Fractured Fairytales
By Jerle Shannara
Cinderella
The scene is a house. Cinderella, her overprotective stepmother and her overprotective stepsisters sit around the house.
Stepsister1: Let's play a game! Stepsister 2: What shall we play?
Stepmother: How about Scrabble
Cinderella: I think I'll pass.
Stepmom: What's wrong?
Cinderella: I'm just not interested.
Stepsister1: Or we could dance!
Cinderella: No!
Stepmom: Come oooon Cindy, ya gotta! If you're gonna go to the ball tonight- --(she and the Stepsisters burst into song) We are family! I got my mama and my sisters and me! We are family!
Cinderella: Shut up! I don't even know how to dance!
Sister: Come on Cindy, we'll show you how! (They grab her as jazzy music plays.
Cindy: Stop!
Stepmom: That's it, I'm sending for Magic Wanda!
Stepsisters (in awe): Magic Wanda!
The scene is a little later. The doorbell rings and Magic Wanda enters.
Magic Wanda: So what can I do for you today?
Stepmom: I think something's wrong with Cindy.
Wanda: Hmmm, let's see. (launches into a parody of Matchmaker).
Cindy: That was totally pointless.
Wanda: Oh that's just the beginning.
Cindy: You overinflated underpaid (Magic Wanda nods vigorously in agreement) windbag!
Wanda: Hmmm, this is gonna be harder than I thought, but don't worry! I got an idea. (Takes out a cell phone and dials) Yeah, I want the spineless guy. (Listens) I don't care if he's at the mall, just bring him here!
Scene: A few minutes later the doorbell rings. When it opens, the guy on the other side is kinda sexy if unassuming and---well---kinda boring. A fanfare plays.
Guy: Dude cut it out!
Wanda: Cindy, I present to you the Prince formerly known as Charming! You two will be married and live happily ever after! (and so they did.
By Jerle Shannara
Cinderella
The scene is a house. Cinderella, her overprotective stepmother and her overprotective stepsisters sit around the house.
Stepsister1: Let's play a game! Stepsister 2: What shall we play?
Stepmother: How about Scrabble
Cinderella: I think I'll pass.
Stepmom: What's wrong?
Cinderella: I'm just not interested.
Stepsister1: Or we could dance!
Cinderella: No!
Stepmom: Come oooon Cindy, ya gotta! If you're gonna go to the ball tonight- --(she and the Stepsisters burst into song) We are family! I got my mama and my sisters and me! We are family!
Cinderella: Shut up! I don't even know how to dance!
Sister: Come on Cindy, we'll show you how! (They grab her as jazzy music plays.
Cindy: Stop!
Stepmom: That's it, I'm sending for Magic Wanda!
Stepsisters (in awe): Magic Wanda!
The scene is a little later. The doorbell rings and Magic Wanda enters.
Magic Wanda: So what can I do for you today?
Stepmom: I think something's wrong with Cindy.
Wanda: Hmmm, let's see. (launches into a parody of Matchmaker).
Cindy: That was totally pointless.
Wanda: Oh that's just the beginning.
Cindy: You overinflated underpaid (Magic Wanda nods vigorously in agreement) windbag!
Wanda: Hmmm, this is gonna be harder than I thought, but don't worry! I got an idea. (Takes out a cell phone and dials) Yeah, I want the spineless guy. (Listens) I don't care if he's at the mall, just bring him here!
Scene: A few minutes later the doorbell rings. When it opens, the guy on the other side is kinda sexy if unassuming and---well---kinda boring. A fanfare plays.
Guy: Dude cut it out!
Wanda: Cindy, I present to you the Prince formerly known as Charming! You two will be married and live happily ever after! (and so they did.