Chapter 7 Co-Conspirator
A/N: My heart is breaking! I cracked my DVD disc! *wipes tears away* Be very careful when you push the disc down into the little holder-there was a pop noise and my DVD disc now has 3 little cracks running outward from the center hole! It still plays, but if anyone sees PJ please tell him I would like another one, after all I went 24 times to see it, doesn't loyalty count for anything?
At least the extended version will be here in just another month or so. *sighs*
Nope. Still can't say I own him, though I should get credit for keeping him out of trouble as long as I have so far. Oh yeah, thoughts are in ~ ~ this time.
* * * * * * * * * *
Little Pip is very excited to hear there will be a surprise for her, as all children are. "What is it, Momma?" she asks, not able to contain her curiosity.
"If I tell you now it won't be a surprise when we get home, will it?"
She gives The Drama Queen sigh. "No, I guess not."
"Finish your homework on the ride home, then you will be ready to play when you get there," I suggest.
As we drive, I see a blonde head and a pair of bright blue eyes peering over the top of the third row seat back. Legolas is carefully checking out Pip. I realize the only time he may have seen her would be in a photograph or in a quick glimpse as she passed by the closet door, which she doesn't do all that often. Thank Goodness she is concentrating hard on her homework and does not notice the scrutiny coming from behind her.
She finishes just as we are turning onto our street. I give Legolas the warning eye in the rear view mirror, and he ducks back down into his hiding place.
Pip is out of the car, scurrying into the house in anticipation of her surprise. Legolas is half out behind her before I catch him. "Wait here for just a second," I tell him. " I want her to have a chance to look into your closet before you come in."
He nods his head, blonde tresses waving gently. " I weel stae rite hear unteel u kum bak."
She passes the kitchen table, throws her bookbag on the couch, and turns to face me. "OK, I'm ready!" she proclaims.
~~Oh boy, NO you are NOT!~~ I think to myself.
"About your surprise. . . " I begin. "You remember the other night when we went to Greenwood to the movies?"
She nods and continues staring at me, blue eyes wide with a big anticipatory grin gracing her lips.
"Well, I brought something . . . let's call it 'unusual', home," I tell her. "You aren't going to believe this, but . . . " I hesitate, trying to be certain I am doing the right thing. As I pause, I see out of the corner of my eye a figure peering out of the back window of the van, patiently awaiting his fate. Yes, it is time. Legolas must come out of the closet today.
". . .when we were at the movie theater the other night, I brought Legolas home in my purse."
"Momma, you are too much," Pip says.
"I'm serious. He fell out of the movie screen, and I picked him up and put him in my purse and brought him home." She gives me that look all parents know, the one that says 'Yes, its really true, my parents ARE aliens from the planet Quark.'
After a few moments trying to figure out why I have not cracked up laughing, she begins to think that I might just be delusional enough to have actually tried to pull this off.
"Are you serious?" she asks in a dubious voice.
"Yep." I answer.
She ponders how this could have happened, knowing full well she was there and yet never saw anything out of the ordinary. "Well, then why haven't I seen him? Where are you keeping him?"
"I snuck him into the closet in my room."
"I don't believe you," she says, folding her arms across her chest.
"Then go see for yourself."
She hesitates. There is something about her mother's attitude that says caution is in order; this crazy turn of events might actually be happening right under her nose. She turns, and with big strides goes down the hallway to the bedroom across from her own. The sight on the floor in front of her stops her.
"LEGOLAS!!!!" she bellows. "Those are MY Barbie dolls!" After a moments pause, taking in that there is no actual damage to her personal effects, she starts to plunder through the clothes in the closet, searching.
"He is not in there!" she turns and confronts me, angry that her dolls have been disturbed. Honestly, you'd have thought he had bitten the heads off of them she was so upset.
"Of course not. I took him with me to pick you up from school. He's still in the car."
"He is not! I would have seen him!" she replies, indignant.
"He is trained in hiding skills. No one could see him unless he wanted them to." I wait, watching the wheels turn in her 9 year old brain. She wants to believe, she really does, but she is pretty certain at this point that her old mom is ready for the funny farm.
"I still don't believe you," she says.
