Entry 1
I have decided to start a diary for no particular reason whatsoever. It
will most likely be very boring because NOTHING EVER HAPPENS in my life,
but it will kill some time, anyway.
Entry 2 Bilbo's birthday party to-day. Awesome, especially when Merry and I set off dragon firework. But then, Gandalf caught us and we had to wash dishes. Darn Gandalf.
Entry 3 Bilbo has left the Shire for good. He has left his entire estate to Frodo, and the Sackville-Bagginses have been on his case about it ever since. Can't say a civil word to him! Merry and I have planned revenge, though. We decided to follow Lotho home from the pub one night and slosh him with ice water. Will be great fun and I hope it works out.
Entry 4 Ran into Frodo and Sam, to-day. Literally. Rammed into them when fleeing Farmer Maggot (I won't go into THAT episode, it's a long story, but let's just say this guy has some issues). Fell down cliff- Not fun; however, just avoided some poop, VERY good. Frodo and Sam claim they're on some sort of quest. Whatever. Had to flee for life from riders in black and hurl self onto ferry. Made rather a fool of myself when Merry told me to untie the ropes and I didn't know how. Stupid Merry.
Entry 5 Traveled to a place called Bree. Rather rough spot. Have discovered a wonderful thing called pints (two glasses of ale in one) though, so don't really mind it. Apparently Gandalf was supposed to meet us here, but he still hasn't shown up. I suggested that he's probably going to stand us up, but everyone just told me to shutup. Hmph, fine then, they can wait here forever, see if I care. Some outlaw who calls himself "Strider" kidnapped Frodo and carried him off. Sam made us go and save him, although it turned out he didn't need saving. Get over it Sam, Frodo is not a baby, he can take care of himself. Besides, I wouldn't have minded too much if Frodo had gotten bumped off, as he is a bit of a wet blanket.
Entry 6 I was RIGHT! HA! Gandalf DIDN'T come! Now, don't get me wrong, I am NOT pleased about this, especially because now STRIDER is going to lead us to Weathertop, which was apparently site B for Gandalf-meeting.
Entry 7 Bloody ranger! First he walks in and takes over the outfit, and then he limits meals! And as if that isn't enough, he dragged us through a bloody swamp in the autumn! am beginning to contemplate mutiny.
Entry 8 Have interesting news for once. Last night, went to a largish hill which Frodo called "Weathertop" and Strider called Amon something or other, I wasn't really listening, and got attacked by the Black Riders. Notice the plural. Apparently, there's more than one. In fact, there are NINE. Talk about unfair. Anyway, Frodo got himself stabbed by one of them and has started to act strange. There's something wrong with him, I think. Well, aside from the fact that he got a sword put through his shoulder, I mean. Strider is trying to make it to Rivendell, even though it is six days from here and it is quite obvious to anyone who has an ounce more brains then a cuckoo clock that Frodo is not going to make it that far.
Entry 9 We have still not reached Rivendell. Frodo is no longer with us though, cuz this beautiful elf woman came on a white horse and carried him off. Traditional, although it's usually the male who rides in and does the rescuing and the girl who gets carried off. Oh well, this whole trip hasn't been exactly convetional.
Entry 10 We are now at Rivendell. Frodo woke up late this morning. Everyone is surprised he lived due to what is called "morgul poison" that was on the sword. Apparently, this causes you to transcend into the middle stage between hobbit and corpse and ride around on black horses in matching black cloaks. Anyway, Rivendell is a jolly place and I hope we stay here for quite a while. There are no pints here, but I'm willing to rough it for a while.
Entry 11 Elrond had a "secret" council today, but Merry and I weren't invited. We snuck in anyway, though, and listened in. lots of it I didn't get. Insisted upon joining quest thingy after Sam made a hero of himself by playing the noble pal. Will be joined by several other barrels of fun, known as Boromir, Gimli, and Legolas. Oh, and Gandalf FINALLY showed up (about time too) and will also be joining us. Oh, and unfortunately Strider will be joining our little party also, although his name is not Strider, it is Aragorn. He is apparently some big king guy. Cha, yeah right! Also found out he likes Arwen (the elfin lass who came and rescued Frodo). Bwaha, I shall have to remember this for blackmail opportunities later.
