Chapter 6 Afternoon Tea with Barbie and Teresa
Disclaimer: Nope. I do not own him. I am not sure anybody really owns him at this point but himself. Therefore, I am not really at liberty to loan him or rent him out either. Sorry. Nor do I own any of the other everyday items you will see listed throughout this story.
"Weel, der u ar!" says the Prance of Mirkwood from his position on the floor. "I deed nod thank u wuld eber git hear! Wuld u caer tu joyne us?"
How can I resist an invitation from the Prance? My brain says to myself, if he pulls out a glass slipper, I will just DIE!
"Well, just for a minute," I say, blushing a little. Ok, a LOT!
"Guud!" he exclaims, moving over on the carpet to make room for me at his side. As I get settled, he leans over conspiratorially and whispers in my ear, "I wuld entrudoose u, bud de laedeez hab bean verry hezitaent abot taelling mie dere naemz."
"Maybe I can help," I reply. Addressing the dolls I say," Ladies, it has come to my attention that you have not been formally introduced. My profuse apologies are in order. Please forgive me." I give a little half curtsy from my seated position.
"Prance Legolas," I begin, "May I present Barbie of Mattel and her best friend Teresa?" I point to each of the ladies in turn as I announce them.
"Ladies, may I present Prance Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood, " I gesture toward Legolas as he gives a little seated bow and inclines his head. He reaches out and takes Barbie by the hand, saying" Sech a plaezur tu meat u," and then doing the same to Teresa, "I em honurd tu maek ur akwainteance."
What a charmer!
His voice changes to the high pitched feminine one I heard before, and he says, "weel u joyne uz fur sum kaek?"
It changes again, and this time the Arwen voice adds, "yeas, plaez due!"
Now he waits, looking at me expectantly. With a start, I realize it is my turn. I have gotten so wrapped up in the unusual voices coming from him that I almost forgot I was having an afternoon tea party with a Prance!
"Oh, certainly!" I answer.
Legolas produces another teensy pink plate and a minature wine goblet from the far side of him. " I thot u mite sae dat!" he says, grinning. He doles out a wee slice of the plastic vanilla frosted cake for me on the teensy pink plate, and hands it gracefully to me, then pretends to pour a goblet full of whatever is in the itsy bitsy pink teapot for me. "Hear u goe!" he says, handing the goblet to me.
"Thank you, Prance Legolas," I reply.
Before I can make another move, he leans close to my ear again and whispers, "Wach dat kake. Haerder dan Da Won Rang idsef. Gimli culdn't kut dat kake wid heez akz eethr. An dat whine burnz like da fierz of Moredoor goen doewn." He winks at me.
I give him a smile back, pretending to taste the cake and to take a sip of the wine. "Excellent vintage!" I exclaim. "This must be from your father's vines, Lady Barbie?"
"Ah yaes, frum da yeer of da Prance'z koeming of aege," he reflects in the high pitched feminine Barbie voice.
"A miety fien yeer endeed!" says the Arwen voice.
Leaning back to my ear again, he becomes Legolas again, and whispers, "An dat kake iz abot dat saem aege tu!"
We make small talk for a while longer, when suddenly I realize the afternoon is passing and I still have to go get Little Pip. "Legolas," I ask, "would you like to accompany me to pick up Little Pip from school?"
"U meen goe bie bie een da kar?" he asks, leaping to his feet. "O, culd I? Culd I?"
"Well, sure, I guess it would be ok," I reply. "You will have to ride in the very back of the van though, and not let anyone see you. I haven't told anyone about you yet."
"Okae!" He is past me in a flash, blonde mane flying behind him, bow and quiver in hand, though I never saw him pick them up. Before I can blink, he is standing at the back door, waiting, shifting from foot to foot. Funny, I don't remember ever seeing him do that in the movie.
"No, no, the bow and arrows stay here," I tell him. This produces the scowl of the deadly elven warrior I knew before. "The school does not allow any weapons on the grounds, for the children's safety you know."
"Whut abot Orkz?" he questions.
"No Orcs are allowed either," I say.
"Gobbelinz?" he inquires.
"No Goblins either."
"Waergz?"
"Nope. No scary bad things allowed at all. It is a very safe place to be," I tell him, reaching for the weapons and placing them respectfully on the kitchen table. "Come now, or we'll be late."
I open the glass storm door for him, letting him out into the yard in the sunlight. He stands for a moment, face uplifted, eyes closed, reveling in the delight of its warmth. As I lock up to go, I notice the smile that has crept up on his face as he stands there in the bright light. Yes, Legolas, it is time to come out of the closet. You need to be out of the darkness that has befallen you, through no fault of your own.
