A/N: This is a different Lucrecia, a different Vincent. The personalities in this story are not the same as those in "No Brakes" or "Better The Devil". This was also written before "Dirge of Cerberus" was made.

oOo

You know, I just couldn't figure you out at first.

Vincent Valentine, son of probably the most wealthy family on the face of the Planet, Shinra excluded of course. Born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth. All the best education money could buy. I suppose with your connections it was only a matter of time before you ended up at the Corporation.

But as a Turk? An assassin?

Because let's face it, that is what you are, what you do. You kill people. You blow their brains out with those guns of yours, all the while that dazzling smile on your pretty face. Whichever poor soul has pissed the President off this week, you go and you murder them without so much as questioning why. Men, women, children… It's all the same to you.

It took me quite a while to work that one through. Why had you picked the Turks? You could have had any cushy job in Shinra at the drop of a hat. Then it hit me. I could have kicked myself it was that obvious - your reasons were so similar to my own. You liked the power. The control. The danger and the glory.

I have to admit though, you were damn good at it. Joined aged eighteen, leader by twenty two. A lot of people don't even survive in the Turks that long, but you'd not only survived intact, you'd made it to the top of the ranks.

There were rumours flying round the lower floors about your meteoric ascension, you know. That your predecessor hadn't met his end quite the way it was officially reported. The rumours suggested that he had indeed died in battle, but that it had been your bullet that hit him between the eyes, not the enemy's. And that it wasn't accidental. I'm sure you've heard the whispers. It wouldn't surprise me if they were true, or even that it was you who started them. No matter, the President didn't seem to care about the details when he promoted you. The model Turk, so they say. I've seen you at work, I know it's true. But I don't think you were bothered about that, you just loved the feeling it gave you.

And what woman would say no to you? You had everything - the looks, the money, the notoriety - hell, they were practically throwing themselves at your feet. And you just loved that as well. Your pick of the girls in Shinra and in an almost limitless supply.

You just used them all. Had your fun then tossed them away like they were nothing. What do I mean 'like'? They were nothing to you, just a bit of fun to keep you amused. But no matter what you did, they kept coming back for more, didn't they? Maybe they thought they could tame you, change you, I don't know.

And then there was me.

I don't play the game for low stakes. And what greater prize was there than you, the illustrious leader of the Turks?

I'd been working in the Science Division under the shadow of Gast and Hojo for so long, I was getting restless. I too craved power. You would be ideal to help me scratch and claw my way through the ranks here. How much more could my career be advanced if I used you the way I had so many others before you? Decision made, it was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened.

What was I to you in the beginning I wonder? Another conquest to boast about? Another notch on the old bedpost? I wasn't blind, nor was I stupid. Everyone knew the reputation you had. And I knew your game, for it was the one I played myself.

And now the player had at last been played. You didn't expect that, did you? Your own game turned against you. That must have been a surprise. You didn't realise until it was too late that you'd finally met your match. Ha. More than your match.

You'd never met someone like me before, someone who wasn't simply an empty airhead, who played by the same rules that you did. I made you want me then I turned you down, knowing full well how you would take that as a challenge. I led you a merry dance, even if I do say so myself. I had to make you obsessed with me; I wasn't going to let you cast me aside after a few days like you did with all the others. By denying you the power and the control, I had effectively wrapped you round my little finger.

And then, when I was satisfied that you were following me around like a lost little puppy dog, I let you catch me.

I'll confess that I was impressed. I had half an inkling that all those girls had only been attracted to you because of your status, but soon I could see why they kept on returning, even if you had treated them like shit.

But of course, I wanted more than that. When Gast found the Cetra buried in the ice, I knew it was going to be big. Bigger than big. This was probably the greatest scientific discovery man had ever made, and I just had to be a part of it. It would be my stepping stone to greatness, and you would be my stepping stone to the Project. You had a lot of pull with the executives, and with Gast. I'd only mentioned it briefly to you before you were falling over your own feet to fix it up for me.

