After Danny left, Anna returned the party. She told her parents he wasn't feeling well. Instead of going back to her dorm, she went to her parents' house in Connecticut for the weekend.

Danny woke up in his apartment alone and extremely hung over. The only thing he remembered was that he and Anna argued. As he stood under the shower, he let the hot water clear the cobwebs in his mind. The memories started flooding back….yelling at Anna….seeing her tears…grabbing her and pushing against a wall…watching the fear in her eyes. Danny started to wretch in the shower. He tried to vomit but nothing would come. He hated himself. When he got out of the shower, the first thing he wanted to do was drink. But he couldn't do that. Never again. He had to get her back. He would stop drinking for her. She would be his motivation.

Danny looked for her at her dorm, but Willa said she went to her parents' after the party. He begged Willa to use her car. Anna obviously didn't tell Willa what happened the night before, because Willa gave him her car and directions to Anna's house.

Danny arrived at the huge gated estate. Anna's mother answered the door, and greeted him warmly. She told him how sorry she was that he fell ill, and hoped they could get to know him better. Anna obviously didn't tell her parents either. Her mother showed him where Anna's room was. He knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Danny entered the pink room. It was like something out of the movies. Anna was sitting in a overstuffed chair looking out the window.

"Mom, I told you I wanted to…"

"Your mother told me it was OK if came up," Danny interrupted.

Anna quickly got up and turned around, "Get out."

"Anna, just listen to me OK."

"No. I don't want hear any more excuses. Get out. If you don't get out, I'll scream. I swear I will."

"Baby, I messed up. I know. I'm sorry. Just give me five minutes."

Anna shook her head and whispered, "Why should I?"

"Because you love me, and I love you. I have a problem. I know that. I've been drinking since I was twelve years old. Drinking to forget stuff…"

"It's no excuse for what you did last night. I don't care how hard your childhood was. I've never hurt you, Danny. Not ever. I didn't deserve to be treated like that," Anna stated as her voice quivered. She desperately didn't want him to see her cry.

"I know. It's no excuse." Danny walked closer to her. He could see red marks on her upper arms where he grabbed her. He raked a hand through his hair as he reached out to her, "Did I do that?"

Anna backed away from him and sat down on the window seat, "Yes."

A few tears escaped Danny's eyes, "I will never hurt you ever again. I promise."

Anna just shook her head and looked down.

"Anna, this is it. I'm quitting cold turkey. No more. Just don't leave me." Danny stood directly in front of her and fell to his knees. "Don't give up on me."

Anna had never seen Danny cry. It wasn't even like he was really crying. Tears were just falling from his eyes. She reached out to wipe a few away, and then they embraced.

"Don't make me regret this. This is the last time."

"You won't regret it. I won't let you down. No more drinking, I promise."

Anna returned to school with Danny that day. And just like he promised, Danny quit cold turkey. They went back to their normal routine. For a while, they were a happy couple again. It was Spring and Danny was getting ready to graduate, and studying for the FBI exam.

Danny vowed that Anna would never see him drunk again, but it was getting harder and harder. He'd lay awake in bed at night craving a drink. It was the first thing he thought about in the morning. When he was 18, Danny tried going to AA to quit. It was shortly after he changed his name to his foster parent's last name. He wanted to turn over a new leaf and start college clean and sober. But it didn't last long. Danny felt stupid in the meetings. He didn't think he was like all the other people there. He was different. And Danny didn't understand why he should surrender everything to God. What did God ever do for him? Where was God when his parents died, and his brother went to jail. Where was God when didn't have a single person in the world he could depend on. Danny didn't want to go back to AA.

So, he started to drink again. But this time, he was more careful. Danny waited until Anna fell asleep next to him. She was curled against him with her head on his stomach. He gently moved her over and got out of bed. He hated himself more and more as he watched her sleep before he got dressed and went to a bar across the street. Danny drank the tequila like it was water…one after another. With each drink, he forgot more and more about how awful he felt. After he was there about an hour, a cute brunette waitress sat down next to him.

"My shift just ended. Do you want to buy me a drink?" she asked Danny.

Danny looked at her with hazy eyes, "Sure." Danny motioned to the bartender.

Danny and the waitress drank for another half hour or so. They didn't talk much. And then she asked him, "Do you want to get out here?"

