Disclaimer: I do not own evangelion. All characters and other aspects are owned by Gainax.
"Rei…I'm so sorry."
Shinji Ikari sat beside Rei Ayanami in the NERV infirmary.
"Please, don't be sorry it's not your fault."
Shinji had tears in his eyes now. He knew that she would never walk again. It was so sad. "Why her?" "Why not me?"
"What can I do Rei? I don't want things to be this way."
Rei looked into his eyes. He was crying, and she now felt as if she knew why.
"I guess all you can do is hope."
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In truth Shinji was enjoying his new physical training. If anything it helped him keep his mind off of the pain. It had been about a week now since school had started. He had talked to Rei and felt horrible for her condition even though he knew it wasn't his fault. The truly horrible blow had come on the first day of school. It had started normal enough. He had walked to school with Asuka and met Toji at the entrance. Nishka was there already to greet them, and Damon seemed to be attracting lots of pretty girls. However once class had started Shinji noticed that neither Hikari nor Kensuke were present. Soon afterward the teacher announced that both students had not returned post third impact. At first Shinji hadn't believed it, but he knew deep down that it was true, he could feel it. Toji had subsequently run out of the classroom in a fit of disbelief. Shinji had followed him soon afterward. He had found Toji in the boy's locker room. He had tears in his eyes, and he had broken one of the large mirrors. His fist had pieces of glass in it, but he hadn't seemed to notice. They both had just sat there for a long time, until they were located and the school counselor had sent for them. The counselor gave each of them a stupid pamphlet about dealing with the pain. On the way home he and Asuka hadn't said much. They had stopped on a park bench and sat. After an hour or so Asuka had decided to go home, but Shinji had said that he wanted to stay for a while. She left, and he continued to sit. After a few minutes he stood up, shaking with rage and sadness. He had extended his AT field like a blade, and cut down a large tree with a single swipe. When he finally arrived home his arm and shirt were bloody. Misato was frightened, but Asuka simply had simply hugged him. It had made him feel better knowing that she understood and was there for him.
Shinji had just finished his last set of the day and left for the locker room. The weight lifting was only one third of the program that he was on. The second part was actually taught by Damon. He had been told that Unit X functioned in largely the same way that Shinji's own body was now functioning. Unit X had complete control over its AT field, this function allowed Damon to summon weapons such as the Katana he had used against the second Wraith. Damon said that Shinji could most likely do the same sorts of things, and had suggested to the commander that he be allowed to work with Shinji to try and develop his powers. Damon had gone through extensive training with a psychiatrist and personal trainer to be able to manipulate the cutting edge technology contained in Unit X. The psychiatrist was employed to profile Damon and help him discover the thought patterns that activated the technology, while the physical trainer was around to help him actually manipulate it.
Shinji entered into the room where he and Damon normally practiced. The American boy was already there, hooked up to an elaborate VR machine that allowed him to simulate combat in his mind. The program allowed him to practice manipulating his AT field without actually being in his Eva.
"Hello there Shinji." Damon shut down the machine and slowly stepped out of it.
"Hello Damon."
"You ready to get to work?"
Shinji nodded, and with that they began. Damon was currently teaching him how to form specific objects out of the AT field. It was extremely difficult work which involved total concentration on the object, as well as the thoughts that allowed manipulation. When they first started Shinji had said that he wanted to be able to form a Katana like Damon could. He was getting closer and closer every, but he still wasn't quite there. Damon had told him that it was like riding a bicycle. Its had to learn, but once you do you never forget. He had said that once Shinji was finally able to create the blade, he probably would never have trouble doing it again. Shinji couldn't wait for that to happen. The other frustrating thing was the fact that he could only practice in small increments or his body would begin to break down.
"Ahhh….Shit!" Shinji swore as the orange blade in front of him began to disintegrate as his arms began to bleed.
"Alright man, we should probably call it a day," Damon said with a look of concern.
Shinji nodded and let out a sigh of frustration. The blood was already scabbing, and would soon after disappear entirely.
"That looks like it hurts," Damon said glancing at Shinji's arms.
"It does, but I don't think it hurts as much as it probably should. I figure that my adrenaline from trying to concentrate so hard kill some of the pain."
"I see."
The two boys sat in silence for a while, Shinji resting, Damon thinking about all the pretty girls he had met in the last week.
"Damon?"
"Yah?"
Shinji paused for a moment.
"What do you think about when you manipulate your AT field in your Eva?"
Damon laughed.
"I'll tell ya, but you got to promise to tell me what you think about when you do it."
Shinji hesitated. What he thought about, no, who he thought about, was deeply personal to him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to reveal that much about himself. He was still somewhat embarrassed about how deeply he loved Asuka. He figured other people would have a hard time taking him seriously because he was so young. He didn't want Damon to think less of him. But in truth, despite his rather gung-ho personality, Shinji knew that deep down he was a really serious guy.
"Okay."
"Alright then. This may sound kinda stuck up but it's the truth. When I manipulate my AT field, I think of all the people back home that are looking to me to protect them, the people who put there faith in me to save them. I can't let them down. And so I'm trained and prepared to do anything to make sure the worlds safe for mom, God, and apple pie," Damon concluded with a faint smile, "that is what I think about."
"That isn't stuck up at all, it's noble."
Damon shrugged.
"I guess."
Shinji was hardly surprised that this was his answer. He had after all sworn an oath with him to protect the people of earth by killing every last Wraith. Shinji smiled. Compared to what Damon had said, his own thoughts about Asuka seemed selfish.
"Alright," Damon was smiling now, "Now you gotta tell me what you think about."
"I think…" Shinji trailed off.
"Think what…?"
"I think about Asuka."