I give her a moment, then ask, "Would you like to meet him?" She nods yes, and I take her by the hand, leading her to the back storm door and pointing to the van.
"He is in there. Wait right here for a moment and I'll go get him."
"Well, ok," she replies, once again folding her arms across her chest, standing at the door watching the van like a hawk.
Out I go, around to the side sliding door of the van. When I open the door, however, there is no Elf there. None. Nada. ~~ Don't panic, he can't have gone far~~ my mind screams at me.
"Legolas?" I call. "LEGOLAS?"
"Yeas?" He is so close he startles me. I must have deafened his elven ears calling him that loudly. I honestly expected to be hunting the neighborhood looking for him.
"Don't scare me like that!" I tell him.
"I em soerrie. I deed nod meen tu skeer u," he replies. "Kin I kum een noew?"
"It's ok," I say. "Please do come in now, Little Pip wants to meet you."
He unfolds himself from his hiding place in the back of the van, and I wonder how he managed to camouflage himself like that. He really was in plain view, but I never saw him.
As he stands to his full height, I take the opportunity to glance at the storm door. Little Pip has dropped her arms to her sides, and her mouth is hanging wide open, her eyeballs popping from their sockets.
As I open the door to let us in, one long, drawn out whispered word emerges; no longer a name, but now a figure of speech, " momma. . . "
"Little Pip, meet Prance Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood. Prance Legolas, meet Little Pip."
"Verrie pleezd tu meat u, Leddle Peep," says the Prance with a sweeping bow.
She stares at him unresponding, eyes scanning him the entire 6 feet of his height, taking in the blonde hair, the hunter green tunic, the soft elven boots, the leather bracers on his forearms. After a few moments she asks skeptically, "Where are your bow and arrows?"
He points to the weapons still lying on the kitchen table.
She eyeballs me again. "Is this some kind of trick?" she asks.
"No. Not at all. In fact, I think it would be easier if it were a trick. "
I see her wheels start turning again, and I get ready because I know what is coming next. Legolas cuts a glance in my direction, as if asking what he should do now. I slightly raise my hand, indicating for him to hold his position. He nods ok back to me. Here it comes.
"What has he been eating? When does he sleep? Where does he go when Daddy opens the closet door? How does he go to the bathroom?" She pauses to take a breath, and then the biggest question of all comes, "Why in the world did you do this?!
I've been sneaking food in there to him."
"Yes," she begins again, "but just WHAT does he eat? Where does he put the dishes when he is done with them? Do we have the right kind of food for him? Does he drink water or tea?
"I have been.." I start, only to be hit by another wave of questions.
"Did he sleep in the closet last night? Why not in the spare bedroom? Did you give him a blanket? Did he bring his teddy bear?"
"Has Daddy seen him yet? Where does he hide when you open the closet door? What will he wear when you need to wash his clothes? My, he IS a little dirty for an Elf, isn't he?"
She begins anew, "Does he have his own hairbrush? How did you sneak him to the bathroom without Daddy seeing him? Does he leave the seat up or down when he uses the toilet? Has he tried my new shampoo and conditioner yet?
Legolas looks from me to Pip to me again. He is blinking his eyes, unsure where this interrogation is going. He is aware that so far, none of the questions have actually been addressed to him, so officially he is still maintaining his position.
She gulps a breath of air and finishes with, " AND WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU PUT HIM IN YOUR PURSE?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notes to Reviewers:
TreeHugger: He has quite the sense of humor when it comes to playing make believe! I have seen him do the foot shifting many times, almost always when he is impatient about something, like waiting to use the bathroom or waiting for the door to be opened. He is often like a small boy in his antics. Thanks for beta'ing for me and for all the other things you do! Are these,,,,,,,,, yours?
Mom: No slash and no more "Elvis Barbie whine" for you either! You're gonna get arrested for driving the new SUV under the influence. Might as well give the keys to Legolas and let him drive it.
Endomiel: good to hear from you again! Little Pip has 2 Ken dolls, but no action men. Legolas still would prefer the Barbie doll I think, though there is nothing remotely feminine about his play. It reminds me of what life in the House of Thranduil may have involved for him as a young male elf, just all in a day's work for the Prance of Mirkwood.
