I have made many choices in my lifetime. Some that were really bad, some that just make me shake my head, wondering what I was thinking, and others I would not change for anything. I will focus on the latter.

I chose to apply and attend Harvard for my career training. I chose the field of forensics, but only after making the single most important choice I have ever made.

I chose to attend a lecture given by renowned Entomologist, Dr, Gil Grissom. I had never heard of him before, but was truly glad that I decided to attend, for if I had not, I would most likely not be the woman I am today.

After the lecture, we began to see eachother out of the classroom. We would meet either at the local diner or his place or my place. We would sit up nights, talking forensics and "bug talk". Sometimes we would forgo the educational and attend sporting events and cultural events. It was during a baseball game that I first realized that I had some serious feelings for him. Tom Seaver had just hit a home run and as Gil jumped out of his seat to cheer, he accidentally spilled his beer in my lap, not noticing until he sat back down. He apologized profusely and bought me a pair of Boston Red Sox training pants at one of the souvenir stands. He was completely repentant of his neglect. I kept telling him it was no big deal, but he would not let up. It was cool that night, and as we walked back to my apartment, he took off his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders.

It was this small series of events that made me realize that I loved this man, that he had captured my heart and it would forever be his. His time at Harvard had ended and he returned home, to Las Vegas. Immediately after his departure, I felt an emptiness in my life. For the longest time I could not figure out why I was so down. I chose to bury myself in my school work. This went on until I graduated.

Just before graduation, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had a job offer in San Fransisco, at the Crime Lab. I wondered how they got my name, and for a while, secretly suspected Grissom of having a hand in it. I still think he put in a word for me.

A short while after I moved back west, I got a letter from Grissom stating that he was coming my way and wanted to see me. He came out and stayed with me at my place for a week. We had a great time and reminisced about old times. When he left, I felt the same emptiness that I had felt when he left Harvard. I slipped back into my old pattern of work, work, work. I worked at work and when I came home, I brought my work with me. I started having sleeping problems, so I bought a police scanner and sat up, listening to the calls go out.

One day, out of the blue, Grissom asked me to move out to Vegas and join his team. I moved out there solely to be near him. Being around him was like being high all the time; his presence was my drug and he was my dealer. Just standing in the same room as him was intoxicating. I would watch the way he moved and handled evidence. He was so careful. It was hard to believe that hands as big and strong as his, could be so gentle and tender.

One night after a lab accident, I had a shock to my system and decided to throw caution to the wind and ask him out. I was not expecting the response I got. He turned me down flat. I was upset and told him that by the time he figured out what he wanted to do with his life, it might be too late for us. After that night, I sank deeper into my work and began to shut people out.

Years later, three years, to be exact, he finally figured out what he was going to do. However, he was too late. I had already filled out my resignation form and submitted it to Supervisor Cavallo. Some part of me thought it would be a bad idea to give it to Grissom, I thought he might do something rash, like tear it up or something.

It was the night before I was to return to Frisco, that he showed up at my front door. I was packing the last of my bags and I heard a rather loud banging on the door. I answered it and upon opening the door, I saw him standing there. He looked as if he had been crying, his face was red and flushed. I was upset and did not want to see him, but at the same time, I did not want to kick him while he was down. He had obviously done some heavy thinking and far be it from me to deny him the opportunity to explain himself.

He came in and sat on my couch. I gave him a glass of water and after taking a sip, he spilled. He told me that he was confused, couldn't understand why I would want to "leave him". I pointed out to him that we were not together, thusly, I was not leaving him. He continued and told me that he had done a lot of soul searching, and finally realized that he didn't want to live his life without me in it. He said he loved me and that he would do anything to keep me there with him. I was surprised at the level of emotion coming from him. I looked into his eyes and saw the complete and total sincerity in them. He was being honest with me about his feelings for the first time. All it took was for me to resign, for him to come to his senses. He finally lifted his head and looked right at me and said, "I love you, Sara." My heart leapt at these words coming from his lips.

After he had composed himself somewhat, we began talking about where we wanted things to go from there. I was about to tell him that we should start slow, at a comfortable pace for him, when he kissed me. He just placed his hands on my face and kissed me, on the lips, rather passionately, I might add. The kiss led to the inevitable and we soon became an item.

We dated for a while, and then one day I found out that I was pregnant. I was a bit apprehensive about telling him, I thought it might shock him, but I was wrong. When I told him, he seemed happy beyond words. He scooped me up in his arms and spun me around in circles, until we fell to the ground. He said that it was the happiest moment of his adult life. He was going to be a father and I was going to have his child.

One day, shortly after I told him I was pregnant, he surprised me again. I was working at the evidence table, at the lab, when he came in the room. He said he had a piece of evidence that he wanted me to examine. He handed me a small plastic evidence bag and I broke the seal. It was a ring, studded with Black Opal, from Australia. He said that there was an engraving that he could not make it out, and would I please look at it under the scope. I took the ring in my hand and placed it beneath the lens, and as I read the engraving to myself, it suddenly hit me. The words:

"I Love You, I Always Have. Marry Me?"

I looked up at him and a single tear escaped my eye and he wiped it away with his strong hand. I jumped off my stool and wrapped my arms around his neck, whispering in his ear,

"Yes."
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I choose to love the man that had captured my heart all those years ago. I choose to live with him. I choose to have a family with him. I choose to let him love me in his own special way. I choose life. I choose love. I choose Dr. Gil Grissom as my husband and lover for life.

The End.