To all you people out there who have reviewed my story, thank you! I'm really glad that this story is progressing well enough for you people, although I would have to admit that most of the stuff I came up with happen just like a few seconds before I actually put them into text. It's kind of like impromptu thinking... It can be sloppy sometimes, but I suppose it works for me. To the people who have dropped praise as large as bombs, I'm not joking, thank you even more! I didn't really think I would get such a great response, because of my fickle updating, but thank you again. Oh, and to the person who told me that they don't speak like kids, I know. I felt the same way when I reread the story, but even the youngest kids, have the most profound thoughts. And how about we make them just a little bit smarter that any other normal little kid, and besides... Did they talk like fourth graders in the movie? Oh, and to whomever said that Zack's surname is Moningham and not Mooneyham, how do you know for certain? If you do happen to have some source, can you inform me of it? You know what, I'm just going to shut up now and get on with the story!
Chapter3
Keeping Your Enemies Close Enough
Summer yelled in frustration at the blank response she had gotten from her friends. Zack released his forehead from his hand and faced her, "Summer, if you really do want to go, we aren't going to stop you," He put in, in a weak attempt to be helpful.
"Fine!" she stamped her foot before facing Freddy dangerously. She turned to him and jabbed a pencil directly towards his throat, practically a millimeter away. He didn't show any visible signs of panic, "I'm warning you Jones!" She threatened fiercely, the other three just stared and watched silently, "If you mess this project for us out of spite, I will disembowel you with this pencil!"
"Now, Hathaway," He said in a mock understanding tone. He gave her the most contorted face of forced concern. He put his hand steadily on her shoulder, trying not to break out in girlish giggles, "Have the doctors released you from the mental ward, or did you just escape!"
"Yes, in fact I did escape!" She was angry, yet her voice turned cool, "I wanted to get away from you and all your psychotic insanity!" With that she dropped the pencil and stormed to Miss Dunham and her hat. Surprisingly no one had heard their 'little' row.
Freddy rolled his eyes and faced the other three, Zack who was eyeing him dangerously, Katie who bit her lip in order to prevent her from lashing out, and Lawrence, whose eye seemed to be twitching uncontrollably, "So," He said with his trademark smirk, "What have you three been up to?"
"Well, I see you have been busy with your hair again," started Zack, "I can still see it's shining in all its pampered glory. Did you spend like three hours on yourself this morning?" Lawrence's eye stopped twitching as he laughed at Zack's comment.
Before Freddy could reply, Katie cut in, "Now Zack," She began, barely containing her huge grin, "Just because not all of us have a natural beauty, that doesn't require such hard pampering, that doesn't mean that we have to take it out on Freddy Jones here. Even if the amount of money he spends on all his cosmetics is twice the tuition fee!"
Zack and Lawrence broke out in uncontrolled guffaws. They could tell that Freddy was seething, yet they got no satisfaction until he had shown them his anger, "Yeah, Katie, but you can't help but wonder," he began with a forced airy voice, and he continued "What does the real Freddy Jones look like?"
"That is indeed a profound question Zack," Lawrence quipped up, getting into it.
"Thank you Lawrence," Zack said, clearly enjoying this, "What do you think Katie?"
She was giggled silently, yet her body shook as if she was sobbing her heart out, "Well Zack, I can't say that I would be surprised if the true Freddy Jones was a wrinkled old man with a bold head and liver spots!" The three broke out laughing again, this time catching the attention of Miss Dunham and Summer, who glared at them fiercely.
The quieted down a bit, but resumed in their guffaws, "You are the three most singularly low people I have ever met in my grade school life," He managed to hiss in an even voice, "What kind of insulters pick on one person who isn't even trying to retaliate, for the fact that he or she knows that he or she is outnumbered," he expected them to apologize, yet they gave him quit the opposite.
"Oh you mean what you've been doing to us for how many years...?" Lawrence asked with falsified innocence.
You could practically feel the laughter in the pentagon they had made. Zack was softly banging his head on his desk and Katie's covered her mouth and only small sniggers were heard. But Freddy laid there still, his mouth quirking at the sides and his lips pursed, but he did not say anything. His anger was slowly coming to the surface, but he kept it in.
Summer, who barely noticed their fight, only up until their volume increased, bounded back happily. She shoved a small piece of paper just a few inches in front of Lawrence's fingerprint-free glasses, "Look what we got!" An unmistakable, yet totally annoying squeal seeped into her voice.
"Do have some strange obsession of jamming random objects into random people with great speed and increasing annoyance?" Freddy asked tediously, rolling his eyes and meeting his desk for a rest.
"Don't even start Jones," She snapped at him in a happy tone, "We got "The Greatest Geniuses of Time!" She squealed excitedly, "Isn't this the greatest? I mean, we practically got the best topic out of the hat!"
"Why Hathaway?" asked Freddy, a snappy comeback forming in his mind, "Excited to see your old boyfriends!" Zack couldn't help a snigger and Katie continued biting her lip. Summer glared at the two of them, but plopped into her seat which was across Zack's.
"Anyway," She continued herself, brushing the fact off, "We should divide the work into fractions, or to be more precise, let's make it percentages," Summer went to work mode right away, "I of course will take care of the division of work, but for now, let's work on what those percentages will be." In a split second she pulled out three identical binders, only different in color.
She kept a yellow one for herself, a light blue one for Katie, a dark blue one for Zack, a green one for Lawrence, and a black one for Freddy. She folded her arms in a business-like manner, "As you can see, I was preparing for a teacher's project. So I brought these binders along with me for my group mates," She informed them sternly.
"Now, you'll all have to fill in the information card now and afterwards you will have to submit it to me," Freddy rolled his eyes noticeably afterwards Katie gave him a deadly glare, "When you receive it once more it will show what sort of research you will have to do, our meeting schedules, and your progress report that Miss Dunham gave." She continued droning on, "You will give me your binder three times a week, and I will fill in your progress report," Before anyone could interrupt, she continued on, "I will give someone my binder on the same time basis as well, and they will fill in my progress report," Summer smiled sweetly at them, "All the exhaustive details will be placed in the binder..."
"Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!" Freddy yelled suddenly, oblivious to the pissed off looks of his fellow classmates, but he lowered his tone anyway, "Do you actually mean that we are actually going to be working together?"
"Jones..." began Katie, "as much as we loathe the idea of working with you, we have to." She shot him a challenging smirk, "Hence it is called 'group work.'"
