Chapter 13 Right There I Had Him, Right There I Lost Him
"U deed not tael me dey goe uendr da paentz! U sed 'bokzerz oer breefz, Legolas?' I haed tu gess, an I thot dat becuz dey wer soe brietly culord, dat dey muest goe oen da top of da pantz!"
I stifle my laughter, as he is already embarrassed about the mix-up. "You are right, Legolas, I should have been more specific. Now go change into your other clothes, the ones you wore to come here. This time though, put the colored underwear on first, UNDER your pants!"
I go over to the Junior's section to collect Little Pip. She has found an entire wardrobe of clothing she just cannot live without. I think the teen years have hit us about 4 years early. I let her keep one of the tops she has picked out, and we head back across the aisle to meet Legolas.
Except there is no Legolas. After a quick search through Men's Wear, I check the dressing rooms, heedless of whether anyone else is in there or not. No Legolas, no clothing that looks anything like what he was trying on. He is gone, vanished.
"Stay calm," I say to myself. "He has to be here somewhere."
Little Pip and I check the surrounding areas. He's not in Women's Wear, Lingerie, or the Children's Departments. I am getting more anxious by the minute. How do you lose a 6 foot tall elf in a department store?
We split up. Little Pip goes to jewelry, I go to shoes. There are no elves in the workboots, none in the flip-flops, no Legolas admiring the strappy eveningwear sandals.
Maybe he's spotted the artificial flowers in Crafts, I think. A quick check reveals what I know in my heart to be true. Legolas is not into crafts.
Little Pip is still in the jewelry section, admiring the Scooby Doo watches. "I want one of these for my birthday," she says.
"Did you see him?" I frantically whisper.
"Who?" she says, looking around.
"Legolas!" I hiss. Ooops, quiet al, don't want the employees to suspect something is going on. Not yet, anyway.
"Oh, him. Nope, he's not here," she says. "I'll bet he's looking at Barbies."
"THAT"S IT!" I exclaim, madly dashing cart and all down the center aisle, turning right and careening towards Toys. I screech the tires as I come past the endcap with the Barbie display, only to skid to a halt in shock.
Legolas is not looking at Barbies.
I am going into panic mode now. I can't even think straight. Someone has kidnapped him! is the only thought I can comprehend. I am breaking out in a cold sweat.
Little Pip catches up to me. "Did you try the hair accessories?" she asks. "You know how he loves to do Barbie's hair."
Yes, hair accessories! He has to be in hair accessories. There's just nowhere else he could be. My mind grasps on to that thought like a drowning woman with a life preserver.
Rushing across the aisle, I discover my worst nightmare was nothing compared to this. Legolas is not looking for hair accessories, nor shopping for new fragrances of shampoo.
He is gone. Vanished into thin air. I have visions of a scruffy-looking, dark, smelly man with his hand clamped over Legolas' mouth, dragging him out of the store through some hidden back door.
I assume full human warrior woman mode. If that is the case, then I will find him. I will hunt the bad man down and strangle him barehanded. Woe to him who messes with my own.
Then the Walmart sales associate rounds the corner and, sensing my state of duress, he asks, "How may I help you?"
"I've lost somebody!" I cry. Warrior Woman is now long gone and distressed mother of small children is kicking in. I am so terrified I will never see him again that tears have sprung to my eyes and my hands are shaking.
"Calm down, ma'am. We'll find him." He picks up his walkie talkie thing on his belt. Must be one of the managers, my mind registers.
"We've got a Code Adam. Description to follow," he says. Over the public address system comes a woman's voice "Code Adam. Attention all employees, we have a Code Adam."
He turns to me. "What was he wearing, honey?" he asks.
"Blue jeans, and a black T-shirt that is a little too big for him. And he has on a Mark Martin baseball cap," I sob.
"Don't worry, honey, we're gonna find him," he reassures me, before passing on the information to the other department heads.
Within seconds, every store employee in Walmart has dropped whatever they were doing and is searching for Legolas. Employees are posted at each door, in each aisle, searching bathrooms and dressing rooms, and every other nook and cranny in the place. The fact that 5 minutes go by and they still have not found him does NOT make me feel any better. The store manager walks me up to the courtesy counter so the first one to spot him will be able to escort him straight to me.
After 10 minutes, the manager asks for more information as he hangs up the telephone after dialing the local police. "What color did you say his hair was?"
