Author's Notice: This was written as I listened to "Have You Ever" by Brandy so the tone is, you know, go fig. :) It's really...not that angsty, which is disappointing for me. Haha. It's Lucius/Narcissa (with some Lucius/Lily as background) and it's kind of a diff. take on everything. This little ficlet thingy kinda accents a turning point in their relationship, Lucius confirms that he has been cheating on Narcissa, Narcissa forgives him. And they move past it :) And the ending is kinda a follow-up thingy to tie it up in a nice package. And then the REAL ending, the little dialogue excerpt of them in their third year is just kinda cute and kiddish and I think it's lovely. I didn't like ending it on the: 'They lived in Malfoy Manor and although the house was large they were never lonely' note. So yeah, it's cool.
"I'm just sick of the lies, Lucius."
She was one of the few people who called him by his name 'Lucius.' Lucius Lucius Lucius...please love me.
"There are no lies, Narcissa. I have told you what I've told you and that is the truth. Always the truth."
His voice was so cold, priceless. You couldn't ever mimic it, I couldn't even begin to describe it to you. So it will be described as simply "cold" because I can do no better than that. His voice was so cold, some thought he was already dead. But a little girl knew better...a little girl named Narcissa.
"You didn't tell me about Lily..."
She always preferred to call people by their real names. It was so much more human than 'Evans' or 'Malfoy' or 'Potter'...'Black' 'Lupin' ' That was a very sad story, being without a name as she was to some people. 'That blond bimbo' 'that...' well, they used a lot of other words too.
"...you didn't tell me you loved Lily, Lucius. That you were kissing her."
Which was true, he supposes. He didn't tell her, he never planned on telling her though he never kept it hidden either. Narcissa was such a poor soul, all she wants is someone to love her, he supposes once more, but he can't do that...no, he couldn't. Trying to love someone hurt more than not loving them.
"I told you all I could, Narcissa. I told you as much as possible."
"Whatever."
"'Whatever?'"
There was nothing to say, really. She had known it all along. Oh please, you could tell it in the way Evan's giggled and the way her Lucius gave her that silly smile. Oh so in love, so in love, I wish I was in love with you.
Still am.
"There's nothing to say, is there? Except, of course you're right, you're always right. I should've known it all along, and I did a bit. I always knew...always knew you didn't love me. Why would you love me anyway? God, I'm such a failure. It's never your fault, I'm sick of it always being my fault."
But if you say you're sorry I'll forgive you. She knew when he left her she would be in the common room crying crystal tears that drenched the sofa. And she knew that when he left she would once again be alone.
"I would say I'm sorry..."
...because no one's as tough as you think they are...
"Then say it. Can't you make things better? If I married you I would not be a failure I'd be a Malfoy."
"You'd still be stuck with the same heart, Narcissa..."
Hearts were so fragile back then. If you weren't careful they would break and shatter into a million different pieces. Most people who lived in the seventies had adored the fifties, survived the sixties, and now had been suffering through the majority of the seventies. Hearts were so weak back then. Hers was no exception.
"Unless...unless you made me a new one," she said, fully aware of how young and dead she was at that precise moment. It was the youngest thing she could've ever said to such a brave man. And she was dead too, with blond hair that curled at the ends and eyes that watered when he looked at her. She was dead too, but she wasn't buried. And the one person who can save you is the one person who won't.
"Hand-crafted and all?" He joked quietly, "if I made anyone a heart I would make it so it was unbreakable."
"Unbreakable is a funny word, I think everything's breakable."
"Everything?" He challenged coolly, taking one step towards her as she leaned nonchalantly against the green wall.
"Mostly," she whispered. I know everything about him, she thought, even if he's a mystery. I know everything about him and he's with her, Lily, Lily could have any guy she wanted, and Potter loves her...she's so lucky that someone loves her.
Narcissa was at that moment reminded that she looked so tiny next to the tall Mister.Malfoy. But at seventeen she was not a little girl anymore, and at seventeen she should be having the time of her life. She wasn't, of course. But she should've been.
She had always adored the Slytherin common room. Lonely, yes. Imperfect, no. It lacked imperfection with grandiose high ceilings, jade walls, leather couches and wooden tables carved with initials. It was the main hangout of the Slytherins...of Hogwarts for that matter. If you'd never been in the Slytherin common room, you'd never been anywhere.
"I'm sorry, Narcissa."