"Oh very witty Katie," He grunted irately, "So, what are we going to do now?" He rolled his eyes once more and flailed his arms in exaggerates motions, "I mean since you so bossily pointed out, you are practically going to do the most work!"
"As I said before Mister Jones," Summer's voice turned icy, "We are going to work on the percentages now?"
"And what exactly do you mean by that, Summer?" asked Lawrence, who sat in his seat, eye recovered. Zack waited as well, although he knew that Summer was mentioning something about the percentages of the amount of the work that they would do, he didn't exactly understand.
"Well," She tapped her chin in thought, "Imagine a big pie chart-"
"Wait! How about a real pie instead!" offered Zack, who was obviously hungry.
She looked at him, yet she didn't look annoyed. It was more of a frustrated happy look, but she relented, "Fine then," She answered, barely containing her smile, "Imagine a big, gigantically huge pie-"
"What flavor is it?" asked Freddy, cutting in after Zack, just trying to push a few buttons, he put on a rather genuine grin.
"It's an apple Pie!" Summer shot back, clearly annoyed at Freddy's attempts to set her off. And even more upset that he actually was beginning to upset her, and her whole perfectly planned operation, greatly.
"Why not blueberry..." Katie asked, smiling as well.
"No, chocolate!" contributed Zack. Summer seemed annoyed, yet there was no angry expression on her small face, but an exasperated, yet smiling grin on her face. Zack relented, "Fine Summer, go on and continue."
"Thank you Zack," She shuffled a few papers and returned to business mode, "Now, as I was saying..."
***
I rammed my seat over to theirs and sat down harshly. I felt the sting of the hard wood but I said nothing, and I hoped that they didn't see anything as well. So, I of course, being the Master of all Smoothness, came up with a snappy comeback, "...So, Hathaway...Why don't you just get up and pick from the hat like teacher said...?" And well, then she glared at me, but I wasn't about to loose to this girl. So then I replied, "Oh come on! We know that you, so desperately want to go!"
Then she yelled something loud enough to hurt my ears, yet soft enough not to be heard by other bystanders. She seemed to be talking to her friends. I didn't really comprehend what she said, but I knew it was something to contradict to what I had said.
Apparently she had asked something to her friends, who were, well, just not responding. Mooneyham was shaking his head in his hand, the Asian dude's eye was twitching weirdly, and Katie refused any eye contact.
I cursed loudly in my mind
There she goes again! Every freakin' bloody time I see her or even mention her name while I was thinking, it started something inside of me. Like a spark of fire, that it slowly burnt all the eclectic chords and tangles of my twisting emotions until I willed the burning craze it to come to a halt.
What the hell did I just say... or think? I think... What the hell is wrong with me!?!
After I had done my supposed lapse of thinking I paid attention once more. Apparently Hathaway had a pencil point pressed against my neck without me realizing it until now. I was worried, but I couldn't show it to them, now could I?
I could barely understand what she was saying, but I had clearly heard, "...disembowel you...pencil..." I guess that was a threat enough for me, even if I knew that she would never go through with it. What, with her being who she was?
And then I said something about her being locked away in some mental ward and about her escaping or something... Don't ask me! This memory thing was harder than I had thought. After that, she had made some snappy comeback and traipsed away. I shrugged not really caring, but I rubbed my neck on the spot she had pointed the pencil at.
Then sense rolled back into my brain, surprising isn't it? I realized that the other three losers were there, "...So...What have you three been up to?" Of course my precious grin didn't fail to escape me in this smoothness emergency.
After that I had pretty much blanked out and returned to my thoughts. I'm guessing that it's an okay way to deal with insults, since I knew they were coming. I looked at the girl once again. She was looking at Mooneyham as he made his sarcastic comment and laughed right before she made her own.
Somehow, it felt that Zack Mooneyham was his rival.
What, rival? What the hell was wrong with him?
I tried to push out all the negative thoughts in my head (and there are a lot, mind you), unwillingly, at least, that's what I told myself, and opened the possibility of me and Katie. Mooneyham, Lawrence, and Hathaway would probably be there as well, but I didn't want them to be.
I had barely an idea why the thought occurred in my head that Zack Mooneyham would be my rival when it came to winning over Katie. I mean, I doubt that he has any bigger feelings for her than a great friend, or even a sister, but in the pit of my mind I knew why.
If I put on the charming me, I would definitely obtain her affections, but to earn her trust would be a totally different story? And what use is having a girl's affections if you don't have her trust? If she ever did come to trust me, it would be an unsteady emotion that would tether on every move that I or she would make. I would have to strengthen said emotion and help her be able to rely on me, the fruits would be bountiful and priceless, but I didn't know how long it would take.
Trust builds on years. It takes years and years of friendship, loyalty, and a never-ending bond. I knew Katie probably at the same time Mooneyham and most of the other kids knew Katie, but of course, I wasn't too big on starting school as the good, little boy. So, I contented myself with thrashing around with other peoples paints and generally being a really big jerk.
They, being my teachers and parents, noticed my displeasing behavior at such a young age and decided to take action. I was taken to a psychologist who talked to me, asking me simple questions which I couldn't figure had anything to do with why I was there, but in about an hour the session was over.
He said that there was nothing wrong with me, just that I had a big wave of arrogance, but nothing uncontrollable...
I then figured that I had to be more subtle in my actions. My bullying acts lessened. I hadn't quarreled with the whole class, but only about a fraction of it, but then I stopped with some others and singled out a certain four, namely Summer, Zack, Lawrence, and Katie, and perhaps an occasional Billy.
Provided he didn't scream like a girl...
As the years progressed Katie began to hate me, and I'm sure her other friends shared a similar annoyance. I terrified her by ripping of the head of her dolls. I made her cry by ripping up the painting she had gotten five golden stars with. I streaked mud all over her Sunday dress with my tricycle. I laughed at her mercilessly whenever she made a blunder. I made fun of her friends when she wasn't "insultable." I tormented her by casting fierce glares and severe scowls directed to her. I practically made her life miserable...
I doubt that she would ever trust me...
Even if she did somehow fall in madly love with me, would she trust me enough to stay with me? No, she wouldn't... There were so many more people whom she trusted, like Summer, Lawrence, and of course Mooneyham.
If Zack could ever boast about anything that he had over me, Freddy Jones, it would be the fact that people trusted him. I had already known from sometime after the beginning that no one, besides my parents, completely, wholly trusted me with anything, but I didn't care...up until now.