"It's a pale blonde. And it's really long like mine," I add.
He does a double take. "Did you say long like yours?" he asks.
I nod yes.
He grabs up the public address microphone again, and announces to the whole store, "On our Code Adam, we have additional information. Change that description to a male with long blonde hair."
He smiles at me. "That should turn him up, honey, " he says. "I'll just bet with that long hair, someone has seen him but not realized that is who we are looking for, because you don't see too many boys with long blonde hair around here."
I hear the sound of sirens drawing near, and soon there are enough police officers in the store to have a town parade. I recognize several of our local volunteer firefighters as well. It's a small town, and we have never had a real Code Adam here before. Shoot, a cat having kittens in a drainpipe is almost as exciting for them.
Sheriff Brown leads the way over to the courtesy counter. He goes to my church, so I am forever grateful to see him. He speaks briefly to the manager, then smiling, turns to me, "I didn't know you had a little boy, too?"
Oh. Oh no. They have been searching for a little boy. Legolas hardly qualifies as a little boy. "I don't have a little boy, I just have my one little girl," I answer.
A puzzled look passes across his face. "Well, then," he says kindly, "who are we looking for?"
"My friend Legolas. He's not from here, and he's never been in a Walmart before," I explain.
"You said 'Legolas'?"
"Yes," I say.
Sheriff Brown regroups to think about that one for a second. "Ok," he says to the manager after a bit of chin rubbing, "let's try calling Legolas on the PA and asking him to come to the courtesy counter." They are all looking at me a bit strangely. Fortunately, we do not have a movie theater in this town, and the probability of any of these people having seen THE MOVIE or read Tolkien's books is very low. The name does not seem to ring a bell with any of them, and only seems to draw attention because most of the men present have names like Bubba, Fred, Junior, and Billy Bob.
"Attention please," says the voice over the PA system, "if Legolas is in the building, would he please come to the front courtesy counter? His friend is looking for him."
Not a full minute passes by before I hear his voice asking, "Eggskuze me, bud culd u tael me whur I kin fiend da kurtsy cowntr?"
I am out of my seat and halfway through the crowd of people toward him before he finishes the sentence. As the volunteers and safety personnel and employees and customers and policemen part to let me by, I realize why no one picked up on any of my descriptions. Well, besides the fact that he is 6 feet tall.
He's still wearing the blue jeans (Thank the Lord, without the underwear on top!) and the black Styx T-shirt, but his hair is still tucked up underneath the baseball cap. Which does NOT say Mark Martin Racing as I had described.
The cap currently perched on top of the tucked up, barely showing, pale blonde locks of Legolas Greenleaf says, in big bold letters, "Viagra."
There are some snickers from the crowd, and a couple of the guys I do not know are leering suggestively, some at me and some at Legolas. I wonder how long it will take the rumor to get back to Yes Dear that his wife has a pretty boy on the side.
I don't care. I run to Legolas, and hug him tight. "Where have you been?" I ask. "I have been looking all over for you!"
He grins wide enough to split his face in half. "Deed u noe dey hav a hole buench of leedle laekz oen da wall wid leedle feeshez en dem?" He gestures with his hands. "Dey are all like dis beeg, an eech won haz a deefrint kiend of feesh een it! Com oen, I weel shoew u!" He grabs my hand and starts to pull me to the back of the store.
I pull back, and stop him. "Just a minute," I say. I turn back to Sheriff Brown and the store manager. "Thank you for helping me find him," I tell them. "You don't know what this means to me to have him back."
Sheriff Brown is the first to recover. "Where exactly did you say he was from?" he asks skeptically.
"Oh, he's a foreign exchange student from uhhmmm.. Switzerland," I lie. "Tiny city, nobody's ever heard of it, no TV or radios or anything." I turn back to Legolas. "Let's go look at those fish."
I think to myself as he pulls me excitedly to the Pet's Department that if I got him a cell phone and had him keep it in his pocket, we wouldn't have had this whole problem. I could have just dialed him up and followed the ring to find him.
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Notes to Reviewers:
Gramma Laedee: I weel bea waden bie da doar fur u tu com! Peepin haz a beeg sleapober paerty plaennd. We weel bea plaeyn faeshin shoew an kozmeatolugy skoou! I em soe eggsited!