To Shinji's surprise Damon nodded approvingly.
"You really love her, don't you?"
"Yah."
"That's great man. To be able to tell someone that…you did tell her right?"
"Yah I did."
He whistled.
"What a mind job. To just know that a certain girl is "the" one. I envy you man. You're like a knight in shining armor, fighting for your lady fare."
Shinji laughed.
"Yah I guess so."
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Shinji finished his training with Damon and changed back into his regular clothes. He was starving and couldn't wait to get home to dinner. He was exhausted these days from all of the new exercise, and tomorrow it was going to get tougher. A martial arts master was supposed to arrive from Osaka the next morning to instruct Shinji in various forms of combat. He was both excited and apprehensive at the same time. He glanced at his arms; after only a week of training he could already see that he was growing stronger. He smiled with the thought of him being big and strong, but then frowned soon afterward when he thought about the fact that he would never see Kensuke again.
When he arrived back at the apartment he was disappointed by the fact that Asuka was not there. Instead Misato had come home early and was busy cooking dinner. Shinji groaned. Misato's cooking was always instant, and always bad.
"Hello Misato."
"Oh! Hello Shinji. I'm glad to see you home. How was school?"
"Fine. Uh, where is Asuka?"
Misato smiled at him.
"She went with Nishka to check out where she is staying."
"Oh, okay then. Uh dinner smells good," Shinji lied.
"Really? Thank you!"
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Asuka Langley Soryu couldn't believe how lucky Nishka Zalomai was. Because of a shortage of a living space in post third impact Tokyo three, the two new pilots got to live in the Tokyo 3 university dorms. And they weren't the bad dorms either. In fact they were quite nice, but that wasn't really why Asuka thought that Nishka was so lucky. Asuka thought she was lucky because she not only didn't have an annoying guardian like Misato, but she got to live in a college environment without the stress of actually going to college.
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Damon Robinson couldn't have been happier either. There were plenty of pretty girls at the college, and he felt that he looked fairly old for his age. His room was next door to Nishka's and he was hoping to get to know her better as well. He had spoken to Toji Suzahara more lately as well. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, but his life had been shaken deeply with the loss of one of his best friends and his girlfriend as well. Toji seemed to hold a bit of a grudge on Asuka as well. Damon couldn't really tell why, she seemed pretty nice to him. Plus Shinji was head over heals for her. Damon laughed.
"Lucky bastard," Damon said quietly. He put his sunglasses on, and found a toothpick to chew on. He figured it was time to go cruising. See what was to be seen. Do what was to be done. He found that he hadn't really gone exploring around the city. He had always wanted to go to Japan, but now that he was here it seemed that he really had not taken advantage of what the city had to offer. He looked around for his gun. The American government had insisted that he carry it for his own protection and for that of Shinji and the other pilots. He had a special diplomatic badge to carry it, and even so he was the only person who could fire it. The safety was coded with a password, and the trigger could not be pulled if his fingerprints didn't match it. He didn't like carrying it. But if the government said so then he would. They were of course very worried about terrorist acts, and the military had a lot of money invested in him. It was somewhat sad. He felt as if he had grown up to some extent before his time. But that was alright if it meant saving lives. And Damon Robinson found nothing more satisfying than saving lives.
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Shinji Ikari sat in his room in total darkness. He concentrated on the blade, concentrated on her. He could see the tell tale glow began to seep from his hands. Soon the room was awash with orange light. Shinji concentrated hard on his task, trying to mold the bizarre object in front of him into a blade. He could feel his veins begin to tense up again, but he did not look at his arms. He was far too close now. And soon the task was done. The sword gleamed perfectly in front of him, hovering above his palms in the light. Shinji's arms had relaxed, he had not bled. The 3rd child smiled. He had done it, and it was perfect.
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Asuka walked into Shinji's room, confused by the fact that it was in darkness. Shinji stood there, in the center of the room, his back to her. She caught a faint glimpse of something orange slide back into his palm. "He must be practicing using his AT field," she thought. She was glad to see that there was no blood.
Asuka walked up and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his back.
"How was Nishka's place?"
"It was fine."
Shinji turned around and faced her. He laid his forehead against hers, black hair intermingling with red. He was looking down at the ground.
"There not coming back are they, Asuka?"
"No," she said, "no they're not."
Asuka had tears in her eyes.
"I'm really going to miss them," he said.
"Me too," she said, her voice now choked up.
He placed his hands on her shoulders as she looked him in the eyes.
"Well," Shinji started, "I guess we just have to be strong."
She nodded with tears in her eyes. She placed her hand on his cheek, trying to smile. Shinji pulled her close, so that there bodies were now touching, as he placed his arms around her waist. He concentrated on her, on the way he felt for her, allowing his AT field to extend from every part of his body. Soon the warm glow had encased Shinji entirely, and was soon after spreading around Asuka. Shinji kissed her just as she was fully wrapped in his AT field. The German girl had never felt anything quite like it before. Shinji's AT field felt like a warm breeze blowing all around her. It sent chills through her body, though she was neither cold nor frightened. It was almost like a world that was made only for them. After a while Shinji broke off the kiss and let his field settle back into his body. He bled slightly from his cheek, and he was surprised to see that Asuka's cheek bled ever so slightly as well. Neither of the two really cared. They both just looked into each others eyes knowingly. There souls, there very life forces had been brought together, even if it was for only a few minutes.
"That was unlike anything I've ever felt before. It was amazing. I can't quite describe it."
Shinji seemed to be in deep thought.
"Asuka, whatever happens, as long as we have each other…"
Asuka nodded.
"It's alright Shinji. I know."
He nodded silently as he pulled her close again, letting his actions speak for him.