MagicalRachel: Frodo is a Baggins after all, and we all saw how much Bilbo lays out for a spread in FOTR! I'll bet Frodo could eat you out of house and. . . well, closet!
laure: Wow, 2 chapter reviews from you! Legolas wanted to answer you himself, "Tin men tu stoep laffin? Woew! Dat is kwite aen akomplashmant. Whut deed da tin men due tu git u tu stoep? Thaenk u fur da komplamant. Hoew beeg iz ur buuk aniwae?"
spamgoddess: No, Peter Sellars isn't quite what he sounds like, but whatever rocks your boat! Hope this makes your weekend more bearable too!
Elvea Aure aka Amanfalathiel: Legolas was more calm reading your review thie time, thought he is still quite shifty eyed when he sees your name come up. He says he did not know Sauron had a twin sister, and he thinks that was not fair for Sauron's poor mother at all.
sapzberry: Legolas sends a hug just for you! Glad you liked it-there's more on the way!
Sake: I feel better knowing you and Cecil will rescue me. As you see, Pip got quite a surprise and Yes Dear's surprise is on the way!
PuterPatty: Not embarrassed in the least-he was waiting for me to play Barbie too! It was VERY cool! Scared him good with the car, but no need for CPR-not yet anyway!
Daisy: I will put you on the daycare list. It is nice to know I have some volunteers to help with him!
Skye Rocket: Legolas wants to know "R u okae? Deed u git huert whin u faentd?"
SarWolf Snape: Legolas nad I love tea parties too! He is quite a character. It is always something around here.
Artanis: Glad you came over to read my life story! This is sort of like a live journal, don't you think? I saw FOTR 24 times in 5 different cities before it left the theater. Then I had withdrawal for 5 weeks waiting for the DVD. That is another whole chapter in itself!
* * * * * * * * * *
Don't forget to tell Legolas how much you like his life story! He really enjoys hearing from all of you. He is very lonely for his home and friends from Middle Earth, and your comments really help to cheer him up! Thank you for showing how much you care by clicking the review button below!
A/N: My heart is breaking! I cracked my DVD disc! *wipes tears away* Be very careful when you push the disc down into the little holder-there was a pop noise and my DVD disc now has 3 little cracks running outward from the center hole! It still plays, but if anyone sees PJ please tell him I would like another one, after all I went 24 times to see it, doesn't loyalty count for anything?
At least the extended version will be here in just another month or so. *sighs*
Nope. Still can't say I own him, though I should get credit for keeping him out of trouble as long as I have so far. Oh yeah, thoughts are in ~ ~ this time.
* * * * * * * * * *
Little Pip is very excited to hear there will be a surprise for her, as all children are. "What is it, Momma?" she asks, not able to contain her curiosity.
"If I tell you now it won't be a surprise when we get home, will it?"
She gives The Drama Queen sigh. "No, I guess not."
"Finish your homework on the ride home, then you will be ready to play when you get there," I suggest.
As we drive, I see a blonde head and a pair of bright blue eyes peering over the top of the third row seat back. Legolas is carefully checking out Pip. I realize the only time he may have seen her would be in a photograph or in a quick glimpse as she passed by the closet door, which she doesn't do all that often. Thank Goodness she is concentrating hard on her homework and does not notice the scrutiny coming from behind her.
She finishes just as we are turning onto our street. I give Legolas the warning eye in the rear view mirror, and he ducks back down into his hiding place.
Pip is out of the car, scurrying into the house in anticipation of her surprise. Legolas is half out behind her before I catch him. "Wait here for just a second," I tell him. " I want her to have a chance to look into your closet before you come in."
He nods his head, blonde tresses waving gently. " I weel stae rite hear unteel u kum bak."
She passes the kitchen table, throws her bookbag on the couch, and turns to face me. "OK, I'm ready!" she proclaims.
~~Oh boy, NO you are NOT!~~ I think to myself.
"About your surprise. . . " I begin. "You remember the other night when we went to Greenwood to the movies?"
She nods and continues staring at me, blue eyes wide with a big anticipatory grin gracing her lips.
