A/N: Thanks for your kind reviews! Has anyone got a number where I can
reach New Line? I tried calling the Greenwood Theater, but the message says
they cannot accept any calls from my telephone number, go figure?
Chapter 2 The Journey Begins
For some reason, I wake early the next morning. I am not an early morning person, so this is surprising. Yes Dear is still snoring contentedly beside me. I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. Through the louvers of the closet, I can see swaying. It is very slight, hardly perceptible, but there.
I rise, going quietly toward the closet, and crack open the door. A pair of piercing blue eyes is looking back at me. They have a desperate quality about them, and coupled with the swaying which is still continuing, it suddenly dawns on me. He never went to the bathroom last night before bedtime.
Putting a finger to my lips, I indicate for him to be quiet, and taking him by the hand, I lead him down the hallway to the front bathroom. I gently push him in front of me, ushering him through the door. As I turn on the light, he jumps back, startled. He's never seen a light that turns on with the flip of a switch before. His urgent need forgotten, he begins to inspect the fixture and bulbs overhead.
As he moves towards the light, he catches a glimpse of himself in the large mirror hanging over the sink. He jumps into a defensive position, as does the elf in the mirror. A standoff ensues. They stare at each other. He begins to relax, as does the elf in the mirror. Softly, his voice says, "I hab nevar sean wader haengin frum a wael befour."
He reaches to touch the reflection, and startles again when he finds it is not liquid, but solid that his fingers meet. His head cocks first to one side, then to the other as he studies this wizardry. He raises an eyebrow. My God, it really DOES run in the family! There is the Thranduil eyebrow, just as I imagined it!
I lean in, interrupting his inspection. I do need to get him out of sight before everyone else gets up. "Legolas," I remind him," did you need to relieve yourself?"
He blushes, turning away from his reflection, and replies, "Yeas. Forgeev me, I hab nevar sean anithang like dis."
I smile at him reassuringly. "There will be many things you have not seen before, I am sure." Not knowing what type of facilities elves use inside the palace, I prepare to give him "the grand toilet tour".
I show him the "great white throne," explaining how males lift up the seat as they use it. I make sure he understands the need to put the seat back in place as he finishes. I show him how to push down the silver handle to make the toilet clean itself.
Just for kicks, I tell him that if you don't replace the seat before you flush, the water will come back UP from the toilet instead of going down. That should make things easier for Little Pip and me.
I leave him there, contemplating his next actions, and go to make sure Yes Dear is getting up for work.
Once Yes Dear is finished dressing and moves up front to the den to read the morning paper and eat his Pop Tart for breakfast, I sneak Legolas back to the closet and get Little Pip up for school. Soon they are both on their way, and I finally have time to ask my questions. Primarily, how are we going to get Legolas back where he belongs?
I invite him out of the closet, and into the kitchen to have a bite of breakfast. This is where my first questions will start. What do I feed him?
As I look through the cabinets for something appropriate to feed a Prince, I notice Legolas is not standing beside me. Glancing around, I discover to my horror that he is kneeling on the floor, almost nose to nose, reaching out to pet my poodle Goliath. Now, mind you, Goliath is 18 years old and weighs maybe 8 pounds, but he is still as fast as a striking cobra and did NOT get the name without due cause. No one, and I mean NO ONE has ever been able to touch Goliath but me. Even then, I have sustained far more bites than I care to remember. And now Legolas (and his nose!) are inches from a fate worse than being flogged by Saruman himself.
Before I can yell a word of warning, he has made contact. His long elven fingers gently glide over the dog's head and down his back in an intimate caress. He is crooning to the dog, and though Goliath is totally deaf at this point, they are making some kind of connection.
I am holding my breath, lightheaded. He rises, and comes into the kitchen to me as if nothing has happened.
I decide to let well enough alone for now, and begin to pull out various things that he might like for breakfast. He ends up tasting a bite of every breakfast cereal in the cabinet, followed by a strawberry filled Pop Tart, and ends up at the kitchen table with a plate bearing 2 slices of toast cut into 4 triangles, each with a different type of jelly on them. I think he might have a sweet tooth.
I hear the little ding-a-ling noise from the computer in the other room that signals me someone is typing a message for me on the Instant Message (IM). Legolas cocks his head to the right, but continues eating his toast and jelly. I excuse myself for a moment, and go to answer the machine. It is my husband, Yes Dear. Remember him?
Yes Dear needs yesterday's copy of the newspaper, and wants me to bring it to him on my way to work. As we type back and forth, I notice Legolas has come to stand in the doorway. I look up at him, and he questions," Due u hab sum kiend of bierd enn hear?"
