Ever Wonder

By Kate Malfoy

Summary: Ever wonder how James and Lily ended up getting together. They hated each other and yet they got married. Here is the story.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this story out of the perspective of Lily's best friend.

Ever wonder how Lily Evans became Lily Potter? I mean, obviously they got married, but why? They hated each other. Here is the story of Lily and James as I saw it, what Lily told me and what I saw when they didn't know I was listening.

It all started before they ever came to Hogwarts, even before they were born. Lily's mother, Elizabeth Rose Evans (Rose was her maiden name) was a daughter of a witch. She married a muggle, with absolutely no magical blood, and gave up the lifestyle of the wizarding world. She hoped that all of her children would go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was custom in those days in the wizarding world to betroth you children. Petunia, the oldest, was betrothed to Michael Nottingham but when it turned out that Petunia didn't have any magic, the betrothal was canceled. Lily was betrothed to one James Potter and Lily was magical.

I see the understanding in your eyes. You now know why they married, it was forced, but that wasn't the whole of the story.

Lily got accepted into Hogwarts and her family was so happy, I mean, that meant that the marriage to James was going to happen. They through a mini party and Petunia got so jealous. Lily and Petunia had never been the best of friends, but they had a secret to hide from their friends and that secret made the girls friends. When Lily got accepted, Petunia hated her sister. Petunia hated Lily so much that it broke Lily into a thousand little pieces. Petunia is the reason that Lily hated James for so long, well one of the many reasons.

You see, when Lily became magical, or at least found out she was a witch, she stayed betrothed to James. Lily thought that part of the reason the Petunia suddenly hated Lily was because she was going to be in a magical family, with a magical husband. To avenge her jealous sister, Lily hated James. Lily made her own life hell so that Petunia would feel happy. She made a valiant attempt to gain back the little relationship that she and Petunia had had.

Lily also hated James because he was an arrogant son of a bitch. He treated Lily like she wasn't worth a ropers kiss. He treated everyone else around him, except for the other Maurders, the same way. Lily tried to stand up for a lot of the people that James treated badly, but in the end it was only worse for Lily. It would have been better if she had just stood by and watched.

Lily protected Severus Snape the most, well besides me of course, and that angered James. I think it made his jealous. In a way, James knew that he treated Lily like shit and he didn't want to lose her so he got jealous and mean to anyone that Lily paid more attention to then him, which was everyone. Lily tried to find happiness in the life of Snape, and that angered James more then anything else. She stood up for him to James, and James would wait.

James waited until they got up to the common room. James would then order Lily to stay downstairs until everyone else was in bed. I would pretend to be asleep on the couch or something similar to that. Then it would all happen. James would yell at Lily and make her cry. He called her a 'two knut whore' and he would hit her. He would leave bruises on her arms and scars on her breasts and stomach. Lily was scarred, both inside and out. James would yell at Lily that she embarrassed him again today. How she should honor him, not lower him. 'She was his fiancé for Christ's sake.'

I was hurt when I heard that. Lily had never told me that she was engaged to James Potter. I would later corner her about it and she admitted all, but I never knew until then.

James and Lily continued to hate each other right on up until seventh year, and that is when the terrible thing happened. That is when Lily got raped, and she and James fell in love.

It was winter and Lily was going to the ball with James, even though they hated each other. After a while of being in each other's company, Lily decided to get some fresh air. I would have gone with her but I didn't want to leave my date, Remeus Lupin, alone. Actually, since I am telling the truth here, I didn't want to leave the Maurders alone. Heaven only knows what would have happened.

Lily stayed outside for a long time and I began to get worried about her. That is when I noticed for the first time that James did not have the normal twinkle in his eyes. As a matter of fact, he looked almost worried. He glanced down at his watch. "She has been gone for almost an hour. What in the hell could she being doing?" Behind James' supposed anger that his date had ditched him, I could see genuine worry.

