Title: Something's gotta give
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex (is there any other?)
Rating: PG-13? I was slashing Sailor Moon when I was 13, so what do I know?
Author: Lillian Luthor
E-mail: issokyahoo.com
Feedback: sure, I'm a bitch for it... I'll even settle for flames if you have nothing good to say
Archive: if you care enough to want it, you have it. just let me know, or whatever...
Disclaimer: they're not mine, nothing this pretty has ever been mine... I'm just borrowing, in an amateur and unprofitable kind of way.
--o--
"Man, have I got good news for you" Pete said as a dropped himself on the chair across from Clark, an enormous smile playing on his face as he waved hello to Lana, who was just serving a table not far from theirs
"Hello to you too, Pete" he said with a smile of his own, noticing his friend's good mood "We seem pleased with ourselves... what's the big news?"
"Oh man, your buddy Pete here just got you a deal" Pete answered proudly "I just got you a hot date"
"Uh?" was the first thing that came to mind, followed immediately by "What the fuck are you talking about?", uttered entirely before his brain could catch up with his tongue, thus earning him a shout of Nice language, Kent from the jocks on the next table, closely followed by a choir of laughter. However, Pete didn't seem to mind as he went on;
"Well, Jenn and I had this date planned for Saturday..." he explained, referring to the girl he had been dating for nearly three months already "We had planned to go to Metropolis for a movie, then maybe a couple of drinks or something... but her cousin –who is one hot chick by the way- just came to visit out of the blue, and now we can't go unless we take her... so I was thinking, double date!" Pete finished cheerfully, sounding altogether like he was putting him under notice rather than asking him
"In other words" he translated "You're stuck with an extra chick, and you need me to get her off your back..."
"That's how you thank me?" Pete asked in mock hurt "You're eighteen already and you've never had a girlfriend; you're to shy to even ask a girl out... believe me, I'm doing you a favor" his fried assured him "She's really hot, I swear... and she's a city girl, maybe you'll even get lucky" and, was that Pete winking?
"Yeah, about that..." he started to complain, and he wasn't even going to mention how Pete was terribly narrow-minded to think all city girls were sluts. Actually, he didn't get to mention anything at all, because Pete was already standing up to leave;
"That's okay Clark, don't thank me" he interrupted him "It's all set then... we'll pick you up tomorrow at seven" and with that, he was gone.
--o--
"I'm not telling Lex this..." his mom warned him, shaking her head with disapproval as she finished setting the table
"Right..." he sighed, as he folded the napkins and put them in their respective places "I was thinking maybe we shouldn't tell him, I mean, why worry him..." he suggested nervously "It's not like anything is going to happen, it's just a friendly thing"
"Well, from what you told me Pete surely doesn't seem to be under that impression" she commented, and she was definitely sounding upset "I don't like this one bit, