Disclaimer: Oh, do I have to say this again? HP belongs to J.K., already.
Chapter 4: All By Myself
Lily stared blankly at the walls of her room. Why was it so hard? She could've just said yes to Sirius's question. Why did she still keep holding herself back from happiness? She flopped onto her bed, clutching a pillow to her chest, knowing very well she could answer those two questions. James. It was always because of James. Because of him, she'd let her life become a shambles. Because of him, she'd lost the will to live and to love. For the first time in six months, I actually felt alive, she reflected. And Sirius did that to me. Maybe it was time to grow up. Maybe it was time she got over James, time she broke his hold over her. Maybe it was time to try and love again. She glanced a photograph she had of James and herself, in a frame. Resolutely, she placed it facedown. Maybe I don't love Sirius as much as I did James, but I'll grow to do so in time.
The sun shone brightly over the Italian countryside. James Potter leaned back and caught the sun's rays on his face. A barrel of wine he was supposed to be bringing to the storehouse lay abandoned on the grass beside him. Ah, bliss. On days like this, it was so nice to just lie back and relax. "Evan, what are you doing?" James turned and gulped at the sight of Elsa Saram, his dearest friend and constant companion. She was tapping her foot, her bronzed arms crossed over her chest. "You, Evan, are supposed to be working, not lazing around." "Elsa," James pleaded, widening his eyes. "Live a little. It's such a beautiful day. I'm sure Paolo won't kill us." "He won't kill me because I don't work for him," she countered. "But you do." James tugged her down onto the grass beside him. "Come on." Elsa resisted for five more seconds, then she gave up and sat down beside him. Plucking a dandelion from the ground, she blew on it, sending petals flying everywhere. James could never remember exactly how he'd gotten to Italy. He'd awoken one morning in a hospital bed, Elsa standing over him. James had had no recollection of his past, not even his own name. Elsa had named him Evan since, she told him, the first thing he'd said when he'd come to was "Evans." When James had first realized he could not remember anything at all, he'd slammed Elsa against a wall and escaped from the hospital in a bout of fury and confusion. Elsa had gone after him, managed to calm him, and brought him back to her friend Paolo's place. Paolo had allowed James to move in, and when James had warmed to them, even offered him a job at his winery. James could not recall a time when he had met such a caring bunch. Elsa was even devoting her time to finding out who he was. The most they had deduced was that James was from England, due to his having an English accent. Elsa's hazel eyes, so like his own, shone as she gazed out over the countryside. "It's so beautiful here," she breathed. James stared over the countryside. He had to agree that Italy was lovely, but he was homesick for somewhere. Funny. Homesick for a place he didn't know. "Yeah, I guess." Elsa's sharp ears caught the slightly down tone in his voice. "You must miss your old hometown, don't you?" James shrugged. "It's just- it's so weird. I'm homesick for a place I don't know. I'm missing people I can't remember. I miss doing things that I can't recall." Elsa turned to him. "Evan, you lost your memory, not your emotions, your reactions. Your heart still reacts to the fact that you're in a different environment." James sighed. "I suppose. But I can't help wondering-did I leave someone behind? Did I have really good buddies somewhere? Was I a good person? Maybe I'm some sort of famous guy but I don't know I am." Elsa laughed. "Right. You must be a movie star. I'll go inform your agent now." James swatted at her. "It's not funny. Maybe I had girlfriend or even a fiancée then," he mused. "Someone's who's searching for me somewhere out there. Someone who can tell me who I am." She smiled. "That's a beautiful thought." "I just want to tell whoever that girl is that I'm OK, and I'm safe. Stop her from worrying," James whispered. "Say it," Elsa encouraged. "She may not be here right now, but I'm sure somehow she'll hear you." James stood up and shouted to the sun, "Whoever you are out there, I'm OK and I'm safe! Please don't worry, I'm all right here with Elsa and Paolo!" Elsa stood beside him. "And I will take care of him, and bring him back to you!" she added. Paolo, a thirty-something, heavyset guy with short black hair he kept tucked under a baseball cap, poked his head out. " 'Oy, Evan, Elsa! What are you two doing? Evan, that barrel of wine still needs to be taken to the storehouse, and lunch is ready!" Elsa walked over to the barrel of wine. "Here, I'll help you." "Thanks." Together, James and Elsa headed for the storehouse.
