Hello! Again! On with the story! Woo! Also, as you can see, I've changed
some names:
Riff Raff – Reff Ruff
Magenta – Pinkie
Columbia – Cumbria
Frank – I don't know. You guys have any suggestions?
Rocky – Smocky
Brad – Bread
Janet – Jam
Dr Scott – Dr Scoot
Fat Transylvanian – Fat Monica
Weeny Transylvanian – Lil Timewarp dude
Why, you ask? I don't really know.
###
The Smocky Horror Picture Show
###
Damn, Jam!
Music: [Wedding music]
Photographer: Here they come!
People: ''going a bit hyper'' Woo! Yay! Giggle! Laugh! Chortle! Running about manically!
Photographer: Parents, and the grandparents! Yes, all the close family! And – click!
Everyone: ''and again'' Laugh! Giggle! More manic running!
''Bread and Ralph start punching each other pretty hard really''
Ralph: ''punches Bread on the shoulder'' Well, I guess we really did it, huh?
Bread: ''punches Ralph in the mouth, while saying sarcastically'' No, you don't say!
Ralph: ''wiping blood from his mouth and looking confused'' But I just did.
Bread: I was just – oh forget it. Anyway, I don't think there's any doubt about that, you and Betty have been almost inseperable since you met at Dr Scoot's refresher course. Of course, I have to mention Dr Scoot at all times possible, after all I am madly in love with him! ''unbuttons shirt to reveal a t-shirt which reads 'I LOVE DR SCOOT'''
Ralph: Don't you think it's a bit ... unhealthy to love a balding old aged teacher in a wheelchair?
Bread: but Ralph ''launching into a big speech'' where would this world be without teachers like Dr Scoot? The youth of today would not be right without teachers like him. Not to mention the youth of tomorrow! So speak up America! Speak up for the teachers you know! Speak up -
Ralph: Bread, shut up! Oh look, Betty's throwing her bouquet.
Betty: ''in her extremely annoying voice'' Ok you guys this is it! You ready?
Jam: ''currently shooting everyone'' No, 1 sec!
''a small pause later''
Jam: Ready!
''everyone who was going to try for the bouquet is dead on the floor. Reff Ruff and Pinkie (in their American Gothic outfits of course) clean them up''
Bouquet: ''sailing through the air'' Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Jam: ''catches it'' I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I g I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!
Reff Ruff: For the sake of every person who's really an alien but somehow ended up outside an Earthian church carrying a pitchfork, shut up!
Ralph: Hey big fella! Looks like it could be your turn next!
''The wedding car arrives''
Ralph: See ya Bread. ''goes''
Bread: I think its time for my thoughtful face ''pretends to stroke his (quotemarks) beard (end quotemarks) and looks (quotemarks) thoughtful (end quotemarks).''
''Ralph & betty drive away. Suddenly no ones there except Bread, Jam, an old woman, & Pinkie & Reff Ruff in disguise''
Jam: Oh Bread wasn't it wonderful?
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: No
Jam: Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful?
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: No
Pinkie: Her dress was simply GHASTLY
Jam: I can't believe it, an hour ago she was plain old Betty Munroe, and now – now she's still plain old Betty but with a different surname! ''sighs''
''they walk past the old woman''
Woman: Oh, I always cry at weddings
Jam: ''pushes her in a ditch''
Bread: Yes Jam, Ralph's a lucky guy
Jam: Yes!
Bread: Er – everyone knows that Betty's good at poisoning people
Jam: Yes!
Bread: Are you going to say that to everything?
Jam: Yes!
Bread: Hmm ... ''has a cunning idea'' Are you stupid & smelly & look like Harry Potter?
Jam: No dear, that's you
Music: Doo doo!
Bread: Hey Jam
Jam: Yes Bread?
Bread: I've got something to say
Jam: Uh huh?
Bread: I really hate the – disgusting way – you shot the other girls, for the bride's bouquet.
Jam: ''taking as compliment'' Oh, Bread
''SONGTIME!''
Bread: The river was deep but I swam
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: I didn't know how to swim but now I can
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: But in the process, I drowned a lamb
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's – Damn, Jam! You look like spam
Jam: Oh Bread
Bread: And to prove what a fool I am
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: I gave all my clothes to Oxfam
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: So now, I need a clothes plan
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's – Damn, Jam! You look like spam
Jam: Squeal!
Bread: gets down on one knee Here's a ring to prove that I'm a snotter
Coz really I don't like you
And – I – look – like – Harry potter!
Oh, J-A-M you're gross you're just like spam
Jam: ''runs inside & looks at the ring. Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria are cleaning the church'' Oh! The rock is the shape of my Dad's head!
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread
Jam: Unfortunately, my dad is now dead
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread
Jam: But who really cares what he said
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread
Jam: I've one thing to say, & that's – Oh, Bread, you've gone all red
''they walk up the isle doing frog steps for some reason''
Jam: Oh, Bread ...
Bread: Oh ... Jam
Jam: Dad's dead ...
Bread: Oh ... Spam!
Jam: Who cares ...
Bread: I feel the sa-a-a-a-ame
Bread & Jam: This song is so-o lame!
Bread: There once was a band called Wham
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Jam
Bread: I'm running out of things to rhyme with Jam
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Ham?
Bread: You're asking me to sing about ham?
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: But – Wham?!
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's - Damn, Jam – you look like spam
Bread: Damn, Jam
Jam: Bread, you're red
Bread: Damn, Jam –
Both: Jam – is – spam!
###
Ok so that was so fun to write! Keep on reviewing & I'll love you!
