King Hippo roiled about in the fresh water, happy as a clam. All the other inhabitants of the Prison Zone were LONG GONE, despite the fact that his stench was at least stifled with the bath. But hey, when the boxing shorts go, so do you. Rule #1 when living around here.
Floating lazily upon his back, the stocky legs kicked half-heartedly to propel him across the spring at a snail's pace. Leaves floated past, along with the occasional cupcake (which he'd stuff in his mouth out of pure instinct, despite the nasty taste of ash that choked his throat), a stick or two, a cucumber...
Waitaminit...
Since when had any sort of healthy produce been seen in this zone? King Hippo peered at it for a long moment as if it were an alien object. On the one hand, it was food that he hadn't seen in months. He should eat it. On the other hand, it was probably just going to turn to ash the moment he put it in his mouth. Which made it no different from the cupcake. He should eat it.
And he did.
And he spat out a half-masticated mess of green slop. "AUGH!!! NASTY!!! I friggin' hate vegetables! WHO PUT THIS HERE?! I'm gonna pound your face in, loser, now get ov--Mmph?!" A large pumpkin suddenly stopped up his piehole, and his piggy little eyes blinked rapidly in confusion. Who would dare?
Only one man, who was hunched over in the bushes, placing a plump purple finger to his fat pink lips. "Shhhh!"
"Ephhhmmm wumppurr!" King Hippo exclaimed despite the large wedged pumpkin in his mouth.
"Shhhh!" the Wizard hissed again, glancing to the left and right. "Gameshark's spies are everywhere. Put on your shorts and follow me!"
The Eggplant Wizard was perhaps the only sentient being in the universe unsettled by King Hippo in the nude, thus firmly securing his position as the most courageous stalwart man to ever exist. He beckoned, clasping the eggplant-tipped staff firmly in his hand.
Hippo didn't need to be told twice. Jerking on his shorts and mashing his feet into the bright red sneakers, the two hunched over to creep stealthily across the candy-littered plains. Like ninjas. Big, stupid ninjas. Ninjas whose every step squeaked like rubber on vinyl.
"How'dja find me?" the bewildered boxer finally blurted out, once the pumpkin was expelled. "And how'dja get here anyway?"
"Finding you was never a problem," the wizard replied, his singular eye peering at Hippo over his shoulder. "Everyone knows you're here. It was all over the billboards."
ATTENTION CITIZENS OF GAMESHARKLAND! THE COUCH KILLER IS SENTENCED TO A LAND WHERE EVERYTHING HE EATS IS ASH! HA HA HA!
--T. Cross
"It caused no end of confusion amongst the denizens of the Pokezone," Eggplant Wizard grumbled, having been on hand to see Brock's eyes actually OPEN at viewing the sign. They'd closed quickly enough once the other trainers explained that it referred to the sooty remains of a burned object, and not the Pikachu-toting teen-ager. "But we've got an important mission. We have to find the beautious Mother Brain!"
"Ma Brain, huh?" King Hippo scratched his head, pushing through a cotton candy bush to follow after his companion. "Makes sense. If anyone can come up with a plot ta foil that idiot gamemaster, it's h--oooooo...not too shabby..." He peered up at the airship.
Actually, shabby was giving the wreck too much credit. The vessel had clearly seen better days, most of the wood singed and cracked. A few holes still remained, but the really big ones were repaired with duct tape and large plastic band-aids. The letters "DIA" were faintly legible along the side. Whatever came before them was smeared and burned with black soot.
The wizard looked proud, punching his four-fingered fists into his hips. "There she is! The Dia! Isn't she beautiful?"
"Yeah sure whatever. Does it have one'a those mini fridges?" King Hippo tapped his foot impatiently.
It earned naught but a glare from the wizard, who grumbled about thankless buffoons as he shuffled onboard.
Shortly afterwards the engines hummed and hacked and coughed, and the rickety old ship managed to heave its once splendorous bulk into the sky. "Next stop: Planet Zebes!" Eggplant Wizard announced, seizing the controls. "If she's gotta be anywhere, she's gotta be there!"