I open the hatch of the van for him, and watch as he climbs in and makes himself comfortable sitting on the picnic blanket I always keep back there on the floor. "Ready?" I ask him.
"Raedie!" he proclaims.
I head for the drivers seat, crank it up, and begin to back out of the driveway. There is a scrambling noise, and I brake to see what it is that has caused him to move so rapidly.
"Legolas, are you all right back there?"
"Hoew due I maek dis thang woerk?" he yells back, obviously startled.
"What are you trying to work?" I call back to him.
"Dis thang! Dis kar! Id eez moevin dis wae! I thot U wuz goen tu maek id wurk!"
I forgot to explain we have to go backward first to get out of the driveway. He must have thought we would be going forwards all the time, since I told him he had to ride in the back of the car. Ooops!
After a brief lesson in which way the car goes, we head down the driveway and are off to school. As we are driving along, I catch glimpses of a blonde head in my rear view mirror from time to time, but all in all he does an excellent job of keeping himself hidden. When we get to the school, I call to him, "Better hide good now, we are here and Pip is about to get in the car, ok?"
"Okae!" I hear some rustling sounds, and then all is quiet in the back of the van.
The side door slides open, and Pip climbs in. "Guess what?" I ask her. "Have I got a surprise for you when we get home!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notes to Reviewers:
TreeHugger: Bananas and Peaches AND Haldir! And YD does indeed know the page numbers in the trilogy. I love the voices too! Thank you for beta'ing for me, and all the other fine things you do!
MOM: I knew you could do it! But taking computer advice from Legolas, well, that's bad Mom. You know he's shot the screen out twice! Don't ever listen to him if he tells you it is ok to hit the frustrating thing with something. He also can't wait to go bie bie in your new SUV, but don't let him talk you into letting him drive either!
SarWolf Snape: Here's more tea party for you! Thanks for adding me to your favorites page! I am truly honored! Legolas is so excited too, you really made his day!
Chel aka Elf Goldfish Cracker: You must have a big basement. Watch out, those boys will get into all kinds of trouble in the dark!
Raider 314: Thanks! Legolas and I are glad you joined us. It is indeed odd to try to hide a 6-foot tall elf in your closet. Not for the weak at heart!
Anon: Brilliant? Just real life at my house. But thanks!
Magical Rachel: well I did warn you it is a non-fiction story on a fiction site 'cause there are no non-fiction LOTR sites out there for LOTR. Be warned: A Hobbit would be very hungry in a closet, but at least he would leave no crumbs.
JastaELf: He's got quite a sweet tooth! I don't care what you rate it, he's not ready for Dark Leaf yet! But I will hug him for ya!
Irena: Legolas has a lot of things to learn, doesn't he? Wait until the "moon cycles" start and he learns about hormones *winks, referring to "For the Good of Gondor", if others haven't read it yet, you should!
Sailor Nova: I'm so happy you're happy! Lego is too! Thanks for putting us on your favorites lists!
Seaweed: He's not feminine at all, merely bored and wanting a playmate. Yes, Haldir LOVES fruit. . . .
Skye Rocket: I loved your rambling review! I feel like that myself when I get too much caffeine. Don't hurt yourself!
Sake: the tea party is going very well as you can see. I talk out loud to whoever will listen all the time, and the men with the white coats have not been able to catch me yet, so don't worry!
Puterpatty: You are still #1 on the baby-sitting list! I know Schoolhouse Rocks; I always liked the number 8 "it's a circle that goes round upon itself." Whacked out? I thought that bump on the head was affecting him too, but now I'm not so sure? He has watched Mr. Rogers; he saw the one about how you can't go down the drain of the bathtub, which by the way has helped tremendously! No, Lady Elaine or Nazgul commercials yet though.
calenedhel: Here, try a Keebler Elf cookie to raise that blood sugar. It works for Legolas!
Crazy Cookie Monster: YD would dispute that no one has it worse that me, as you will see later!
Rayvin813: You wanted more? I keep telling PuterPatty and Nancing Elf it is not like that with him at all, but they don't believe me either.
Elvea Aure aka Amanfalathiel: he has not yet discovered the virtues of the paperclip. You did send him back on top of the TV entertainment center telling him you are Sauron's twin sister though, you bad girl!
Lirenel: He probably will need psychiatric help if PuterPatty and Nancing Elf ever get hold of him, and I have to watch TreeHugger like a hawk around him too!
Amber aka Joy Took: That is quite a complement to have a hubby read and laugh at this story. Thanks for letting me know about it, you really made my day! Don't tell him about the slash, take my word for it! (Tree, we are still SO BUSTED!)
Emryn: he's got this strange ME accent, and he types like that too! Elves use Hooked on Phonics, I guess? Who said that, Tree was it you?
