Save Me from Myself
Disclaimer: Okay, you know the deal by now. I only own the plot, and everything else belongs to the outstanding JK Rowling.
Opening Comments: Okay everyone. Here's the next chapter. I'll bet you're excited after the cliffy on the last one. Couldn't help myself. Anyways. Thanks so much to all my reviewers. Keep your reviews coming! They mean a lot. Well, here it is.
Chapter Five: The Secret and the Nightmare
"Well, the thing is, Hermione. I-the thing is…"
"What is it, Draco?"
"I really don't know how to tell you this. Please, just don't slap me or anything."
"Will you just bloody spit it out already? I promise not to slap you. Okay?" Hermione was getting impatient.
"All right!" He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Hermione, I love you."
"Y-you what?" Hermione stammered.
"I love you."
"No. No you don't. Is this some sick joke, Malfoy? That is not funny. I don't care who dared you to say-." She was cut off and pulled back on the couch from which she had been rising, along with her temper.
"Stop. Just bloody stop. This is no joke. I thought I was going insane. Listen to me, this isn't a joke, and I'm not so heartless that I would pull a joke like that on anyone. I love you, Hermione. I don't know how it happened, and I don't know why, but it is true. I love you!"
"No you don't. You can't."
"And why exactly can't I?"
"Because no one loves me," she said, barely above a whisper, her eyes on the couch.
"Bloody Merlin. What has happened to you?" he whispered, lifting her chin so she would look him in the eyes.
"Draco, no one loves me, least of all you."
Instead of relying, Draco pulled her to him. He kissed her gently on the lips and sat back.
"Does that tell you anything?" he asked looking into her deep chestnut eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, Draco. I really am."
"What are you apologizing for?"
She rose off the couch. "Because, you fell for the wrong person. You don't want to love me." Before he could pull her back onto the couch, Hermione ran up the stairs and slammed her door shut, the tears streaming out of her eyes and onto the floor.
Hermione threw herself onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow. Why did he bloody do that? Why did he say that? Why did he kiss me? No one wants me. No one loves me. As if my life wasn't bad enough without him interfering. I can't take this anymore.
She shot off her bed and went in search of her knife. It wasn't where it usually was. He must have it. I need it. But how can I face him? And I doubt he will even give it back to me. But I have to try. She walked back down the stairs quietly.
Draco was sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands. He looked up when he heard her approaching.
"Where is it Draco?" she asked, trying to keep the anger from her voice.
"Where is what?"
"You know very bloody well what I mean."
"Oh that. You can't have it."
"Where is it?"
"I gave it to Snape."
"You WHAT?"
"I wasn't about to let you do that to yourself again."
She slammed her body down into an armchair. "You had better get that back," she said through clenched teeth.
Draco stood up forcefully and strode over to her. "Why? So you can actually kill yourself? No way."
"Why do you even care?"
"I thought I had established that already."
"But why? We've always been enemies. What changed your mind? And about me at that?"
"If I had those answers, I would gladly give them to you. But you know, sometimes, love isn't explainable, and sometimes, love comes from those who we thought we hated. Hermione, look at me." Her head was bowed. When he said to look at him, she buried her head in her hands.
"No," he practically shouted. "You are not shutting me out. I won't let you. Now, look at me!"
Hermione slowly raised her head and looked into the eyes of her once enemy. She looked, for the first time, directly into those icy gray-blue orbs. She saw concern, anger, frustration, and love in those eyes. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She felt like he was looking into her soul. When this came to her, she tore her eyes away. He couldn't let her see.
It tore at Draco's heart to look into Hermione's beautiful chestnut eyes. There was so much pain there, carefully hidden by a cool indifference. There was fear and sorrow, and something else that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He wanted to hold her in his arms and run his fingers through her gorgeous hair. He wanted her to tell him what was going on: why she kept having those dreams and why she was afraid for anyone to love her.
He saw the confusion and the inner battle going on through her eyes. She suddenly tore her eyes away from his and looked at her hands as though they were the most interesting things she had ever laid her striking eyes on. He didn't lift her chin again. He couldn't bear to see her cry. It would kill him.
Draco had never felt love before. Sure, his mother had given him love when she could, but it wasn't the same. He only wished, and Merlin how he wish it, that Hermione reciprocated his feelings.
"Hermione," he said softly, "I really wish you would tell me what has been going on. I really care about you. Please, tell me." His voice was almost pleading, and he felt as though he was going to cry and never stop. This was big because Malfoys never cry.
"I can't Draco. You say that you love me, and maybe you really do, I don't know. But if I tell you, then you will stop loving me, if you really do that is, and then you would know. I can't let that happen. Too many people know already."
"Hermione, I love you. I can't imagine this feeling going away, and I don't want to. I care so much about you. I just want to know what is making you hurt so much. I can't stand to see you like this."
Hermione looked at him. "I-I really can't. I'm sorry. I really am. You don't understand."
"Maybe I would if you would tell me."