TreeHugger: Hae Trea! Hae Elu! Iz Ranger ouet of haenkeez yeat? I waent tu taek sum of dis kaendee fur Araporn an Gimlee tu trie. Mebbe I culd traed it tu da Oerkz fur Maerry an Peepin? *Hi Elu! Yes, I think there are some robots that could be as bad as orcs, and some bad people too out there.* Hae agin Elu! al deed noet sae tu puet dem UENdr da paentz!!! U noe, I thot I herd a noize de othr nite dat soended lika a shreek. Wuz dat Trea? Deed u sea da moovee Deeveedee, or wuz dat Trea thankin of me en my neu bokzerz an breefz?
SarWolf Snape: Hae! *wavz an bloez a kees* Dat Waelmaert haz all kinz of stuef I nead! I neber neu u kuld hav 2 deeferant kinz of uendrwaer!
Sake: I due like wachin misef een da moovee. Eggsept fur dat paert goen tu Lothlorien whur I wuz all deerty an Araporn wuldn't stoep tu tak a baf. al haz an akshun feegur of me, but she woent let me plae wid misef.
JastaElf: Ada, I sed it wuz a liest of thatnz I wuld NOET due. Dere ar sum thangz I thank Irena waentz tu teech me wid a net an a roep, but dey ar noet on da liest yeat. al sed I culd goe sea Haery Podder suun. We had Sam, an he wuz perty haery, but noet az haery az Boromeer an Araporn.
Puter Patty: Bokzerz or breefz? Dat iz whie al bot me won of eech. I em geddin vary guud at Huegz, keesez, Easkeemoz, an I luv u's noew. Whut's a Loeng Shaenk?
Eve Eastborne: Hae! I meesed u! I due noet noe abot machez, we oenly haed steekz an roeckz caelled fleent. I em an Elf Worrier, nuthin skaerz me! *BOO, Legolas!* WAAAHHH!! Stoep dat, al!!
gershwin: Hear iz won of Elrondz read haenkeez fur u. U kin oerder dem frum Ranger if u nead moer, but TreaHueggr haz oerderd soe menny dey mit bea on bak oerdr bie noew. I hoep ur TV fealz bedder suun! *huegz an keeses tu u!*
Loopy4_1: Haldeer likez tu hav eberibuddy groavelin at heez feat. He thankz he iz bedder dan eberybuddy ealse. He likez yaenkin my chaen ebery chaence he gitz. I thank I weel entroduse heem to Irena, an sea whut she kin due wid heem.
Katherine: *cuddlz fur u* I wuz reedin. . .*ahem* abot da tiem dat me an Araporn . . .*ahem* wear een da wuudz aloen *cough* al grabs keyboard, No more of that I said!
Elvea Aure aka Amanfalathiel: I luv da boew! An espacelly da culurd paeprkleep neklase! I em goen hoem Dec 18!
Ithinkineedanewname: Thaenkz fur luvin me enuf tu puet me oen ur faevoritz paeg! Doez beeg mierrorz ar sumptin! Emagene, a hunnerd Legolas' all een a roew. . . .
Hypy: Ar u okae? Due u nead sum Sea Pee Ar? I weel seand al rite over, okae?
Endomiel: I dunnoe abot waren uendrwaer on da toep of da klohz, but eberybuddy likez dere uendrwaer tu steek oed of dere paentz hear!
laure: Naezguul, hueh?! U kint skare me! I em an Elf Worrier! Nuthin skaerz me! *oh, yeah, baby (c al), we know all about how brave you are, Legolas. Just wait a couple of chapters and you will all see.* Doen't tael dat! U wuldn't daer!
Magical Rachel: Pleeze doen't krie! I weel bea hear a leedle wile loengr. It iz steel waerm hear. *senz u a hueg an a kees tu waerm u up! *Hey, Rachel-SUPER catch on the reference to OB, but WHICH ONE did you catch??!! al winks and sends you a Keebler Elf cookie!*
IRENA: DERE U AR!!! I hab bean luukin fur u all ober. I meesed u! Kin I jest ware my leagginz whin u shoew up? I doen't hav eny tietz, an Pepinz ar tu smaell fur me. I luv superizez! I weel com an sea u tu git myne befour I goe, okae? Iz Fuloerida uep or doewn frum hear? Uep? Doewn? Uep? Doewn? *sighs*
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Hurry and push the little button below to leave a message for Legolas! We are on a tight schedule here, so I hope to have another chapter for you by the weekend. Only a month left to go! Hush, Tree, I can hear you bawling from here! He HAS to go back, I've explained it a million times!