And you succeeded too, quicker than I ever thought possible. Sometimes I wonder just what favours you called in to do that. Who owed you enough to swing my appointment to the Jenova Project? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Suffice it to say that I was on my way to accomplishing my dream.

The posting at Nibelheim was… I was going to say 'quaint', but archaic would be closer to the mark. A quiet little backwater, but home to the great Shinra Mansion. Odin alone knows why that hulking thing was built in a two gil flea pit like Nibelheim, but it suited our purpose to some extent. Somewhere large and spacious where we could perform our experiments in secrecy. Somehow I wasn't at all surprised when you told me that you'd been given security detail of the Project. I expected you to do something stupid like that, and you probably wondered why I wasn't overcome by joy when you told me.

Perhaps you put it down to nerves. Whatever. The fact remained that I'd climbed as high as I could with you, and the time had come for me to move on for even greater plateaus.

I had seen the plans for the Jenova Project early on of course, so I knew exactly what was going to happen and I saw my golden window of opportunity. Why be content to be only a part of the Project, when I could be the Project? By being the host for the Cetra hybrid we planned, Gast and Hojo would live in my shadow, instead of me in theirs. My course was clear.

I had to convince Hojo.

Gast might have been the foremost scientist on paper, but he was weak. It was his colleague, Doctor Hojo who was the real brains and force behind it all. He positively lived for the Project, and I knew that I could help him achieve it. All I had to do was turn on my charm for him.

It was not a prospect that I particularly relished. Hojo was hardly my type physically, even if his mind was brilliant. The idea of touching him was not one that I enjoyed. You, my Turk, may only have been another rung on the ladder towards my success, but at least you were a good looking and sensual one. Hojo on the other hand… The things I do to placate my ambition.

Poor Hojo was almost too easy to seduce. A lifetime closeted away with his experiments had left him inexperienced and vulnerable to a woman's advances, and few could be as persuasive when they put their mind to it as I. He gladly accepted my offer, and I his. He would agree to the procedure as long as we married. I was surprised by this turn of events, but it was a means to an end, so I chose to grit my teeth and bear it. It would be a marriage of convenience, for both of us.

There just remained one small problem, one last fly in the ointment. You.

You were still there, convinced that I was madly in love with you. I had to show you otherwise. So I worked it out in my head. You'd asked me to go to a local restaurant with you for dinner one evening, so I decided to do it then. But damn it all to hell if you hadn't already come up with your own idea.

The look of shock on my face when you gave me that diamond ring wasn't faked. It was real. I knew you were crazy, but this just took the biscuit. It was now or never.

I told you I didn't love you.

Strange really… I had worked out a speech in my head earlier. Everything was rehearsed perfectly. I'd planned to tell you exactly what I thought of you, how I'd just been using you all along for my own personal gain. But when the time came, I couldn't say the words. I don't know why. I made it as far as the first line then I faltered. I couldn't believe it. How many times had I made this speech to others in the past? Countless. But for some reason I just wasn't able to make my mouth speak the words. So I ran.

It was pure chance that Hojo was standing outside the town gates, having a sly cigarette. I just about crashed into him on my way out. He caught me, asking what the hell was going on. I muttered something, I'm not sure what, but whatever it was he put his arms round me for comfort. It was then that I saw you, lurking in the background.

I presume you followed me out of the restaurant only to clock me and Hojo outside the gates. You were quite a distance away from us, but I could see the exact expression on your face as if you were standing next to me. It was the same as that on the other men I've left by the wayside. But this time I felt a little pang, somewhere inside my chest. Quickly I wished it away, and hugged Hojo tighter to focus my mind. Next time I looked up, you were gone.

I didn't see you for almost a week after that. I knew you were around, but you seemed to make a point of avoiding me. Not that I was complaining. I felt… uncomfortable around you, not to mention there was a lot of work to be done on the Project, including the one major step. I had to conceive. And frankly, there was no way in hell I was going to let that slimy Doctor near me, marriage or no.

I suggested we use an IVF procedure, ostensibly in the name of a greater chance of success, but it also gave the added bonus of not having to sleep with Hojo. He didn't seem to mind. Anything that made the Project go faster was fine by him. Gast couldn't care either way as long as the expected result was produced.

