of blather, for he already understood his position as her master and his brain was busy figuring out just what that meant for him and his job.
She certainly wouldn't fit in around the mail room. All that baggy bright pink clothing might send his coworkers into fits of hysteria.
Yes, a challenge to the dress code would definitely call for his elimination.
Besides, he knew how girls were. They required attention 82.537% of the week, and that would cut into his missions, er, deliveries.
Well, that was that. He couldn't be her master.
Dinner date, anytime. But master, no.
Heero then shuddered at the thought of actually going on a date with an actual woman. He did not know why, but there was something terrifying about the prospect.
"I'm not your master."
The genie looked confused and glanced at the assembled company. They pointed at Heero and she smiled.
"I believe that thou art mistaken, Master. I am your humble genie."
"No."
"Pardon me?"
"I am not your master," he said firmly. There was no point in acknowledging that he was, because then he would have to take the time to explain why he didn't want to be her master. Girls always needed explanations. And for some reason, they really hated being rejected.
"Very well," she huffed. "Will someone please tell me who it was that caused my bottle to be unsealed?"
Heero pointed at Duo. The genie girl looked him over, but she didn't find him nearly as handsome as the other one, her should-be, would-be master.
Duo pointed to himself with a questioning expression.
"Me? Nope, wasn't me. You threw the bottle, buddy."
The genie then understood why her house had been turned upside down and rolled around roly-poly like. Thank God she had capped her nail polish.
"But it was you who was acting like a donkey's rear and necessitated my throwing the bottle," Heero said, wishing upon his 98% spandex shorts that Duo would just take the darn genie.
"That's the lamest logic – no, it doesn't even deserve to be called logic," Hilde said.
Heero twitched. Illogical? The girl had indirectly implied that he was ILLOGICAL. Such a statement showed her hypocrisy, because it was clearly illogical itself.
'I'm very logical,' Heero told himself.
But himself wasn't buying it.
'Stop being a moron and get the girl! Be her master, woo her, and kiss her smack on the lips under a sky of romantic neon green!' the sometimes far too audible inner voice instructed him.
"No," Heero said aloud.
"Fine, your logic is intact – you're lame," Hilde, having somehow not heard the impossibly loud inner voice, said.
Duo gazed at her with the utmost respect.
'Big words… wow, I wanna kiss her!' he thought, but the words that came out sounded a little less stupid.
"You're gorgeous when you talk all smart," he said, inching to her side.
"Really?" she blushed and let him take her hand.
Genie Girl cleared her throat.
"I am sorry for interrupting, but this matter requires hasty resolving."
"Right," Hilde said. "We can't just leave her there masterless."
"We can't?" Heero muttered.
"No – that would leave me in a state of purposeless limbo, continually searching for a master, when no one is my rightful, destined master but thee, er, whoever it was that opened my bottle," she said pitiably.
Heero started to muse on how much that sounded like his present state of life, but before the hot-angsty-boy vibes could distress the genie further, he had an epiphany.
"You said your rightful, destined master is the one who opened your bottle?" he asked.
"Yes; that individual has been preordained by fate to be my lord or lady, to use me to grant them the deepest, purest desires of their hearts – and even some of the not so pure… But alas, it is my destiny to obey them; I am a servant to the people. Be they rich or poor, famous or invisible, intelligent or challenged, even a spoiled, under aged dye-job with megalomaniacal aspirations – whoever opens this bottle," she said, extending her arm to indicate the vision of kitsch that lay in the grass near her feet, "I mu-"
"Then I know who your master is," Heero interrupted.
"Thou dost? Who is it?"
Heero pointed to somewhere beyond her right shoulder. She twirled around, but saw only a very toothy dragon equivalent of a "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Heero?"
"Oh. N-n-n-no. Absolutely impossible. No."
"So, let's go to Emerald City," Heero said and turned to mount Wing Zero.
"Is that possible?" Hilde asked Duo.
"Beats me. Hey, Deathscythe! Looks like you got yourself a girlfriend after all!"
"WHAT?" Genie Girl exclaimed.