I then realized that the fact hurt me. It wasn't that Hathaway didn't trust me to get the project right. It wasn't that Miss Dunham probably didn't trust me after seeing my record. It wasn't that Miss Mullins definitely did not trust me. I wasn't even the fact that anyone didn't trust me to be anything remotely good.
It was the fact that Katie just didn't trust me.
After all those years of torment, I clearly doubt that she would ever, and I knew that I was the only true blame for my unhappiness. I could have turned good, if I knew that these emotions would turn up and torture me like this, but I didn't...
All those years I had spent laughing my mouth off, had already torn from my hand what I had barely even found...
***
I couldn't believe it. I was blessed enough to be grouped with all my friends, but the thought of working with Freddy Jones seemed to cancel out such happy feelings. I was happy, yet simultaneously, I felt cursed.
Right now, we were just going in rounds, insulting Freddy to tick him off. He wasn't showing anything, but we all knew he was seething, at least I did. I could practically feel his urge to rip us all to pieces, but I had fun anyway. Zack was saying something about his hair, and Lawrence was giggling lightly. To contribute to this little scam, I made some snide remark, something about natural beauty.
I was a bit scared actually.
I was afraid of the reaction Freddy would give us. I've known for a fact, based on all the years I've known him that his temper is one of the worst I have ever experienced. I have never known a single person to get around his catapulting fury.
I, being the meek and mellow Katie around other people, got my reputation for being a girl who's easy to talk to, yet easy enough to push around, but I knew that that wasn't me. Around my friends I was a little more energetic, I cracked some jokes, and I fooled around, pretty much like any other normal kid... I had a temper, yet it didn't easily go off. Something had to push me completely over the edge until I blew up. Zack and Lawrence were pretty much like me, while Summer, whose stress got the better of her sometimes, tended to obsess on tiny matters and flaws.
I had memorized the characteristics of my friends, Zack wouldn't really speak up, unless he was spoken to, eager to voice out his feelings, or, like in this case, get back at someone. Lawrence wouldn't speak up, unless we were there with him. And well Summer would just speak up. I admired how bold she was, yet it got a bit scary sometimes.
But Freddy Jones...
I had no idea how he truly dealt with people. I knew that he always played Mister Tough-Dude, yet how did he really deal with people, if he chose to loose the contrived travesty he took on from the early stages of his evanescent youth. After sometime he apparently added to his role as Mister Tough-Dude, he then became Desirable Bad Boy; he became popular with girls in other grades.
I don't even know what pressed him to take on the image of a bully, for that matter...I have barely idea why I became the shy loner in class, but from the early stage as a loner, I evolved. I had friends, great friends. I evolved from being the shy loner, to the just the shy, quiet girl, which had to be better than shy loner.
I don't even know why we have all these titles and trademarks? I mean, where exactly did I get 'shy loner' and "Mister Tough-Dude?" I think the fumes from Jones's hair gel are polluting my brain.
Come to think of it, ever school, every class has a controversy and a travesty to make those who feel good, look good, and those who feel bad, look even worse. Even in such a prominent school such as Horace Green, the way you felt and the way you carried yourself would judge you in the end, unless you managed to escape the dark conqueror, which is nearly everyone's downfall that is "Self-Consciousness."
Although most of this used to happen in only the higher levels, some of it has begun seeping into the lower levels, such
And seemingly enough, the teachers and principals all thought it was healthy, regular behavior that would help in the real world of even more scamming your way to the top, but they didn't realize, or perhaps they forgot, the pain of the students who got lost amongst the sea of other popularity-grubbers. They forget those who are barely ready for the harsh world of lies and deceit.
The popularity grabbing worked for some, yet most of the other people fell into the dark abyss that is known as disapproval. Yet somehow I managed to free myself from that stinging pain and find solace with my great friends.
I wondered if Freddy felt the immense pull that the students were forcing on him...
It is easy to get lost in the climb for the high reaches of popularity, the shouts and tears it takes to survive, and the inevitable fall that comes in the end...
***
"Alright children, please face me." Miss Dunham said to them. The fifteen students turned their faces towards her, "Now that you all have a basis on what you are to do with your topic, I would like to request something else from you." Audible growls fell on the students, "You will all have to eat lunch together. I have assigned each group a specified table in the lunch room, with your group names."
Summer raised her hand in the air, "Excuse me, Miss Dunham, what are our group names?" She asked their teacher after a few minutes silence.
"You will find out later Miss Hathaway," She said smiling at Summer, clearly giving her the 'favorite student' look, "In addition to my reminders and requests, I will require you to keep those desks in that manner until the project is over," She continued talking, "I will only let you all work on your projects during our homeroom and our break time, anymore questions?"
"How-"
"Raise your hand when you wish to ask a question Mister Jones," Miss Dunham said austerely.
He rolled his eyes discreetly, but raised his hand anyway, "Excuse me, Miss Dunham," He imitated Summer, who glared at him fiercely, "I was wondering how long this project would take, like maybe a few days, right?"
"Mister Jones, this is an investigatory project, the first of two or three," Freddy's eyes bulged out at that statement, "This investigatory project will take a month and a week, so I suggest that you get used to your group. Anymore questions?" There was no response, "Alright then, let's get on with our math..."
***
I swear that woman was Ms. Mullins, subtracted by about five though. It wasn't that I hated school, but I didn't love it to death. I was good at math, yet I wasn't really up to it at that moment. Summer, who was right across me, was listening intently to the teacher as she reviewed us on what we had learnt last year and scribbling neat notes as fast she possibly could. Katie listened to Miss Dunham with far-away eyes. Lawrence was listening to the teacher, all of his attention directed to her. And well Jones was just staring at the ceiling, rapping his fingers on his desk.
I tried to listen to the teacher; I was always good at concentrating during school hours, yet that annoying rapping from Freddy's fingers. His neck craned towards Freddy and gave him a reprimanding glare, Freddy, who made eye contact with me, just stared at him with an incredulous look and shrugged, continuing his incessant drumming. I just grunted and strained to listen to the teacher.
...rap...rap...rap...
An unremitting tapping echoed in my ears. I eyed his fingers with great distaste once more, but he did not notice. I was never able to sleep with a dripping faucet or a bird pecking at my window, and this rapping this was invading my brain.
...tap...tap...tap...
