Summary: "Don't you know what I'd do for you?" James Potter loves Lillian Evans with all his heart . . . but his feelings aren't returned. Is there hope for a future that may never come?

Disclaimer: JK is the soul provider for these great ideas and talents; I merely embellish them into what you see before you now.

Authors Note: I'm SO SORRY if I took so long to update...I have not abandoned the story! Christmas, New Years, everything has been very time consuming, but you know how that is...right? Right.

I am also apologizing beforehand for any errors or spelling mistakes in this chapter. I got a new computer for Christmas (go me) and I have yet to load Microsoft Word into it. The WordPad will have to do for now. Hopefully, I will be smart enough to use my brain to correct and find any errors. Also, when I went to update this story, it wouldn't let me...probably because of the type of WordPad document tag thing...wish me luck, for I am currently sending it to my email and gonna go use sissy's computer to load it...BEAR WITH ME HERE!

With that said, has anyone here into Lord of the Rings? Have you seen the Return of the King? QUALITY entertainment, I assure you. You haven't lived until you've seen it. By the way, the flashbacks and thoughts are supposed to be in italics, but the computer is 'effed up and may not use them. Now that I've been successful in keeping you all waiting long enough, here's the next chapter! Ta ta!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was nearing October 31st, and everyone was sure that the new-and-improved Lily was there to stay. She had shown no signs of remembering anything, and she was beginning to get on some people's nerves. She wasn't the calm, cool, and collected person she used to be. When dealt with a challenging problem, she'd get very nervous and on some occasions she would be seen in the bathrooms crying from being under so many responsibilities. Paige and Lynette were starting to wonder how hard she had actually hit her head.

"Lily, Lily, its okay!" Paige said nervously as Lily began to tear up in the Common Room one dreary Friday night. "Honey, you're gonna do fine! Lynette!" She hissed, glancing over at the brunette that was currently buried in Lily's old werewolf book. Lynette looked up, a dreading look on her face. "Help me!" Paige mouthed, motioning to the hyperventilating redhead. Lynette hurriedly shook her head, not wanting to be the center of another of Lily's crying spells. Paige furiously shook her head up and down...had anyone been watching, you might have thought she was trying to head-bang. Lynette finally gave in.

"Lily, shush, its okay, hon! Um..." She quickly looked at Paige. "What's okay?" She mouthed.

"The Halloween Ball." Paige mouthed back, patting Lily's back comfortingly. "Right." Lynette whispered.

"Lily, that Halloween Ball is nothing! No one really cares about it! You only need good food and a scary theme!"

Lily began bawling, earning odd looks from everyone around the room. Several people walked upstairs to the dorms muttering about peace and quiet.

"I don't know any scary themes!" She said distressingly. "I can't remember much, you know? After I had that accident or whatever..."

"James will take care of it." Lynette said matter-of-factly. Lily tilted her head up towards her, now silent.

"He will?"

"Yes. I'm sure of it."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Damn that Lynette!" James whispered furiously from his hiding spot on the top of the stairs. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and himself had been listening to Lily's crying scene trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

"It's so weird." Peter said, leaning a bit on the stone banister. "Have any of you ever seen anyone act this way from a memory charm or anything?" The rest of the boys shook their heads, trying to make out the rest of the conversation.

"She just said I would take care of the damn ball!" James said, rising from the stairs. "That is IT. I'm sick of doing all this. Lily acts like such a damsel in distress nowadays, and I'm doing BOTH of our Head duties. This sucks wind!"

"James, lower your voice!" Sirius said in fear of being found out. "Yeah, we know. Lily's changed, man. At least she's not crabby and mean anymore...would you rather her be that?"

"As a matter of fact, YES." James said crisply, remembering his one-person conversation with Lily in her dorm. Every day Lily seemed to be getting more and more emotional...especially when it came to school duties. She would always run to her teachers when a spell seemed too hard or too complicated...and usually they let her get what she wanted, because of her memory lapse. In fact, many of the professors were holding a grudge against James. It may have been my fault, James thought, gritting his teeth, and they may have lost one of their best students...but they still have ME! I've been doing g-r-e-a-t in school lately...teachers are so damn complicated.

"Now I have to arrange the Halloween Ball too!" James said again, frustration evident in his voice. He walked back up to the seventh year dorms, stomping loudly on the stairs like a child, leaving his friends increasingly worried.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lily was scared.

Ever since she had woken up she had been scared.

She didn't usually show it, but she was.

The moment she had awoken in the hospital wing, she knew something was wrong. First of all, she thought she was kidnapped because her surroundings were completely...odd. She had no idea where she was.

Over the course of the school term, Lily had been trying to find pieces of her identity...like pieces to a puzzle. But it was far too hard. Everything she found only confused her more. Her diary had pages full of things that she was sure could help her out...but it just seemed to mess everything up. In her diary, it said she hated dogs.

What? She thought. Dogs are adorable.

It said that she hated cherries. They're not so bad...

And it also revealed things about a 'horrible James Potter'. Now that's nonsense! She remembered thinking. James Potter is one of the sweetest guys I have ever met!

