Chapter 5 Hiding Things
A/N: Thoughts in 's. References and Notes to reviewers at end of chapter.
It took me an hour to find him. By chance, I happened to get caught in that game cat's play, you know the one where they stare off into space, concentrating intensely, and when you finally look to see what it is they are observing, you realize there is nothing there. Absolutely, positively, nothing there. The cat will always give a little smirk, saying to itself, "Stupid human." Then it will wander off, in search of more intelligent minds to mess with.
I saw Mikey staring above the TV entertainment center. I avoided the game at first. After searching the whole house (I'd spent almost a whole hour already), I happened to fall for it and look toward the ceiling. There he perched, squatting back on his haunches, right up there at ceiling level. He had his bow in hand, arrow nocked and ready. There would be no Nazgûl sneaking undetected into this dwelling today, no siree!
"Legolas, you can come down now," I call up to him. "The Nazgûl is gone."
"Hoew due u noe?" he whispers, still clutching his bow.
"I typed back and told it you were gone. It left and has not come back," I state assuredly, using my most convincing voice. It is the same voice I use when I tell Little Pip she had better give back my favorite fuzzy black shoes for the last time.
Legolas drops soundlessly from his perch, six feet above the ground. He doesn't bounce on the landing, doesn't leave a mark on the carpet. Maybe they can use him on the US Gymnastics Team in the next Olympics I think.
"Thaet thang eez sum kiend of palantir, I noe id," he insists.
"Enough for now, " I gently tell him. "Yes Dear and Little Pip will be coming home soon, so we need to get you something to eat and get you settled back in your closet, ok?"
"Weel u tael dem abot mie toonite?" he inquires. He sounds almost shy when he says it.
"I will, if the time is right," I reply. "But first, let's get you prepared in case tonight does not work out."
He selects the box of Oat Bran Flakes and the package of dried fruit bits from the breakfast food cabinet, and I give him an apple and a banana as well. The apple he is familiar with, but the banana is an entirely different subject.
"An whut, prae tael, due I due wid dis thang?" he asks, eyebrow raised.
"It's a banana, Legolas. You eat it. Don't you have bananas in Middle Earth?" I answer.
"Id luuks like sumethang Haldir wuld uze . . . . nebermind," he turns away, blushing. Ah, the mysteries of elves!
He settles into the bottom corner of the closet, and is contentedly munching away on the bran flakes straight out of the box when I hear the car in the driveway. "I'll check on you later," I tell him, shutting the door.
Yes Dear comes back to the bedroom. I don't have to worry yet, for he gets a T-shirt and shorts from the dresser drawer and puts his work clothes into the laundry hamper, never going near the closet. I am thankful Legolas has the good elven sense to avoid chewing the bran flakes while Yes Dear is in the room.
That's when I notice the rumpled bedcovers and the copy of "The Fellowship of the Ring" in the middle of the bed. At exactly the same time Yes Dear notices the same thing.
"Ah, so you've decided to read it," Yes Dear teases.
"I did read it. Now I'm reading it again," I retort.
"What page are you on?" he inquires, moving toward the bed and picking up The Book before I can get to it.
"Page 204. The Council of Elrond," I snap back.
"I don't think so," says Mr. Tolkien bookverse trivia knowledge contest winner without cracking The Book's cover. "The Council of Elrond doesn't start until page 233 in this particular publisher's print. Page 204 is where Glorfindel arrives riding Asfaloth and finds Strider and the Hobbits on the Road to Rivendell." *
I hear a low growl coming from the closet behind me. Please Legolas, not now, the time is most definitely NOT RIGHT!
"What was that?" Yes Dear asks. "I didn't hear you."
Quick! Think quick! "I said I meant 234. Didn't I say page 234?"
"It sounded like you growled at me," he says.
"My stomach is growling. I'm hungry," I say. "Time for supper, ok?" I make a hasty retreat down the hall, praying Yes Dear will follow me, hoping the growling has ceased.
Thankfully, he follows, and the subject is dropped. At least, for now. I can't keep an elf in my closet forever, can I? Legolas will need to see the stars, and feel the sun on his face. No, it cannot last forever.
Sooner or later, Legolas will have to come out of the closet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank goodness Yes Dear sleeps like the dead. I sneak Legolas out twice for a bathroom break, once last night and again this morning. We have managed to make it almost 36 hours undetected.
After they have gone for the morning, I fix Legolas some toast, covered in strawberry jam, which appears to have won his favor. I leave him at the kitchen table and head for work. "Make yourself at home," I call from the door, "and I'll be back in a couple of hours, ok?"
