The Longing
Disclaimer:Again, I own nothing you recognize as JKR's.
Comments: Hey everyone. Well, here it is, Chapter 3! Sorry it took me son long, but I can only write on the weekends, so I will do my best to get you at least 2 chapters this weekend.
Chapter 3: The Snape Convention
For a minute, Harry and Severus Snape merely glared at each other. The atmosphere around them was deathly still. Anyone anywhere around the room wouldn't dare enter because the tension was stifling.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Snape conjured up his own chair and sat down, still glowering. Harry sat down on his bed, and he, too, was still glowering.
"Well, Potter, this is a fine mess you've gotten everyone into," said Snape breaking the silence.
"Excuse me?"
"Everyone, busting their tails, trying to keep little Harry Potter from either getting killed or doing it himself. It's a fine little mess, isn't it? And it's all your fault."
"YEAH! I KNOW IT BLOODY IS, ALL RIGHT! I KNOW THAT IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I ADMIT IT. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS!"
"Didn't ask for what, Potter? Everyone to come and collect you because they care about you? Didn't want anyone to know that you're scared? You think you can do it all on your own? You think you can defeat the Dark Lord all by yourself?"
"I didn't ask for Voldemort to kill my parents. I didn't ask to be made famous. And no, I didn't ask for people to come and get me. I didn't want them to, and I certainly don't want you here. I'M NOT MY FATHER! NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE LOOK ALIKE, I AM NOT JAMES POTTER! I wish I could have known my dad, I really do, and my mum. I wish I didn't have to live here, and I wish that all this wasn't happening, but you know what? You are making it worse. As bad as the Dursleys are, and as bad as they treated me, at least I don't have to look up to them. At least they aren't one of my bloody professors, and at least I can bloody well punch the living daylights out of any of them, but you," Harry spat out that word as though it made him sick, "but you Professor Snape, are someone that I can't deal with at all. And yes, I think I can take on Voldemort alone, and would rather have it that way, because if I die, I can die not hearing you laughing and scolding me about what I am doing wrong."
Harry sat back in silence. His teacher, too, was stunned for a minute. Harry had spilled out almost everything he had ever meant to say to the man.
"So, Potter, you think you need no one? You say that you aren't your father, but he, too, refused help. He had to do everything himself. Maybe you aren't exactly like you father, but there is too much of him in you to not take into account."
"You know that night, when you caught me in your penseive?" Harry asked the question after a few moments of silence.
"What about it?" growled Snape.
"I was actually really mad at my father. I didn't want to believe that he had done something that terrible. I felt bad about it. You know, Malfoy treats me like my father treated you, but at least you didn't have a professor treat you like a piece of vermin that should immediately be wiped from the face of the planet. At least you didn't have people gawking at your forehead when they first met you. At least you never had to deal with trying not to be famous, and then you do something and it makes you more famous. No. All you had to deal with were some school age bullies who set out to make your life miserable. So, let me apologize for anything the people I care about-save Wormtail- did to you. And then, let me apologize for the fact that I have to live in the shadow of Voldemort's many mistakes. But, finally, let me apologize for living, because I know that you wish I weren't."
"That was some speech, Harry," came a voice from the door. It was Dumbledore. "But I think this little meeting needs to end before a battle erupts. Severus, would you please wait outside, and tell Remus to come in. Thank you."
Snape left the room and soon Remus came in. He resumed his place beside Harry on Harry's bed.
"Harry," began Dumbledore, "I believe that you and Professor Snape have made a break-through, whether you think so or not. That is important. Now, I know that you feel as though you need to be alone to get what is done finished and over with, but all ties that you can make are very crucial, and we are not going to let you do this to yourself, or to us."
"Excuse me sir, but aren't you the one who told me that this is my task?"
"Yes, Harry. It is your job to kill Voldemort, and rid the world of his filth, but the journey there you do not have to travel alone."
Harry sighed. Remus said, "Look, kid. I know how you feel. You are afraid to lose everyone you care about, so you don't want to care about anyone. But we all care about you. Even Severus, somewhere in that heart of his, cares about you, even if it is only at a miniscule level. We are all here for you, and we want you to succeed. The outcome of what will happen rests on your shoulders, but it will affect us all. So, we are going to help you get to the level you must be at to succeed. And that is final."
"Okay, fine."
"Well, then. I will go to Mrs. Figg's house. I will meet you all there," said Dumbledore standing up. With that, he swept from the room.
"Harry," said Remus, looking at him, "what exactly did you say to Snape?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Listen, I know I am supposed to pack now, but I need to step outside for some air."
"Sure. I'll go with you."
Harry opened his mouth to say something, but he knew that it was pointless. But then he thought of an idea.
"How about you stay here? I really don't want to talk about anything right now. No offense. You could have Snape watch me. We are both keen on not talking to each other."
"Harry, there's something you are hiding from me, isn't there?"
"In a way, yes," Harry said truthfully.
"Well, as long as you don't plan on killing yourself, or Snape, and you promise to tell me soon, then I'll let you go this time."
"Thanks, Remus. I'll be right back."
Harry quickly, and as secretly as possible, grabbed his cigarettes and lighter and ran downstairs and out the door where he sat at the end of the driveway. He grabbed a fag and lit it. He inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly. He heard the door open and close.
He knew who it was, so he just inhaled again. A shadow came over him. Snape was standing right over him. He didn't care. He just took another long drag. Soon, he was done with the first one, but he wasn't ready to go back in, so he took out another one and lit it. He heard chuckling behind him.
"So, Potter, since when did you start smoking?" asked Snape obviously amused.
Harry let out the smoke he was holding and replied, "Why does it matter to you? You know, I asked for you to watch me because I thought that you would be silent."
"Stop being arrogant, Potter, and pass me one."
Harry looked up at his professor in shock. He reluctantly passed him his pack and his lighter.
"I didn't know you smoked, sir," said Harry trying to be respectful for once.
Snape must have caught his tone because he said fairly nicely, "I never liked to make it public, but since you had some, I thought I would break that."
Snape sat down on the curb, a little ways from Harry. They sat in silence. Harry finished his second fag and got up from the curb. Snape stood up too, flicked his fag in the street, and passed the pack and lighter back to Harry. They walked in together, not saying anything.
Harry walked back to his room, and saw Remus smiling at him.
"So, that's the secret? You smoke now?"
"Yeah."
"I never knew Severus smoked," Remus added thoughtfully.
"He said he didn't like to make it public," replied Harry simply.
"Understandable. Let's get you packed."
Closing Comments: Ha! I bet you weren't exactly expecting Snape to be a smoker. Who knows, you may find more about him than you thought. Again, thanks to all my reviewers. I will be putting up a few more chapters, and then I won't be able to post for a while. Stay with me, my faithful readers. I promise to get you more chapters.