Chapter 4: All By Myself
Lily stared blankly at the walls of her room. Why was it so hard? She could've just said yes to Sirius's question. Why did she still keep holding herself back from happiness? She flopped onto her bed, clutching a pillow to her chest, knowing very well she could answer those two questions. James. It was always because of James. Because of him, she'd let her life become a shambles. Because of him, she'd lost the will to live and to love. For the first time in six months, I actually felt alive, she reflected. And Sirius did that to me. Maybe it was time to grow up. Maybe it was time she got over James, time she broke his hold over her. Maybe it was time to try and love again. She glanced a photograph she had of James and herself, in a frame. Resolutely, she placed it facedown. Maybe I don't love Sirius as much as I did James, but I'll grow to do so in time.
The sun shone brightly over the Italian countryside. James Potter leaned back and caught the sun's rays on his face. A barrel of wine he was supposed to be bringing to the storehouse lay abandoned on the grass beside him. Ah, bliss. On days like this, it was so nice to just lie back and relax. "Evan, what are you doing?" James turned and gulped at the sight of Elsa Saram, his dearest friend and constant companion. She was tapping her foot, her bronzed arms crossed over her chest. "You, Evan, are supposed to be working, not lazing around." "Elsa," James pleaded, widening his eyes. "Live a little. It's such a beautiful day. I'm sure Paolo won't kill us." "He won't kill me because I don't work for him," she countered. "But you do." James tugged her down onto the grass beside him. "Come on." Elsa resisted for five more seconds, then she gave up and sat down beside him. Plucking a dandelion from the ground, she blew on it, sending petals flying everywhere. James could never remember exactly how he'd gotten to Italy. He'd awoken one morning in a hospital bed, Elsa standing over him. James had had no recollection of his past, not even his own name. Elsa had named him Evan since, she told him, the first thing he'd said when he'd come to was "Evans." When James had first realized he could not remember anything at all, he'd slammed Elsa against a wall and escaped from the hospital in a bout of fury and confusion. Elsa had gone after him, managed to calm him, and brought him back to her friend Paolo's place. Paolo had allowed James to move in, and when James had warmed to them, even offered him a job at his winery. James could not recall a time when he had met such a caring bunch. Elsa was even devoting her time to finding out who he was. The most they had deduced was that James was from England, due to his having an English accent. Elsa's hazel eyes, so like his own, shone as she gazed out over the countryside. "It's so beautiful here," she breathed. James stared over the countryside. He had to agree that Italy was lovely, but he was homesick for somewhere. Funny. Homesick for a place he didn't know. "Yeah, I guess." Elsa's sharp ears caught the slightly down tone in his voice. "You must miss your old hometown, don't you?" James shrugged. "It's just- it's so weird. I'm homesick for a place I don't know. I'm missing people I can't remember. I miss doing things that I can't recall." Elsa turned to him. "Evan, you lost your memory, not your emotions, your reactions. Your heart still reacts to the fact that you're in a different environment." James sighed. "I suppose. But I can't help wondering-did I leave someone behind? Did I have really good buddies somewhere? Was I a good person? Maybe I'm some sort of famous guy but I don't know I am." Elsa laughed. "Right. You must be a movie star. I'll go inform your agent now." James swatted at her. "It's not funny. Maybe I had girlfriend or even a fiancée then," he mused. "Someone's who's searching for me somewhere out there. Someone who can tell me who I am." She smiled. "That's a beautiful thought." "I just want to tell whoever that girl is that I'm OK, and I'm safe. Stop her from worrying," James whispered. "Say it," Elsa encouraged. "She may not be here right now, but I'm sure somehow she'll hear you." James stood up and shouted to the sun, "Whoever you are out there, I'm OK and I'm safe! Please don't worry, I'm all right here with Elsa and Paolo!" Elsa stood beside him. "And I will take care of him, and bring him back to you!" she added. Paolo, a thirty-something, heavyset guy with short black hair he kept tucked under a baseball cap, poked his head out. " 'Oy, Evan, Elsa! What are you two doing? Evan, that barrel of wine still needs to be taken to the storehouse, and lunch is ready!" Elsa walked over to the barrel of wine. "Here, I'll help you." "Thanks." Together, James and Elsa headed for the storehouse.