Around noon, I arrive home, planning to fix peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. Since toast with jelly has been such a success, how could I possibly go wrong with peanut butter and jelly? I open the back door and step into the kitchen. He has managed to put his dirty breakfast paper plate into the garbage can, but the jelly is still on the table. Apparently he has not quite figured out how to open the refrigerator door. I am glad it was only the jelly, and not the milk.
"Legolas?" I call down the hallway. "It's just me. You can come out now."
There is a muffled "Okae," from the master bedroom. When 5 minutes go by and he has not appeared, I wander down the hallway to see what is keeping him.
I hear him talking in a chatty little voice, then answering in his own natural tone. I cannot quite catch the conversation, so I decide to eavesdrop momentarily again.
"Wuld u like sum caek?" he says in the chatty voice. It is quite high- pitched, and very feminine sounding.
"Dat wuld bea kwite niec endeed," he says in his own voice. There is a pause, punctuated with little clicking sounds, and then a deep, "Mmmm, deelishus!"
"Wie, thaenk u!" says the chatty voice.
"ur kwite wekome," says the deeper more natural Legolas voice.
Then another feminine voice joins in. This one is slightly lower toned and I think to myself, surprisingly like Arwen's voice from the movie. "Maehapz I culd poar u a leedle moer whine, Lord Legolas?"
His musical laughter rings throughout the house. "Nae, nae, **nin lirimaer, bud I em jest Legolas, nod a loerd bie eny meenz."
The Arwen voice says, "Shirly u r of sum lien of nobilatie. Ur manerz r impekable."
He laughs again, then answers, "I em da sun of King Thranduil, soe if u muest, u mae kall mie Prance Legolas."
I cannot stand it any longer. I have to peek to see what exactly is going on in my closet.
He is sitting cross-legged on the floor, just inside the closet door. There are 2 tiny wicker chairs and a tiny wicker table on the floor in front of him. On the table are 3 miniature maroon wine goblets, and 3 teensy pink plates with 3 wee slices of plastic vanilla frosted cake on them. In the center of the table sits what is left of the little cake, raised up on one of those elevated cake stands. There is also an itsy bitsy pink teapot with a monogrammed "B" on it.
Sitting across from Legolas, in the tiny wicker chairs, are Little Pip's blonde haired Barbie and her Brunette friend Teresa.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* "The Fellowship of the Ring" by J.R.R. Tolkien. Houghton Mifflin Company c.1994
**nin lirimaer: Elvish for my lovely one
The banana story belongs to Quiseyes, and I read it last on Quiver (avada- kedavra.net/quiver) if you are interested. It is called "Feasting"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Responses to Reviewers: Wow! I've got 15 of you to say a big thank you to today! That will make me write faster! I love hearing what you think, and Legolas reads these too!
Hi Mom! Click on the little purple button that says submit, and tell everyone you really are out there, ok?
TreeHugger-Yes Dear loves to torment! My mom hounds me more than any reviewer ever could about updating. I showed her how to review this weekend, so we will see if our reviewer theory works? Thanks for the beta!
Irena-It is quite a romp, if I do say so myself!
Pervy-Hobbit-Fancier-Kare-I may take you up on that offer to keep him for awhile. He is really quite tiring at times! You will have to get in line behind PuterPatty, who has asked to baby-sit first. I also believe Nancing Elf would fight you for the second baby-sitting position.
PuterPatty-Legolas uses the hunt and peck method. They don't have typing class in ME, you know! His tongue works quite well-I mean, he just--well, er, um--Nevermind. I keep telling you, it's not at all like that!
Skye Rocket-Legolas says to tell you Wowzers, that is super that you love this!
Soliel-Legolas has this unusual speech pattern with accentuation on different parts of words from what you might hear normally. Try reading his spoken parts aloud and you will see what I mean.
SarWolf Snape-Here's another chapter for you! Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long?
Eternal Star-I hope you didn't get hurt, falling out of your chair like that?!
Seaweed-Reading Legolas' words out loud helps. He still has lots to tell, Gimli included!
Hathor-You can always put your mini-Legolas in the closet and pretend, right?
Rayvin813-I gave him a peck on the cheek for you, though I suspect you want much more?!
Nancing Elf-That is precisely why he lives in my closet and not yours! What would I do if you stopped writing stories like "Shifting Sands" and especially "To Comfort an Elf"?
Crazy Cookie Monster-He is very adorable, funny and brave and all kinds of things wrapped up into one. His sweet tooth is remarkable, I even think he has decided to forgive the Keebler company for its atrocities with the Elf cookies.
wacky_witchie_15-I promise to hurry! Thanks for reviewing. My mom likes this story too, she says it explains a lot. She will keep me updating frequently, I assure you!
Nestrik Ciorstaidh-Cairistiona-Legolas has had quite an adjustment to learn to live in the modern world. Glad you could join us for the adventure!
