Disclaimer: I don't own AsoUE and I never will, because I'm not Lemony
Snicket/Daniel Handier... I don't own Hands Clean, because I'm not
Alanis Morissette
A/N: Hey, guys... My first songfic in a while... SCHOOL'S OUT ON TOMORROW! I absolutely can't wait... Then, I'll update my things a lot more and write more songfics and stuff. Okay...To writing...
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If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much
--
Isadora slumped down unto her pillow, not wanting to wake up and smell the disgusting coffee that Duncan said that he had to have in the mornings. She especially didn't want to go to horrible high school. The pillow felt soft and comforting as it always was. Her head silently dug more into the pillow, trapping the face in the darkness, hiding from the morning brightness. She snuggled into the darkness some more, before her eyes slowly began to fall. After a while, it was clear that she had fallen asleep again.
A sharp knock on her door brought her weary eyelids to slowly slide open again. Her eyes opened and she scanned the room, looking for the place where the noise was coming from. They fell upon the door that was locked shut, so nobody would disturb her very important sleep. Her eyes rolled silently, knowing that it was Duncan who always wanted her up before school started... If she wanted to get to school on time, she would have woken up on time... it was fairly obvious to the naked eye.
"Isadora, I'm not going to let you skip school again," Duncan said through the door as Isadora grinded her head into her pillow, trying to block the annoying sound. "And I'm not going to let you sleep until past midnight tonight." Isadora moaned softly and lifted her head slightly... and then dropped it back down. This was what she hated the most: morning of dread and attempting to got up before giving up and slumping back down unto her fluffy pillow. Isadora heard a small clicking sound that sounded like Duncan was trying to pick the lock to her medium-sized bedroom. There was a louder click and the familiar sound of her door opening.
"Isadora, up now!" Duncan said, throwing the soft covers off of her head. "Get up, I'm leaving in 20 minutes and you're coming with me." Isadora lifted her small body up off of the bed and silently went into her bathroom to brush her already pearly-white teeth that didn't really need cleaning.
--
Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime
--
After about a half-n-hour, Duncan came out of the Quagmire mansion, pushing Isadora out with him, encouraged by her complaints and grumbles. Isadora finally gave up and quit struggling to break free and go back to sleep. She mumbled something that she hoped Duncan didn't hear, but he blinked and asked the question that Isadora wished he wouldn't.
"What was that?" Duncan blinked, trying to decipher what Isadora had just said under her breath. Isadora stopped walking and looked up at Duncan, her jaw set without even the trace of a smile on her face. She thought quickly about what she could say that wouldn't land her into deeper trouble than she was already in. She silently inhaled a deep breath, thinking about what to say.
"I said, I wished I hadn't skipped school," Isadora lied through her teeth. "I would have been able to see K—I mean, the Baudelaires. The stupid actions are the key to having stupid solutions." Isadora breathed in again. It wasn't that bad; well, maybe it was fun, lying to your brother like that. She scanned Duncan's expressions. His face was a mix of calmness, anger, and relief. She exhaled, letting the carbon dioxide flood out of her lungs where it had been trapped for quite a while, when Isadora was pondering if it was safe to breathe, wondering about the lies she was going to make.
"Good, you learned a lesson," Duncan sighed in relief from the anger that had just blown out of his system. "But you won't see Sunny... she's in elementary school, Isadora..." He looked at her before turning back to the sidewalk in front of him. His chest got huge and then a needle struck him, making his chest become normal size again. It was obvious that Duncan just wanted the best for Isadora, but it seemed to Isadora that he was just too darn protective. She felt like she couldn't grow up, when she was older than him. She felt held back from the world, because of Duncan... she wanted a normal life where she could be who she wanted to be.
--
We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
--
Isadora run into the office and, after scanning for the assistant principal, calmed her breathing down just a bit. She had had always believed that they shut the doors after 8:00, not right at 8:00. They were just pure evil; they had slammed the door in her face right at the time that she was supposed to be in the building, slamming it shut right before she had gotten to the platform where the door was located.
Isadora glared at the assistant principal as she came strolling like a princess in her kingdom where her father controlled everything to Isadora. Isadora's glare consisted of plain brown eyes focusing on a target, hoping to murder it with everything that it possessed in its power. Sure, some people thought it was stupid... well, most people thought it was stupid, but that wasn't the point... the point was that she could murder this assistant principal with her glare.
"Oh, stop pouting like that, Miss Quagmire," The assistant principal said, looking at Isadora with her jeweled glasses that made her face look quite pale, because the glasses were a bright pink striking a dull white. "Why were you late? I'm not stupid, Miss. You've been absent three days in a row. I'm not going to take stupid excuses... what's your excuse this time?" The assistant principal looked like she was very tired of doing this stuff... going through all of this just so Isadora could go to class... well, so Isadora could have permission to go to class. There was a big difference in those statements.