"OK," Danny answered guiltily.

"Your place?"

"No, we can't go to my place," answered Danny.

"I gotta kid at home so we can't go there."

Danny just looked at her suddenly realizing he wasn't sure what her name was. "Come with me," Danny said.

The waitress followed him to the back of the bar, and into the men's restroom. Danny brought her in to one of the stalls.

"You're a real romantic, aren't you?" the waitress teased.

"Do you want to do this or not?"

"Yeah, let's go."

Danny closed his eyes as he kissed her and touched her. He didn't feel anything really. He just tried to forget everything while he buried himself inside of her. After he finished, the waitress pulled his head down and kissed him hard "God, you're good, honey. Call me anytime, OK?" She handed Danny a piece paper, and he nodded.

Danny just stood in the stall after she left. He wanted to die. This is what his life was before he met Anna. Getting drunk, hooking up with a girl, and then never seeing her again. He never thought he would do this again. And he never wanted to do this to the woman he loved.

But Danny kept doing it. Sometimes it was the only thing to get him through the day -- knowing that as soon as she fell asleep he could go out and get drunk. The women he had sex with were just collateral damage. He tried to tell himself that it didn't mean anything. Every morning after he went out., he would immediately get in the shower before Anna woke up. He needed to wash away the stench of alcohol, cheap perfume and sex.

One morning after he'd been going out about a month, Anna woke before he could get back in bed. She was sitting up in bed as he stepped out of the bathroom wearing a towel low around his hips. "Hey , morning. I didn't mean to wake you, baby."

"Where were you? I woke up earlier and you were gone."

"I went for a run," Danny lied. "I just needed to clear my head. I'm sorry I should have told you."

Anna smiled, "It's OK." She got up on her knees, and faced him as he stood in front of her. She kissed him, and ran her hands down his chest and stomach. "Come back to bed. I want you."

Danny smiled as she started to tug on his towel, but he stopped her. "Listen, I want you, too. But, I planned on going to the library this morning to get some studying done. I have a final tomorrow."

Anna looked up at him disappointed. "Danny we haven't…made love...in weeks. Is there something wrong?" Anna asked shyly.

"No. God, there's nothing wrong." Danny took her in his arms. He knew how hard that was for her to say. "I'm just tired from working and studying. After exams are over...things will get back to normal." Danny hated himself more than ever at that moment.

"OK. If I can help you, you would tell me. Right?"

"Of course, baby. Now go back to sleep. It's still early."

After rejecting her like that, Danny felt like a bastard. Something had to change. Even though she didn't know about the drinking or the other women, he had to stop hurting her. So Danny decided he would break up with her. It was the only way. He just had to let her go.

A couple of weeks after Danny made the decision, he graduated from college. Everyone had their whole families there. When they called names, families would get up and cheer. But there was no family to cheer for Danny. The only person there was Anna. After the ceremony finished, she ran into his arms.

"I'm so proud of you," Anna said as Danny held her close knowing this would be one of the last times he would do that.

"Thanks," Danny said quietly.

"I have a surprise for you."

"You didn't have to do anything."

"I know. It's no big deal. Just come with me."

They got in Willa's car and started driving. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. You actually need to close your eyes."

"Anna, I don't like surprises."

"I know, but I do, so indulge me please."

Danny smiled. He loved it when she was like this. Like a little girl in a candy store. So he closed his eyes and played along. Soon enough, he was going to have to break her heart.

They stopped and what sounded to Danny like a valet took the car. "OK…open your eyes."

Danny opened them. They were in front of the Waldorf Astoria. "What are we doing here?"

"We are going to stay here tonight. That's all I can afford, but we are going to get pampered and it will be great."

"Babe, this is too expensive. I don't make enough in a month what it costs to stay here one night."

"OK…listen…my father has this corporate suite thing here so it actually doesn't cost me a penny. I told him that Willa and I were going to use it tonight as an end of the year treat. I don't think he would like me bringing a guy here."

"I don't know…"

"Danny please…things have been so crazy lately, and you've been so distant. Which I totally understand….I just…"

Danny looked at her knowing this would probably be their last night together. He should give her that. He owed her that much at the very least.

Danny nodded, "OK. It sounds really great."