I couldn't take it anymore. I turn to my side once more to face Freddy, and he looked at me and gave me a look of clear annoyance. But I cut him before he could talk. I put a rough hand on his fingers, "Desist." I told him through gritted teeth.
Freddy looked at me with complete disgust, probably at the fact that my 'grimy' hands were marring his 'perfectly manicured' ones. He shoved my hands of, but he continued strumming his hands on his desk, much to my annoyance. I sighed angrily.
It would be hell working with him...
***
After how many grueling hours of lessons, they were free for recess! The students were surprised and probably outraged that Miss Dunham had worked them like that on their first day of school, yet some people, whose names shall be kept secret, enjoyed the jumpstart on work.
Most of the kids were glad that Miss Dunham didn't press them to go with their groups during recess. They went off with their own little cliques and groups and ran outside the stuffy classroom out to the grassy outside.
I let my friends go ahead of me. I was getting my notebook from under my table, and deliberately delaying myself, so I allowed them to go. I didn't really feel like going with anyone this recess period. The thought of being alone was so comforting right now, for some reason. This day seemed so perfectly filled with inspiration, a perfect day for writing. I do my best writing alone, so I sort of wanted this time for myself.
I placed my precious notebook beneath my arm, with my other hand twirling my pen carelessly. I had a spot in Horace Green. I knew that everyone had heard of it, it was the big willow tree in the far corner of the field. It was rumored to be haunted, but when I decided to venture up there I found that it was serene and secluded.
...Perfect for me...
I walked towards the field behind Horace Green, I knew that Summer and the others would be in the field in front of the building, but they would forgive me later. I walked towards the far edge of the field. People were giving me strange looks, with the knowledge that the older levels occupied this field, but I ignored them and rushed to my spot.
I slightly cursed that it was so far away, I couldn't really deal well with peer pressure and so much attention. It will all wash away once I reach the tree. I always told myself that when I got too self-conscious.
I had never actually given a name to the tree. I had always just either called it 'the tree' or 'my spot.' I had never actually thought of giving the tree a name. I mean, it's been around longer than I have, probably since the founding of this school, giving it a name would be like sacrilege to the legacy of the school or something. I wonder if there were students in the past who were like me, finding solace in the most unexpected places.
As I walked, or sprint as it may have appeared, I found a couple of people surround the tree. A lot of older boys crowding over something or someone, and they were laughing their heads off. I was shocked, so I sprinted faster. No one usually hung around the space where the tree was planted
I was at a wide enough distance from the large crowd when I stopped running and sat inconspicuously on a bench. They were a group of boys, but they weren't the high-ranking, grade-grubbers. They were the less disciplined ones to put it in a mild manner. I didn't really want to go near them, for fear of what would happen, but I did want to know what they were doing to the tree. I strained my ears to listen to what they were saying between the grunts and shouts.
"...Go on, do it already...!" A boy's voice said in an urging manner. He spoke again after a few impatient seconds, "...Oh come on! Move it before Mullins sees..."
"...Hey shut up! I'm working as fast as I can..." A strangely familiar voice snapped back to the impatient boy.
"...Dude, I swear bringing that army knife was the coolest thing you've done this year...!" Hold it, I know that voice, could it be some boy in the class?
The same voice that snapped at the other one retorted again, clearly pissed off, "Frankie, this is the first day of the school year!" My eyes widened; of course it was Frankie, the same gruff, yet childish voice. My eyes went even wider.
Then that had to mean...
"Hey Jones, hurry it up will you!" Another voice went loud enough for me to hear, his voice sounded much older than the others, "The others will notice that were huddled up for something, obviously big! Some of the relatively smart ones are going to come up. And when they do see what's going on, they'll probably blab to Mullins!"
"Just wait up dude!" The voice a while ago said in irritation, "The wood is hard! And besides, I didn't ask you to form a 'protective wall' around me!"
"Freddy, just move it along!"
"Alright, alright..."
I was seething mad. Some idiot, who happened to be Freddy Jones, was carving something over the tree so historical and weathered with age! I was boiling with anger. I just couldn't sit there any longer...
"Freddy Jones!!!"
A coat of tears was covering my eyes as I leered upwards. The crowd went rigid in surprise and swiveled backwards to see who had just yelled out, leaving an exposed Freddy Jones, crouching at the base of the tree with a knife in his hands and the etched letters, "M, U, L, L, I, and N," on the wood.
"Katie?" He went to his feet and walked to me as if he was uncertain and embarrassed by my presence, "What are you doing here?"
"I think I should ask you the same question Jones," my voice was unsteady, yet I knew that he felt the anger coming from me, "What on earth do you think you are doing with the tree?" I asked him dangerously. The boys behind him began snickering mercilessly, I flushed a dark shade of red, but I tried to keep my face as steady as possible.
"What do you care Katie, is Hathaway rubbing off her teacher's pet mentality on to you?" He snapped at me, putting all his defenses, "Now go away, back to your pathetic friends, and leave me alone!" He swung himself back to the tree in a swaggering, yet pissed motion. The hand with the knife swung in the air, and before I knew it, I grabbed his arm, dropping everything in my hands.
"Katie, what the hell are you doing!?" He yelled at me, his 'friends' were guffawing even more now, "Let go of me!" He shouted and tried to jerk his arm away from my two-handed grasp, but I held on.
"Give me the knife Jones!"
"NO!" He grunted loudly and with one last attempt he swung his arm as hard as he could with his remaining strength, catching me off guard. I staggered backwards, and fell to the grass beneath me, releasing his arm; then I felt a cool metal slide down my left cheek. And then a warm liquid took its place.
I slowly brought my hand up to my cheek and felt a warm, thick wetness. I looked at my fingers, only to find the presence of the dark rich color of blood, and there that lay on the ground beside me was his army knife, the edge stained by a wet redness.
I looked up to him; my tears were threatening to break loose. He looked shocked. His eyes were wide and his mouth agape. The group behind him looked stunned as well, but somehow none of the other people in the field noticed.
I suddenly felt an immense pressure topple over me. I forced myself to stand up, using all of the strength I could.
And I ran away...