"You see, I was very sick," Isadora lied again. That had to be a miracle that she had pulled off two lies in one day... amazing. Isadora couldn't stand to lie to people, because it was severely unhealthy for you to keep on lying and lying and not knowing where your limits on lying are. "My brother didn't know why I couldn't get out of bed." Well, that part was true enough. "I was coughing like crazy, and I definitely didn't want to infect the other students. That would be horrible. I got better late last night, and then I came back to school today." The assistant principal looked at her above her glasses again before handing her the tardy slip. Isadora grabbed it and ran to her first class.
--
You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it
--
"Miss Quagmire, where is your tardy slip?" Isadora stopped moving and looked behind her to see Mr. Lung looking straight at her with a serious face that looked like it was plastered there by a plastic person. Isadora flinched, knowing that she would be in a world of trouble if she didn't march up there right now and hand the tardy slip to him perfectly before he could say anything else that would drop her grade a bit lower. She bit her lip, holding her comment buried deep inside her thoughts, and walked toward Mr. Lung who looked like he was going to explode. She quickly gave it to him and practically run back to her seat next to Klaus, mumbling about bad teachers.
Mr. Lung's eyes quickly scanned the small piece of blue paper, now laying on his desk. His eyes were cold gray that could glare you to death, much unlike Isadora's glare of beautiful brown eyes that was really a bit silly in a way if you thought about it in that manner. Isadora yawned as he finished reading the small note. She really hadn't gotten enough sleep, which was pretty weird, because she had fallen asleep at 10 last night, but that wasn't the point; she was dead tired.
"Isadora," Klaus said, grabbing her attention nearly instantly and causing her to jump a little bit. "Oh, I didn't mean to startle you... but can we met at your house this afternoon?" Isadora breathed in through her nose and then quickly exhaled, thinking about the choices she had. First, Duncan might not allow her coming into the house with another man... but he was always at the Baudelaire Mansion, "helping" Violet, but she would go home with Klaus anyway. Second, break heart Klaus' heart and turn him down. It was obvious her choice, the number that didn't involve breaking a heart.
"Okay," Isadora whispered to Klaus, glancing up at the blackboard where Mr. Lung was writing her name up unto the board.
--
Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime
--
Isadora slammed her head into her locker, causing the several of the people passing by to stare at her with disbelief that she had actually slammed her head in her locker. Isadora ignored their points and stares and causally opened her locker like nothing had happened. The locker happened to be one of the messiest in the high school... it was cluttered with napkins and packages of ketchups and ranch dressing... binders stuffed with junk inhabited the lower section of the locker... old school projects were crumpled and stuffed into the back of middle section... lip glosses were basically impossible to find... in other words, it was horribly messy.
Isadora grabbed her Geometry and Health books and slammed it shut. She hated those two classes, but she hadn't gotten out of them yet with her horribly low grades. It was basically impossible to pass those classes with an 'A'. No, that wasn't actually true, Klaus passed with an 'A'. Isadora growled silently, thinking about her D- in the class. She hurried along to Klaus' locker, finding him there.
"Hey, will you help me with my Geometry homework tonight?" Isadora breathed, staring straight into Klaus' eyes. "I'm nearly flunking and I really need some help from a master." She softly rubbed his soft arm while she talked, eyelashes fluttering wildly at him. "But if you don't want to, you don't have to... but then, I'd be really sad and disappointed." Klaus raised his eyebrows; this wasn't the Isadora Klaus knew... or was she even Isadora? No, that was a silly question... or was it? Klaus shook his head, causing his hair to be positioned at an even more awkward place.
"I'm going to help you," Klaus said seriously before turning silly. "But I'm not going to have sex with you..." Klaus bashed his head on HIS locker... making more things in common with Isadora... He had meant that to be silly, but it had come out serious... why did his life have to be like this? 'Okay' was Isadora's reply, and a kiss on the cheek followed it.
--
We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
--
Isadora walked quickly off the curb and bounced her book bag against her back again to show how happy she was, even thinking about the 'study' session with Klaus made her giggle like mad... it was going to be a long evening for Klaus if this giggling kept up how it was going. Isadora sighed... she loved that feeling that was running through her veins, causing her to smile like a mad man, but it didn't let her rest at all... It was absolutely wonderful to her own eyes, like it was a miracle sent by the gods to reward for her very well done work in the department of kissing her boyfriend who no one knows that he's her boyfriend. Interesting world...
Isadora stopped as she came to the stony steps of the Quagmire Mansion. She saw many people pass her by, but none asked her what she was doing, or even glanced her way. Sure, it was just a small city where about 10,000 people lived, but she always expected someone to even look at her. Sure, there was a chance that someone might... but it was more likely that they wouldn't, being the nice people they were... Isadora climbed the stony steps that were made of stones, which was quite obvious.
