Vicil2000 Presents
AN E-STUDiOS PRODUCTION
Kaji Bashing: He's not THAT great
Scene 010: Kaji's first job
[Kaji is at the service counter of a new Wendy's outlet.]
Kaji: Welcome to Wendy's. How may I help you?
Ritsuko: I'd like the Bacon & Swiss.
Kaji: Would you like the combo with fries and your choice of beverage for the low, low price of only an extra 100 yen.
Ritsuko: Fine.
Kaji: What kind of beverage?
Ritsuko: Root beer.
Kaji: I'm afraid we don't have root beer.
Ritsuko: Coke then.
Kaji: That'll be 395.
[Ritsuko gives him four 100's.]
Ritsuko: Keep the change.
[Kaji pops the register, drops the coins in the drawer and places a 5 piece in the "Take one / leave one" plastic cup next to his register.]
[Kaji sets a tray in front of Ritsuko and turns to get her fries and Coke.]
[TICK TICK TICK]
[Kaji sets the fries and Coke on Ritsuko's tray.]
Kaji: …
Ritsuko: …
Kaji: …
Ritsuko: …
Fry cook: BS!
[Kaji turns to get the Bacon and Swiss.]
[TICK TICK TICK]
[Kaji breezes past an employee mopping the floors.]
Kaji: Here's your burger- WUP!
[Kaji slips on the floor]
[The burger flies up and lands in the grease trap. Hot grease splashes into the fry cooks eyes.]
Fry cook: GAHHHH!!!
Kaji: Oops.
Ritsuko: Whoa!
[Kaji gets up and goes to the grease trap.]
Kaji: 'Scuse me. AHHHHHHH!!!
[Kaji reaches into the grease trap with his bear hand and pulls out the burger.]
Ritsuko: Whoa.
Kaji: Don't worry, I got it ma'am.
[The burger slips out of Kaji's hand and falls back into the grease trap.]
Kaji: Damn it. AHHHHH!!!
[TICK TICK TICK]
[Kaji returns to the counter.]
Kaji: Slippery little bugger. Here's your burger ma'am.
[Kaji holds the burger out to Ritsuko. His hand and the burger have now been boiled into one lump of crispy, brown film.]
Ritsuko: Thanks.
[Ritsuko takes the burger in Kaji's hand, but when she touches it, Kaji's hand breaks off and lands on her tray.]
[The exposed stump sprays blood all over Ritsuko's face.]
Ritsuko: GAHHH!
Kaji: Wow!
Restaurant: Whoa!!!
Kid: Somebody call 911!
Kaji: Hold on. AHHHHH!!!
[Kaji plunges the stump into the grease trap. He pulls it out to reveal a brown crust over the wound.]
Kaji: It's okay! I stopped the bleeding.
Potted plant: Wow!
[Everyone looks at the potted plant that just exclaimed awe at Kaji's performance.]
[A JSSDF Special Agent steps out from behind the plant.]
Restaurant: Oh.
Agent: Son, that was the best display of quick thinking and ingenuity I've ever witnessed. I think you have the potential to earn a place in Japanese special-forces.
Kaji: Whoa!
Ritsuko: What?
Agent: What's your name boy?
Kaji: Ruoji Kaji.
Agent: Come with me Kaji, my van is right outside.
Kaji: Wait.
Agent: What?
Kaji: I want to sue the restaurant.
Manager: WHAT?!
Restaurant: Whoa!
Agent: I like your style kid. I'll have the bureau's layer handle the case.
Manager: NO!!!
Agent: Come on, kid. You know, I think we can help you with that hand.
[Kaji and the Agent exit Wendy's.]
Restaurant: …
Ritsuko: And I want a refund! There's blood all over my lunch!
Manager: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- gurk!
[The manager collapses from a stroke.]
Restaurant: … Whoa.