In the dim lighting of her quarters she could barley make out the form that stood at her doorway, but when the person would not enter, she knew it wasn't him. Disgruntled, she placed her hand under her chin, leaned forward and called "You can come in… I won't bite, I promise…" There was a chuckle, a man's and her heart jumped for just a moment, but she knew it wasn't him. He was on shore leave, with Seven. "I don't know…" the voice called "I've heard otherwise!" She knew that voice! "Mark!" she jumped up from the couch and nearly knocked him to the ground, grabbing him into a fierce embrace. "My God!" she couldn't wipe the crooked grin off her face, and he too looked rather elated. "Kathryn, it's wonderful to see you, it truly has been too long…" As joyous as she was, she also found herself rather perplexed at the sight of her ex-fiancé… He kissed her cheek and she struggled to keep herself from muttering her first officer's name… Mark continued to talk, but Kathryn's thoughts just wandered to Chakotay and Voyager, to Sandrine's and Talent Night… all circulating around in her mind.
Mark knew she was distracted, he could tell she was miles away. Her eyes were glazed in a dreamy way, and he knew right then, when a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, that she was not thinking of him. Never of him, but of another. He felt a slight twang of jealously, sure he was married, but Kathryn, she was the one he truly wanted… but clearly, she had found another, and he had stolen her heart. Mark knew that… He shook her gently, and startled her.
"Kathryn, what's his name?" She looked at Mark in a quizzical manner, but she knew that he had noticed her loss of attention. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, I believe you know Captain… you just looked a million light years away and your lips quirked into that silly little half smile… you've got it bad Janeway, now out with it…" She smiled at him, remembering all the good times they had shared.
"Well, it's a long story, so sit down, and I'll tell you. Do you want a drink?"
"Tea please…" She was lost in thought again, at the simple mention of Chakotay's favorite drink. Standing still in the middle of the room, she was brought back to reality by Mark's voice. "You're doing it again Kathryn!" She chuckled and proceeded toward the couch and started her story from the very beginning, The Caretaker.
Mark listened intently to Kathryn's details of her adventures in the Delta Quadrant, and to his surprise, she seemed to be able to remember every detail, especially concerning her first officer. She seemed to mention him more than anyone else, and when she did, her fingers usually touched her lips, ever so gently. He knew that was the man she was in love with; she blushed ever so slightly when she recounted certain parties. A Hawaiian party in particular stuck in his mind, because Kathryn flushed a deep shade of red when she mentioned him… If he saw how much she loved him, in just this conversation, he wondered just how blind that Chak-something was. Kathryn was obviously nuts for him. Just as she neared the end of her stories, Mark could see that her eyes had begun to water and her voice fell to a whisper. He barely heard what she said but could make out some words. "Dream, Seven, Admiral, dead, Chakotay" was about all he got before she began to sob. He put his arms around her as she sobbed the name of her first officer over and over.
Kathryn knew her barriers had finally fallen, her mind had been ready to accept Chakotay, and now he was gone. Forever.