***
Okay, that probably wasn't the best chapter in the world, but the ending is pretty dramatic, I guess. I don't really know if it is predictable or anything, but I'm going out of my way just to create some twists. Speaking of predictability, something is going to happen in the upcoming chapters that most fanfiction writers do. I'll leave it up to you to find out what it is, but believe me. What I will be doing has happened so many times, yet what I will be doing with the predictability is to mold it into something, well, unpredictable. Man, I sound horrible, don't I? Anyway, I know that I kinda made Freddy appear as some kind of delinquent, but I told you, I'm all about twists. And even if some of them are kinda out of character, leave it up to the story, why don't you? So, I really hope that you enjoyed this latest installment of my School of Rock story. Please don't forget to review, and I will update as soon as I possibly can!
Chapter3
Keeping Your Enemies Close Enough
Summer yelled in frustration at the blank response she had gotten from her friends. Zack released his forehead from his hand and faced her, "Summer, if you really do want to go, we aren't going to stop you," He put in, in a weak attempt to be helpful.
"Fine!" she stamped her foot before facing Freddy dangerously. She turned to him and jabbed a pencil directly towards his throat, practically a millimeter away. He didn't show any visible signs of panic, "I'm warning you Jones!" She threatened fiercely, the other three just stared and watched silently, "If you mess this project for us out of spite, I will disembowel you with this pencil!"
"Now, Hathaway," He said in a mock understanding tone. He gave her the most contorted face of forced concern. He put his hand steadily on her shoulder, trying not to break out in girlish giggles, "Have the doctors released you from the mental ward, or did you just escape!"
"Yes, in fact I did escape!" She was angry, yet her voice turned cool, "I wanted to get away from you and all your psychotic insanity!" With that she dropped the pencil and stormed to Miss Dunham and her hat. Surprisingly no one had heard their 'little' row.
Freddy rolled his eyes and faced the other three, Zack who was eyeing him dangerously, Katie who bit her lip in order to prevent her from lashing out, and Lawrence, whose eye seemed to be twitching uncontrollably, "So," He said with his trademark smirk, "What have you three been up to?"
"Well, I see you have been busy with your hair again," started Zack, "I can still see it's shining in all its pampered glory. Did you spend like three hours on yourself this morning?" Lawrence's eye stopped twitching as he laughed at Zack's comment.
Before Freddy could reply, Katie cut in, "Now Zack," She began, barely containing her huge grin, "Just because not all of us have a natural beauty, that doesn't require such hard pampering, that doesn't mean that we have to take it out on Freddy Jones here. Even if the amount of money he spends on all his cosmetics is twice the tuition fee!"
Zack and Lawrence broke out in uncontrolled guffaws. They could tell that Freddy was seething, yet they got no satisfaction until he had shown them his anger, "Yeah, Katie, but you can't help but wonder," he began with a forced airy voice, and he continued "What does the real Freddy Jones look like?"
"That is indeed a profound question Zack," Lawrence quipped up, getting into it.
"Thank you Lawrence," Zack said, clearly enjoying this, "What do you think Katie?"
She was giggled silently, yet her body shook as if she was sobbing her heart out, "Well Zack, I can't say that I would be surprised if the true Freddy Jones was a wrinkled old man with a bold head and liver spots!" The three broke out laughing again, this time catching the attention of Miss Dunham and Summer, who glared at them fiercely.
The quieted down a bit, but resumed in their guffaws, "You are the three most singularly low people I have ever met in my grade school life," He managed to hiss in an even voice, "What kind of insulters pick on one person who isn't even trying to retaliate, for the fact that he or she knows that he or she is outnumbered," he expected them to apologize, yet they gave him quit the opposite.
"Oh you mean what you've been doing to us for how many years...?" Lawrence asked with falsified innocence.
You could practically feel the laughter in the pentagon they had made. Zack was softly banging his head on his desk and Katie's covered her mouth and only small sniggers were heard. But Freddy laid there still, his mouth quirking at the sides and his lips pursed, but he did not say anything. His anger was slowly coming to the surface, but he kept it in.
Summer, who barely noticed their fight, only up until their volume increased, bounded back happily. She shoved a small piece of paper just a few inches in front of Lawrence's fingerprint-free glasses, "Look what we got!" An unmistakable, yet totally annoying squeal seeped into her voice.
"Do have some strange obsession of jamming random objects into random people with great speed and increasing annoyance?" Freddy asked tediously, rolling his eyes and meeting his desk for a rest.
"Don't even start Jones," She snapped at him in a happy tone, "We got "The Greatest Geniuses of Time!" She squealed excitedly, "Isn't this the greatest? I mean, we practically got the best topic out of the hat!"
"Why Hathaway?" asked Freddy, a snappy comeback forming in his mind, "Excited to see your old boyfriends!" Zack couldn't help a snigger and Katie continued biting her lip. Summer glared at the two of them, but plopped into her seat which was across Zack's.
"Anyway," She continued herself, brushing the fact off, "We should divide the work into fractions, or to be more precise, let's make it percentages," Summer went to work mode right away, "I of course will take care of the division of work, but for now, let's work on what those percentages will be." In a split second she pulled out three identical binders, only different in color.
She kept a yellow one for herself, a light blue one for Katie, a dark blue one for Zack, a green one for Lawrence, and a black one for Freddy. She folded her arms in a business-like manner, "As you can see, I was preparing for a teacher's project. So I brought these binders along with me for my group mates," She informed them sternly.
"Now, you'll all have to fill in the information card now and afterwards you will have to submit it to me," Freddy rolled his eyes noticeably afterwards Katie gave him a deadly glare, "When you receive it once more it will show what sort of research you will have to do, our meeting schedules, and your progress report that Miss Dunham gave." She continued droning on, "You will give me your binder three times a week, and I will fill in your progress report," Before anyone could interrupt, she continued on, "I will give someone my binder on the same time basis as well, and they will fill in my progress report," Summer smiled sweetly at them, "All the exhaustive details will be placed in the binder..."
"Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!" Freddy yelled suddenly, oblivious to the pissed off looks of his fellow classmates, but he lowered his tone anyway, "Do you actually mean that we are actually going to be working together?"
"Jones..." began Katie, "as much as we loathe the idea of working with you, we have to." She shot him a challenging smirk, "Hence it is called 'group work.'"
"Oh very witty Katie," He grunted irately, "So, what are we going to do now?" He rolled his eyes once more and flailed his arms in exaggerates motions, "I mean since you so bossily pointed out, you are practically going to do the most work!"
"As I said before Mister Jones," Summer's voice turned icy, "We are going to work on the percentages now?"