Isadora hopped the last step and didn't quite make it to the platform where the expensive door stood. She crashed onto the steps, by losing her balance on the hopping act... She pulled herself up and winced as she looked at the blood that was pouring out of the wound on her left elbow. She opened the door with difficulty, because the door was jammed. The door creaked open, and Isadora pulled herself through the small opening. She hated to pull the door all the way open, because little insects might be flying around, and then, they would get in the house and infect everything with their little... beings. Isadora gently pulled the door closed, hoping to smash the insects in midair.
Isadora stormed to the kitchen and walked quickly to the pantry, where Duncan kept all the bandages and medicines and junk. She pulled the door open and peered inside. There was a whole bunch of aspirin floating around, and there was a little bit of anti-depression medicine gingering in there, too. Isadora wondered why Duncan had put anti-depression medicine in there, if he was always cheerful and happy like. It didn't make sense to her, until a thought flashed through her mind that Duncan was that way, because he took it. Isadora pulled out the bandages from the back of the pantry.
She pushed herself down onto a chair and relaxed her elbow for a moment. One by one, Isadora pulled out bandages, estimating about how many she would need for the wound. The total estimate turned out to be about four bandages for the pretty small wound that didn't cover the area that you probably would cover with only one bandages. She pulled off the little strips of covering off the bandage and slowly struck it to her skin. She relaxed for a moment afterward, but then, slowly started the process of putting another bandage on again until she had four bandages struck to her. She sighed in relief as she slumped back onto the back of the chair, grinning like an insane person once again.
--
What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
What with this distance it seems so obvious?
--
The sharp knock on the door rang through the house, causing Isadora to slide toward the door swiftly. She opened the door forcefully against her beliefs about the insects and all, but she did open it wide enough for two people could walk through it easily. She happened to be grinning like a maniac again, but she really didn't care what he thought now... he was in her house... alone expect that Duncan was in his room, doing his homework... and they were going to get to work, so Duncan couldn't blame her for anything. She smiled at that, which made her smile bigger, which many people would believe that it was impossible to get a grin that big.
"Hi," Isadora struggled to get that out. "Where are my manners?" She knew exactly where her manners were; they were upstairs with Duncan, studying. "Come in! I'll not going to bite!" She laughed at her own joke and then slapped herself for even thinking about laughing a joke that she had made up. But she hadn't made it up... she slapped herself again. Klaus cracked a grin her way... but he was probably just being nice to her for some reason that she couldn't decipher right now... She was too busy goggling at him to even think straight or think about thinking straight. She lowered her grin that had been plastered to her face ever since Klaus had said 'yes' to her early.
Klaus stepped into the living room and spoke, "Is Duncan here? I'm dying to see him again after all these years!" Isadora's grin dropped to turn into a frown. She had thought that Klaus had there for her... not for Duncan. She silently growled at Duncan under her breath, but made sure that it wasn't loud enough for Klaus to hear. She thought about her answer to Klaus' question. She had several options in this problem. She could lie to Klaus, and probably make him angry with her for lying, or she could tell the truth and lose Klaus to Duncan who would probably ruin her romantic evening that she had planned. She cursed at him under her breath again, hoping that he would silently die.
--
Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body
--
Isadora listened to the two boys just chat and chat and chat. It was so boring that she wanted to scream her head off in frustration for those two. It seemed like all they wanted to do was to talk about girls... about school... about music... about sisters... about moody girls... about soda... about stories... about teachers... ABOUT SISTERS! Isadora glared one of her infamous glares at the boys. They turned to her, and after seeing her glare, rolled their eyes, causing Isadora to curse them under her breath again with more 'mph' now. She hated how the conversation was going on... boring...
"Like I was saying, before Isadora wanted to cuss us out to death," Duncan said, returning her glare, causing her to curse again. "I don't really care for Geometry that much. I've always thought of it as a boring class that they wanted us to take to torture us." There was the Duncan Isadora remembered. "But I don't really care if they want to torture us or not. I'm going to learn it good, and it's going to be a passing class for me." Isadora's eyes rolled at that comment. She knew that he just wanted to embarrass her in front of Klaus, which didn't happen.
--
Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime
--
Isadora looked at Klaus as he sat on the couch, studying carefully, trying to point out the main points for Isadora, when she wasn't really even listening. Duncan was sitting in a chair across the room from them, reading 'To Kill A Mockingbird' with great passion. It didn't help that he was quietly reading aloud. She could have screamed her head off in frustration again, but she restrained herself, which wasn't like what happened before. She had ended up saying that she really needed help with her homework from Klaus, and then they kind of backed off.
"Isadora, are you even listening to me?" Klaus' annoyed voice flew into her mind. She shook her head, brushing off the thoughts she had been thinking. She leaned closer to him, and kissed him on the lips. Klaus, as shocked as he was, deepened the kiss, enhancing the tingly feeling that was going through them both. Duncan looked up from his book to see Klaus and his sister making out on their couch. His mouth nearly fell to the floor.
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Heh... review!