Riff Raff – Reff Ruff
Magenta – Pinkie
Columbia – Cumbria
Frank – I don't know. You guys have any suggestions?
Rocky – Smocky
Brad – Bread
Janet – Jam
Dr Scott – Dr Scoot
Fat Transylvanian – Fat Monica
Weeny Transylvanian – Lil Timewarp dude
Why, you ask? I don't really know.
###
The Smocky Horror Picture Show
###
Damn, Jam!
Music: [Wedding music]
Photographer: Here they come!
People: ''going a bit hyper'' Woo! Yay! Giggle! Laugh! Chortle! Running about manically!
Photographer: Parents, and the grandparents! Yes, all the close family! And – click!
Everyone: ''and again'' Laugh! Giggle! More manic running!
''Bread and Ralph start punching each other pretty hard really''
Ralph: ''punches Bread on the shoulder'' Well, I guess we really did it, huh?
Bread: ''punches Ralph in the mouth, while saying sarcastically'' No, you don't say!
Ralph: ''wiping blood from his mouth and looking confused'' But I just did.
Bread: I was just – oh forget it. Anyway, I don't think there's any doubt about that, you and Betty have been almost inseperable since you met at Dr Scoot's refresher course. Of course, I have to mention Dr Scoot at all times possible, after all I am madly in love with him! ''unbuttons shirt to reveal a t-shirt which reads 'I LOVE DR SCOOT'''
Ralph: Don't you think it's a bit ... unhealthy to love a balding old aged teacher in a wheelchair?
Bread: but Ralph ''launching into a big speech'' where would this world be without teachers like Dr Scoot? The youth of today would not be right without teachers like him. Not to mention the youth of tomorrow! So speak up America! Speak up for the teachers you know! Speak up -
Ralph: Bread, shut up! Oh look, Betty's throwing her bouquet.
Betty: ''in her extremely annoying voice'' Ok you guys this is it! You ready?
Jam: ''currently shooting everyone'' No, 1 sec!
''a small pause later''
Jam: Ready!
''everyone who was going to try for the bouquet is dead on the floor. Reff Ruff and Pinkie (in their American Gothic outfits of course) clean them up''
Bouquet: ''sailing through the air'' Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Jam: ''catches it'' I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I g I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!
Reff Ruff: For the sake of every person who's really an alien but somehow ended up outside an Earthian church carrying a pitchfork, shut up!
Ralph: Hey big fella! Looks like it could be your turn next!
''The wedding car arrives''
Ralph: See ya Bread. ''goes''
Bread: I think its time for my thoughtful face ''pretends to stroke his (quotemarks) beard (end quotemarks) and looks (quotemarks) thoughtful (end quotemarks).''
''Ralph & betty drive away. Suddenly no ones there except Bread, Jam, an old woman, & Pinkie & Reff Ruff in disguise''
Jam: Oh Bread wasn't it wonderful?
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: No
Jam: Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful?
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: No
Pinkie: Her dress was simply GHASTLY
Jam: I can't believe it, an hour ago she was plain old Betty Munroe, and now – now she's still plain old Betty but with a different surname! ''sighs''
''they walk past the old woman''
Woman: Oh, I always cry at weddings
Jam: ''pushes her in a ditch''
Bread: Yes Jam, Ralph's a lucky guy
Jam: Yes!
Bread: Er – everyone knows that Betty's good at poisoning people
Jam: Yes!
Bread: Are you going to say that to everything?
Jam: Yes!
Bread: Hmm ... ''has a cunning idea'' Are you stupid & smelly & look like Harry Potter?
Jam: No dear, that's you
Music: Doo doo!
Bread: Hey Jam
Jam: Yes Bread?
Bread: I've got something to say
Jam: Uh huh?
Bread: I really hate the – disgusting way – you shot the other girls, for the bride's bouquet.
Jam: ''taking as compliment'' Oh, Bread
''SONGTIME!''
Bread: The river was deep but I swam
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: I didn't know how to swim but now I can
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: But in the process, I drowned a lamb
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's – Damn, Jam! You look like spam
Jam: Oh Bread
Bread: And to prove what a fool I am
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: I gave all my clothes to Oxfam
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: So now, I need a clothes plan
Pinkie & Reff Ruff: Jam
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's – Damn, Jam! You look like spam
Jam: Squeal!
Bread: gets down on one knee Here's a ring to prove that I'm a snotter
Coz really I don't like you
And – I – look – like – Harry potter!
Oh, J-A-M you're gross you're just like spam
Jam: ''runs inside & looks at the ring. Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria are cleaning the church'' Oh! The rock is the shape of my Dad's head!
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread
Jam: Unfortunately, my dad is now dead
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread
Jam: But who really cares what he said
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Oh Bread
Jam: I've one thing to say, & that's – Oh, Bread, you've gone all red
''they walk up the isle doing frog steps for some reason''
Jam: Oh, Bread ...
Bread: Oh ... Jam
Jam: Dad's dead ...
Bread: Oh ... Spam!
Jam: Who cares ...
Bread: I feel the sa-a-a-a-ame
Bread & Jam: This song is so-o lame!
Bread: There once was a band called Wham
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Jam
Bread: I'm running out of things to rhyme with Jam
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: Ham?
Bread: You're asking me to sing about ham?
Pinkie, Reff Ruff & Cumbria: But – Wham?!
Bread: I've one thing to say, & that's - Damn, Jam – you look like spam
Bread: Damn, Jam
Jam: Bread, you're red
Bread: Damn, Jam –
Both: Jam – is – spam!
###
Ok so that was so fun to write! Keep on reviewing & I'll love you!