"And what exactly do you mean by that, Summer?" asked Lawrence, who sat in his seat, eye recovered. Zack waited as well, although he knew that Summer was mentioning something about the percentages of the amount of the work that they would do, he didn't exactly understand.
"Well," She tapped her chin in thought, "Imagine a big pie chart-"
"Wait! How about a real pie instead!" offered Zack, who was obviously hungry.
She looked at him, yet she didn't look annoyed. It was more of a frustrated happy look, but she relented, "Fine then," She answered, barely containing her smile, "Imagine a big, gigantically huge pie-"
"What flavor is it?" asked Freddy, cutting in after Zack, just trying to push a few buttons, he put on a rather genuine grin.
"It's an apple Pie!" Summer shot back, clearly annoyed at Freddy's attempts to set her off. And even more upset that he actually was beginning to upset her, and her whole perfectly planned operation, greatly.
"Why not blueberry..." Katie asked, smiling as well.
"No, chocolate!" contributed Zack. Summer seemed annoyed, yet there was no angry expression on her small face, but an exasperated, yet smiling grin on her face. Zack relented, "Fine Summer, go on and continue."
"Thank you Zack," She shuffled a few papers and returned to business mode, "Now, as I was saying..."
***
I rammed my seat over to theirs and sat down harshly. I felt the sting of the hard wood but I said nothing, and I hoped that they didn't see anything as well. So, I of course, being the Master of all Smoothness, came up with a snappy comeback, "...So, Hathaway...Why don't you just get up and pick from the hat like teacher said...?" And well, then she glared at me, but I wasn't about to loose to this girl. So then I replied, "Oh come on! We know that you, so desperately want to go!"
Then she yelled something loud enough to hurt my ears, yet soft enough not to be heard by other bystanders. She seemed to be talking to her friends. I didn't really comprehend what she said, but I knew it was something to contradict to what I had said.
Apparently she had asked something to her friends, who were, well, just not responding. Mooneyham was shaking his head in his hand, the Asian dude's eye was twitching weirdly, and Katie refused any eye contact.
I cursed loudly in my mind
There she goes again! Every freakin' bloody time I see her or even mention her name while I was thinking, it started something inside of me. Like a spark of fire, that it slowly burnt all the eclectic chords and tangles of my twisting emotions until I willed the burning craze it to come to a halt.
What the hell did I just say... or think? I think... What the hell is wrong with me!?!
After I had done my supposed lapse of thinking I paid attention once more. Apparently Hathaway had a pencil point pressed against my neck without me realizing it until now. I was worried, but I couldn't show it to them, now could I?
I could barely understand what she was saying, but I had clearly heard, "...disembowel you...pencil..." I guess that was a threat enough for me, even if I knew that she would never go through with it. What, with her being who she was?
And then I said something about her being locked away in some mental ward and about her escaping or something... Don't ask me! This memory thing was harder than I had thought. After that, she had made some snappy comeback and traipsed away. I shrugged not really caring, but I rubbed my neck on the spot she had pointed the pencil at.
Then sense rolled back into my brain, surprising isn't it? I realized that the other three losers were there, "...So...What have you three been up to?" Of course my precious grin didn't fail to escape me in this smoothness emergency.
After that I had pretty much blanked out and returned to my thoughts. I'm guessing that it's an okay way to deal with insults, since I knew they were coming. I looked at the girl once again. She was looking at Mooneyham as he made his sarcastic comment and laughed right before she made her own.
Somehow, it felt that Zack Mooneyham was his rival.
What, rival? What the hell was wrong with him?
I tried to push out all the negative thoughts in my head (and there are a lot, mind you), unwillingly, at least, that's what I told myself, and opened the possibility of me and Katie. Mooneyham, Lawrence, and Hathaway would probably be there as well, but I didn't want them to be.
I had barely an idea why the thought occurred in my head that Zack Mooneyham would be my rival when it came to winning over Katie. I mean, I doubt that he has any bigger feelings for her than a great friend, or even a sister, but in the pit of my mind I knew why.
If I put on the charming me, I would definitely obtain her affections, but to earn her trust would be a totally different story? And what use is having a girl's affections if you don't have her trust? If she ever did come to trust me, it would be an unsteady emotion that would tether on every move that I or she would make. I would have to strengthen said emotion and help her be able to rely on me, the fruits would be bountiful and priceless, but I didn't know how long it would take.
Trust builds on years. It takes years and years of friendship, loyalty, and a never-ending bond. I knew Katie probably at the same time Mooneyham and most of the other kids knew Katie, but of course, I wasn't too big on starting school as the good, little boy. So, I contented myself with thrashing around with other peoples paints and generally being a really big jerk.
They, being my teachers and parents, noticed my displeasing behavior at such a young age and decided to take action. I was taken to a psychologist who talked to me, asking me simple questions which I couldn't figure had anything to do with why I was there, but in about an hour the session was over.
He said that there was nothing wrong with me, just that I had a big wave of arrogance, but nothing uncontrollable...
I then figured that I had to be more subtle in my actions. My bullying acts lessened. I hadn't quarreled with the whole class, but only about a fraction of it, but then I stopped with some others and singled out a certain four, namely Summer, Zack, Lawrence, and Katie, and perhaps an occasional Billy.
Provided he didn't scream like a girl...
As the years progressed Katie began to hate me, and I'm sure her other friends shared a similar annoyance. I terrified her by ripping of the head of her dolls. I made her cry by ripping up the painting she had gotten five golden stars with. I streaked mud all over her Sunday dress with my tricycle. I laughed at her mercilessly whenever she made a blunder. I made fun of her friends when she wasn't "insultable." I tormented her by casting fierce glares and severe scowls directed to her. I practically made her life miserable...
I doubt that she would ever trust me...
Even if she did somehow fall in madly love with me, would she trust me enough to stay with me? No, she wouldn't... There were so many more people whom she trusted, like Summer, Lawrence, and of course Mooneyham.
If Zack could ever boast about anything that he had over me, Freddy Jones, it would be the fact that people trusted him. I had already known from sometime after the beginning that no one, besides my parents, completely, wholly trusted me with anything, but I didn't care...up until now.
I then realized that the fact hurt me. It wasn't that Hathaway didn't trust me to get the project right. It wasn't that Miss Dunham probably didn't trust me after seeing my record. It wasn't that Miss Mullins definitely did not trust me. I wasn't even the fact that anyone didn't trust me to be anything remotely good.
It was the fact that Katie just didn't trust me.
