A/N: Saes is Elvish for Please. Responses to my beloved reviewers are at
the end of this chapter. No, I have not heard anything from New Line or
Tolkien's estate about when they will be coming to pick him up.
Chapter 4 Ai!, ai!. . .
After a few hours, the Prance of Mirkwood appears in the computer room, looking a little bleary-eyed. He had gotten past the Mines of Moria in The Book, and was none too happy that Tolkien gave him the line, "Ai!, ai!. A Balrog! A Balrog has come!"
"Maekz me saund like a seesy" he grumbled. "An elf wuld NEBER droep heez aroe like dat."
"It's ok, Legolas," I assure him. "Put The Book down for a little while and come look at this." I am typing an e-mail message to my mother, so I let him watch as I press the keys to get the letters I want to make themselves into the words I need. He is fascinated with this form of letter writing.
"Mae I trie dat?" he inquires.
"Sure," I reply, vacating the seat. "My mother would just LOVE to get an e- mail from you. She waits by the computer all day, everyday for an e-mail from me already."
"Reely?" he asks, unbelieving.
"No, Legolas. It was a joke. Here, sit down."
I open a new e-mail and get him started toward the body of the message. He asks, "Hoew due I adraess her?"
"Why don't you call her Grandma like Little Pip does?" I suggest.
He types in, "Deer Grammar Laede,
Ur dawter iz a varie niec hueman. She iz taekin guud kaer of me. Saes excuz miy spaelin. Elvis iz miy naetiv laengwidg, an dis Eangleesh eez a leedle haerd fur mee."
Being a Prince, he is familiar with the writings of the Common tongue, but currently it appears that he reads much better than he spells.
"Whut ealse shuld I sae?" he asks.
"Close with something like 'Love, Legolas'," I say.
He types, "Wid Elbin Lub, Legolas."
"Now you just click on this little box that says 'Send'," I tell him.
He does so, then rises from the chair and goes to the back door, standing in the doorway looking out, waiting patiently.
"Legolas, do you want to type something else?" I call to him. No answer. "Legolas?" I follow him, and look out the glass door to see what it is he is watching so intently.
Seeing nothing unusual, I ask, "What are we looking for?"
"I em luukin fur da maesinjr. Hoew loeng weel he taek tu aribe?"
I suppress my giggle, and explain that there will be no messenger, that the computer takes the message all by itself. He is puzzled by this, but takes it all in stride. Just one more fascinating thing in this world to go with the flushing toilets and Keebler Elf Cookies.
We return to the computer room. I give him a blank page Word document and let him practice typing letters for awhile to keep him entertained. I show him how to use the space bar, and to push enter to go to the next step with things. After a while, I leave him contentedly typing away, making up a poem to fit the notes of the song that he is humming softly to himself. Peck, peck, peck, one little key at a time.
I head outside to bring in the laundry. It is only two loads worth, so I am gone only a couple of minutes. When I return, I hear him talking in the computer room. Thinking he is composing his song and putting things together, I do not interrupt, but stand quietly at the doorway, listening in.
That is when I discover that an instant message has appeared on the computer screen. It is from my husband. It starts out, "Hello!" and I see that Legolas has already answered correspondingly "helo!"
"Having a good day?" Yes Dear asks.
"Yeas" is the answer typed in already.
"Have you been busy?" says Yes Dear.
" I hab bean reedin a buuk," says the answer.
" I didn't know you would have time for that today," Yes Dear teases, knowing my full schedule does not include reading until the evening hours.
"I am immoral. I hab ael da tiem in da wurld," types in the Prance of Mirkwood.
A little laughing smiley face icon appears on the screen, accompanied by a burst of laughter from the computer speaker. Legolas jumps back, almost tipping over in his chair. He is in defensive mode again. He stands poised, ready to take on this new attacker, but nothing happens. Cautiously, he resumes his seat.
"Whoe iz dis?" he types in carefully, as if the keys might bite his fingers.
Playing along, Yes Dear answers, "it's just me."
I hear Legolas say aloud, "me? I em rite hear. Hoew kin dat bea me?" He types in, "Whoe iz me?"
Yes Dear, always the practical joker, continues the game he THINKS he is playing with his wife saying, "me, myself and I."
"Ai, Valar!" I hear Legolas exclaim, " I am taelkin tu..misef!"
He sits and contemplates the computer screen, cocking his head first to the right, then to the left. He tries again, peck-peck-peck, "Whoe iz dis?"