She had certificates and little awards by her bed signifying her great past accomplishments and goals met, but thinking of having to do all those things made Lily want to be sick. How could I have done all of these things? She thought glumly. I can hardly get anything done now.

Now lying in her bed, Lily began to cry. She had been doing that a lot lately. Everyone was constantly telling her to 'just be herself'. How could she when she had no idea what 'herself' was like? Why couldn't she have died instead of lost her memory?

"I can't remember my family." She said through her tears. "I have a sister...some flower name I think...but I don't remember her..."

She was in a horrible depression stage. She would spend most of her time crying or brooding over her past, but she did her best to hide it from many everyone...she wasn't doing a good job. She could tell that she wasn't acting the way she normally did, she knew that much. But she didn't know how to be like she was before.

Staring at the awards, the baby blanket spread out over her bed, the pink slippers sitting innocently next to her nightstand, Lily sat up at wiped off her face. If she was going to try and act like she used to, she was going to have to have the endurance.

"Proper Head Girl duties start now." She murmured, a hint of determination in her voice.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

For the next week, Lily actually began to try. She wasn't really the top student, but she began to work harder at things she couldn't do before, or didn't have the patience to stick with. A spell that she couldn't get right would be perfected with ease after a few tries instead of quitting after the first wave of a wand. Crying was something she tried to believe was nonexistent.

James noticed that she was taking more responsibilities on her hands and was grateful. Doing both of their Head duties was quite overwhelming for him...he wasn't exactly the type of person who enjoyed doing extra work. Yet he still sensed something wrong.

It was Saturday in the Common Room, and most of the students had taken their leave and gone to sleep. James and Lily were an exception. They were still up late with a few of the other workaholics in the Gryffindor House, pouring over decorations for the ball.

"Nah, I don't think we need those there." Lily said, crossing out the flying bats with her quill. "I don't like bats."

"How would you know?" James retorted hotly. He hated it when he couldn't get his sleep. "Besides, we always have bats at the Halloween ball. Its tradition."

"Sorry!" Lily said in an agitated tone. "I didn't know."

They continued to go over the list of supplies and themes.

"What sorts of colors should we make the banners and things?" Lily asked nervously; James had been watching her for a while now, and it didn't help when every idea she came up with was somehow just 'not what he had in mind'.

"Duh. Black and orange. I kind of thought you'd know that one there." James said, scribbling down a note on a corner of the parchment. They would need more; they had already used up two rolls of parchment on the designs alone.

Lily was overcome with a wave of despair but hid it away and carried on with writing stuff down. How was she supposed to know about Halloween colors? It's not like she could really remember Halloween.

"That tall man is bringing in pumpkins, right?" Lily asked James when she thought of pumpkins in the Great Hall.

James sighed. "Yes, Lily." He spoke to her like an adult to a child. "Hagrid is growing pumpkins." He began to mutter under his breath about something and was too quiet for Lily to hear, but she was increasingly angry nonetheless. One more time, she thought. One more time and I'm done. James was busy drawing a model of the Great Hall in full color and animation when Lily interrupted him again.

"James?"

He gritted his teeth. Couldn't she just let him be? He shook his head. What's wrong with me today?

"Yes...?" He asked, trying to make himself patient, but only making it seem like he was…well, not.

With that one word said, Lily's face suddenly became stony and hard. She glared at him through her beautiful green eyes...they were watering rapidly. What...what did I say? James wondered.

Lily tried to stand but hit her knee on the table; her reflexes reacted immediately, making her kick James directly in his...well yeah.

Her recoiled sharply in pain, squirming around in his seat trying to catch his breath. Lily as well had her eyes shut because of her smarting kneecap, and didn't notice the pain she had bestowed upon James.

"Ice..." James said suddenly after a few minutes.

"What?" Lily asked, opening her eyes. She saw James and his uncomfortable disposition. "Oh...oh! My God, I am SO sorry James! Please forgive me! I was just..." She saw that James was actually listening and blushed. "Go on..." He said, curious despite his pain.

"No, we should take care of you first." Lily said, effectively killing the subject. "Should I take you to the hospital wing or just leave you still?"

It was quite funny, really... anyone overhearing them might have thought it was something extremely serious.

"I just need ice..." James said, going over his options quickly. Option 1: He could just lay here in pain and wait until he felt better. Embarrassment and harassment dodged. Option 2: He could risk further injury and let Lily take him to the hospital wing, only to be very embarrassed when he had to face Madame Prenny. However, she could see to it that the pain and...any other damages done could be taken care of. Neither option was very appealing.

He cursed his luck. The OLD Lily would have probably known some kind of healing spell. Sure, his mum was a healer, but still...he had no desire to be one. He had no idea what the hell went on in their heads. The spells were too complicated anyhow.

"Erm...sure, lets get to the infirmary." He stood up, and Lily tried not to watch as he protectively covered his injured area with his hands. "Do you...uh...need help?" She asked, fighting back giggles rising in her throat.

"Nah, just come with me." He didn't want to be embarrassed by Madame Prenny alone. Lily would be a comfort to have there. Besides, he needed to talk with her.

