Chocolaty Pacifiers
thebeautifullypainfulretrospect
Nikki fiddled with an ice cream spoon , suddenly delving into the frozen chocolate with a flourish , shoving the frozen treat into her mouth at an amazing speed .
It reminded her of Jake .
"I want the guy who used to say stuff like that to me , Jake ."
She missed him .
Nikki had gone to the BoyToy auction in hopes of winning Jake back , but it hadn't worked . Jake used to say that the only thing he needed in life was a pint of ice cream .
Nikki used to think that the only thing she needed in life was Jake . She was wrong . She needed Jenny too .
The carton half finished , the spoon shoved into what was left in the container . The dusky, humid North Carolina evening settled into the motel room . She buries her face into the cheap and worn armrest of the chair she sitting in and lets out a muffled, anguished scream .God , did she need a drink . She peered under the couch , where she had hidden a beer for a moment just like this . Between squinting and feeling around for the pre-mentioned bottle, she found an unknown object . She pulled her dusty, tired arm out from under the couch, retracting a pacifier .
Jenny.
She had never meant to leave Jenny . It was just one night that led to a few weeks , and she ended up falling in love with Jake . And then this happened. Jenny happened . It had scared her to death . The birth had been hazy , in and out of a painkiller daze . Nikki remembered feeling bouts of excruciating pain . She remembered Jake squeezing her hand and her nails digging into his , supposedly leaving tiny half moon scars .
She hadn't hung around long enough to see the scabs develop.