A/N: Thoughts in 's. References and Notes to reviewers at end of chapter.
It took me an hour to find him. By chance, I happened to get caught in that game cat's play, you know the one where they stare off into space, concentrating intensely, and when you finally look to see what it is they are observing, you realize there is nothing there. Absolutely, positively, nothing there. The cat will always give a little smirk, saying to itself, "Stupid human." Then it will wander off, in search of more intelligent minds to mess with.
I saw Mikey staring above the TV entertainment center. I avoided the game at first. After searching the whole house (I'd spent almost a whole hour already), I happened to fall for it and look toward the ceiling. There he perched, squatting back on his haunches, right up there at ceiling level. He had his bow in hand, arrow nocked and ready. There would be no Nazgûl sneaking undetected into this dwelling today, no siree!
"Legolas, you can come down now," I call up to him. "The Nazgûl is gone."
"Hoew due u noe?" he whispers, still clutching his bow.
"I typed back and told it you were gone. It left and has not come back," I state assuredly, using my most convincing voice. It is the same voice I use when I tell Little Pip she had better give back my favorite fuzzy black shoes for the last time.
Legolas drops soundlessly from his perch, six feet above the ground. He doesn't bounce on the landing, doesn't leave a mark on the carpet. Maybe they can use him on the US Gymnastics Team in the next Olympics I think.
"Thaet thang eez sum kiend of palantir, I noe id," he insists.
"Enough for now, " I gently tell him. "Yes Dear and Little Pip will be coming home soon, so we need to get you something to eat and get you settled back in your closet, ok?"
"Weel u tael dem abot mie toonite?" he inquires. He sounds almost shy when he says it.
"I will, if the time is right," I reply. "But first, let's get you prepared in case tonight does not work out."
He selects the box of Oat Bran Flakes and the package of dried fruit bits from the breakfast food cabinet, and I give him an apple and a banana as well. The apple he is familiar with, but the banana is an entirely different subject.
"An whut, prae tael, due I due wid dis thang?" he asks, eyebrow raised.
"It's a banana, Legolas. You eat it. Don't you have bananas in Middle Earth?" I answer.
"Id luuks like sumethang Haldir wuld uze . . . . nebermind," he turns away, blushing. Ah, the mysteries of elves!
He settles into the bottom corner of the closet, and is contentedly munching away on the bran flakes straight out of the box when I hear the car in the driveway. "I'll check on you later," I tell him, shutting the door.
Yes Dear comes back to the bedroom. I don't have to worry yet, for he gets a T-shirt and shorts from the dresser drawer and puts his work clothes into the laundry hamper, never going near the closet. I am thankful Legolas has the good elven sense to avoid chewing the bran flakes while Yes Dear is in the room.
That's when I notice the rumpled bedcovers and the copy of "The Fellowship of the Ring" in the middle of the bed. At exactly the same time Yes Dear notices the same thing.
"Ah, so you've decided to read it," Yes Dear teases.
"I did read it. Now I'm reading it again," I retort.
"What page are you on?" he inquires, moving toward the bed and picking up The Book before I can get to it.
"Page 204. The Council of Elrond," I snap back.
"I don't think so," says Mr. Tolkien bookverse trivia knowledge contest winner without cracking The Book's cover. "The Council of Elrond doesn't start until page 233 in this particular publisher's print. Page 204 is where Glorfindel arrives riding Asfaloth and finds Strider and the Hobbits on the Road to Rivendell." *
I hear a low growl coming from the closet behind me. Please Legolas, not now, the time is most definitely NOT RIGHT!
"What was that?" Yes Dear asks. "I didn't hear you."
Quick! Think quick! "I said I meant 234. Didn't I say page 234?"
"It sounded like you growled at me," he says.
"My stomach is growling. I'm hungry," I say. "Time for supper, ok?" I make a hasty retreat down the hall, praying Yes Dear will follow me, hoping the growling has ceased.
Thankfully, he follows, and the subject is dropped. At least, for now. I can't keep an elf in my closet forever, can I? Legolas will need to see the stars, and feel the sun on his face. No, it cannot last forever.
Sooner or later, Legolas will have to come out of the closet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank goodness Yes Dear sleeps like the dead. I sneak Legolas out twice for a bathroom break, once last night and again this morning. We have managed to make it almost 36 hours undetected.
After they have gone for the morning, I fix Legolas some toast, covered in strawberry jam, which appears to have won his favor. I leave him at the kitchen table and head for work. "Make yourself at home," I call from the door, "and I'll be back in a couple of hours, ok?"
