Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. All characters and other related materials is the property of Gainax.
Nothing. Nothing at all. Bliss, perhaps? Yes. Surely that was it. It was like floating; moving swiftly upward. There was no attachment, nothing holding him back. He was free, perfectly, absolutely free. It was the kind of feeling that people wished they could feel their entire lives, never knowing that it would always be beyond them, just over the next hill, just passed the next cloud, somewhere over the rainbow. But he had it, yes he did, and it was wonderful. Perhaps he could see, perhaps not. Visions? Maybe. It was different than that. Unlike other things. Things? What were they? He was not even sure anymore…it all seemed far away to him, as if it had taken place millions of years in the past. He wondered if he held an expression, or, did it matter? What is matter? Thoughts…hmm. It was beautiful, places and realities never seen by others. This place was wonderful, yes, it is.
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Rei Ayanami sat with her husband on a park bench overlooking the bay. It was a gray night, dismal and bleak. Neither person spoke. Rei found herself grappling with the events of the prior day. It had all happened so fast, too fast for her to react. The speech ended and he started to walk away, and then…the Wraiths. They had attacked, six of them at once. They had aimed for Asuka, but Shinji had taken the blow. He had died valiantly; died as the hero all knew he was, except for perhaps himself. She had watched the blade in silent horror as it entered his chest and passed all the way through his body cavity to emerge from the other side. And then there had been the man in black. He had protected Asuka from the continuous onslaught of the Wraiths. And then, he had turned and saw that Shinji had been struck down. What had occurred next had been truly bizarre. He had extended his arms, somehow pulling disembodied AT fields to his side. He had moved his hands, shaping the fields into a massive cross; it was black, red, and horrible. The man had sent it to Shinji's failing body; it had enveloped him; harnessed him and held him. Then, it had simply floated away, disappearing into the atmosphere.
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When Nishka Zalomai finally located the man that she was looking for she could see that he had been crying. He sat next to a tree, a shady spot on the outskirts of the city. She walked up next to him and sat.
"Kensuke?"
She watched as the man beside her struggled to hide his tears.
"I…I don't cry like this normally…"
"It's alright Kensuke, its nothing to be ashamed of, its normal."
Kensuke Aida nodded, attempting a laugh, but instead choking on his tears.
"Nishka…Shinji dying…it just doesn't seem real."
"Yah."
"I…I never told him this, but I always kind of looked up to him, y'know?"
Nishka didn't respond, instead letting her boyfriend get his feelings out.
"I always kind of saw him as invincible, like he could survive anything; nothing was ever too big for him. I…I never…I never got to tell him that."
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Toji Suzahara could feel the pain come. He watched as his knuckles cracked and began to split and bleed. He yelled out as he threw his punches; yelled out in pain and rage, biting back the tears as best he could. He paused momentarily, observing the red stain on the wall outside of the school building. He had not been to this place in a long time, yet to him it felt like only yesterday he had attended school here. This was the spot, the exact spot that he had first spoken to Shinji Ikari. He had hit him; he had hurt him for something that was beyond his control. He wished he could go back to those days again.
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Hikari Horaki sat on her bed with her face buried in her arms. She did not know how long she had been crying for; she didn't care how long she had been crying for. Shinji was dead, and Toji was gone. The pain she felt for her lost friend she found nearly equal to the fact that the man she loved had run from her. Instead of being with her, instead of staying by her side, he had run. Hikari Horaki sat and cried, irreconcilable, alone, and brokenhearted.
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Ryoji Kaji held the sobbing frame of Misato Katsuragi firmly in his arms. He braced himself, sensing the coming of the occasional spasms of rage that rippled through his purpled haired fiancée. When this did occur, he held on still tighter. He would not let her go. He would stay with her all night if he had too, and for all intents and purposes he intended to do just that, to make sure that she would be alright.
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Asuka Langley Soryu could feel it all inside. Of all the horrible things that had happened to her, this, she felt, was easily the worst. The wind was growing stronger, she could feel it blowing upwards onto her face. It was a long way down, the hotel room was on the top floor. She looked downward, watching the cars driving by far below. Asuka closed her eyes and extended her arms from her sides. He was dead, and there was nothing to fill the emptiness left within her. Nothing, and there never would be anything either.
"Shinji."
She would see him soon. Then
everything would be alright again, like how things had been before. She could
just leave it all behind, leave everything. She smiled, feeling the wind
blowing on her face. This was it.
"Goodbye," Asuka said.
"Please," a voice answered, "Please don't do that."
Asuka slowly opened her eyes again, looking upwards toward the roof. She watched as a hand slowly extended itself down to her, she grabbed it without a moment's hesitation and soon found herself on the roof of the building. She followed the man that had pulled her up to a small patch of soft material on the roof and sat. He was an attractive man, dressed from head to toe in black. His hair was black, and his eyes at first seemed black as well, though on further observation she could tell that they were a very dark blue.
"I'm sorry," he said, "It was not my place to interfere."
Asuka said nothing for a time, and then she responded with a question.
"You're the man from the ceremony aren't you? The man who protected me?"
He nodded.
"Yes, that was me. I…I am sorry about Ikari's death."
Asuka stared at the ground.
"Oh. He is dead then?"
The man nodded.
"I…I had hoped that you had somehow protected him," Asuka said.
"What was it…what was it that you did to him?" the second child asked.