She could have jumped as she saw his heart beating profusely and his smirk disappearing, his eyes shaded. She could have jumped. She knew, as well as any of you do, that an apology is just words. But sometimes, words can make you trust again. Love again. Live again. Sometimes words have such an impact on people that they could just jump.
"I've been waiting so long to hear you say that," was all she said as he looked at her and her eyes began to water. Mascara was really not so pretty, especially when the blackness dripped down your face making it look like you were bruised all over. Black mascara and scarlet eyeshadow. Unthinking, she lifted her arm to wipe her nose on her sleeve and then started laughing. He joined in, filling the empty Slytherin common room with his loud, bellowing laughs. We're so alive, I could dance.
"I'm not letting you off easy though..." she began.
But before she could finish he kissed her.
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. It's been such a long time but I'm ready to let you back into my heart.
I suppose some would say that hurt and pain last a very long time in fester in one's heart until one dies. You could say that bitterness never fades, and anger lasts well into the after life. But the truth is...sometimes one moment makes up for everything. Sometimes, in one moment you can forgive one person in a way you never thought possible. The hurt stops. The pain stops. The bitterness stops. And you are left with one thing...love. Love to make the world a better place. Love to brighten up your life. And love, love that allows you to forgive.
This is that moment.
Lily became but a thing of the past. Another of the many girls Lucius has kissed, another of the many girls Lucius had never truly loved. Not like the way he loved Narcissa. Lily was forgotten, and Lily grew up to marry Mister.Potter, the sole love of her life. Lily became pregnant and had a baby named Harry. Sometimes, on cold dreary nights Lily would think of Lucius, usually when James was asleep on the tiny bed made for one, and Harry was in his crib cooing quietly. She missed Lucius like one misses an old friend. Lily had her happily ever-after, however, it was tragically ended on an airy October night, as well as the life of her husband. Lily was now truly a thing of the past.
Narcissa Rita Black eventually opened her heart once more to Lucius. He won her over like he always had, and she was thrilled to be able to have him back in her life. They tied the knot on January 5th, 1977, and her dress was one fit for a Goddess. It was not quite the fairytale Lily had, of course. No one had that and very few deserved that. Lucius and Narcissa struggled for power, and struggled for life. They were, after all, Slytherins. But love can fix everything, and it did. They were blessed with a beautiful baby boy, just as Lily said, they would make perfect children together. They grew old together, and she loved him more than ever. Who ever said childhood romance never lasted? But they were never quite children...
Lucius was patient with the scarred Narcissa. He allowed her to tell her past at her own pace. Lucius, if anyone did, knew about skeletons in the closet. In return, he opened up to her. They were so honest with each other, you would not even believe it. He knew everything about her, and she about him. Everyone's scarred, he once thought, everyone carries things with them. The two grew up, and Lucius missed very little about his childhood. He adored the consistency of adult life, but figured out it was not quite as easy as he thought before. They lived in Malfoy Manor and although the house was large they were never lonely.
"It's just one kiss, Narcissa.
"I'm thirteen."
"Don't tell me you've never been kissed before."
"Nuh-uh."
"You haven't? Well then, you're not the scarlet woman they all make you out to be are you?"
"Of course not!"
"They're just jealous, you know."
"Maybe. Every other girl in our year has been kissed, even the Hufflepuffs, but because I'm Narcissa I get labeled as the scarlet woman. It's not fair."
"It'll never be fair."
"How many girls have you kissed?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"No, really. I won't tell..."
"Zero."
"Zero? Oh God, Lucius, you're kidding me aren't you? You're pathetic too. We can be pathetic together."
"Why don't I just kiss you so neither of us have to be pathetic?"
"I think I'd...be okay with that, as long as you're not going to be like, oh she's such a loser."
"You're not a loser."
"You don't think so?"
"No. You're lovely."
"Oh."
"You are, hasn't anyone ever told you that?"
"Not really."
"Oh."
"I think you're handsome."
"Thank you."
"But there's a catch, see... if you kiss me you aren't allowed to forget about me."
"I'm not? Who are you to be telling me who I can forget and who I can't?"
"The girl you're about ready to kiss, right about...now."
And so he kisses her.
First kisses are so memorable. Etched in one's soul. You're lucky though, if you get to kiss the person you first kissed for the rest of your life. First kisses are so memorable.
"I'll never forget you, Narcissa."
"I'm glad."
The End.