"Kiddin', Bottle Girl. Look – maybe Heero's right for once since I met him. Maybe you are mine. I mean, D-Scythe's mine, so I guess by default you're mine, too."
Genie Girl stared without blinking.
"Um, guys," Hilde said. "I don't know why no one suggested it before, but from what I've heard, a master can free a genie from a lifetime of servitude simply by wishing it."
"Well, for that to happen, Miss Genie would have to decide on a master – one that can actually make wishes," Duo pointed out.
"Yes, that is correct! Your dragon cannot be my master because he cannot make wishes!"
"Hey," Duo said with a quivery lip. "Are you saying dragons don't have dreams, the way people do? Are you saying… Deathscythe doesn't matter?"
"I – I, no, I was simply agreeing with that which, uh, thou was just saying, I-"
"Ha ha, just messin' with ya!" Duo said. Hilde smacked him upside the head with her rolled up apron.
"Be nice to the genie, Duo."
"Fine, okay, fine," he said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Please pardon me for saying so," Genie Girl began, "but thou would be better off not scratching thine-"
"Don't go there," Heero interrupted. Genie Girl retorted,
"Pardon me, Ex-Would-Be-Master, but thou cannot have wishes granted of me," she said too politely. "Thou art not my master. Thou saidest so thyself."
Heero paused.
"You're right. I did."
And he went back to adjusting Wing's saddle, leaving the genie to deal with it.
"Okaaay," Hilde said, "Raise your hand if you like the genie."
She raised her hand, and Duo did, too – well, halfwayish. Deathscythe raised a foreleg (the previously whacked one feeling much better by this time). Wing did not, but flicked his tail around to nudge up Heero's arm.
"Quit moving!" Heero commanded. "I still need to fasten another strap."
"I think you're in the minority, Heero," Hilde said.
"What's your point?" he said gruffly.
"Try to be a little less of a jerkwad to our guest."
"She's not our guest. We just happened to meet in these flowers."
"Okay… well, I'm going to invite her to join us, so if you'll excuse me…"
"That is not a good idea."
"Oh? And why not? Because with her mystical powers we could get out of this jam? No, wouldn't want to do that!"
"No. I can do it on my own."
"Ugh, a little too proud, aren't we? Man, does he ever need a good woman."
"I'd recommend that," Duo said.
"Although, I still have no idea what we're doing…" Hilde muttered to Duo as she walked past him. Duo whistled innocently.
"Anyway," she said, "Hi. I'm Hilde Schbeiker. This here is Duo…"
"Maxwell. Duo Maxwell, at your service. He runs, he hides, but he never tries talking to Heero when he's having a hissy fit." Genie Girl wondered what kind of hissy fit one so serious at her would-be-should-be master would throw, if at all, because other than being exasperating he was absolutely wonderful and perfect. She curtseyed politely.
"Maxwell… I like your name, Duo," Hilde said.
"Wanna share?"
She giggled and he blushed.
Oops. That had been out loud. He hadn't meant to propose marriage until the next day. If his uncle had taught him anything about women (and no, he hadn't yet taught him much in that area), it was that a boy shouldn't risk appearing too fresh.
But it was hard not to say what was on one's mind when one was in the presence of the first non-witchy girl one had met in like, forever. And he had definitely been wondering what it would be like to be married to her. Well, married or necking at the drive-in. Same diff.
"Um, yes, well, anyway," Hilde said, breaking her gaze from Duo, "that over there is Heero. I don't know his last name. He probably won't even tell you if you ask. As you have seen, he's a total-"
I must learn his name, Genie Girl thought.
"Heero?" she said, trying out the name. How sweet it sounded! How easily it rolled off her tongue! How fantastic it would be to one day call him "Heero darling…"
But that would have to wait.
Especially since he appeared to be ignoring her.
"Um…"
Duo crossed the space between himself and the spandex clad lad, flattening a few giant flowers as he tromped through them, and picked up Heero's bag.
"Give me that!" Heero demanded.
"Uh unh! You snooze, you lose; you flake, I take!" Duo said, rifling thru the green backpack.
"I don't have flakes, you hypocrite," Heero said and lunged for his belongings.