"U deed not tael me dey goe uendr da paentz! U sed 'bokzerz oer breefz, Legolas?' I haed tu gess, an I thot dat becuz dey wer soe brietly culord, dat dey muest goe oen da top of da pantz!"
I stifle my laughter, as he is already embarrassed about the mix-up. "You are right, Legolas, I should have been more specific. Now go change into your other clothes, the ones you wore to come here. This time though, put the colored underwear on first, UNDER your pants!"
I go over to the Junior's section to collect Little Pip. She has found an entire wardrobe of clothing she just cannot live without. I think the teen years have hit us about 4 years early. I let her keep one of the tops she has picked out, and we head back across the aisle to meet Legolas.
Except there is no Legolas. After a quick search through Men's Wear, I check the dressing rooms, heedless of whether anyone else is in there or not. No Legolas, no clothing that looks anything like what he was trying on. He is gone, vanished.
"Stay calm," I say to myself. "He has to be here somewhere."
Little Pip and I check the surrounding areas. He's not in Women's Wear, Lingerie, or the Children's Departments. I am getting more anxious by the minute. How do you lose a 6 foot tall elf in a department store?
We split up. Little Pip goes to jewelry, I go to shoes. There are no elves in the workboots, none in the flip-flops, no Legolas admiring the strappy eveningwear sandals.
Maybe he's spotted the artificial flowers in Crafts, I think. A quick check reveals what I know in my heart to be true. Legolas is not into crafts.
Little Pip is still in the jewelry section, admiring the Scooby Doo watches. "I want one of these for my birthday," she says.
"Did you see him?" I frantically whisper.
"Who?" she says, looking around.
"Legolas!" I hiss. Ooops, quiet al, don't want the employees to suspect something is going on. Not yet, anyway.
"Oh, him. Nope, he's not here," she says. "I'll bet he's looking at Barbies."
"THAT"S IT!" I exclaim, madly dashing cart and all down the center aisle, turning right and careening towards Toys. I screech the tires as I come past the endcap with the Barbie display, only to skid to a halt in shock.
Legolas is not looking at Barbies.
I am going into panic mode now. I can't even think straight. Someone has kidnapped him! is the only thought I can comprehend. I am breaking out in a cold sweat.
Little Pip catches up to me. "Did you try the hair accessories?" she asks. "You know how he loves to do Barbie's hair."
Yes, hair accessories! He has to be in hair accessories. There's just nowhere else he could be. My mind grasps on to that thought like a drowning woman with a life preserver.
Rushing across the aisle, I discover my worst nightmare was nothing compared to this. Legolas is not looking for hair accessories, nor shopping for new fragrances of shampoo.
He is gone. Vanished into thin air. I have visions of a scruffy-looking, dark, smelly man with his hand clamped over Legolas' mouth, dragging him out of the store through some hidden back door.
I assume full human warrior woman mode. If that is the case, then I will find him. I will hunt the bad man down and strangle him barehanded. Woe to him who messes with my own.
Then the Walmart sales associate rounds the corner and, sensing my state of duress, he asks, "How may I help you?"
"I've lost somebody!" I cry. Warrior Woman is now long gone and distressed mother of small children is kicking in. I am so terrified I will never see him again that tears have sprung to my eyes and my hands are shaking.
"Calm down, ma'am. We'll find him." He picks up his walkie talkie thing on his belt. Must be one of the managers, my mind registers.
"We've got a Code Adam. Description to follow," he says. Over the public address system comes a woman's voice "Code Adam. Attention all employees, we have a Code Adam."
He turns to me. "What was he wearing, honey?" he asks.
"Blue jeans, and a black T-shirt that is a little too big for him. And he has on a Mark Martin baseball cap," I sob.
"Don't worry, honey, we're gonna find him," he reassures me, before passing on the information to the other department heads.
Within seconds, every store employee in Walmart has dropped whatever they were doing and is searching for Legolas. Employees are posted at each door, in each aisle, searching bathrooms and dressing rooms, and every other nook and cranny in the place. The fact that 5 minutes go by and they still have not found him does NOT make me feel any better. The store manager walks me up to the courtesy counter so the first one to spot him will be able to escort him straight to me.
After 10 minutes, the manager asks for more information as he hangs up the telephone after dialing the local police. "What color did you say his hair was?"
"It's a pale blonde. And it's really long like mine," I add.