Entry 12 Have started quest and are making our way toward the mountains. A rather sorry group I'm traveling with too. Too bad Arwen didn't come. I rather like Legolas. He is very cool and mysterious, but I wish he wouldn't call me "Little one". I might be forced to pop him one in the near future if he continues this habit. Also, his hair is too blond. He needs to darken it a few shades. He's just not getting the "rugged hunter" look. Boromir has been teaching Merry and I sword fighting. Geez, it's a good thing Merry had me here to protect him, or else he'd be in serious trouble. He fights like a girl! Oh well, he'll learn eventually. Anyway, going back to my earlier statement of what a sorry group I'm stuck with; we had to make an undignified scramble for cover when some largish black crows flew over head. What a bunch of ninnies I'm traveling with! Afraid of some bloody birds! Cheesh.
Entry 13 Reached the mountain today. Not much has happened. Oh, wait, Frodo took a tumble down the mountain and dropped the ring. Boromir picked it up and was kinda admiring it, and Strider practically bit his head off! Stupid Strider. I think of an incredibly annoying nickname for Strider... um... how about... Stridy! No, not good enough.... Stridy POO!! YES!! I'm a GENIUS! Okay then, STRIDY POO it is!
Entry 14 Weather on the mountain getting increasingly nasty as we go further up. Boromir had to carry Merry and me because we were too short and would have been completely underneath the snow. That's how bad the weather is. However, Legolas was walking ON TOP of the snow, and rather gloating about it. We were all wading through it like dogs. Think I shall have to think of nasty nickname for Legolas. Naw, maybe not. Just the thought of that bow over his shoulder is enough to stem my creativity.
Entry 15 Finally got to turn back off of the mountain! Good thing to because the whole thing was beginning to come down. At one point actually, we were all completely buried. Legolas popped right out of the snow. Very impressive. Elf skills very lucky thing to posses, must get me some.
Entry 16 I found out we are going to the "Mines of Moria" Why am I always the last one to find out about everything? Gandalf does not seem too eager, and Legolas is downright pissed. Apparently, elves do not like mines. Well, I probably won't either, if it's how Legolas describes it.
Entry 17 Things don't seem to be warming up much. I'm shivering right now. It might help if we had a FIRE, but all high and mighty Stridy-poo has forbidden it. Said some rot about not revealing our position. We have come in sight of what Gimli calls "The Walls of Moria". Big whoop. They look like black cliffs to me.
Entry 18 Lots to write about in such a small amount of time. Haven't been able to sit down long enough to write without falling asleep exhausted first. Well, as I said before, we reached the walls of Moria. We walked along them until we came to a door that glowed. I should get me one of those. Well, they were the doors into Moria, and we needed a password to open them. Gandalf didn't know the password. Ha, for once HE'S wrong! Anyway, Boromir started throwing stones into the lake and Stridy-poo practically bit his head off AGAIN. I really don't know what he is so uptight about. Like, relax Stridy, it's not the end of the world. Frodo finally discovered the password, being the bright hobbit he is (score one for the hobbits!). The doors opened and we went inside. However, we promptly exited again as the entire place was covered with dead bodies and had been taken over by orcs. Joy. However, no sooner had we gotten outside than Frodo was grabbed by a giant lake monster! After we dealt with THAT nuisance (Stridy Poo and Boromir hacked away for like, then minutes at the things legs and still couldn't seem to find the particular one holding Frodo. Pah, blatant incompetence. It was only fixed when Legolas shot the thing in the face), we found ourselves BACK in the mine, with all the dead bodies and all the orcs with the doorway collapsed behind us. It's just all fun today isn't it? well, for nearly two days now, we have been trudging through this beastly place. Well, eventually, we come to a landing with three doorways leading off it. Three doorways that Gandalf doesn't recognize. So, here we sit, in the dark, with our guide completely stumped hence no way to get out. Someone must be out to get me.