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." Anna threw her arms around him. "I love you so much, Danny Taylor."

Danny just smiled. He couldn't respond.

They spent an incredible night together. Danny made love to her for the first time in weeks. Then he watched her sleep all night curled against him. He was going to miss this the most.

In the morning, they had sex again. Danny didn't want to let go of her. He wished he could just freeze time, and they never had to leave the room.

When they came out of the bedroom, they found that room service brought breakfast.

"Is this the life or what," asked Anna.

"It's pretty great."

They sat down to eat. And then Anna said, "I have one more surprise for you."

"I think you've done quite enough."

"Look under your plate."

Danny looked under his plate. There was a round-trip ticket to Spain. Danny looked up confused, "I don't understand. What is this?"

"My mother wants to take me to Europe this summer. She wants to do the whole tour thing for the whole summer. But I told her I didn't want to spend the whole summer without you. So, this ticket is for you to meet me in Spain for two weeks this summer."

Danny sat in shocked silence, and then finally said, "I can't accept this."

"Yes, you can. It will be amazing. My mother is going to stay behind in Paris. And then she'll join me there later."

Danny stood up from the table. "I'm sorry, but this is too much."

"OK…if it's about the money, then you can pay me back after you start with the FBI."

"I haven't even passed the test yet. I don't know if I even have a job."

"Danny, you are going to pass. You succeed at everything you try. Don't worry about that."

"It doesn't matter. I can't go with you." Danny started toward the door.

"Danny, don't go. I don't understand."

"I can't go because…" Danny couldn't say it.

"Because why?" asked Anna quietly.

Danny looked in her clear blue eyes, and he saw the scared, hurt look he saw that night on her birthday. He had to put an end to this, because he can never tell her the truth.

"I can't go because I don't want to do this anymore."

Anna felt like he slapped her. "Do what?"

"You don't want me, Anna. You need someone who can take care of you. Who can really love you."

"You do take care of me. You do love me."

Danny shook his head, "No, I don't.

"Danny, don't say that. Yes, you do. We've had some rough times, but we are past them now. We belong together. I belong to you." Tears started to stream down Anna's face.

Danny looked down, hating himself for what he was about to say, "I'm over you, Anna. We had some great times, but I never thought it would be forever. I don't want to be with you anymore, I don't want to go to Spain with you, and I don't want to marry you."

Anna could hardly breathe. She didn't understand. "You just made love to me. You looked into my eyes last night while you were inside of me. I could see the love in your eyes. Stop lying. You don't have to go with me to Spain. We don't have to get married. I just want to be with you," she said desperately.

Danny answered, "Last night was just sex for me. I haven't felt anything for you in a long time."

Anna thought about the last few weeks, and how distant he was, but she still couldn't believe it. "Look me in the eyes right now and tell me you don't love me."

Danny looked down at tear-stained face, and summoned all he had to hold back his tears, "I don't love you." He turned around and walked out the door.

Anna ran to the door after him and hit it with her bare hand as she broke down in tears.

Danny stood on the other side listening to her sobs, and wiping his tears from his eyes. It was over.

Danny went to the nearest bar and started drinking. Then he stopped by a liquor store on the way home, and bought a two bottles of tequila. He went on a bender that lasted for days. And there was no one there this time to save him. Part of him just wanted to die. Danny remembered that his brother owned a gun, and left it with Danny several years ago. Danny always meant to get rid of it, but never did. It was buried in a box in the back of his closet. Danny waited until the day he knew Anna left for Europe. He pulled out the gun and loaded it.

Danny kept drinking the tequila trying to summon the courage to pull the trigger. But images kept flashing in his head. Anna's face -- the time she said, "I love you so much Danny Taylor". His college graduation -- his mother would be so proud of him, and his brother wouldn't believe it. Danny worked so hard to change. He remembered Anna saying, "You succeed at everything.." She was right. He kept it all together even though the deck was stacked against him. Danny was letting the bottle beat him. He couldn't understand why. He didn't have any excuses anymore. It used to be he drank because he didn't have anything. But he had someone. Anna believed in him. And he ruined it.

Danny put the gun to his head., and started to sob. He finally cried out, "God help me. Please, I don't want to die." Danny put the gun down as he continued to sob. The tequila bottle fell out of his hand and crashed to the floor.