"Well, I brought something . . . let's call it 'unusual', home," I tell her. "You aren't going to believe this, but . . . " I hesitate, trying to be certain I am doing the right thing. As I pause, I see out of the corner of my eye a figure peering out of the back window of the van, patiently awaiting his fate. Yes, it is time. Legolas must come out of the closet today.
". . .when we were at the movie theater the other night, I brought Legolas home in my purse."
"Momma, you are too much," Pip says.
"I'm serious. He fell out of the movie screen, and I picked him up and put him in my purse and brought him home." She gives me that look all parents know, the one that says 'Yes, its really true, my parents ARE aliens from the planet Quark.'
After a few moments trying to figure out why I have not cracked up laughing, she begins to think that I might just be delusional enough to have actually tried to pull this off.
"Are you serious?" she asks in a dubious voice.
"Yep." I answer.
She ponders how this could have happened, knowing full well she was there and yet never saw anything out of the ordinary. "Well, then why haven't I seen him? Where are you keeping him?"
"I snuck him into the closet in my room."
"I don't believe you," she says, folding her arms across her chest.
"Then go see for yourself."
She hesitates. There is something about her mother's attitude that says caution is in order; this crazy turn of events might actually be happening right under her nose. She turns, and with big strides goes down the hallway to the bedroom across from her own. The sight on the floor in front of her stops her.
"LEGOLAS!!!!" she bellows. "Those are MY Barbie dolls!" After a moments pause, taking in that there is no actual damage to her personal effects, she starts to plunder through the clothes in the closet, searching.
"He is not in there!" she turns and confronts me, angry that her dolls have been disturbed. Honestly, you'd have thought he had bitten the heads off of them she was so upset.
"Of course not. I took him with me to pick you up from school. He's still in the car."
"He is not! I would have seen him!" she replies, indignant.
"He is trained in hiding skills. No one could see him unless he wanted them to." I wait, watching the wheels turn in her 9 year old brain. She wants to believe, she really does, but she is pretty certain at this point that her old mom is ready for the funny farm.
"I still don't believe you," she says.
I give her a moment, then ask, "Would you like to meet him?" She nods yes, and I take her by the hand, leading her to the back storm door and pointing to the van.
"He is in there. Wait right here for a moment and I'll go get him."
"Well, ok," she replies, once again folding her arms across her chest, standing at the door watching the van like a hawk.
Out I go, around to the side sliding door of the van. When I open the door, however, there is no Elf there. None. Nada. ~~ Don't panic, he can't have gone far~~ my mind screams at me.
"Legolas?" I call. "LEGOLAS?"
"Yeas?" He is so close he startles me. I must have deafened his elven ears calling him that loudly. I honestly expected to be hunting the neighborhood looking for him.
"Don't scare me like that!" I tell him.
"I em soerrie. I deed nod meen tu skeer u," he replies. "Kin I kum een noew?"
"It's ok," I say. "Please do come in now, Little Pip wants to meet you."
He unfolds himself from his hiding place in the back of the van, and I wonder how he managed to camouflage himself like that. He really was in plain view, but I never saw him.
As he stands to his full height, I take the opportunity to glance at the storm door. Little Pip has dropped her arms to her sides, and her mouth is hanging wide open, her eyeballs popping from their sockets.
As I open the door to let us in, one long, drawn out whispered word emerges; no longer a name, but now a figure of speech, " momma. . . "
"Little Pip, meet Prance Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood. Prance Legolas, meet Little Pip."
"Verrie pleezd tu meat u, Leddle Peep," says the Prance with a sweeping bow.
She stares at him unresponding, eyes scanning him the entire 6 feet of his height, taking in the blonde hair, the hunter green tunic, the soft elven boots, the leather bracers on his forearms. After a few moments she asks skeptically, "Where are your bow and arrows?"
He points to the weapons still lying on the kitchen table.
She eyeballs me again. "Is this some kind of trick?" she asks.
"No. Not at all. In fact, I think it would be easier if it were a trick. "
I see her wheels start turning again, and I get ready because I know what is coming next. Legolas cuts a glance in my direction, as if asking what he should do now. I slightly raise my hand, indicating for him to hold his position. He nods ok back to me. Here it comes.
