DOCTOR WHO AND THE ANIMANIACS!!
Writer's note: I originally wrote this on the Outpost Gallifrey Doctor Who forum under the name of DancesWithFrogs as a sort of Round Robin tale, but as no-one else picked it up I kept on and it just grew into this nonsense you read here. Why is it in script format? Just thought it would be better if you used your imagination. Just pretend you're watching a cartoon. I hope you enjoy! Oh, and by the way, I don't own any of the characters of course.
CHAPTER ONE
Setting; a cartoonish-looking park. Yakko, Wakko and Dot run down the path and hide behind a tree. After a few moments Yakko peeks out.
YAKKO: I think we gave Ralph the slip!
WAKKO: I gave him a pair of bloomers too!
DOT: You shouldn't have. I don't think that was his color.
WAKKO: So now what do we do?
YAKKO: Come along, siblings. All we have to do is stroll down this path until the plot of this story shows up!
DOT: Plot? Since when did we ever need a plot?
YAKKO: Hush. (puts a hand to his ear as a loud grinding noise sounds) Hark! That is the sound of adventure!
WAKKO: No it isn't. That's the sound of my stomach!
Yakko and Dot look at Wakko's belly as it growls and rumbles, then Wakko lets out a loud belch.
WAKKO: Excuse me, I feel much better now.
YAKKO: Then let us resume our trek. (stops and puts a hand to his ear again at a loud grinding noise) Hark! That is…(pauses, then looks over at Wakko)
WAKKO: It isn't me this time!
YAKKO: Hark! That is the sound of adventure!
(The noise gets louder then fades away)
WAKKO: Hey look! Somebody left a port-a-potty by that tree!
DOT: Funny place for one. Aren't they supposed to be at construction sites?
(They walk up to the box and just when Yakko starts to knock, the door opens and the Eighth Doctor appears.)
YAKKO: Excuse me, I didn't know ot was occupied!
DOT: Oooo he's dreamy! (Her eyes shape into hearts)
DOCTOR: Hello, I'm the Doctor…Umph! (grunts when Dot leaps up into his arms)
DOT: Hel-LOOO Doctor!!
YAKKO: (holds up a script and nudges Dot) Psst! That line is supposed to be 'Hel-LOO Nurse'!
DOT: You say it your way and I'll say it mine.
WAKKO: Faboo! (peers into TARDIS) Hey guys! Get a load of the size of this port-a-potty!
(Yakko and Dot quickly follow Wakko inside.)
DOCTOR: Hey! Just a minute!
(Inside the Animaniacs look awed.)
YAKKO: hey, pretty cool. Y'know, you could make a fortune in the condo business!
DOT: What -is- this place?
DOCTOR: It's my TARDIS.
DOT: Tardust? Then you should clean more, sugar. (Whips out featherduster and starts waving it about.)
DOCTOR: No no no, TARDIS!
WAKKO: You mean that white sauce they put on fish? (pulls out large fish from sack, makes a sandwich and eats it.)
YAKKO: Don't be silly. He means Tartan! (All three assume Scottish gear while Yakko blows on a set of bagpipes.)
DOCTOR: (sighing) TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. T-A-R-D-I-S. TARDIS!
YAKKO: Oooh, you mean this is a vehicle that can not only traverse the incaculable large amount of distance between galaxies but can also cross over the very continuim of Time itself, as sometimes explained by Einstein's Theory of Relativities? Why didn't you say so in the first place?
DOCTOR: You'd understand all that?
YAKKO: No, but saying it makes the script writer look intelligent.
DOT: And she certainly needs help in that department!
WAKKO: What's this thing? (sticks iti n his mouth and swallows it.)
DOCTOR: That's…ah…it -was- a Randomizer.
WAKKO: (hiccups) Needs sugar.
DOCTOR: Look, why don't you all just….
YAKKO: So this is a time machine, eh? You can go anytime?
DOCTOR: yes.
YAKKO: You've got the railway beat then.
DOT: Ooo can we go back to Ancient Egypt? I'd love to meet Cleopatra!
WAKKO: Can we go back to the 1919 World's Fair? I want to meet the inventor of the submarine sandwich!
YAKKO: Can we go back to last week? I need to change my report card.
DOCTOR: Oh. Oh all right, but just a short trip, mind.
YAKKO: All RIGHT! Come on, siblings! Get in gear for NASA!
(All three suddenly change into space suits. Wakko has his helmet on backwards, Dot twists it around for him but we still see just the back of his head.)
DOCTOR: Wait a moment, what does the North American Space Administration have to do with anything?
YAKKO: The who?
DOCTOR: NASA. You just mentioned NASA.
YAKKO: Yes, of course. 'Nuther Animated Space Adventure!
(The Doctor looks confused.)
DOCTOR: But…the word 'another' begins with an 'A'…
DOT: Please don't quibble. It doesn't become you.
YAKKO: Ok siblings! Attention! Today we go forth into uncharted space! To boldly go where no one has gone before…!
(Wakko suddenly squirms and crosses his legs, holds up one hand.)
WAKKO: I gotta go now!
(They all look at the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Down the hall, second door on the left.