Processing his strange dialect, I realize he thinks the sound of the IM is some type of new birdcall. It does sound rather like the canary my Aunt had when I was a child. "No, Legolas," I say, motioning for him to come in, " it is not a bird, though it sounds like one! That noise you hear is my husband asking me a question."
He sits on the chair I have pulled up beside me, and watches in fascination as I type words into the keyboard, and they appear on the screen. He is even more fascinated by the words that appear by magic from someone else who is not here. "Iz dis sum kin of palantir?" he asks, concerned.
"No," I reply, giggling. "You will learn many ways of speaking without sending a messenger as you are used to." He just gives me the Thranduil eyebrow again.
Notes to Reviewers
TreeHugger-I saw it 24 times before it left the theater, in 5 different large cities in the state (rubs it in). Had withdrawal symptoms for 5 weeks before my DVD copy arrived. Family was betting on whether or not I would make it the 5 weeks without sedation, but I did! I thought he was a rat because of the glimpse of movement, not the size necessarily. Who would expect Legolas would fall from the screen? Thanks for Beta'ing for me!
Niko-Is your Legolas like mine? Stay tuned so we can compare notes.
Satrious-I have a HUGE handbag. He's very flexible, as you will see later. I'm glad you like his accent, I was worried no one would understand it.
Endomiel-Here's another chapter for you! I hope to have a chapter every couple of days. He stays very busy having many adventures, as you will see.
Maple Evergreen-I'm glad you like it! Hang on for more adventures!
Krisoulette-I hope you did not hurt yourself falling off your chair laughing? You may need to purchase a seatbelt. It gets much worse as the adventures continue!
EntSpinster-He is quite flexible, more so than you would imagine. He is full size, just as in the movie. I wasn't sure folding him up would work, but the Valar must have been with him that day, and has been many times since as you will soon see! I am trying to teach him all the skills he will need to survive in this world until I can figure out how to get him back to his. Wait until you see what happens with the soap and shampoo!
PutterPatty-I love the sad puppy look too! He uses it a lot. I may take you up on the invitation to keep up with him for awhile. Everyone needs a break now and then, as you will see. I tried the cookies and you were right-he loves chocolate chip!
Stay tuned, everybody! Next chapter up this weekend!
Chapter 2 The Journey Begins
For some reason, I wake early the next morning. I am not an early morning person, so this is surprising. Yes Dear is still snoring contentedly beside me. I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. Through the louvers of the closet, I can see swaying. It is very slight, hardly perceptible, but there.
I rise, going quietly toward the closet, and crack open the door. A pair of piercing blue eyes is looking back at me. They have a desperate quality about them, and coupled with the swaying which is still continuing, it suddenly dawns on me. He never went to the bathroom last night before bedtime.
Putting a finger to my lips, I indicate for him to be quiet, and taking him by the hand, I lead him down the hallway to the front bathroom. I gently push him in front of me, ushering him through the door. As I turn on the light, he jumps back, startled. He's never seen a light that turns on with the flip of a switch before. His urgent need forgotten, he begins to inspect the fixture and bulbs overhead.
As he moves towards the light, he catches a glimpse of himself in the large mirror hanging over the sink. He jumps into a defensive position, as does the elf in the mirror. A standoff ensues. They stare at each other. He begins to relax, as does the elf in the mirror. Softly, his voice says, "I hab nevar sean wader haengin frum a wael befour."
He reaches to touch the reflection, and startles again when he finds it is not liquid, but solid that his fingers meet. His head cocks first to one side, then to the other as he studies this wizardry. He raises an eyebrow. My God, it really DOES run in the family! There is the Thranduil eyebrow, just as I imagined it!
I lean in, interrupting his inspection. I do need to get him out of sight before everyone else gets up. "Legolas," I remind him," did you need to relieve yourself?"
He blushes, turning away from his reflection, and replies, "Yeas. Forgeev me, I hab nevar sean anithang like dis."
I smile at him reassuringly. "There will be many things you have not seen before, I am sure." Not knowing what type of facilities elves use inside the palace, I prepare to give him "the grand toilet tour".
I show him the "great white throne," explaining how males lift up the seat as they use it. I make sure he understands the need to put the seat back in place as he finishes. I show him how to push down the silver handle to make the toilet clean itself.
Just for kicks, I tell him that if you don't replace the seat before you flush, the water will come back UP from the toilet instead of going down. That should make things easier for Little Pip and me.