And so it was done.

The Mako injections began not long after that. I've worked in science for a long time and I've seen my fair share of needles, but these ones were huge. I couldn't help but look away as syringe after syringe was jabbed into me on a daily basis. They were strange, combinations of Mako and Jenova cells, designed to latch onto the embryo and integrate with it to create a perfect hybrid.

We succeeded, beyond our wildest expectations. But soon I started to pay the price of my ambition. It must have been about two months in when I started to notice that climbing the stairs back up from the lab took more effort than it used to. Alright, so I was pregnant, but I shouldn't be this tired already. Hojo shrugged it off easily enough, put it down to work. I saw the logic in the argument, so I didn't disagree with him.

Then I started to notice other things. I looked paler than normal, though again it could be put down to working too hard. My hair was dull, my temperament snappy. But the killer giveaway was the veins. You look at your hand, and you might see them, faintly red underneath the skin. Mine were not. Mine were green.

I thought I was seeing things, but you'd noticed it too. You still watched me now and then, though you might have thought I hadn't noticed. Certainly you left me alone for a while, but gradually you began sneaking back, lurking in the shadows like you do so well. We didn't talk, but I could always sense when your eyes were on me.

By then of course you'd worked out what we were doing, and I knew you disapproved. Whether through concern for me or some distorted sense of morality, who's to say? The idea of a Turk having anything resembling ethics is laughable, so I presumed it was the former.

Eventually it seemed you could take it no more, and confronted us. Well, you tried for me on my own, but you missed Hojo in the back room. He'd never liked you anyway, and as soon as he heard you start to besmirch his precious experiment, he just had to join in. What a slanging match that turned into. I dropped out of it as soon as Hojo waded into the fray. From the looks of the pair of you I wouldn't have bet against only one walking out the room alive. For all your talk of right and wrong, you seemed ready to throttle my erstwhile husband, still you stormed off in the end. But not before you'd told me that you were worried about me, that I looked ill. More words in two minutes than you'd spoken to me in weeks.

As the months wore on, it didn't take a genius to work out what was happening to me. The numerous Jenova injections had bonded with the child I carried, but had not taken as much of a liking to me. I grew weaker and weaker, until I was barely able to get down to the lab without assistance.

I confess that I harboured the hope it would reverse itself when the child was born. All the injections must have addled my brain as well as my body. There was no hope for me.

Sephiroth was born exactly as we had anticipated. He was perfect in every detail, so I named him for the angel he was. But as soon as they could, Hojo and Gast took him down to the lab. They refused to let me hold him, refused to let me care for my child.

Gradually I realised that I was to be swept under the carpet, that I would never get the acclaim and glory I had been promised. Hojo used me for his own ends, just as I used you. I was just too blinded by my own desires to see it. Lucrecia was simply a device to his own ends - Sephiroth.

I saw my son though, before he was taken from me, and he was indeed beautiful. And something else there, something which reminded me of…

It was only then that I thought to ask who had provided the paternal genetic material. Hojo smirked when he told me, then laughed at my reaction. Laughed! Why not, he asked? The child was to be a soldier, he would need strong genes. And what better than one of Shinras' elite fighters?

You, Vincent.

Always it came back to you, didn't it? Even now, as I lie here in my bed dying, it all comes back to you. Do you know how close to death I am? Do you even care any more? You said that you loved me, loved me more than anything else in this world. All these past months you've been hovering in the background, watching me. So why have you abandoned me now when I need you the most? When your son needs you?

I know… I know that I haven't always treated you the way I should have. But don't you see, I realise my mistakes now. I can see what a thrice damned fool I was to push you away. I never gave you the love that you so freely gave to me. I'm sorry! So sorry for what I've done…

I heard gunshots a moment ago. Even closeted up here in my little room, I could hear the noise. Have you killed Hojo? Gast?

What have I done? I've thrown away everything I had just to play games with you all, and where has it got me? Somehow the game twisted, became warped, and I spun out of control. Oh Vincent, if only I could tell you this.

But you're not coming, are you?