James got up abruptly and said, "I am going to go look for her. Claire, stay here and wait incase she comes back. Peter, run up to the common room and see if she is still there. Sirius, go find Lily a jacket or something. Remeus, stay with Claire." That was the orders that James gave out. I knew that James expected to find her out in the gardens, and I knew when he did he would probably yell at her and make her cry. I knew all of that but I couldn't stand up for my friend and go with James. I didn't want to get in trouble with James either.

Remeus and I sat at the table and made small talk, waiting for everyone to come back. We waited for half an hour and I began to get worried about my friend. James could be pretty nasty if he got mad enough. We waited five more minutes before James came in. Sirius obviously felt the same I did about what James would do it he got mad and went to the garden to find them, since he came in with James.

That is when I noticed that Lily wasn't trailing James like I expected her to be, trying to be unnoticed lest she get in trouble with him. James was carrying Lily, and he looked pissed. I hoped that James hadn't done something that had hurt Lily and now he was mad that she hadn't been able to take it.

I looked at Sirius hoping to figure something out and I did. Sirius had Snape bound and was carrying him through the air. It looked like Snape had got hit with several curses. I wondered how Snape had gotten involved. Had he come across James when he was yelling and hitting Lily, or had Lily been defending Snape when the slimy git came across the unhappy couple.

I got up and ran towards James and Lily. I was ready to kill James, but not while he held my best friend. I got up to him and demanded, "James Potter what have you done to Lily? You better tell me right now or I swear to god I will kill you."

I was so angry, but then again, so was James. I didn't see what right he had to be angry at the time, I mean, he had just injured my best friend. I looked down at Lily and saw that her dress was ripped at several places. She was bleeding in at least fifty different areas. How could James have done this, I wondered.

"Claire, shut the fuck up. You don't know what happened so just shut up. And don't blame me for things that thing is responsible for doing." James said all of this with deep hatred and anger.

"Don't you dare call Lily a thing. She is a person, and I might remind you that you are engaged to be married to that 'thing' as you called her." I had no idea that he wasn't referring to Lily.

"I won't even ask how you know about the arrangement between Lily and myself. And I wasn't referring to Lily, I was referring to that greasy no good slime ball that Sirius has bound." James said angrily.

Just then Professor Dumbledoor walked over, obviously thinking that James had done something to Lily. "James Potter, what have you done to miss Evans? You are Head Boy and should be setting a good example."

"For Christ's sake, I didn't do anything to Lily. That thing raped her. I was looking for Lily, who happens to be my fiancé, when I came across her trying to get that thing away from her and he was raping her." James said in anger.

I won't bore you with the rest of what happened that night. I will just tell you that for the first time in all my time in Hogwarts, I saw something that amazed me. I saw love, hurt, and anger all in James Potters eyes. All that, and not an ounce of sparkle. I knew then that James Potter had fallen in love with little Lily Evans. I knew that no matter how hard she resisted, Lily would fall in love too. Once James decided to do something, he didn't give up.

James was determined that Lily would fall in love with him someday soon. He was determined to never let harm come to her in any form again. He swore to never hurt her again, and he swore that he would make Snape's life hell. James stayed at Lily's bedside all that night. He didn't let Lily out of his sight all of that Christmas break. He slept in a chair beside Lily's bed every night. He was at Lily's beak and call. Every whim that came her way, James made sure was fulfilled.

Then terrible news came. Lily was pregnant. James had never touched Lily in that way, and Lily was a virgin until Snape raped her. Everyone knew who the father of the baby was. Lily cried and cried when she found out. James wasn't quit so protective of her these days (he let her go to the bathroom by herself and talk to me with out listening. He even slept in his own bed). Lily went to the bathroom one day and was thinking that it was odd that her period hadn't started yet. She was trying to remember when her last on had been. Then it dawned on her, or so she told me, it had been three months. She confided in me that she had been gaining weight, even though she was eating less.