Entry 19
Entry 2 Bilbo's birthday party to-day. Awesome, especially when Merry and I set off dragon firework. But then, Gandalf caught us and we had to wash dishes. Darn Gandalf.
Entry 3 Bilbo has left the Shire for good. He has left his entire estate to Frodo, and the Sackville-Bagginses have been on his case about it ever since. Can't say a civil word to him! Merry and I have planned revenge, though. We decided to follow Lotho home from the pub one night and slosh him with ice water. Will be great fun and I hope it works out.
Entry 4 Ran into Frodo and Sam, to-day. Literally. Rammed into them when fleeing Farmer Maggot (I won't go into THAT episode, it's a long story, but let's just say this guy has some issues). Fell down cliff- Not fun; however, just avoided some poop, VERY good. Frodo and Sam claim they're on some sort of quest. Whatever. Had to flee for life from riders in black and hurl self onto ferry. Made rather a fool of myself when Merry told me to untie the ropes and I didn't know how. Stupid Merry.
Entry 5 Traveled to a place called Bree. Rather rough spot. Have discovered a wonderful thing called pints (two glasses of ale in one) though, so don't really mind it. Apparently Gandalf was supposed to meet us here, but he still hasn't shown up. I suggested that he's probably going to stand us up, but everyone just told me to shutup. Hmph, fine then, they can wait here forever, see if I care. Some outlaw who calls himself "Strider" kidnapped Frodo and carried him off. Sam made us go and save him, although it turned out he didn't need saving. Get over it Sam, Frodo is not a baby, he can take care of himself. Besides, I wouldn't have minded too much if Frodo had gotten bumped off, as he is a bit of a wet blanket.
Entry 6 I was RIGHT! HA! Gandalf DIDN'T come! Now, don't get me wrong, I am NOT pleased about this, especially because now STRIDER is going to lead us to Weathertop, which was apparently site B for Gandalf-meeting.
Entry 7 Bloody ranger! First he walks in and takes over the outfit, and then he limits meals! And as if that isn't enough, he dragged us through a bloody swamp in the autumn! am beginning to contemplate mutiny.
Entry 8 Have interesting news for once. Last night, went to a largish hill which Frodo called "Weathertop" and Strider called Amon something or other, I wasn't really listening, and got attacked by the Black Riders. Notice the plural. Apparently, there's more than one. In fact, there are NINE. Talk about unfair. Anyway, Frodo got himself stabbed by one of them and has started to act strange. There's something wrong with him, I think. Well, aside from the fact that he got a sword put through his shoulder, I mean. Strider is trying to make it to Rivendell, even though it is six days from here and it is quite obvious to anyone who has an ounce more brains then a cuckoo clock that Frodo is not going to make it that far.
Entry 9 We have still not reached Rivendell. Frodo is no longer with us though, cuz this beautiful elf woman came on a white horse and carried him off. Traditional, although it's usually the male who rides in and does the rescuing and the girl who gets carried off. Oh well, this whole trip hasn't been exactly convetional.
Entry 10 We are now at Rivendell. Frodo woke up late this morning. Everyone is surprised he lived due to what is called "morgul poison" that was on the sword. Apparently, this causes you to transcend into the middle stage between hobbit and corpse and ride around on black horses in matching black cloaks. Anyway, Rivendell is a jolly place and I hope we stay here for quite a while. There are no pints here, but I'm willing to rough it for a while.
Entry 11 Elrond had a "secret" council today, but Merry and I weren't invited. We snuck in anyway, though, and listened in. lots of it I didn't get. Insisted upon joining quest thingy after Sam made a hero of himself by playing the noble pal. Will be joined by several other barrels of fun, known as Boromir, Gimli, and Legolas. Oh, and Gandalf FINALLY showed up (about time too) and will also be joining us. Oh, and unfortunately Strider will be joining our little party also, although his name is not Strider, it is Aragorn. He is apparently some big king guy. Cha, yeah right! Also found out he likes Arwen (the elfin lass who came and rescued Frodo). Bwaha, I shall have to remember this for blackmail opportunities later.