Disclaimer: Nope. I do not own him. I am not sure anybody really owns him at this point but himself. Therefore, I am not really at liberty to loan him or rent him out either. Sorry. Nor do I own any of the other everyday items you will see listed throughout this story.
"Weel, der u ar!" says the Prance of Mirkwood from his position on the floor. "I deed nod thank u wuld eber git hear! Wuld u caer tu joyne us?"
How can I resist an invitation from the Prance? My brain says to myself, if he pulls out a glass slipper, I will just DIE!
"Well, just for a minute," I say, blushing a little. Ok, a LOT!
"Guud!" he exclaims, moving over on the carpet to make room for me at his side. As I get settled, he leans over conspiratorially and whispers in my ear, "I wuld entrudoose u, bud de laedeez hab bean verry hezitaent abot taelling mie dere naemz."
"Maybe I can help," I reply. Addressing the dolls I say," Ladies, it has come to my attention that you have not been formally introduced. My profuse apologies are in order. Please forgive me." I give a little half curtsy from my seated position.
"Prance Legolas," I begin, "May I present Barbie of Mattel and her best friend Teresa?" I point to each of the ladies in turn as I announce them.
"Ladies, may I present Prance Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood, " I gesture toward Legolas as he gives a little seated bow and inclines his head. He reaches out and takes Barbie by the hand, saying" Sech a plaezur tu meat u," and then doing the same to Teresa, "I em honurd tu maek ur akwainteance."
What a charmer!
His voice changes to the high pitched feminine one I heard before, and he says, "weel u joyne uz fur sum kaek?"
It changes again, and this time the Arwen voice adds, "yeas, plaez due!"
Now he waits, looking at me expectantly. With a start, I realize it is my turn. I have gotten so wrapped up in the unusual voices coming from him that I almost forgot I was having an afternoon tea party with a Prance!
"Oh, certainly!" I answer.
Legolas produces another teensy pink plate and a minature wine goblet from the far side of him. " I thot u mite sae dat!" he says, grinning. He doles out a wee slice of the plastic vanilla frosted cake for me on the teensy pink plate, and hands it gracefully to me, then pretends to pour a goblet full of whatever is in the itsy bitsy pink teapot for me. "Hear u goe!" he says, handing the goblet to me.
"Thank you, Prance Legolas," I reply.
Before I can make another move, he leans close to my ear again and whispers, "Wach dat kake. Haerder dan Da Won Rang idsef. Gimli culdn't kut dat kake wid heez akz eethr. An dat whine burnz like da fierz of Moredoor goen doewn." He winks at me.
I give him a smile back, pretending to taste the cake and to take a sip of the wine. "Excellent vintage!" I exclaim. "This must be from your father's vines, Lady Barbie?"
"Ah yaes, frum da yeer of da Prance'z koeming of aege," he reflects in the high pitched feminine Barbie voice.
"A miety fien yeer endeed!" says the Arwen voice.
Leaning back to my ear again, he becomes Legolas again, and whispers, "An dat kake iz abot dat saem aege tu!"
We make small talk for a while longer, when suddenly I realize the afternoon is passing and I still have to go get Little Pip. "Legolas," I ask, "would you like to accompany me to pick up Little Pip from school?"
"U meen goe bie bie een da kar?" he asks, leaping to his feet. "O, culd I? Culd I?"
"Well, sure, I guess it would be ok," I reply. "You will have to ride in the very back of the van though, and not let anyone see you. I haven't told anyone about you yet."
"Okae!" He is past me in a flash, blonde mane flying behind him, bow and quiver in hand, though I never saw him pick them up. Before I can blink, he is standing at the back door, waiting, shifting from foot to foot. Funny, I don't remember ever seeing him do that in the movie.
"No, no, the bow and arrows stay here," I tell him. This produces the scowl of the deadly elven warrior I knew before. "The school does not allow any weapons on the grounds, for the children's safety you know."
"Whut abot Orkz?" he questions.
"No Orcs are allowed either," I say.
"Gobbelinz?" he inquires.
"No Goblins either."
"Waergz?"
"Nope. No scary bad things allowed at all. It is a very safe place to be," I tell him, reaching for the weapons and placing them respectfully on the kitchen table. "Come now, or we'll be late."
I open the glass storm door for him, letting him out into the yard in the sunlight. He stands for a moment, face uplifted, eyes closed, reveling in the delight of its warmth. As I lock up to go, I notice the smile that has crept up on his face as he stands there in the bright light. Yes, Legolas, it is time to come out of the closet. You need to be out of the darkness that has befallen you, through no fault of your own.
