Title: Happily Ever After
Author: the random monkey
Date: 6-3-04 (12:00AM to 12:27AM, a new record in quickness for a crappy fic for me! It would've been even less, but I was also IM'ing my boyfriend.)
Author's Notes: Yeah, I'm in a cynical mood right now. That, plus I thought this would be funny.
You remember that episode of The Simpsons where Bart is in the Bible fighting Sampson, and he loses, so Ralph goes to fight Sampson, then they cut to Ralph's tombstone, then Bart fights him again and is about to be killed, but Ralph saves him, and Bart says, "Ralph! I thought you were dead!" and Ralph says, "Nope!" ?
Yeah, it's kinda like that.
WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!
"How did you come back?" asked Garnet, half sobbing.
"I had to- I made a promise," said Zidane. "So I sang our song."
"Oh, that's so romantic!" said Garnet. "Please, say you'll marry me! Say you'll never leave me!"
"I will, and I won't," said Zidane. They kissed. Everyone cheered.
"Come on," said Garnet finally, leading him offstage. "Come see how everyone's doing."
The whole hee-haw gang had assembled in the castle.
"ZIDAAANE!" screamed Eiko, running up and glomping Zidane. "I'm sooo glad you're back!"
"I'm glad to see you, too, Eiko, but you can't glomp me anymore. I'm getting married!"
"Aw, shucks!" said Eiko. "Well, I guess I'll just have to get the hots for some other guy. Did I tell you Regent Cid and Lady Hilda adopted me?"
"Cool!" said Zidane.
A bunch of small Black Mages were running around shrieking. Vivi was chasing them around.
"Vivi!" said Zidane. "I thought you'd be dead by now!"
"Nope!" said Vivi.
"But what about the one-year lifespan thing?" asked Zidane.
Vivi shruged. "It turns out Kuja was making it up."
"But what about all the mages who died?"
"I dunno. I guess it was fluke."
Zidane loked around. "Where'd all these kids come from?"
"Oh!" said Vivi. "Honey, come here!"
Another Back Mage walked over. "How do you do?" it said in a squeaky voice.
"This is my wife, Mrs. 314!" said Vivi proudly.
"Nice to meet you!" said Zidane, and everyone agreed.
"And you said he'd never get laid!" joked Eiko to Zidane.
"Heh... Hey, how're you, Steiner?" said Zidane.
"I've been great since I had that ass-rod removal surgery!" said Steiner. "Beatrix and I are getting married!"
"Good for you!" said Zidane, and everyone agreed.
"And you said he'd-"
"Freya!" Zidane interrupted. "How are you and Fratley?"
"Well, Sir Fratley regained his memory and fell in love with me again! And we're getting married too!"
"I make many yummy-yummy wedding cakes!" said Quina.
"Wow, seeing all of you so happy has made me decide to take a new lease on life," said Amarant, who'd been leaning against a wall nonchalantly. "I'm going to stop being an asshole, and start a charity fund for kids with birth defects. I'll call it 'Amarant's Kids.'"
"Well, everything turned out great!" said Zidane. "Let's have a big party!"
"Yaaaay!" they all chorused in unison.
"One last thing," said Garnet. "What ever happened to Kuja?"
"Oh, him?" siad Zidane. "He died! He died in my arms!"
"Oh," said Garnet.
owari
Author: the random monkey
Date: 6-3-04 (12:00AM to 12:27AM, a new record in quickness for a crappy fic for me! It would've been even less, but I was also IM'ing my boyfriend.)
Author's Notes: Yeah, I'm in a cynical mood right now. That, plus I thought this would be funny.
You remember that episode of The Simpsons where Bart is in the Bible fighting Sampson, and he loses, so Ralph goes to fight Sampson, then they cut to Ralph's tombstone, then Bart fights him again and is about to be killed, but Ralph saves him, and Bart says, "Ralph! I thought you were dead!" and Ralph says, "Nope!" ?
Yeah, it's kinda like that.
WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!
"How did you come back?" asked Garnet, half sobbing.
"I had to- I made a promise," said Zidane. "So I sang our song."
"Oh, that's so romantic!" said Garnet. "Please, say you'll marry me! Say you'll never leave me!"
"I will, and I won't," said Zidane. They kissed. Everyone cheered.
"Come on," said Garnet finally, leading him offstage. "Come see how everyone's doing."
The whole hee-haw gang had assembled in the castle.
"ZIDAAANE!" screamed Eiko, running up and glomping Zidane. "I'm sooo glad you're back!"
"I'm glad to see you, too, Eiko, but you can't glomp me anymore. I'm getting married!"
"Aw, shucks!" said Eiko. "Well, I guess I'll just have to get the hots for some other guy. Did I tell you Regent Cid and Lady Hilda adopted me?"
"Cool!" said Zidane.
A bunch of small Black Mages were running around shrieking. Vivi was chasing them around.
"Vivi!" said Zidane. "I thought you'd be dead by now!"
"Nope!" said Vivi.
"But what about the one-year lifespan thing?" asked Zidane.
Vivi shruged. "It turns out Kuja was making it up."
"But what about all the mages who died?"
"I dunno. I guess it was fluke."
Zidane loked around. "Where'd all these kids come from?"
"Oh!" said Vivi. "Honey, come here!"
Another Back Mage walked over. "How do you do?" it said in a squeaky voice.
"This is my wife, Mrs. 314!" said Vivi proudly.
"Nice to meet you!" said Zidane, and everyone agreed.
"And you said he'd never get laid!" joked Eiko to Zidane.
"Heh... Hey, how're you, Steiner?" said Zidane.
"I've been great since I had that ass-rod removal surgery!" said Steiner. "Beatrix and I are getting married!"
"Good for you!" said Zidane, and everyone agreed.
"And you said he'd-"
"Freya!" Zidane interrupted. "How are you and Fratley?"
"Well, Sir Fratley regained his memory and fell in love with me again! And we're getting married too!"
"I make many yummy-yummy wedding cakes!" said Quina.
"Wow, seeing all of you so happy has made me decide to take a new lease on life," said Amarant, who'd been leaning against a wall nonchalantly. "I'm going to stop being an asshole, and start a charity fund for kids with birth defects. I'll call it 'Amarant's Kids.'"
"Well, everything turned out great!" said Zidane. "Let's have a big party!"
"Yaaaay!" they all chorused in unison.
"One last thing," said Garnet. "What ever happened to Kuja?"
"Oh, him?" siad Zidane. "He died! He died in my arms!"
"Oh," said Garnet.
owari