"What has he been eating? When does he sleep? Where does he go when Daddy opens the closet door? How does he go to the bathroom?" She pauses to take a breath, and then the biggest question of all comes, "Why in the world did you do this?!
I've been sneaking food in there to him."
"Yes," she begins again, "but just WHAT does he eat? Where does he put the dishes when he is done with them? Do we have the right kind of food for him? Does he drink water or tea?
"I have been.." I start, only to be hit by another wave of questions.
"Did he sleep in the closet last night? Why not in the spare bedroom? Did you give him a blanket? Did he bring his teddy bear?"
"Has Daddy seen him yet? Where does he hide when you open the closet door? What will he wear when you need to wash his clothes? My, he IS a little dirty for an Elf, isn't he?"
She begins anew, "Does he have his own hairbrush? How did you sneak him to the bathroom without Daddy seeing him? Does he leave the seat up or down when he uses the toilet? Has he tried my new shampoo and conditioner yet?
Legolas looks from me to Pip to me again. He is blinking his eyes, unsure where this interrogation is going. He is aware that so far, none of the questions have actually been addressed to him, so officially he is still maintaining his position.
She gulps a breath of air and finishes with, " AND WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU PUT HIM IN YOUR PURSE?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notes to Reviewers:
TreeHugger: He has quite the sense of humor when it comes to playing make believe! I have seen him do the foot shifting many times, almost always when he is impatient about something, like waiting to use the bathroom or waiting for the door to be opened. He is often like a small boy in his antics. Thanks for beta'ing for me and for all the other things you do! Are these,,,,,,,,, yours?
Mom: No slash and no more "Elvis Barbie whine" for you either! You're gonna get arrested for driving the new SUV under the influence. Might as well give the keys to Legolas and let him drive it.
Endomiel: good to hear from you again! Little Pip has 2 Ken dolls, but no action men. Legolas still would prefer the Barbie doll I think, though there is nothing remotely feminine about his play. It reminds me of what life in the House of Thranduil may have involved for him as a young male elf, just all in a day's work for the Prance of Mirkwood.
MagicalRachel: Frodo is a Baggins after all, and we all saw how much Bilbo lays out for a spread in FOTR! I'll bet Frodo could eat you out of house and. . . well, closet!
laure: Wow, 2 chapter reviews from you! Legolas wanted to answer you himself, "Tin men tu stoep laffin? Woew! Dat is kwite aen akomplashmant. Whut deed da tin men due tu git u tu stoep? Thaenk u fur da komplamant. Hoew beeg iz ur buuk aniwae?"
spamgoddess: No, Peter Sellars isn't quite what he sounds like, but whatever rocks your boat! Hope this makes your weekend more bearable too!
Elvea Aure aka Amanfalathiel: Legolas was more calm reading your review thie time, thought he is still quite shifty eyed when he sees your name come up. He says he did not know Sauron had a twin sister, and he thinks that was not fair for Sauron's poor mother at all.
sapzberry: Legolas sends a hug just for you! Glad you liked it-there's more on the way!
Sake: I feel better knowing you and Cecil will rescue me. As you see, Pip got quite a surprise and Yes Dear's surprise is on the way!
PuterPatty: Not embarrassed in the least-he was waiting for me to play Barbie too! It was VERY cool! Scared him good with the car, but no need for CPR-not yet anyway!
Daisy: I will put you on the daycare list. It is nice to know I have some volunteers to help with him!
Skye Rocket: Legolas wants to know "R u okae? Deed u git huert whin u faentd?"
SarWolf Snape: Legolas nad I love tea parties too! He is quite a character. It is always something around here.
Artanis: Glad you came over to read my life story! This is sort of like a live journal, don't you think? I saw FOTR 24 times in 5 different cities before it left the theater. Then I had withdrawal for 5 weeks waiting for the DVD. That is another whole chapter in itself!
* * * * * * * * * *
Don't forget to tell Legolas how much you like his life story! He really enjoys hearing from all of you. He is very lonely for his home and friends from Middle Earth, and your comments really help to cheer him up! Thank you for showing how much you care by clicking the review button below!