"I bound him to the souls of the dead. It will keep his spirit from entering the black moon."
"What of heaven?"
"If such a place exists then it is being blocked by the black moon. Ikari's soul has been freed. He is no longer bound by existence at all, not heaven, nor hell, nor perfection, nor God. He is beyond everything. This…this is a gift that I had hoped to give to all, but it was not Ikari's time. That is why I saved him from the black moon. The Wraiths would like to return humanity to the world of the third impact, and to do this they would need to return the souls of the three to the egg."
"That is why they attack us?"
"Yes."
"Then why…?"
"Did they attack you?"
Asuka nodded.
"The Wraiths thought Ikari too powerful a man for them to kill easily. They had hoped that your death could break him."
"So why did you save me?"
"The Wraiths are fools. If you had been killed there is no telling what Ikari might have done. They do not understand the potential power that he possesses. I feared that if your death were to occur that something…unsettling might occur."
Asuka nodded, and silence followed for several minutes before she chose to speak again.
"Who are you?"
It was now the man's turn to reflect. After a few moments he spoke as well.
"My name is C-," he seemed to cut himself off, "My name is Kyle Murtagh."
"How do you know all of these things about Shinji? And how do you…"
"Control the AT fields?"
Asuka nodded.
"About five years ago was when I first started to feel it, it came in the form of nightmares. I could see Shinji doing things, horrible things; murder. Recently I was stationed at an American facility in Russia. It was in that place that my nightmares played out in reality. But, when Shinji came to me, he faltered. He spared my life. It was at that moment that he forsook the last of what he had once been, and my transformation began. I am a reflection of Ikari in this place, this reality created by the halting of the third impact. All of the things that Shinji felt during the third impact, all of his pain and rage is now mine, as well as his want to let all die, to separate himself from everybody, to kill you. I possess these feelings. This is why Ikari ended the third impact, because he wanted to be alone, he hated the idea of all being one, and now that feeling is mine. When he awoke he had changed however, something changed him, though I do not know what exactly. He was granted control of his AT field, the essence of life. I developed the opposite ability; the ability to control the fields walking the path of the dead, they are mine to command."
"I would welcome death now," Asuka said, "But if you did inherit Shinji's feelings then why don't you want to kill me now?"
"Because I am not yet Cain entirely. A glimmer of the man named Kyle Murtagh, the man you are speaking to now, still remains. However, soon I will be overtaken completely."
"And you wish to kill everyone?"
"To give them peace, yes. I had wanted to show Ikari what he had wanted, what his true answer was, and with his death, by my hands, I would have been able to give peace to all. Now, however, Shinji's spirit is bound to me. For his soul to return to the black egg the Wraiths will have to kill me as well."
"But that is not what you want, how then will you bring peace to the world now?"
"Oh, there are other ways. I had hoped to enlist father's help."
"Father?"
Asuka watched as the man in black waived this question away with his hand as he began to stand.
"Wait," Asuka said, "One more question, why did you stop me from jumping?"
"Ikari, he died to save you, I…I couldn't watch you throw that sacrifice away."
"Is…Is that really why?"
The man watched as Asuka approached him.
"I am sorry that the man you once were is dying, Kyle…"Asuka said as she reached her hands around his neck. Asuka slowly leaned forward, placing her lips upon those of the man in black, letting her unfinished sentences linger in the air. The man in black felt the kiss come softly, passionately. It was unlike anything that he had ever felt before. It was…pure, unlike anything the Shinji before third impact had ever felt. After several more moments Asuka slowly broke the embrace.
"…But if you do have the part of Shinji that was left behind in you, I just want him to know that I always loved him; that I loved him even then, even before we met, that I will love him always, even the part left behind."
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Here it was, now. Or…Was it always here?
"It was not always here, you have simply arrived."
"Mother?"
"Yes."
"Mother, is this heaven?"
"No, my son. This place is neither heaven nor hell. It is merely…existence. The fact that we are surviving in this empty place is a testament to man kinds will to survive."
Unit-01, the true unit-01, truly was a horrible thing to see. It was not that it was visually frightening so much, though he was sure that it was that as well, but the horrible loneliness made him fear. The fact that he knew that his mother had been trapped in a place like this for so long was what frightened him the most.
"Am I dead?"
"I suppose that is the best way to describe it, but no you are not. Someone who cares about your life a great deal must have sealed your soul here to prevent you from truly dying."
"Is this what it is like to be an Eva?"
"Yes. We are now both experiencing the same process. Your father as well."
"Father?"
"Yes. Though, he is in somewhat of a different form."
"Is there any way to return?"
"No. Your father had hoped that he could bring me back, but his window of opportunity has passed now. Not even the completion of the third impact will bring us together at this point. But as for you…"
"Yes?"
"…you are still bound to the will of a living creature. If you are released from that hold, there may still be a chance that might return to heaven."
"Heaven no longer exists. There is only the black moon now, instrumentality."
"Well to each his own."
"Earth is the only heaven now, right mother? That's what you wanted to tell me isn't it?"
"Yes."
"This place…it is wonderful."
"Because there is no one here?"
"Perhaps."
"Is that true freedom?"
"I don't know…yes, or, is it?"
"Is that what you desire?"
Thoughts, rushing, pounding. Or…no. Are there thoughts in this place? "My desire…"
"Asuka…"