Yes Dear types back, "Who is this?" to which Legolas answers before I can stop him, "dis iz Legolas."
UhhOhh. Busted.
"That is funny, Hunney," Yes Dear replies. "Pretending you are Legolas, imagine that!"
" I em nod Hunney!" types Legolas angrily, " I em Legolas Greenleaf, Prance of Murkwuud. Dere iz noe reezun tu pertind."
The laughing smiley face appears again, and Legolas is out of the chair in a flash. He hesitates, thinking, and that unusual toasted sort of smell is starting to invade the room again. He reclaims the chair once more, and types with his one fingered pecking method, "Anser mi! Whoe iz dis?"
Yes Dear, enjoying the game thoroughly, decides to up the stakes. He answers, "I AM A NAZGÛL."
"Ai! Ai!" Legolas cries, leaping back from the screen, tipping the chair over in the process. "A Naezgool! A Naezgool has come!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Responses to Reviewers:
Hi Mom! I know you are out there, even if you do not review. Stop looking at all that slash, do you hear me?!
TreeHugger-Yes, Glory and Lego can BOTH be the prettiest if we let them use their respected titles. I like that idea! Thanks again for beta'ing for me!
SarWolf Snape-Welcome aboard! Yes, he is quite adorable, which is what saves his hide most of the time as you will see.
Irena-Oh no, a strangled cat?! What an image! But it was the same reaction I had when Legolas and I had this conversation the first time.
Skye Rocket-Hey, I told you I am living this nightmare! It might be insane, but it's not random. At least, I don't think it is . . ..
PuterPatty-Legolas has this ME accent, but I think some of the speech differences could be from the bump on his head. The bruising and swelling went away by the morning (quick Elven healing you know), but I'm not sure what this residual sound is. Since he types that way too, maybe ME schools teach Hooked on Phonics?
Eileen-My spell checker doesn't like this fic at all. Lots of red and green lines-but it looks pretty with all the colors!
Endomiel-I have enjoyed your e-mails. Wow, I'm on the favorite author lists of 2 people! WoooHooo! (Copyright Celeborn)
Stay tuned! More adventures on the way. That makes 4 chapters already, and we haven't even covered the first 24 hours yet! Let me know what you think by clicking on the little submit box below-Legolas reads the reviews and gets really excited to hear from all of you. You all know what happens when he gets excited don't you?
Chapter 4 Ai!, ai!. . .
After a few hours, the Prance of Mirkwood appears in the computer room, looking a little bleary-eyed. He had gotten past the Mines of Moria in The Book, and was none too happy that Tolkien gave him the line, "Ai!, ai!. A Balrog! A Balrog has come!"
"Maekz me saund like a seesy" he grumbled. "An elf wuld NEBER droep heez aroe like dat."
"It's ok, Legolas," I assure him. "Put The Book down for a little while and come look at this." I am typing an e-mail message to my mother, so I let him watch as I press the keys to get the letters I want to make themselves into the words I need. He is fascinated with this form of letter writing.
"Mae I trie dat?" he inquires.
"Sure," I reply, vacating the seat. "My mother would just LOVE to get an e- mail from you. She waits by the computer all day, everyday for an e-mail from me already."
"Reely?" he asks, unbelieving.
"No, Legolas. It was a joke. Here, sit down."
I open a new e-mail and get him started toward the body of the message. He asks, "Hoew due I adraess her?"
"Why don't you call her Grandma like Little Pip does?" I suggest.
He types in, "Deer Grammar Laede,
Ur dawter iz a varie niec hueman. She iz taekin guud kaer of me. Saes excuz miy spaelin. Elvis iz miy naetiv laengwidg, an dis Eangleesh eez a leedle haerd fur mee."
Being a Prince, he is familiar with the writings of the Common tongue, but currently it appears that he reads much better than he spells.
"Whut ealse shuld I sae?" he asks.
"Close with something like 'Love, Legolas'," I say.
He types, "Wid Elbin Lub, Legolas."
"Now you just click on this little box that says 'Send'," I tell him.
He does so, then rises from the chair and goes to the back door, standing in the doorway looking out, waiting patiently.
"Legolas, do you want to type something else?" I call to him. No answer. "Legolas?" I follow him, and look out the glass door to see what it is he is watching so intently.
Seeing nothing unusual, I ask, "What are we looking for?"
"I em luukin fur da maesinjr. Hoew loeng weel he taek tu aribe?"
