Let's take another fast forward! Yay! Fast forwards are so wonderful. Let's push it forward by… 3 years!
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CHAPTER 13 : Penance
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Boromir trudged back to his room, tired out from the long day. He had awakened earlier than usual, and had not been able to get back to sleep. The day had not been a particularly eventful one, but it was very taxing nonetheless. He opened his door, glad to finally be able to get some rest.
"Hello, Boromir."
He jumped at the voice and then noticed Faramir sitting on his bed, grinning at him. "Faramir! I had not expected you to be back from Osgiliath."
"You forget, Boromir, I come back to Minas Tirith once a month."
"Time passes by so quickly, I did not notice that one month had passed."
Faramir picked up the book Boromir had left on his desk. "You've been doing some reading, I see," he said with a smile. "It's nice to read, isn't it?"
"Of course it is, little brother. I might be a military man, but I'm not completely illiterate, you know," Boromir said dryly. Faramir laughed and nodded his agreement. "So, brother, I assume that you've seen Aislin?"
"As soon as I was done reporting to Father. She's doing really well, I see. She has earned great respect among the others working with her." Faramir frowned. "Boromir, don't you ever talk to Aislin? She always says that the both of you had not spoken or spent time together for a very long time."
Try two and a half years, Boromir thought bitterly. He and Aislin had begun avoiding each other until it became such a habit that they really did not see each other anymore. But that did not mean that she had faded from his thoughts. No… she still haunted his thoughts, and whenever he closed his eyes at night he would see her face. He forced himself to say something to Faramir instead of drifting off in his own thoughts. "No, we haven't spent any time at all with each other for a very long time. I'm very busy with duties, and she's very busy with her work. There really isn't much time to meet up and spend time together. Anyway, she only takes days off when you're around, doesn't she?"
Faramir's grin showed him that it was so, and Boromir had to grit his teeth to prevent himself from turning green with envy.
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Aislin stared out of the window, looking up at the moon. She wondered idly if Boromir was looking at the moon as well. Such thoughts entered her mind often, and she had long given up trying to push them away. I am faithful to Faramir physically, but I cannot help it when my mind drifts somewhere else. She knew that it was wrong to think in that way, but there was no way that she could deceive herself anymore. She had thought that she would tell Faramir the truth, let him down lightly, and then no one would be hurt, but that thought had melted away the moment she saw his smiling face, and saw how much he had missed her. There was no way she could let him down lightly, no way that she could tell him the truth without hurting him. And he didn't deserve it, didn't deserve to be hurt this much, not when he was so devoted to her.
I have brought things too far, and now everyone must suffer. It is all my fault.
She sighed. She was held in high regard among the other workers, and Marian treated her as an equal now instead of a child. She was earning her own keep and taking care of herself very well, with a nice amount of savings that would do her good in her old age. She had everything that she could want: work, respect, friends, independence… but she still could not take her mind off the one she loved.
How could things have gone so horribly wrong?
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Faramir returned to his room after a long talk with Boromir. They had shared amusing stories about the soldiers and Boromir had also given him some advice. But he noticed that his elder brother had carefully avoided talking about Aislin. What was going on between the two of them?
Faramir felt guilty for being pleased with the circumstances. If Boromir and Aislin do not spend time together, there will be no chance that Aislin will be taken from me. He should not have thought this way, should not have taken pleasure out of this. What kind of brother was he? Boromir tried to hide it, but he could see that his brother was troubled by this situation.
He sighed. He wanted to help his brother, to release his brother from all these troubles, but at the same time, he wanted to keep Aislin to himself. He loved her, even though his father would never consent to their marriage. He did not want to think about losing her. And seeing her with Boromir… that would be too painful. But imagine how Boromir feels about this…
He put out the lamp, and let the room plunge into darkness. He never liked the dark, never liked the claustrophobia he got from being in the dark. But this time he just closed his eyes, letting everything close in around him. He was selfish; he did not deserve to feel comfortable.
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Boromir groaned and pulled the blanket over his head, as if that would help him get some sleep. He was tired, so tired, but no sleep would come. It was going to be a very long night, with visions and thoughts tormenting him all the way; he could already feel it creeping up on him.
How many times had this happened in the past three years? How often had he had sleepless nights? One day he would surely lose his mind. But perhaps he deserved it.