Danny just laid there for hours. He knew what he had to do. That evening he showered and dressed, and left his apartment. He walked to the building that he passed everyday, and wished for the strength to go in. He walked in the door and went to the last room on the left. A large group of people already assembled. Danny took a seat in the back row. Some one finally got up and welcomed everyone, and asked if there were any new people. Danny raised his hand. "Yes, you in the back row."

Danny stood up, "Hey, my name is Danny, and I….I really need help. I'm an alcoholic, and I don't know how to stop."

The room answered, "Hi, Danny."

He took the first step.

Six Months Later

Danny was about to celebrate his six month birthday in AA. The past six months had been the best and worst of times for Danny. The best because he took the FBI entrance exam and passed on the first try. The he graduated at the top of his FBI training class. Graduating at the top of the class meant he was able to get his first choice of assignments - the New York City - Violent Crimes Task Force. Danny finally felt like he was on the right path, and he belonged there.

It was the worst of times because he didn't have Anna anymore. He heard she returned from Europe, and moved into an apartment. A few times, he watched her from outside her building. But, he would never let her see him. It was also the worst of times, because staying sober was the hardest thing he had ever done. He wanted to drink all the time. Sometimes, he went to meetings twice a day just to stay strong. Danny realized that he wasn't any different from all the people at his meeting. He needed them to stay sober.

As he worked the steps of the program, he came to the step called "Making amends." He was supposed to make a list of all the people he hurt while he was drinking. The only name he knew was Anna's. Of course, there was a long list of women he should probably apologize to for using them, but he couldn't begin to know how to contact them. Anna was the only person he could really make amends with. The only problem is that he was fairly certain she never wanted to see him again. He thought about writing her a letter, but knew that would be cowardly. He knew to truly come clean he would have to tell her everything he did while he was with her. And that would mean hurting her all over again. But maybe it would help explain to her why he walked out on her so abruptly.

So Danny found himself standing in front of her apartment building. He was freezing standing outside on the cold winter night, but he couldn't make his feet move. Finally, he summoned the courage. So he went to the door, and rang the buzzer.

"Yes," Anna voice came over the intercom.

"Hey. It's me. It's Danny. I need to talk to you,"

Danny didn't hear anything for what seemed like a full minute. He was about the ring the buzzer again, but then she said, "I'll be down in a second."

A few minutes later, Anna came down. Danny almost lost all his nerve upon seeing her face. She had what he could only describe as hate-filled eyes.

She walked out the door, and immediately asked, "What do you want?"

Danny replied, "It's freezing out here. I…uh…I need to talk to you about something. Can we go inside?"

"No. We can go to the coffee shop over there."

"We should probably do this in private."

"I don't want to be alone with you."

Danny nodded, "Fine. Let's go to the coffee shop."

Danny found a out of the way table in the coffee shop. He ordered a coffee. She didn't order anything. She could barely look him in the eyes.

Danny didn't want to launch into his speech yet…so he tried to break the ice, "How was your trip?"

Anna then looked at him dead in the eyes, "Did you ask me down here to make small talk? Don't waste my time, Danny."

"Right. I'm sorry. Um…OK…after we broke up….I kind of hit rock bottom. I was drinking a lot, and I was actually so wasted that I almost….it doesn't matter. The point is I had to just give up, you know. Alcohol was controlling my life."

Anna looked confused, "I thought you quit. After my birthday, I thought you were done."

Danny shook his head, " I never really stopped. I just got really good at hiding it from you. Anyway, I finally found the strength to back to AA."

Anna looked confused again, "Back to AA?"

"Yeah, I went before when I was younger, but I just couldn't stick with the program. I just wasn't ready I guess. This time was different though. This time I understood it was my last chance. I had to make a change. I hate how much I hurt you. I said all those things to you at the hotel because I was still drinking. And I thought I would hurt you more if I stayed with you. I know I would have hurt you more."

"So you didn't mean those things?"

"I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you. I did love you. That's why I left."

"Why didn't you ask me for help? I would have helped you.," Anna asked as tears filled her eyes.

"I had to do it on my own. I couldn't disappoint you anymore. The more I hurt you, the more I wanted to drink. But I have it under control - as much as it can be under control. I have my six month birthday coming up in a week. I'd like for you to be there. I have to tell my whole story. You don't have to come, but it's at St. Marks by my apartment, if you want to come."