WAKKO: Thanks! (zips off)
YAKKO: (continuing) To seek out new and weird episodes! To explore strange new scripts! To…ah…to….anybody want to add to this?
DOT: To find cute new people, like this one! (jumps up into the Doctor's arms again)
YAKKO: Ah. Yeah. Right. So Doctor, what are you anyway? Human? Vulcan? Martian? Something scribbled by Hanna and Barbara?
DOCTOR: (trying to set Dot down) I'm…uh…I'm a Time Lord.
YAKKO: Time Lord. I see. (Dot and Yakko look at each other.) So, what does a Time Lord do? Fix clocks? Or rule them?
DOCTOR: I travel in Time and Space.
YAKKO: Is that a good position? How are the benefits?
DOCTOR: Benefits?
YAKKO: Any chance of a promotion soon?
DOCTOR: I…uh…that is…
(Wakko re-enters the room.)
WAKKO: Wow, you got some weird potty in there. I almost couldn't find the handle!
DOCTOR: Handle?
WAKKO: Yeah, and that light down inside. Really creepy.
DOCTOR: Ah…something tells me you didn't really find the bathroom.
WAKKO: I didn't?
(The Doctor shakes his head, Wakko turns red.)
WAKKO: Oops.
DOCTOR: Well, I hope I can locate a mop or two.
WAKKO: Sorry about that. I thought you said the door on the left.
DOCTOR: -Second- door on the left!
YAKKO: (over by the console) Wow, look at all this control stuff. Hey, you got cable or satellite?
WAKKO: Lemme push a button! I want to push a button! (reaches over)
YAKKO: Wakko! Stop! Don't you know any better than that? We're in an alien spacecraft and you want to go off and push buttons?! I'm surprised at you!
WAKKO: (ashamed) I'm sorry.
YAKKO: You go for the levers instead! See? (Reaches out and yanks a lever)
DOCTOR: Wait!
WAKKO: (also pulls various levers and the whole ship shudders, throwing them all about.) Wheee!!
DOCTOR: Stop it! (fights to gain his feet, reaches the console and quickly stabilizes everything) There, you've done it. We've dematerialized.
WAKKO: We did? I didn't feel a thing.
YAKKO: I told you it wouldn't hurt.
DOCTOR: No, I mean we've taken off.
DOT: Hey! Speak for yourself! This is a family show!
DOCTOR: Nonononono. We're heading someplace, some distant planet.
YAKKO: Well, you should've fixed this thing so it took off more smoothly. Someone could get hurt!
DOCTOR: Wha…? Look, just who and what are you anyway?
YAKKO: Why, we're the Warner Brothers!
DOT: And the Warner Sister!
YAKKO: I'm Yakko!
WAKKO: And I'm Wakko!
DOT: And I'm Dot, the cute one! (flutters her eyes at the Doctor)
DOCTOR: Ahem, yes, well, that explains who you are but…just -what- are you, exactly?
YAKKO: You mean you don't know?
DOCTOR: I haven't a clue.
YAKKO: Why…(he and the others line up)…we're your new companions!!
DOCTOR: Uh…
(Wakko blows a note on a harmonica and Yakko begins to sing)
YAKKO: (to the tune of the theme of The Addams Family)
We're zooming in the TARDIS
To planets thru some stardust
We don't know where we are 'cuz
We travel with Doctor Who!
This place is like a junk pail
He must've got it wholesale
We could have us quite a yard sale
With the stuff of Doctor Who's!
Da da da dum…Neat! (Yakko dressed at the Fifth Doctor)
Da da da dum…Sweet! (Dot dressed as Nyssa)
Da da da dum da da da dum da da da dum…Geek! (Wakko dressed as Adric)
We run away from Daleks
We speak in funny dialects
We hope to find some space wrecks
That were caused by Doctor Who!
DOCTOR: Yes. Well, and just what was the point of that exercise?
YAKKO: (shrugs) We have to sing at least every third episode.
DOT: It's in our contract, see? (holds up WB contract)
BRAIN: Don't remind me!
PINKY: Ah, but I think you have a lovely singing voice, Brain! Especially that time when you had to wear that grass skirt and coconut shells and you sang…Oghg (Brain has him held tight by the muzzle)
BRAIN: (calmly) Pinky, if you ever mention that one event to me ever again, I shall be forced to hook you up to the microwave and carbonize your celleberum to its separate components.
PINKY: Ok Brain. Um…would that be a good thing, or a bad thing?
BRAIN: In your case it would be an improvement.
DOCTOR: Now just how did two white mice get into my TARDIS?
BRAIN: We gained entrance the same manner as the bats did, of course.
DOCTOR: But they…ah…I mean…they just…
BRAIN: Precisely. Come Pinky, we have to get started.
PINKY: Ok Brain. What are we going to do again?
BRAIN: We are going to work on a plan to take over whatever world this time machine lands on, of course!
PINKY: Oh yeah! Right! Uh…can we go thru the room with the butterflies again? Please Brain?
BRAIN: Oh very well, but this time don't be trying to talk with them!
(The Doctor watches them leave, confusion in his face. Yakko slides up next to him.)
YAKKO: Y'know, Doc, if I were you, I'd invest in a good caulking gun!
To be continued…..!!!