7:00 AM
Abby laughed when she said that. She just couldn't help it. Abby, adopt a baby? She could never do it. She would make an awful parent. She always thought that. Then again she also thought she would make an awful doctor, but she was okay, learning as she went along. Abby couldn't even believe she was considering this.
She couldn't do this. How could she raise a child. But then again, if the child got into a orphanage, she would never really have a parent. But no, Abby couldn't. But she could, this was a huge things staring her in the face. A huge chance, she may never have a kid of her own...... but.... she just didn't know. ----------------------------- While Abby was checking out some other patients, Carter went back in to check on Faith.
"How are you feeling?
"All right I guess, I mean that epidural really worked, I can't feel a thing.
"That's good. You are progressing in the labor nicely.
"Do you love her?"
"What?
"Dr. Lockhart, do you love her?"
"Um......
"Sorry if it's a sensitive topic, it just seemed so much like you did. Was I wrong?
"I don't know.
"You don't know? You don't know if you love her, or you don't know if it was a sensitive topic." Faith pressed on. Suddenly Carter erupted.
"NO OKAY! I DON'T KNOW IF I LOVE HER. I MEAN I CAN'T LIVE WITH OUT HER. I STOP LOVING HER. I THINK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME. ABOUT THE STUPID MISTAKES I MEAN. BUT SHE DOESN'T EVEN FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME. I WAS THE STUPID ONE, I WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH HER. AND FOR WHAT IN THE END WHAT DID IT GET ME?"
Carter had suddenly started screaming, he didn't know why. He wasn't mad, it just came out.
"I'm sorry, I so sorry I didn't mean to shout."
"I understand.
"How can I even face her, after all I did to her. I left her, got someone else pregnant. There is no way Abby would even forgive me now!
"I think you would be surprised. What do you feel.
"I watch her, and I just feel like crying. Crying for all I left behind. I can't stop loving her, I never did, I never will.
"Have you told her, told her how you felt?
"No.
"You should.
"I can't."
"Why?
"Your coming close to 10 centimeters now, I am going to call someone down from OB to deliver the baby. Then you will have to stay in the ER. You will loose a lot of blood in the delivery, we will try to pump as much blood back, but it may not work. You have many organs we will have to operate on " Carter changed the subject, he didn't want to talk about this. It was to painful.
"You don't have to operate, I don't want you to. I don't want to live. I'd rather die this way, then of him beating me to death.
"He is in jail, he can't touch you.
"He'll get out, come and find me
"No he wont. You will be protected.
"That's what they say. But he will want revenge.
"For what?
"For me putting him in jail. When anything goes wrong in his life, he blames me for it, he says I bad luck.
"So you want to die?
"Well it'll be easier than living.
"What about the baby.
Abby walked back into the trauma room now.
"She is almost ready to deliver, she is almost ten centimeters.
"Okay lemme call OB down." Abby couldn't believe what she was about to say. "Oh and Faith, the answer is yes, if you still want me to, I will."
Abby laughed when she said that. She just couldn't help it. Abby, adopt a baby? She could never do it. She would make an awful parent. She always thought that. Then again she also thought she would make an awful doctor, but she was okay, learning as she went along. Abby couldn't even believe she was considering this.
She couldn't do this. How could she raise a child. But then again, if the child got into a orphanage, she would never really have a parent. But no, Abby couldn't. But she could, this was a huge things staring her in the face. A huge chance, she may never have a kid of her own...... but.... she just didn't know. ----------------------------- While Abby was checking out some other patients, Carter went back in to check on Faith.
"How are you feeling?
"All right I guess, I mean that epidural really worked, I can't feel a thing.
"That's good. You are progressing in the labor nicely.
"Do you love her?"
"What?
"Dr. Lockhart, do you love her?"
"Um......
"Sorry if it's a sensitive topic, it just seemed so much like you did. Was I wrong?
"I don't know.
"You don't know? You don't know if you love her, or you don't know if it was a sensitive topic." Faith pressed on. Suddenly Carter erupted.
"NO OKAY! I DON'T KNOW IF I LOVE HER. I MEAN I CAN'T LIVE WITH OUT HER. I STOP LOVING HER. I THINK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME. ABOUT THE STUPID MISTAKES I MEAN. BUT SHE DOESN'T EVEN FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME. I WAS THE STUPID ONE, I WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH HER. AND FOR WHAT IN THE END WHAT DID IT GET ME?"
Carter had suddenly started screaming, he didn't know why. He wasn't mad, it just came out.
"I'm sorry, I so sorry I didn't mean to shout."
"I understand.
"How can I even face her, after all I did to her. I left her, got someone else pregnant. There is no way Abby would even forgive me now!
"I think you would be surprised. What do you feel.
"I watch her, and I just feel like crying. Crying for all I left behind. I can't stop loving her, I never did, I never will.
"Have you told her, told her how you felt?
"No.
"You should.
"I can't."
"Why?
"Your coming close to 10 centimeters now, I am going to call someone down from OB to deliver the baby. Then you will have to stay in the ER. You will loose a lot of blood in the delivery, we will try to pump as much blood back, but it may not work. You have many organs we will have to operate on " Carter changed the subject, he didn't want to talk about this. It was to painful.
"You don't have to operate, I don't want you to. I don't want to live. I'd rather die this way, then of him beating me to death.
"He is in jail, he can't touch you.
"He'll get out, come and find me
"No he wont. You will be protected.
"That's what they say. But he will want revenge.
"For what?
"For me putting him in jail. When anything goes wrong in his life, he blames me for it, he says I bad luck.
"So you want to die?
"Well it'll be easier than living.
"What about the baby.
Abby walked back into the trauma room now.
"She is almost ready to deliver, she is almost ten centimeters.
"Okay lemme call OB down." Abby couldn't believe what she was about to say. "Oh and Faith, the answer is yes, if you still want me to, I will."