Lily and I went to see the nurse (Mrs. Laffee) to take the potion that would show if she was pregnant or not. The result was positive. Lily thanked god that she had managed to talk James into staying in the common room (she told him that she need to go and see if she had cancer and she didn't want him there for that). Lily and James had argued long over whether or not he would come, but finally she had won.

Lily and I walked back to the common room while trying to decide whether or not to tell James now. I guess Lily must have looked worried, or guilty, or both, because when we walked into the common room, James took one look at Lily and demanded to know what was wrong. Lily broke. She told him that she was pregnant with Snape's child.

Then James broke. He got angry; you could tell he had to hit something. He backed away from Lily, determined not to hit her. He accioed a pillow and transfigured it into a look alike of Snape, except punch bag style, and proceeded to hit it. Lily was worried about James. Over the past three months Lily had come to love James. She didn't love him as much as he loved her, but it hurt like hell to watch Lily hurt at James' hurt. I couldn't hold Lily though. If I did, Lily would start to cry and James might hit her to get her to stop. Suddenly James swept past me and Lily, out of the common room. The rest of the Maurders followed, begging him to not kill Snape.

James came back, alone, an hour later, and found Lily and I sitting on the couch. "Come Lily, lets go for a walk and talk for a bit." James demanded gently when he reached us.

Later Lily told me that he took her to Professor Dumbledoor's and then Snape was summoned. Lily told me how she had to tell Snape that she was pregnant with his child. She cried.

James walked in while Lily was crying. I saw him and was worried, but only for a moment. James walked over and picked Lily up, he sat down with her on his lap and held her while she cried for all that she was worth. James smoothed her hair and whispered reassuring words. He told her that he loved her and that it wouldn't change because she was pregnant. He ordered her to stop thinking about Snape (it was the first time in three months that he actually said the git name). He promised her that they would get married right after Hogwarts and nobody would ever know that the baby was not his child. He swore that he would raise that child like he would raise the rest of the children that they had and would love it to the best of his ability. He pledged her, on his life, that he would never leave her and love her the rest of their life.

I sat and watched while James tried to make Lily settle down. I watched and realized for the first time that the impossible can happen. I always thought that James would hurt Lily if she broke, but he stayed a strong steady shoulder she could lean on.

It no longer mattered that Lily's happiness with James would destroy any chance Lily had with her sister. Petunia no longer spoke to Lily so it didn't matter.

The rest of that year rolled by. Lily got bigger and bigger. Nobody outside of our small circle, and Snape, ever knew that the baby wasn't James'. Snape was too ashamed to tell anyone, and James had promised Lily that no one would ever know. It was fun to watch James pamper Lily and to worry so much. Lily and James shared a bed, not that they did anything. They swore that their first time would be on their wedding night.

Before we all knew it, school was over and Lily and James married. One night I got an important message from Sirius. Lily was going into labor and I needed to hurry to the hospital. I got dressed and went as fast as I could.

I waited and tried to calm an anxious James down (to think he used to hate her). Soon a doctor came out and announced that Lily had given birth to a beautiful redheaded baby girl. At least the hair took after the mother's, was my only thought. They named they baby Cassandra Marie Potter.

The baby only lived for a month. One day she was there, the next day, she wasn't. The house had been broken into and the baby killed, all while Lily was taking a nap. Lily died that day. Not literally, but it was almost as if a part of her had died with the baby. James tried to comfort his distraught wife.

Two years later, Lily was barely healed, and pregnant again. This time it was James' baby that she carried. She gave birth to Harry James Potter.

The joy Lily had with Harry was only to be short lived though. A year later, the house was broken into again, and Lily and James died. Harry Potter became the boy that lived. And Lily became nothing more then a memory.

I miss my best friend and her husband a lot. It always makes me happy when I think of how Lily and James fell in love. It also makes me sad. Snape got away with it because Lily didn't want anyone to know. Lily Potter was both the luckiest and the worse off women that I have ever known.