Together, Lily and James walked slowly to the hospital wing, James occasionally letting out a grunt. Lily was forever glad that she wasn't a male.

"Does that really hurt that bad?" She asked him, earning a glare.

"Yes."

No more was said.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"...and that's what happened. I might need a little bit of medicine for my knee too, Madame, it's bruising up.

Madame Prenny looked between the two teens, amusement evident on her face. "You two sit tight now." She said, ushering them to some nearby chairs. "I'll be back in a minute."

Retreating to a back room, Madame Prenny went to go fetch some supplies. Every so often a chuckle or bark of laughter was heard and James and Lily would go red in the face; both because of embarrassment and outrage.

She finally returned, an ice pack for James in her hand. "Drink this, both of you." She said, handing them a vial of pinkish-orange liquid. Lily drank it all down, though it was very bitter and thick.

Handing her empty vial back to Madame Prenny, she wiped off her mouth and glanced at James. He was holding the ice pack to his groin and drinking the liquid at the same time. A laughable situation.

She noticed that the pain was receding from her knee and the bruise was slowly fading away. Satisfied with the results, she smiled and thanked Madame Prenny for her help. James on the other hand, had finished his vial and was clutching the ice pack for dear life.

"Dear, your pain will be gone in a moment." The nurse said smiling. "I need for you to give me the ice pack."

James shook his head, shrinking away from her. The nurse sighed.

"Fine, fine!" She said. "When you think you're done with it, put it in one of the sinks."

She left Lily and James in the empty room. It technically wasn't empty, 'cause Lily and James were still there, but you get it.

"Lily?" James asked, opening his eyes. Lily raised a brow in question.

"What...what was that all about?"

Lily sighed, knowing he was probably going to ask this sooner or later. "I don't know how to say this James, but...you upset me back there."

"Upset? How?" James asked in confusion, sitting up a little straighter and removing the ice pack.

"You were acting as if I had no sense. Like I didn't remember anything."

"You...don't." James said, not really sure where this was going.

"Exactly, James. I don't and it's not my fault! Can you tell me whose fault it is?"

James felt the guilt drop like a rock into his stomach.

"Mine." He said finally, slumping a bit.

Lily sniffed, and James realized that she was going to have a crying spell. "Don't cry! Please don't cry..." He hated crying girls.

"James," Lily said, a lone tear streaking down her cheek. "I can't remember anything. Do you know how hard that is on me? Everyone tells me to 'be myself' and I can't say I know how! I'm trying to do all these things, be friends with all these people, get used to all this stuff that's totally new to me." She took a deep breath. James felt his heart reach out to her.

"I can't even remember my own mum and dad." She said miserably, another tear rolling down her face. "I don't know their voices, their faces, it's like I don't even have parents."

James nodded, understanding what that felt like, for he had lost a father himself. "James. Look at me, please." Lily said when James uncomfortably looked away.

"I want to remember. I want to remember how I once was, my family...I want to remember you, James."

She began to get closer, but James moved away slightly. "You don't want to remember me." He said quietly.

Lily frowned. "Why not?"

"Because!" James said, suddenly angry. "I was a jerk to you! I was always hard on you, I was mean to you! You really don't want to remember that."

Lily slowly reached up until her hand touched his cheek. She turned his face to hers. "You're not like that now." She said. "And now is all I have to go by."

They stared at each other for endless minutes, staring into each others' eyes, searching the crevices of the other's soul. Finally James could take it no longer and closed the distance between them.

He was very hesitant in his actions, slowly moving his lips over hers, waiting for her to give him any sign of approval or dislike. To his (immense) surprise, Lily put her other hand on the back of his head and deepened the kiss, passion moving like fire between them. James had just wrapped his arms around Lily's waist when she heard a voice.

"Evans, I'm Head Boy. Deal with it."

That sounded familiar...

"I mean, I have no idea how much I can take! He just needs to grow up! Sure, he hasn't pulled a prank on anyone since sixth year, but he's still the same immature, childish, womanizing James Potter!"

Now THAT was VERY familiar...

"Wait! How did you know my middle name?"

"Girls talk."

Waidamannit.

"Lily! Watch out!"

Darkness.

It was in that moment that Lily remembered.

Her eyes shot open in a blur of green and she pulled away from James quickly as if scorched. His eyes were still closed, and his lips were slightly pursed; he looked frozen in time, like he was trying to preserve this moment forever. He opened his eyes.

"Lily?" He said, a confused look etched into his features. Lily gave him a look of malice and frost that made James inwardly shudder. "Lily...what...?"

And when he looked directly into the deep recesses of her eyes, he saw something that made his blood run cold and his very being screaming down the corridors.

Recognition.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well I spent HOURS on this chapter; I hope it's satisfactory for you. I don't know if I left you at what you'd call a cliff-hanger, but I hope that in some way, shape, or form I kept you on the edge of your seat! Love you all, thanks for all the reviews, ya'll are the BEST! HAPPY (late) NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 2004=ROCK THE SOX

Have no idea what just happened there.