"Ooh, what is this? It's ID! Could it be yours?" Duo said, waving it just out of Heero's reach. It was too hard to read it with Mr. I-Probably-Have-A-REALLY-Embarrassing-Middle-Name in his way everywhere he turned, so he tossed it to Hilde.
"Catch, babe!"
Heero grunted.
Genie Girl looked questioningly at Hilde, who interpreted her gaze as a "What on Earth?" type look.
"They've been like this since I met them. A few hours ago."
"But what does it say?" Duo and Genie Girl said, a moment before Heero pressed Duo's face to the earth with his knee.
"Heero Yuy."
While Genie Girl looked dreamily off in space and mouthed something over and over to herself, Heero was doing his darndest to suppress Duo's bubbling laughter. When Duo didn't cease, Heero got bored and released him.
"Fine. Fine!" he said. "Just tell us what it means in OZian and get it over with."
"Huh?" Duo said, brushing dirt off his jodhpurs. "Oh, it doesn't mean anything in OZian, but it does rhyme with pew-ee!"
Hilde groaned and Genie Girl stared daggers at the braided kid.
Dear Lords of Heaven, I pray that my master will wish me to force feed that person large doses of Prozac!
Heero was suddenly inspired.
"How many wishes will you grant me if I become your master?"
"Oh, an indefinite amount for as long as thou livest, Heero-Future-Master."
Heero glanced menacingly at Duo.
"No! Don't hurt him!" Hilde yelled and threw her arms around her immature but endearing love interest. Duo squeezed her like an orange, and not really because she was hot and not really because he loved her for her personality, but mostly because Heero was pretty damn scary.
"No," Heero sighed, and not really because it was the right thing to do and not really because he felt some compassion type emotion thingy, but mostly because that genie girl was pretty damn scary.
Deathscythe offered a wing to Wing, who promptly snorted amusedly and set a bloom ablaze.
So he chomped the bloom.
It tasted pretty good.
"Well, now that we're past the threaten Duo with death or worse stage, I think we have a mission to attend to," Duo said with vigor.
"Yes," Heero said, pleasantly surprised that Duo was for once thinking logically, "we should depart immediately."
"I could blink thee to thine destination in the bl- er, really fast," Genie Girl said.
The offer was tempting, but Heero was determined and would not waver.
"No thanks," he said coldly.
"B-but, 'tis the most logical way to fly…"
Heero twitched again. What was up with these women? Questioning his incredibly logical thought process! Annoying.
But then he was inspired once more.
Genie girl could help him with his troublesome boss… but not until he knew more about her powers and their consequences.
"We'll go by dragon. You can ride in your bottle."
Genie girl beamed as a tear streaked down her cheek. She thanked the Lords of Heaven that she was not going to be abandoned, and wondered if Heero would admit to being her master by sundown, or if it would take until sunrise.
Heero wondered if Duo would buy another threat of magical blasting.
"Oh, we never asked your name," Hilde said from where she and Duo were adjusting Deathscythe's shiny, studded saddle.
The genie gave her name, but it was multi-syllabled and rather hard to pronounce (and when she tried to spell it in their language, they found the orthography ridiculous), so the group settled for 'Relena'.
Duo clapped Relena on the shoulder.
"Oh, and jinx, babe. You owe me an Emerald Mist."
***
Current Moral of the Story: Don't kick perverted colonels, even when they're down, even when they've been total jerks and tried to steal your medallion.
Submit morals? ^_^
Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I have not extensively edited past chapters, but I take all that you say into account for future chapters. Thanks for R&Rin'! It's totally appreciated!
And yes, more Gundam pilots will appear. I know what Quatre's role will be, not sure of the others. I think Treize, Lady Une and probably Zechs will have a reason to show up. And Wufei and Trowa need to join the group, too; I just need to let the story take us there.
As for romance, the level and intensity will increase as the journey continues. ^_^ I won't end the story without some official relationships, so fear not! And it shouldn't take until the end for all of them to develop to that point (I say all because I love Wufei and Sally – their dynamics are great, so I think that if I can work them in, it'd be fun).
But no more spoilers for now!!!
Hang in there for the next chapter – I have actually started it!
~Maeko*