King Hippo didn't answer. He was too busy sobbing for joy over a package of hot dogs in the fridge. They didn't have faces.
Floating lazily upon his back, the stocky legs kicked half-heartedly to propel him across the spring at a snail's pace. Leaves floated past, along with the occasional cupcake (which he'd stuff in his mouth out of pure instinct, despite the nasty taste of ash that choked his throat), a stick or two, a cucumber...
Waitaminit...
Since when had any sort of healthy produce been seen in this zone? King Hippo peered at it for a long moment as if it were an alien object. On the one hand, it was food that he hadn't seen in months. He should eat it. On the other hand, it was probably just going to turn to ash the moment he put it in his mouth. Which made it no different from the cupcake. He should eat it.
And he did.
And he spat out a half-masticated mess of green slop. "AUGH!!! NASTY!!! I friggin' hate vegetables! WHO PUT THIS HERE?! I'm gonna pound your face in, loser, now get ov--Mmph?!" A large pumpkin suddenly stopped up his piehole, and his piggy little eyes blinked rapidly in confusion. Who would dare?
Only one man, who was hunched over in the bushes, placing a plump purple finger to his fat pink lips. "Shhhh!"
"Ephhhmmm wumppurr!" King Hippo exclaimed despite the large wedged pumpkin in his mouth.
"Shhhh!" the Wizard hissed again, glancing to the left and right. "Gameshark's spies are everywhere. Put on your shorts and follow me!"
The Eggplant Wizard was perhaps the only sentient being in the universe unsettled by King Hippo in the nude, thus firmly securing his position as the most courageous stalwart man to ever exist. He beckoned, clasping the eggplant-tipped staff firmly in his hand.
Hippo didn't need to be told twice. Jerking on his shorts and mashing his feet into the bright red sneakers, the two hunched over to creep stealthily across the candy-littered plains. Like ninjas. Big, stupid ninjas. Ninjas whose every step squeaked like rubber on vinyl.
"How'dja find me?" the bewildered boxer finally blurted out, once the pumpkin was expelled. "And how'dja get here anyway?"
"Finding you was never a problem," the wizard replied, his singular eye peering at Hippo over his shoulder. "Everyone knows you're here. It was all over the billboards."
ATTENTION CITIZENS OF GAMESHARKLAND! THE COUCH KILLER IS SENTENCED TO A LAND WHERE EVERYTHING HE EATS IS ASH! HA HA HA!
--T. Cross
"It caused no end of confusion amongst the denizens of the Pokezone," Eggplant Wizard grumbled, having been on hand to see Brock's eyes actually OPEN at viewing the sign. They'd closed quickly enough once the other trainers explained that it referred to the sooty remains of a burned object, and not the Pikachu-toting teen-ager. "But we've got an important mission. We have to find the beautious Mother Brain!"
"Ma Brain, huh?" King Hippo scratched his head, pushing through a cotton candy bush to follow after his companion. "Makes sense. If anyone can come up with a plot ta foil that idiot gamemaster, it's h--oooooo...not too shabby..." He peered up at the airship.
Actually, shabby was giving the wreck too much credit. The vessel had clearly seen better days, most of the wood singed and cracked. A few holes still remained, but the really big ones were repaired with duct tape and large plastic band-aids. The letters "DIA" were faintly legible along the side. Whatever came before them was smeared and burned with black soot.
The wizard looked proud, punching his four-fingered fists into his hips. "There she is! The Dia! Isn't she beautiful?"
"Yeah sure whatever. Does it have one'a those mini fridges?" King Hippo tapped his foot impatiently.
It earned naught but a glare from the wizard, who grumbled about thankless buffoons as he shuffled onboard.
Shortly afterwards the engines hummed and hacked and coughed, and the rickety old ship managed to heave its once splendorous bulk into the sky. "Next stop: Planet Zebes!" Eggplant Wizard announced, seizing the controls. "If she's gotta be anywhere, she's gotta be there!"
King Hippo didn't answer. He was too busy sobbing for joy over a package of hot dogs in the fridge. They didn't have faces.