He does a double take. "Did you say long like yours?" he asks.
I nod yes.
He grabs up the public address microphone again, and announces to the whole store, "On our Code Adam, we have additional information. Change that description to a male with long blonde hair."
He smiles at me. "That should turn him up, honey, " he says. "I'll just bet with that long hair, someone has seen him but not realized that is who we are looking for, because you don't see too many boys with long blonde hair around here."
I hear the sound of sirens drawing near, and soon there are enough police officers in the store to have a town parade. I recognize several of our local volunteer firefighters as well. It's a small town, and we have never had a real Code Adam here before. Shoot, a cat having kittens in a drainpipe is almost as exciting for them.
Sheriff Brown leads the way over to the courtesy counter. He goes to my church, so I am forever grateful to see him. He speaks briefly to the manager, then smiling, turns to me, "I didn't know you had a little boy, too?"
Oh. Oh no. They have been searching for a little boy. Legolas hardly qualifies as a little boy. "I don't have a little boy, I just have my one little girl," I answer.
A puzzled look passes across his face. "Well, then," he says kindly, "who are we looking for?"
"My friend Legolas. He's not from here, and he's never been in a Walmart before," I explain.
"You said 'Legolas'?"
"Yes," I say.
Sheriff Brown regroups to think about that one for a second. "Ok," he says to the manager after a bit of chin rubbing, "let's try calling Legolas on the PA and asking him to come to the courtesy counter." They are all looking at me a bit strangely. Fortunately, we do not have a movie theater in this town, and the probability of any of these people having seen THE MOVIE or read Tolkien's books is very low. The name does not seem to ring a bell with any of them, and only seems to draw attention because most of the men present have names like Bubba, Fred, Junior, and Billy Bob.
"Attention please," says the voice over the PA system, "if Legolas is in the building, would he please come to the front courtesy counter? His friend is looking for him."
Not a full minute passes by before I hear his voice asking, "Eggskuze me, bud culd u tael me whur I kin fiend da kurtsy cowntr?"
I am out of my seat and halfway through the crowd of people toward him before he finishes the sentence. As the volunteers and safety personnel and employees and customers and policemen part to let me by, I realize why no one picked up on any of my descriptions. Well, besides the fact that he is 6 feet tall.
He's still wearing the blue jeans (Thank the Lord, without the underwear on top!) and the black Styx T-shirt, but his hair is still tucked up underneath the baseball cap. Which does NOT say Mark Martin Racing as I had described.
The cap currently perched on top of the tucked up, barely showing, pale blonde locks of Legolas Greenleaf says, in big bold letters, "Viagra."
There are some snickers from the crowd, and a couple of the guys I do not know are leering suggestively, some at me and some at Legolas. I wonder how long it will take the rumor to get back to Yes Dear that his wife has a pretty boy on the side.
I don't care. I run to Legolas, and hug him tight. "Where have you been?" I ask. "I have been looking all over for you!"
He grins wide enough to split his face in half. "Deed u noe dey hav a hole buench of leedle laekz oen da wall wid leedle feeshez en dem?" He gestures with his hands. "Dey are all like dis beeg, an eech won haz a deefrint kiend of feesh een it! Com oen, I weel shoew u!" He grabs my hand and starts to pull me to the back of the store.
I pull back, and stop him. "Just a minute," I say. I turn back to Sheriff Brown and the store manager. "Thank you for helping me find him," I tell them. "You don't know what this means to me to have him back."
Sheriff Brown is the first to recover. "Where exactly did you say he was from?" he asks skeptically.
"Oh, he's a foreign exchange student from uhhmmm.. Switzerland," I lie. "Tiny city, nobody's ever heard of it, no TV or radios or anything." I turn back to Legolas. "Let's go look at those fish."
I think to myself as he pulls me excitedly to the Pet's Department that if I got him a cell phone and had him keep it in his pocket, we wouldn't have had this whole problem. I could have just dialed him up and followed the ring to find him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notes to Reviewers:
Gramma Laedee: I weel bea waden bie da doar fur u tu com! Peepin haz a beeg sleapober paerty plaennd. We weel bea plaeyn faeshin shoew an kozmeatolugy skoou! I em soe eggsited!