I suppress my giggle, and explain that there will be no messenger, that the computer takes the message all by itself. He is puzzled by this, but takes it all in stride. Just one more fascinating thing in this world to go with the flushing toilets and Keebler Elf Cookies.
We return to the computer room. I give him a blank page Word document and let him practice typing letters for awhile to keep him entertained. I show him how to use the space bar, and to push enter to go to the next step with things. After a while, I leave him contentedly typing away, making up a poem to fit the notes of the song that he is humming softly to himself. Peck, peck, peck, one little key at a time.
I head outside to bring in the laundry. It is only two loads worth, so I am gone only a couple of minutes. When I return, I hear him talking in the computer room. Thinking he is composing his song and putting things together, I do not interrupt, but stand quietly at the doorway, listening in.
That is when I discover that an instant message has appeared on the computer screen. It is from my husband. It starts out, "Hello!" and I see that Legolas has already answered correspondingly "helo!"
"Having a good day?" Yes Dear asks.
"Yeas" is the answer typed in already.
"Have you been busy?" says Yes Dear.
" I hab bean reedin a buuk," says the answer.
" I didn't know you would have time for that today," Yes Dear teases, knowing my full schedule does not include reading until the evening hours.
"I am immoral. I hab ael da tiem in da wurld," types in the Prance of Mirkwood.
A little laughing smiley face icon appears on the screen, accompanied by a burst of laughter from the computer speaker. Legolas jumps back, almost tipping over in his chair. He is in defensive mode again. He stands poised, ready to take on this new attacker, but nothing happens. Cautiously, he resumes his seat.
"Whoe iz dis?" he types in carefully, as if the keys might bite his fingers.
Playing along, Yes Dear answers, "it's just me."
I hear Legolas say aloud, "me? I em rite hear. Hoew kin dat bea me?" He types in, "Whoe iz me?"
Yes Dear, always the practical joker, continues the game he THINKS he is playing with his wife saying, "me, myself and I."
"Ai, Valar!" I hear Legolas exclaim, " I am taelkin tu..misef!"
He sits and contemplates the computer screen, cocking his head first to the right, then to the left. He tries again, peck-peck-peck, "Whoe iz dis?"
Yes Dear types back, "Who is this?" to which Legolas answers before I can stop him, "dis iz Legolas."
UhhOhh. Busted.
"That is funny, Hunney," Yes Dear replies. "Pretending you are Legolas, imagine that!"
" I em nod Hunney!" types Legolas angrily, " I em Legolas Greenleaf, Prance of Murkwuud. Dere iz noe reezun tu pertind."
The laughing smiley face appears again, and Legolas is out of the chair in a flash. He hesitates, thinking, and that unusual toasted sort of smell is starting to invade the room again. He reclaims the chair once more, and types with his one fingered pecking method, "Anser mi! Whoe iz dis?"
Yes Dear, enjoying the game thoroughly, decides to up the stakes. He answers, "I AM A NAZGÛL."
"Ai! Ai!" Legolas cries, leaping back from the screen, tipping the chair over in the process. "A Naezgool! A Naezgool has come!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Responses to Reviewers:
Hi Mom! I know you are out there, even if you do not review. Stop looking at all that slash, do you hear me?!
TreeHugger-Yes, Glory and Lego can BOTH be the prettiest if we let them use their respected titles. I like that idea! Thanks again for beta'ing for me!
SarWolf Snape-Welcome aboard! Yes, he is quite adorable, which is what saves his hide most of the time as you will see.
Irena-Oh no, a strangled cat?! What an image! But it was the same reaction I had when Legolas and I had this conversation the first time.
Skye Rocket-Hey, I told you I am living this nightmare! It might be insane, but it's not random. At least, I don't think it is . . ..
PuterPatty-Legolas has this ME accent, but I think some of the speech differences could be from the bump on his head. The bruising and swelling went away by the morning (quick Elven healing you know), but I'm not sure what this residual sound is. Since he types that way too, maybe ME schools teach Hooked on Phonics?
Eileen-My spell checker doesn't like this fic at all. Lots of red and green lines-but it looks pretty with all the colors!
Endomiel-I have enjoyed your e-mails. Wow, I'm on the favorite author lists of 2 people! WoooHooo! (Copyright Celeborn)
Stay tuned! More adventures on the way. That makes 4 chapters already, and we haven't even covered the first 24 hours yet! Let me know what you think by clicking on the little submit box below-Legolas reads the reviews and gets really excited to hear from all of you. You all know what happens when he gets excited don't you?