"Look, I want to believe that you love me. And I want to believe that you care enough to hear about…about…everything. But, I have learned, the hard way, that I just can't trust hardly anyone."
"What do I have to do to prove to you that I love you, and that I understand?"
"I don't know," she sighed heavily.
"You said that you learned the hard way that you can't trust many people. I've had that lesson too. And believe me, it was hard. Do you think that my father is an easy person to live with? Do you want to know what he does to me any time I do something that he doesn't like?" Without waiting for her reply, he took off his shirt and showed her his back. There were long scars and bruises all along his back. He put his shirt back on.
"You-you're father did that?" Hermione asked in a small voice.
"Yes, he did. And only you, Snape, and my mum know about it."
"Why did you show me?"
"So you would trust me."
"It's hard for me."
"I know. I know it is. But you will feel better once you talk about it, and I swear to you that I won't tell anyone."
"Ok. I'll try. But you have to know that this is really hard for me."
"Come sit on the couch with me, and talk to me."
Once they were seated, Hermione whispered, "Draco, my father…my father raped me, more than once, actually. He even killed my mother. Every night I dream about it. I never see his face, but I can hear his heavy breathing, and I can smell the alcohol on his breath…" She started to cry. "Afterwards, he would beat me, and tell me I was worth nothing, and that no one could ever love me." She buried her head in her hands.
Draco couldn't believe it. This beautiful angel had been treated like an animal. He pulled her into his arms. Surprisingly, she put her arms around him. She cried into his shoulder, and he rocked her back and forth. They fell asleep in each other's arms.
Hermione was having a terrible nightmare. It wasn't the usual one about her father. This one was different. She was in the middle of a graveyard. There was no one else around. Suddenly, the air was filled with cracks that resounded into the foggy and chilly night. Many figures in robes were gathering in a circle.
Suddenly, a tall cloaked figure walked into the midst of the circle. His voice was eerie and didn't seem human. He spoke, and all others fell silent. The night suddenly became deathly still except for the cloaked figure. Then, a boy of almost eighteen was brought into the middle of the circle. His silvery blonde hair was slicked back neatly, and he was in all black. It was Draco Malfoy.
"You have come to join us, young Malfoy?" the cloaked man asked.
"No. I haven't," Draco relied firmly, but shakily.
"I admire your honesty boy. Tell me, why did you come here then?"
"My father made me."
"Your father was wise for once. You would have made a wonderful Death Eater. Instead, I suppose I will have to kill you. But first, I want to have a little fun. Crucio!"
Draco fell to the ground, writing and screaming in pain. The curse was lifted, and Draco tried to get to his feet. Then, it was on him again, more powerful this time. He shrieked in an indescribable agony. This was repeated two more times. Then, it all stopped. Draco couldn't even get to his feet.
"You weak little fool. You are going to die now."
Draco's only response was to spit blood in the direction of the cloaked man, who was none other than Lord Voldemort.
"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort screamed.
Draco's body was now still. He was dead. Hermione started to scream at the top of her lungs. She refused to believe he was dead. She tried to run to him, but she couldn't.
Hermione's eyes opened suddenly. Draco was shaking her and calling her name.
"Thank Merlin! What was that about?"
"I saw-I saw him. You were there too. He-he killed you. It was terrible. I screamed and screamed, and I tried to get to you." Her eyes were distant, as though she were back in her dream and her breathing was more of a gasp. A cold sweat was on her forehead, and she began to cry.
Draco sat stunned. He couldn't believe the dream she had. And even still, he couldn't believe the way she was reacting to it. He took her closer into his arms, until she was practically sitting in his lap. He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes.
"I'm here, Hermione. I'm not dead. I'm here, with you. Please, stop crying. You're killing me. Please stop crying."
"I'm sorry. I can't help it," she sobbed. "I-I though I lost you forever. It seemed so real. I just couldn't help you. I just sat there and watched. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't help you. I'm so sorry."
"There is nothing to be sorry about. It didn't happen. It was all just a dream. None of it happened. Look. I'm here. I'm right here. You have to stop crying. This is killing me."
She wiped her eyes, but still, some tears came down. He took his thumb and wiped them from her eyes. He looked at her, and she looked at him. Then, completely unexpectedly, Hermione kisses Draco. It wasn't long, but it was sweet and filled with emotion. In those few seconds, Draco knew nothing else except the girl practically in his lap, who had stolen his heart and the feel of her luscious lips on his. It was a feeling he had never known before, and he didn't want it to go away.
Draco smiled down on her, and she smiled back. It was a radiant smile that filled her entire face. For the first time in his whole life, he could see her aura. It was a beautiful golden color, and it shone even through her eyes. When she smiled, the light grew brighter, and he felt a peace that he had never known before. This girl was his, whether or not she knew it yet. They were meant to be.
But nothing ever happens without its consequences, and Draco feared what those might be.
Closing Comments: I know, it's sort of another cliffy. They are so much fun, though. They keep the readers on their toes. Anyway. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please R&R.