I leave him there, contemplating his next actions, and go to make sure Yes Dear is getting up for work.
Once Yes Dear is finished dressing and moves up front to the den to read the morning paper and eat his Pop Tart for breakfast, I sneak Legolas back to the closet and get Little Pip up for school. Soon they are both on their way, and I finally have time to ask my questions. Primarily, how are we going to get Legolas back where he belongs?
I invite him out of the closet, and into the kitchen to have a bite of breakfast. This is where my first questions will start. What do I feed him?
As I look through the cabinets for something appropriate to feed a Prince, I notice Legolas is not standing beside me. Glancing around, I discover to my horror that he is kneeling on the floor, almost nose to nose, reaching out to pet my poodle Goliath. Now, mind you, Goliath is 18 years old and weighs maybe 8 pounds, but he is still as fast as a striking cobra and did NOT get the name without due cause. No one, and I mean NO ONE has ever been able to touch Goliath but me. Even then, I have sustained far more bites than I care to remember. And now Legolas (and his nose!) are inches from a fate worse than being flogged by Saruman himself.
Before I can yell a word of warning, he has made contact. His long elven fingers gently glide over the dog's head and down his back in an intimate caress. He is crooning to the dog, and though Goliath is totally deaf at this point, they are making some kind of connection.
I am holding my breath, lightheaded. He rises, and comes into the kitchen to me as if nothing has happened.
I decide to let well enough alone for now, and begin to pull out various things that he might like for breakfast. He ends up tasting a bite of every breakfast cereal in the cabinet, followed by a strawberry filled Pop Tart, and ends up at the kitchen table with a plate bearing 2 slices of toast cut into 4 triangles, each with a different type of jelly on them. I think he might have a sweet tooth.
I hear the little ding-a-ling noise from the computer in the other room that signals me someone is typing a message for me on the Instant Message (IM). Legolas cocks his head to the right, but continues eating his toast and jelly. I excuse myself for a moment, and go to answer the machine. It is my husband, Yes Dear. Remember him?
Yes Dear needs yesterday's copy of the newspaper, and wants me to bring it to him on my way to work. As we type back and forth, I notice Legolas has come to stand in the doorway. I look up at him, and he questions," Due u hab sum kiend of bierd enn hear?"
Processing his strange dialect, I realize he thinks the sound of the IM is some type of new birdcall. It does sound rather like the canary my Aunt had when I was a child. "No, Legolas," I say, motioning for him to come in, " it is not a bird, though it sounds like one! That noise you hear is my husband asking me a question."
He sits on the chair I have pulled up beside me, and watches in fascination as I type words into the keyboard, and they appear on the screen. He is even more fascinated by the words that appear by magic from someone else who is not here. "Iz dis sum kin of palantir?" he asks, concerned.
"No," I reply, giggling. "You will learn many ways of speaking without sending a messenger as you are used to." He just gives me the Thranduil eyebrow again.
Notes to Reviewers
TreeHugger-I saw it 24 times before it left the theater, in 5 different large cities in the state (rubs it in). Had withdrawal symptoms for 5 weeks before my DVD copy arrived. Family was betting on whether or not I would make it the 5 weeks without sedation, but I did! I thought he was a rat because of the glimpse of movement, not the size necessarily. Who would expect Legolas would fall from the screen? Thanks for Beta'ing for me!
Niko-Is your Legolas like mine? Stay tuned so we can compare notes.
Satrious-I have a HUGE handbag. He's very flexible, as you will see later. I'm glad you like his accent, I was worried no one would understand it.
Endomiel-Here's another chapter for you! I hope to have a chapter every couple of days. He stays very busy having many adventures, as you will see.
Maple Evergreen-I'm glad you like it! Hang on for more adventures!
Krisoulette-I hope you did not hurt yourself falling off your chair laughing? You may need to purchase a seatbelt. It gets much worse as the adventures continue!
EntSpinster-He is quite flexible, more so than you would imagine. He is full size, just as in the movie. I wasn't sure folding him up would work, but the Valar must have been with him that day, and has been many times since as you will soon see! I am trying to teach him all the skills he will need to survive in this world until I can figure out how to get him back to his. Wait until you see what happens with the soap and shampoo!
PutterPatty-I love the sad puppy look too! He uses it a lot. I may take you up on the invitation to keep up with him for awhile. Everyone needs a break now and then, as you will see. I tried the cookies and you were right-he loves chocolate chip!
Stay tuned, everybody! Next chapter up this weekend!