Anna nodded, "I'll try."

"I have some more good news. I passed the FBI exam, and finished the training. I've been working at the New York field office for the last month. You were right. You believed I could do it."

Anna smiled and hesitantly put her hand on top of Danny's, "Of course, I believed. I'm happy for you."

Danny looked at their intertwined hands and remembered the real reason why he asked her there. He gently pulled his hand away, and said, "Listen, there is something else. A part of the 12- step process is to make amends. To tell the people you hurt that you are sorry, and more importantly to tell them why you are sorry."

"I know you are sorry. I know it was the alcohol, Danny. You aren't that person."

Danny couldn't believe how forgiving she was. She amazed him with her capacity to love. He didn't want to continue, but he knew he had to.

"You're right, it was the alcohol, but it doesn't excuse the things I did. The decisions I made that indirectly or directly hurt you and others."

"I think you lost me, Danny. You are sorry about the drinking, right? You were still drinking when you told me you quit."

"I did other things. I waited until you were asleep, and I would leave. That's when I would drink. The last couple of months we were together that's what I did. When I was drunk, I…uh…I slept with other women."

"What?"

"I don't know why I did it. I just…I was trying to lose myself or something. It wasn't about you."

"It wasn't about me? What does that mean, Danny? Because the last few months we were together all I could think about was what I was doing wrong. Why didn't you want me anymore? Was I not good enough in bed for you?"

"It wasn't that. It wasn't you."

"God, you make me sick. How many were there? Where did you meet them?"

"You don't want to know all that."

"Yes, I think I do. I have the right. I mean you had sex with me that night in the hotel after you screwed all those women. So, who were they?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I met them in bars."

"And then what?"

"Don't…."

"Would you go back to there place? No, I bet not, you probably just took them outside into the alley and screwed them there, right? I mean that's what you were going to do with me when we first met. I should have just let you. Then I wouldn't have wasted my time with you. We could have just had a one-night stand, and then I wouldn't have fallen for your line. If I just would have paid better attention that first night, I would known who you really were."

"You did find out who I really was -- the person I am when I don't drink."

"Right. Well, do you feel better now that you have gotten this off your chest."

Danny sighed. He didn't know what to say.

"Because I gotta tell you, Danny, I don't feel better knowing about it. I doesn't help me. I spent the last six months getting over you. I cried until I didn't have any tears left for you. And now I hear this. So basically what I know now is that you did love me, but just not enough to stay faithful. Lucky me." Anna then stood up and walked out.

One Week Later

Danny nervously told his story to the AA group. He told them everything. As he looked out in the crowd, he felt incredibly alone, but it still felt good to talk about it. It was the best way to let it all go and start fresh. After he finished, several people congratulated him. As he made his way through the crowd, he noticed Anna standing in the back of the room. They made eye contact, and Danny smiled. But then, Anna turned to make a hasty exit.

Danny had to run to catch up with her outside. "Hey, wait."

Anna finally stopped and turned around. Her cheeks were pink from the bitter cold.

"Thanks for coming. It means a lot."

"I'm glad you're getting help, Danny. I knew you didn't have anyone else to come. So…"

"Thank you. Maybe we can go get some coffee or…"

"No. This is it. It's over, Danny. I gave you everything I had….my heart, my soul, my body. None of it was enough for you. And you know what kills me? While I was a Europe, I met this really nice guy. And he liked me, and wanted to be with me. But I couldn't because I still felt like I belonged to you. And now I know that none of that mattered to you."

"That's not true. It did matter. I…"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it. If you truly felt the same connection I felt with you, then you never could have touched someone else, a stranger. Because it's been six months since you left me, and I still can't imagine letting someone else inside of me. I hate that you make me feel like that. I loved you so much. I wanted to give you everything you never had in your life. You blew it."

Anna turned around, and walked away from him.

Back to present

Danny lay awake in his bed thinking about that last time he saw her. He can't really blame her for feeling what she feels. He knew she would never truly trust him again.

Danny realized that sleep was not going to happen so he got up, and went back to the office. Hopefully, today they would find Angela Simpson alive and well, so he could give Anna some good news.