After all those years of torment, I clearly doubt that she would ever, and I knew that I was the only true blame for my unhappiness. I could have turned good, if I knew that these emotions would turn up and torture me like this, but I didn't...
All those years I had spent laughing my mouth off, had already torn from my hand what I had barely even found...
***
I couldn't believe it. I was blessed enough to be grouped with all my friends, but the thought of working with Freddy Jones seemed to cancel out such happy feelings. I was happy, yet simultaneously, I felt cursed.
Right now, we were just going in rounds, insulting Freddy to tick him off. He wasn't showing anything, but we all knew he was seething, at least I did. I could practically feel his urge to rip us all to pieces, but I had fun anyway. Zack was saying something about his hair, and Lawrence was giggling lightly. To contribute to this little scam, I made some snide remark, something about natural beauty.
I was a bit scared actually.
I was afraid of the reaction Freddy would give us. I've known for a fact, based on all the years I've known him that his temper is one of the worst I have ever experienced. I have never known a single person to get around his catapulting fury.
I, being the meek and mellow Katie around other people, got my reputation for being a girl who's easy to talk to, yet easy enough to push around, but I knew that that wasn't me. Around my friends I was a little more energetic, I cracked some jokes, and I fooled around, pretty much like any other normal kid... I had a temper, yet it didn't easily go off. Something had to push me completely over the edge until I blew up. Zack and Lawrence were pretty much like me, while Summer, whose stress got the better of her sometimes, tended to obsess on tiny matters and flaws.
I had memorized the characteristics of my friends, Zack wouldn't really speak up, unless he was spoken to, eager to voice out his feelings, or, like in this case, get back at someone. Lawrence wouldn't speak up, unless we were there with him. And well Summer would just speak up. I admired how bold she was, yet it got a bit scary sometimes.
But Freddy Jones...
I had no idea how he truly dealt with people. I knew that he always played Mister Tough-Dude, yet how did he really deal with people, if he chose to loose the contrived travesty he took on from the early stages of his evanescent youth. After sometime he apparently added to his role as Mister Tough-Dude, he then became Desirable Bad Boy; he became popular with girls in other grades.
I don't even know what pressed him to take on the image of a bully, for that matter...I have barely idea why I became the shy loner in class, but from the early stage as a loner, I evolved. I had friends, great friends. I evolved from being the shy loner, to the just the shy, quiet girl, which had to be better than shy loner.
I don't even know why we have all these titles and trademarks? I mean, where exactly did I get 'shy loner' and "Mister Tough-Dude?" I think the fumes from Jones's hair gel are polluting my brain.
Come to think of it, ever school, every class has a controversy and a travesty to make those who feel good, look good, and those who feel bad, look even worse. Even in such a prominent school such as Horace Green, the way you felt and the way you carried yourself would judge you in the end, unless you managed to escape the dark conqueror, which is nearly everyone's downfall that is "Self-Consciousness."
Although most of this used to happen in only the higher levels, some of it has begun seeping into the lower levels, such
And seemingly enough, the teachers and principals all thought it was healthy, regular behavior that would help in the real world of even more scamming your way to the top, but they didn't realize, or perhaps they forgot, the pain of the students who got lost amongst the sea of other popularity-grubbers. They forget those who are barely ready for the harsh world of lies and deceit.
The popularity grabbing worked for some, yet most of the other people fell into the dark abyss that is known as disapproval. Yet somehow I managed to free myself from that stinging pain and find solace with my great friends.
I wondered if Freddy felt the immense pull that the students were forcing on him...
It is easy to get lost in the climb for the high reaches of popularity, the shouts and tears it takes to survive, and the inevitable fall that comes in the end...
***
"Alright children, please face me." Miss Dunham said to them. The fifteen students turned their faces towards her, "Now that you all have a basis on what you are to do with your topic, I would like to request something else from you." Audible growls fell on the students, "You will all have to eat lunch together. I have assigned each group a specified table in the lunch room, with your group names."
Summer raised her hand in the air, "Excuse me, Miss Dunham, what are our group names?" She asked their teacher after a few minutes silence.
"You will find out later Miss Hathaway," She said smiling at Summer, clearly giving her the 'favorite student' look, "In addition to my reminders and requests, I will require you to keep those desks in that manner until the project is over," She continued talking, "I will only let you all work on your projects during our homeroom and our break time, anymore questions?"
"How-"
"Raise your hand when you wish to ask a question Mister Jones," Miss Dunham said austerely.
He rolled his eyes discreetly, but raised his hand anyway, "Excuse me, Miss Dunham," He imitated Summer, who glared at him fiercely, "I was wondering how long this project would take, like maybe a few days, right?"
"Mister Jones, this is an investigatory project, the first of two or three," Freddy's eyes bulged out at that statement, "This investigatory project will take a month and a week, so I suggest that you get used to your group. Anymore questions?" There was no response, "Alright then, let's get on with our math..."
***
I swear that woman was Ms. Mullins, subtracted by about five though. It wasn't that I hated school, but I didn't love it to death. I was good at math, yet I wasn't really up to it at that moment. Summer, who was right across me, was listening intently to the teacher as she reviewed us on what we had learnt last year and scribbling neat notes as fast she possibly could. Katie listened to Miss Dunham with far-away eyes. Lawrence was listening to the teacher, all of his attention directed to her. And well Jones was just staring at the ceiling, rapping his fingers on his desk.
I tried to listen to the teacher; I was always good at concentrating during school hours, yet that annoying rapping from Freddy's fingers. His neck craned towards Freddy and gave him a reprimanding glare, Freddy, who made eye contact with me, just stared at him with an incredulous look and shrugged, continuing his incessant drumming. I just grunted and strained to listen to the teacher.
...rap...rap...rap...
An unremitting tapping echoed in my ears. I eyed his fingers with great distaste once more, but he did not notice. I was never able to sleep with a dripping faucet or a bird pecking at my window, and this rapping this was invading my brain.
...tap...tap...tap...
I couldn't take it anymore. I turn to my side once more to face Freddy, and he looked at me and gave me a look of clear annoyance. But I cut him before he could talk. I put a rough hand on his fingers, "Desist." I told him through gritted teeth.
Freddy looked at me with complete disgust, probably at the fact that my 'grimy' hands were marring his 'perfectly manicured' ones. He shoved my hands of, but he continued strumming his hands on his desk, much to my annoyance. I sighed angrily.
It would be hell working with him...
