Title: Rochambeau
Author: the random monkey
Date: 11-16-04
Author's notes: Did the people of the Mist Continent ever find out about the Black Mage Village? Who would have told them, and how? The title comes from the episode of South Park called Mega-Streisand, which is one of my favorites.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"People of Alexandria!" shouted Queen Garnet to the crowd below, "I give you Sir Vivi Ornitier, Knight of Alexandria!"
A modest applause came up from the crowd below as Vivi stepped to the edge of the balcony. He looked down at the mass of people, and was quickly overwhelmed by the combination of two of his greatest fears- crowds and heights. He gulped and stepped back, looking at Garnet behind him, who rushed up.
"Don't be scared," she said, as if sensing the source of his trepidation. "These people respect you."
Vivi wasn't at all sure of that, but he still nodded and whispered a hoarse thanks, before stepping forward again. The crowd stared impatiently up at him.
"P-people of Alexandria!" he called in his most commanding voice, which, needless to say, was not terribly commanding. "I c-come b-b-before you t-to sp-sp-speak of a v-v-ery important m-matter!"
He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. It's not so bad, he told himself. I'm doing something important, and besides, it'll be over with soon...
He opened his eyes. "M-many of you m-may have heard r-rumors of escaped Black M-mages living o-on the O-outer Continent. I am here t-t-to confirm th-those reports."
The crowd murmured below as Vivi continued. "B-but these mages are different! The mages used in the war were... were puppets, who couldn't think for themselves o-or do anything without being told to. But these other mages are different."
The crowd was abuzz by now, all the people talking to all the other people about the crazy things this Black Mage boy was saying.
"U-um... Excuse me!" said Vivi, trying to regain the people's attention. "H-hey! Excuse me!"
Garnet stepped up next to him. "My people, I implore you to listen to all that Sir Vivi has to say before passing judgement." The crowd reluctantly quieted, and Vivi gave Garnet a grateful look before turning back to the assembly.
"The mages on the Outer Continent are different," he continued. "They don't follow orders any more. They're not puppets. They-they... Well, they're a lot like you and me. They live in houses and grow gardens and have friends. They like to go swimming when it's hot, just like the rest of us. A-and they get cold in winter, like us."
The group was murmuring softly again, but this time the chatter had a more accepting tone.
Vivi smiled. "Th-they're just like us. They work during the day, and sleep on beds of animal furs at night. They like spicy food. They like to burn weeds and breathe the smoke. They consider raw flesh to be a delicacy."
A sudden hush fell over the crowd.
"They like to travel to new places. They like to hide in alleys and give candy to children. They like to send anonymous, threatening letters to random people. Just like you or me!"
Garnet rushed up to Vivi. "Vivi, I think that's enou-"
"They like to track wild animals and kill them by ripping open their necks and drinking the blood. They like to kick each other in the crotch and see who falls down first. They're normal people, just like all of us!"
Garnet managed to shove her way in front of Vivi. "Thankyousirvivforthatinformationandthankyouallforcominggoodbye!" she called, then turned around dragging Vivi with her.
"What's wrong?" asked Vivi worriedly, as Garnet pulled him along. "D-did I say something bad?"
Author: the random monkey
Date: 11-16-04
Author's notes: Did the people of the Mist Continent ever find out about the Black Mage Village? Who would have told them, and how? The title comes from the episode of South Park called Mega-Streisand, which is one of my favorites.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"People of Alexandria!" shouted Queen Garnet to the crowd below, "I give you Sir Vivi Ornitier, Knight of Alexandria!"
A modest applause came up from the crowd below as Vivi stepped to the edge of the balcony. He looked down at the mass of people, and was quickly overwhelmed by the combination of two of his greatest fears- crowds and heights. He gulped and stepped back, looking at Garnet behind him, who rushed up.
"Don't be scared," she said, as if sensing the source of his trepidation. "These people respect you."
Vivi wasn't at all sure of that, but he still nodded and whispered a hoarse thanks, before stepping forward again. The crowd stared impatiently up at him.
"P-people of Alexandria!" he called in his most commanding voice, which, needless to say, was not terribly commanding. "I c-come b-b-before you t-to sp-sp-speak of a v-v-ery important m-matter!"
He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. It's not so bad, he told himself. I'm doing something important, and besides, it'll be over with soon...
He opened his eyes. "M-many of you m-may have heard r-rumors of escaped Black M-mages living o-on the O-outer Continent. I am here t-t-to confirm th-those reports."
The crowd murmured below as Vivi continued. "B-but these mages are different! The mages used in the war were... were puppets, who couldn't think for themselves o-or do anything without being told to. But these other mages are different."
The crowd was abuzz by now, all the people talking to all the other people about the crazy things this Black Mage boy was saying.
"U-um... Excuse me!" said Vivi, trying to regain the people's attention. "H-hey! Excuse me!"
Garnet stepped up next to him. "My people, I implore you to listen to all that Sir Vivi has to say before passing judgement." The crowd reluctantly quieted, and Vivi gave Garnet a grateful look before turning back to the assembly.
"The mages on the Outer Continent are different," he continued. "They don't follow orders any more. They're not puppets. They-they... Well, they're a lot like you and me. They live in houses and grow gardens and have friends. They like to go swimming when it's hot, just like the rest of us. A-and they get cold in winter, like us."
The group was murmuring softly again, but this time the chatter had a more accepting tone.
Vivi smiled. "Th-they're just like us. They work during the day, and sleep on beds of animal furs at night. They like spicy food. They like to burn weeds and breathe the smoke. They consider raw flesh to be a delicacy."
A sudden hush fell over the crowd.
"They like to travel to new places. They like to hide in alleys and give candy to children. They like to send anonymous, threatening letters to random people. Just like you or me!"
Garnet rushed up to Vivi. "Vivi, I think that's enou-"
"They like to track wild animals and kill them by ripping open their necks and drinking the blood. They like to kick each other in the crotch and see who falls down first. They're normal people, just like all of us!"
Garnet managed to shove her way in front of Vivi. "Thankyousirvivforthatinformationandthankyouallforcominggoodbye!" she called, then turned around dragging Vivi with her.
"What's wrong?" asked Vivi worriedly, as Garnet pulled him along. "D-did I say something bad?"