TreeHugger: Hae Trea! Hae Elu! Iz Ranger ouet of haenkeez yeat? I waent tu taek sum of dis kaendee fur Araporn an Gimlee tu trie. Mebbe I culd traed it tu da Oerkz fur Maerry an Peepin? *Hi Elu! Yes, I think there are some robots that could be as bad as orcs, and some bad people too out there.* Hae agin Elu! al deed noet sae tu puet dem UENdr da paentz!!! U noe, I thot I herd a noize de othr nite dat soended lika a shreek. Wuz dat Trea? Deed u sea da moovee Deeveedee, or wuz dat Trea thankin of me en my neu bokzerz an breefz?
SarWolf Snape: Hae! *wavz an bloez a kees* Dat Waelmaert haz all kinz of stuef I nead! I neber neu u kuld hav 2 deeferant kinz of uendrwaer!
Sake: I due like wachin misef een da moovee. Eggsept fur dat paert goen tu Lothlorien whur I wuz all deerty an Araporn wuldn't stoep tu tak a baf. al haz an akshun feegur of me, but she woent let me plae wid misef.
JastaElf: Ada, I sed it wuz a liest of thatnz I wuld NOET due. Dere ar sum thangz I thank Irena waentz tu teech me wid a net an a roep, but dey ar noet on da liest yeat. al sed I culd goe sea Haery Podder suun. We had Sam, an he wuz perty haery, but noet az haery az Boromeer an Araporn.
Puter Patty: Bokzerz or breefz? Dat iz whie al bot me won of eech. I em geddin vary guud at Huegz, keesez, Easkeemoz, an I luv u's noew. Whut's a Loeng Shaenk?
Eve Eastborne: Hae! I meesed u! I due noet noe abot machez, we oenly haed steekz an roeckz caelled fleent. I em an Elf Worrier, nuthin skaerz me! *BOO, Legolas!* WAAAHHH!! Stoep dat, al!!
gershwin: Hear iz won of Elrondz read haenkeez fur u. U kin oerder dem frum Ranger if u nead moer, but TreaHueggr haz oerderd soe menny dey mit bea on bak oerdr bie noew. I hoep ur TV fealz bedder suun! *huegz an keeses tu u!*
Loopy4_1: Haldeer likez tu hav eberibuddy groavelin at heez feat. He thankz he iz bedder dan eberybuddy ealse. He likez yaenkin my chaen ebery chaence he gitz. I thank I weel entroduse heem to Irena, an sea whut she kin due wid heem.
Katherine: *cuddlz fur u* I wuz reedin. . .*ahem* abot da tiem dat me an Araporn . . .*ahem* wear een da wuudz aloen *cough* al grabs keyboard, No more of that I said!
Elvea Aure aka Amanfalathiel: I luv da boew! An espacelly da culurd paeprkleep neklase! I em goen hoem Dec 18!
Ithinkineedanewname: Thaenkz fur luvin me enuf tu puet me oen ur faevoritz paeg! Doez beeg mierrorz ar sumptin! Emagene, a hunnerd Legolas' all een a roew. . . .
Hypy: Ar u okae? Due u nead sum Sea Pee Ar? I weel seand al rite over, okae?
Endomiel: I dunnoe abot waren uendrwaer on da toep of da klohz, but eberybuddy likez dere uendrwaer tu steek oed of dere paentz hear!
laure: Naezguul, hueh?! U kint skare me! I em an Elf Worrier! Nuthin skaerz me! *oh, yeah, baby (c al), we know all about how brave you are, Legolas. Just wait a couple of chapters and you will all see.* Doen't tael dat! U wuldn't daer!
Magical Rachel: Pleeze doen't krie! I weel bea hear a leedle wile loengr. It iz steel waerm hear. *senz u a hueg an a kees tu waerm u up! *Hey, Rachel-SUPER catch on the reference to OB, but WHICH ONE did you catch??!! al winks and sends you a Keebler Elf cookie!*
IRENA: DERE U AR!!! I hab bean luukin fur u all ober. I meesed u! Kin I jest ware my leagginz whin u shoew up? I doen't hav eny tietz, an Pepinz ar tu smaell fur me. I luv superizez! I weel com an sea u tu git myne befour I goe, okae? Iz Fuloerida uep or doewn frum hear? Uep? Doewn? Uep? Doewn? *sighs*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hurry and push the little button below to leave a message for Legolas! We are on a tight schedule here, so I hope to have another chapter for you by the weekend. Only a month left to go! Hush, Tree, I can hear you bawling from here! He HAS to go back, I've explained it a million times!