***
After how many grueling hours of lessons, they were free for recess! The students were surprised and probably outraged that Miss Dunham had worked them like that on their first day of school, yet some people, whose names shall be kept secret, enjoyed the jumpstart on work.
Most of the kids were glad that Miss Dunham didn't press them to go with their groups during recess. They went off with their own little cliques and groups and ran outside the stuffy classroom out to the grassy outside.
I let my friends go ahead of me. I was getting my notebook from under my table, and deliberately delaying myself, so I allowed them to go. I didn't really feel like going with anyone this recess period. The thought of being alone was so comforting right now, for some reason. This day seemed so perfectly filled with inspiration, a perfect day for writing. I do my best writing alone, so I sort of wanted this time for myself.
I placed my precious notebook beneath my arm, with my other hand twirling my pen carelessly. I had a spot in Horace Green. I knew that everyone had heard of it, it was the big willow tree in the far corner of the field. It was rumored to be haunted, but when I decided to venture up there I found that it was serene and secluded.
...Perfect for me...
I walked towards the field behind Horace Green, I knew that Summer and the others would be in the field in front of the building, but they would forgive me later. I walked towards the far edge of the field. People were giving me strange looks, with the knowledge that the older levels occupied this field, but I ignored them and rushed to my spot.
I slightly cursed that it was so far away, I couldn't really deal well with peer pressure and so much attention. It will all wash away once I reach the tree. I always told myself that when I got too self-conscious.
I had never actually given a name to the tree. I had always just either called it 'the tree' or 'my spot.' I had never actually thought of giving the tree a name. I mean, it's been around longer than I have, probably since the founding of this school, giving it a name would be like sacrilege to the legacy of the school or something. I wonder if there were students in the past who were like me, finding solace in the most unexpected places.
As I walked, or sprint as it may have appeared, I found a couple of people surround the tree. A lot of older boys crowding over something or someone, and they were laughing their heads off. I was shocked, so I sprinted faster. No one usually hung around the space where the tree was planted
I was at a wide enough distance from the large crowd when I stopped running and sat inconspicuously on a bench. They were a group of boys, but they weren't the high-ranking, grade-grubbers. They were the less disciplined ones to put it in a mild manner. I didn't really want to go near them, for fear of what would happen, but I did want to know what they were doing to the tree. I strained my ears to listen to what they were saying between the grunts and shouts.
"...Go on, do it already...!" A boy's voice said in an urging manner. He spoke again after a few impatient seconds, "...Oh come on! Move it before Mullins sees..."
"...Hey shut up! I'm working as fast as I can..." A strangely familiar voice snapped back to the impatient boy.
"...Dude, I swear bringing that army knife was the coolest thing you've done this year...!" Hold it, I know that voice, could it be some boy in the class?
The same voice that snapped at the other one retorted again, clearly pissed off, "Frankie, this is the first day of the school year!" My eyes widened; of course it was Frankie, the same gruff, yet childish voice. My eyes went even wider.
Then that had to mean...
"Hey Jones, hurry it up will you!" Another voice went loud enough for me to hear, his voice sounded much older than the others, "The others will notice that were huddled up for something, obviously big! Some of the relatively smart ones are going to come up. And when they do see what's going on, they'll probably blab to Mullins!"
"Just wait up dude!" The voice a while ago said in irritation, "The wood is hard! And besides, I didn't ask you to form a 'protective wall' around me!"
"Freddy, just move it along!"
"Alright, alright..."
I was seething mad. Some idiot, who happened to be Freddy Jones, was carving something over the tree so historical and weathered with age! I was boiling with anger. I just couldn't sit there any longer...
"Freddy Jones!!!"
A coat of tears was covering my eyes as I leered upwards. The crowd went rigid in surprise and swiveled backwards to see who had just yelled out, leaving an exposed Freddy Jones, crouching at the base of the tree with a knife in his hands and the etched letters, "M, U, L, L, I, and N," on the wood.
"Katie?" He went to his feet and walked to me as if he was uncertain and embarrassed by my presence, "What are you doing here?"
"I think I should ask you the same question Jones," my voice was unsteady, yet I knew that he felt the anger coming from me, "What on earth do you think you are doing with the tree?" I asked him dangerously. The boys behind him began snickering mercilessly, I flushed a dark shade of red, but I tried to keep my face as steady as possible.
"What do you care Katie, is Hathaway rubbing off her teacher's pet mentality on to you?" He snapped at me, putting all his defenses, "Now go away, back to your pathetic friends, and leave me alone!" He swung himself back to the tree in a swaggering, yet pissed motion. The hand with the knife swung in the air, and before I knew it, I grabbed his arm, dropping everything in my hands.
"Katie, what the hell are you doing!?" He yelled at me, his 'friends' were guffawing even more now, "Let go of me!" He shouted and tried to jerk his arm away from my two-handed grasp, but I held on.
"Give me the knife Jones!"
"NO!" He grunted loudly and with one last attempt he swung his arm as hard as he could with his remaining strength, catching me off guard. I staggered backwards, and fell to the grass beneath me, releasing his arm; then I felt a cool metal slide down my left cheek. And then a warm liquid took its place.
I slowly brought my hand up to my cheek and felt a warm, thick wetness. I looked at my fingers, only to find the presence of the dark rich color of blood, and there that lay on the ground beside me was his army knife, the edge stained by a wet redness.
I looked up to him; my tears were threatening to break loose. He looked shocked. His eyes were wide and his mouth agape. The group behind him looked stunned as well, but somehow none of the other people in the field noticed.
I suddenly felt an immense pressure topple over me. I forced myself to stand up, using all of the strength I could.
And I ran away...
***
Okay, that probably wasn't the best chapter in the world, but the ending is pretty dramatic, I guess. I don't really know if it is predictable or anything, but I'm going out of my way just to create some twists. Speaking of predictability, something is going to happen in the upcoming chapters that most fanfiction writers do. I'll leave it up to you to find out what it is, but believe me. What I will be doing has happened so many times, yet what I will be doing with the predictability is to mold it into something, well, unpredictable. Man, I sound horrible, don't I? Anyway, I know that I kinda made Freddy appear as some kind of delinquent, but I told you, I'm all about twists. And even if some of them are kinda out of character, leave it up to the story, why don't you? So, I really hope that you enjoyed this latest installment of my School of Rock story. Please don't forget to review, and I will update as soon as I possibly can!