Around noon, I arrive home, planning to fix peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. Since toast with jelly has been such a success, how could I possibly go wrong with peanut butter and jelly? I open the back door and step into the kitchen. He has managed to put his dirty breakfast paper plate into the garbage can, but the jelly is still on the table. Apparently he has not quite figured out how to open the refrigerator door. I am glad it was only the jelly, and not the milk.
"Legolas?" I call down the hallway. "It's just me. You can come out now."
There is a muffled "Okae," from the master bedroom. When 5 minutes go by and he has not appeared, I wander down the hallway to see what is keeping him.
I hear him talking in a chatty little voice, then answering in his own natural tone. I cannot quite catch the conversation, so I decide to eavesdrop momentarily again.
"Wuld u like sum caek?" he says in the chatty voice. It is quite high- pitched, and very feminine sounding.
"Dat wuld bea kwite niec endeed," he says in his own voice. There is a pause, punctuated with little clicking sounds, and then a deep, "Mmmm, deelishus!"
"Wie, thaenk u!" says the chatty voice.
"ur kwite wekome," says the deeper more natural Legolas voice.
Then another feminine voice joins in. This one is slightly lower toned and I think to myself, surprisingly like Arwen's voice from the movie. "Maehapz I culd poar u a leedle moer whine, Lord Legolas?"
His musical laughter rings throughout the house. "Nae, nae, **nin lirimaer, bud I em jest Legolas, nod a loerd bie eny meenz."
The Arwen voice says, "Shirly u r of sum lien of nobilatie. Ur manerz r impekable."
He laughs again, then answers, "I em da sun of King Thranduil, soe if u muest, u mae kall mie Prance Legolas."
I cannot stand it any longer. I have to peek to see what exactly is going on in my closet.
He is sitting cross-legged on the floor, just inside the closet door. There are 2 tiny wicker chairs and a tiny wicker table on the floor in front of him. On the table are 3 miniature maroon wine goblets, and 3 teensy pink plates with 3 wee slices of plastic vanilla frosted cake on them. In the center of the table sits what is left of the little cake, raised up on one of those elevated cake stands. There is also an itsy bitsy pink teapot with a monogrammed "B" on it.
Sitting across from Legolas, in the tiny wicker chairs, are Little Pip's blonde haired Barbie and her Brunette friend Teresa.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* "The Fellowship of the Ring" by J.R.R. Tolkien. Houghton Mifflin Company c.1994
**nin lirimaer: Elvish for my lovely one
The banana story belongs to Quiseyes, and I read it last on Quiver (avada- kedavra.net/quiver) if you are interested. It is called "Feasting"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Responses to Reviewers: Wow! I've got 15 of you to say a big thank you to today! That will make me write faster! I love hearing what you think, and Legolas reads these too!
Hi Mom! Click on the little purple button that says submit, and tell everyone you really are out there, ok?
TreeHugger-Yes Dear loves to torment! My mom hounds me more than any reviewer ever could about updating. I showed her how to review this weekend, so we will see if our reviewer theory works? Thanks for the beta!
Irena-It is quite a romp, if I do say so myself!
Pervy-Hobbit-Fancier-Kare-I may take you up on that offer to keep him for awhile. He is really quite tiring at times! You will have to get in line behind PuterPatty, who has asked to baby-sit first. I also believe Nancing Elf would fight you for the second baby-sitting position.
PuterPatty-Legolas uses the hunt and peck method. They don't have typing class in ME, you know! His tongue works quite well-I mean, he just--well, er, um--Nevermind. I keep telling you, it's not at all like that!
Skye Rocket-Legolas says to tell you Wowzers, that is super that you love this!
Soliel-Legolas has this unusual speech pattern with accentuation on different parts of words from what you might hear normally. Try reading his spoken parts aloud and you will see what I mean.
SarWolf Snape-Here's another chapter for you! Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long?
Eternal Star-I hope you didn't get hurt, falling out of your chair like that?!
Seaweed-Reading Legolas' words out loud helps. He still has lots to tell, Gimli included!
Hathor-You can always put your mini-Legolas in the closet and pretend, right?
Rayvin813-I gave him a peck on the cheek for you, though I suspect you want much more?!
Nancing Elf-That is precisely why he lives in my closet and not yours! What would I do if you stopped writing stories like "Shifting Sands" and especially "To Comfort an Elf"?
Crazy Cookie Monster-He is very adorable, funny and brave and all kinds of things wrapped up into one. His sweet tooth is remarkable, I even think he has decided to forgive the Keebler company for its atrocities with the Elf cookies.
wacky_witchie_15-I promise to hurry! Thanks for reviewing. My mom likes this story too, she says it explains a lot. She will keep me updating frequently, I assure you!
Nestrik Ciorstaidh-Cairistiona-Legolas has had quite an adjustment to learn to live in the modern world. Glad you could join us for the adventure!