Entry 12 Have started quest and are making our way toward the mountains. A rather sorry group I'm traveling with too. Too bad Arwen didn't come. I rather like Legolas. He is very cool and mysterious, but I wish he wouldn't call me "Little one". I might be forced to pop him one in the near future if he continues this habit. Also, his hair is too blond. He needs to darken it a few shades. He's just not getting the "rugged hunter" look. Boromir has been teaching Merry and I sword fighting. Geez, it's a good thing Merry had me here to protect him, or else he'd be in serious trouble. He fights like a girl! Oh well, he'll learn eventually. Anyway, going back to my earlier statement of what a sorry group I'm stuck with; we had to make an undignified scramble for cover when some largish black crows flew over head. What a bunch of ninnies I'm traveling with! Afraid of some bloody birds! Cheesh.
Entry 13 Reached the mountain today. Not much has happened. Oh, wait, Frodo took a tumble down the mountain and dropped the ring. Boromir picked it up and was kinda admiring it, and Strider practically bit his head off! Stupid Strider. I think of an incredibly annoying nickname for Strider... um... how about... Stridy! No, not good enough.... Stridy POO!! YES!! I'm a GENIUS! Okay then, STRIDY POO it is!
Entry 14 Weather on the mountain getting increasingly nasty as we go further up. Boromir had to carry Merry and me because we were too short and would have been completely underneath the snow. That's how bad the weather is. However, Legolas was walking ON TOP of the snow, and rather gloating about it. We were all wading through it like dogs. Think I shall have to think of nasty nickname for Legolas. Naw, maybe not. Just the thought of that bow over his shoulder is enough to stem my creativity.
Entry 15 Finally got to turn back off of the mountain! Good thing to because the whole thing was beginning to come down. At one point actually, we were all completely buried. Legolas popped right out of the snow. Very impressive. Elf skills very lucky thing to posses, must get me some.
Entry 16 I found out we are going to the "Mines of Moria" Why am I always the last one to find out about everything? Gandalf does not seem too eager, and Legolas is downright pissed. Apparently, elves do not like mines. Well, I probably won't either, if it's how Legolas describes it.
Entry 17 Things don't seem to be warming up much. I'm shivering right now. It might help if we had a FIRE, but all high and mighty Stridy-poo has forbidden it. Said some rot about not revealing our position. We have come in sight of what Gimli calls "The Walls of Moria". Big whoop. They look like black cliffs to me.
Entry 18 Lots to write about in such a small amount of time. Haven't been able to sit down long enough to write without falling asleep exhausted first. Well, as I said before, we reached the walls of Moria. We walked along them until we came to a door that glowed. I should get me one of those. Well, they were the doors into Moria, and we needed a password to open them. Gandalf didn't know the password. Ha, for once HE'S wrong! Anyway, Boromir started throwing stones into the lake and Stridy-poo practically bit his head off AGAIN. I really don't know what he is so uptight about. Like, relax Stridy, it's not the end of the world. Frodo finally discovered the password, being the bright hobbit he is (score one for the hobbits!). The doors opened and we went inside. However, we promptly exited again as the entire place was covered with dead bodies and had been taken over by orcs. Joy. However, no sooner had we gotten outside than Frodo was grabbed by a giant lake monster! After we dealt with THAT nuisance (Stridy Poo and Boromir hacked away for like, then minutes at the things legs and still couldn't seem to find the particular one holding Frodo. Pah, blatant incompetence. It was only fixed when Legolas shot the thing in the face), we found ourselves BACK in the mine, with all the dead bodies and all the orcs with the doorway collapsed behind us. It's just all fun today isn't it? well, for nearly two days now, we have been trudging through this beastly place. Well, eventually, we come to a landing with three doorways leading off it. Three doorways that Gandalf doesn't recognize. So, here we sit, in the dark, with our guide completely stumped hence no way to get out. Someone must be out to get me.
Entry 19