I open the hatch of the van for him, and watch as he climbs in and makes himself comfortable sitting on the picnic blanket I always keep back there on the floor. "Ready?" I ask him.
"Raedie!" he proclaims.
I head for the drivers seat, crank it up, and begin to back out of the driveway. There is a scrambling noise, and I brake to see what it is that has caused him to move so rapidly.
"Legolas, are you all right back there?"
"Hoew due I maek dis thang woerk?" he yells back, obviously startled.
"What are you trying to work?" I call back to him.
"Dis thang! Dis kar! Id eez moevin dis wae! I thot U wuz goen tu maek id wurk!"
I forgot to explain we have to go backward first to get out of the driveway. He must have thought we would be going forwards all the time, since I told him he had to ride in the back of the car. Ooops!
After a brief lesson in which way the car goes, we head down the driveway and are off to school. As we are driving along, I catch glimpses of a blonde head in my rear view mirror from time to time, but all in all he does an excellent job of keeping himself hidden. When we get to the school, I call to him, "Better hide good now, we are here and Pip is about to get in the car, ok?"
"Okae!" I hear some rustling sounds, and then all is quiet in the back of the van.
The side door slides open, and Pip climbs in. "Guess what?" I ask her. "Have I got a surprise for you when we get home!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notes to Reviewers:
TreeHugger: Bananas and Peaches AND Haldir! And YD does indeed know the page numbers in the trilogy. I love the voices too! Thank you for beta'ing for me, and all the other fine things you do!
MOM: I knew you could do it! But taking computer advice from Legolas, well, that's bad Mom. You know he's shot the screen out twice! Don't ever listen to him if he tells you it is ok to hit the frustrating thing with something. He also can't wait to go bie bie in your new SUV, but don't let him talk you into letting him drive either!
SarWolf Snape: Here's more tea party for you! Thanks for adding me to your favorites page! I am truly honored! Legolas is so excited too, you really made his day!
Chel aka Elf Goldfish Cracker: You must have a big basement. Watch out, those boys will get into all kinds of trouble in the dark!
Raider 314: Thanks! Legolas and I are glad you joined us. It is indeed odd to try to hide a 6-foot tall elf in your closet. Not for the weak at heart!
Anon: Brilliant? Just real life at my house. But thanks!
Magical Rachel: well I did warn you it is a non-fiction story on a fiction site 'cause there are no non-fiction LOTR sites out there for LOTR. Be warned: A Hobbit would be very hungry in a closet, but at least he would leave no crumbs.
JastaELf: He's got quite a sweet tooth! I don't care what you rate it, he's not ready for Dark Leaf yet! But I will hug him for ya!
Irena: Legolas has a lot of things to learn, doesn't he? Wait until the "moon cycles" start and he learns about hormones *winks, referring to "For the Good of Gondor", if others haven't read it yet, you should!
Sailor Nova: I'm so happy you're happy! Lego is too! Thanks for putting us on your favorites lists!
Seaweed: He's not feminine at all, merely bored and wanting a playmate. Yes, Haldir LOVES fruit. . . .
Skye Rocket: I loved your rambling review! I feel like that myself when I get too much caffeine. Don't hurt yourself!
Sake: the tea party is going very well as you can see. I talk out loud to whoever will listen all the time, and the men with the white coats have not been able to catch me yet, so don't worry!
Puterpatty: You are still #1 on the baby-sitting list! I know Schoolhouse Rocks; I always liked the number 8 "it's a circle that goes round upon itself." Whacked out? I thought that bump on the head was affecting him too, but now I'm not so sure? He has watched Mr. Rogers; he saw the one about how you can't go down the drain of the bathtub, which by the way has helped tremendously! No, Lady Elaine or Nazgul commercials yet though.
calenedhel: Here, try a Keebler Elf cookie to raise that blood sugar. It works for Legolas!
Crazy Cookie Monster: YD would dispute that no one has it worse that me, as you will see later!
Rayvin813: You wanted more? I keep telling PuterPatty and Nancing Elf it is not like that with him at all, but they don't believe me either.
Elvea Aure aka Amanfalathiel: he has not yet discovered the virtues of the paperclip. You did send him back on top of the TV entertainment center telling him you are Sauron's twin sister though, you bad girl!
Lirenel: He probably will need psychiatric help if PuterPatty and Nancing Elf ever get hold of him, and I have to watch TreeHugger like a hawk around him too!
Amber aka Joy Took: That is quite a complement to have a hubby read and laugh at this story. Thanks for letting me know about it, you really made my day! Don't tell him about the slash, take my word for it! (Tree, we are still SO BUSTED!)
Emryn: he's got this strange ME accent, and he types like that too! Elves use Hooked on Phonics, I guess? Who said that, Tree was it you?