AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks so much for my reviews. I must apologize for this chapter, it's rather short, and not as funny as usual. BUT it is important because it sets up for a lot of confrontation via Instant Messenger. The whole concept is that this rumor gets spread between the friends about Hermione and Ron, and HOPEFULLY, if I don't screw up while writing it, it'll be hilarious in the next chapter.

Dear Parvati,

Hey! It's me, Lavender. Oh my God, you're NEVER going to believe this! Ron and Hermione did it!!! They made out with each other!!! This is the most news we've had in a LONG time. Yay!

Write back soon! Eeek!

Much Love,

Lavender.

Dear Dean,
Hey, Dean! It's me, Lavender. Long time no see, eh? Anyway, I'm writing to let you know the latest gossip. You know Ron and Hermione? Okay, stupid question, of course you know Ron and Hermione, we go to school with them. Sorry Dean, I'm not making any sense, but I'm just so happy for Ron and Hermione because (hold your breath, Dean, this is a good one) they made out! Now don't be like Neville and say, "With each other?"

I hope you're more up on things, Dean.

Anyway, you haven't been on line in a long time, maybe you're on holiday. I hope you're somewhere fun and... tropical! Sorry, I'm just so giddy right now, I think I might pass out anyway.

I have to go write to your mate Seamus.

Much Love,

Lavender

Dear Seamus,
Hey! It's me, Lavender! You're NEVER going to believe this! eekk! It's so exciting. Ron and Hermione made out with each other! Whoopee! So much for Ron's sexual tension that we all know he's been dealing with. Heh. You're probably not going to find this as amusing as I do, but this whole Ron Hermione things is awesome! Everyone is hooking up, and it's cool. But, Seamus, do you ever feel lonely? I'll end this letter with that thought...

Much Love,

Lavender.

Parvati sat staring out of her window, when she saw Lavender's owl, "Owl Pie" (Lav had named it when she was four...) flying through the night. She opened her window, and it flew through.

"Hey, Owl Pie, here have something to eat." She smiled at it, and untied the letter.

Dear Parvati,
Hey! It's me, Lavender. Oh my God, you're NEVER going to believe this! Ron and Hermione did it!!!....

Parvati jumped up, and in her spastic ways, knocked over her bottle of Butterbeer. It landed all over her letter smearing the rest of it. All Parvati had to see was, "Ron and Hermione did it!!!"

And that was enough proof for her...

Dearest Neville,
Hey, Neville. It's Parvati? How're you doing? I miss you so much! I can't wait to see you again..

But on an interesting note, you'll NEVER believe what I've found out...

Ron and Hermione did it! That's right, Neville, they had sex!

Can you believe it? I can't! This is... so weird. God. I hope Hermione didn't get pregnant. She'd have enough sense to use protection, right? Right? God, now I'm worrying.

Sorry to keep dragging on dear, but... anyway, how have you been? I asked you that all ready, didn't I? I miss you so much, I can't wait to be back in school so I can see you again.

Forever and Always...

Much Love,

Parvati.

Dear Harry,

I'm writing to you with the utmost confidence that you will not reveal me, or my source, and you will not do anything stupid when I inform you with what I'm about to tell you. I know this sounds formal (and unusually smart... huh, if I didn't know it was me writing this, I would think I was a genius... well, except for this part. Okay, never mind, I'm rambling and now I'm sounding profoundly dumb. Profoundly, that's a BIG word. Wow!) but this is urgent, none the less.

I got a note from my sumptuous (another BIG word. Okay, I'm not using the thesaurus to find another word that means BIG... TREMENDOUS!) girl friend (girl friend can be replaced with demoiselle playmate... heh, how "Playboy" does that sound?.). Okay, so this important information revolves around your two friends (Other words for friends: Chums, amigos, acquaintances). Those two chums being Ron and Hermione.

I've gotten word that they have had... uh, had sex and I'm worried about them. (Other words for that: intimate relations, intercourse, love-making... hahaha) Harry, I'm begging you, have a man-to-man chat with your amigo Ron about condoms and such. (yeoman-to-fellow rap or "tête-à-tête" whatever the heck a "tête-à-tête" is. And isn't a yeoman someone who farms his own land?)

I don't want to scare you, and although my letter was rather bone-headed and light-hearted, I want you to take this with the seriousness and "sobriety" that it deserves.

Hope all goes well,

From, (Out of possession of, regarding, in re)

Neville

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks so much for the reviews that you gave me!!!!! You all kick some serious arse! :-D!!!!

REVIEW PLEASE! (Other words for: Critique, analysis, report).

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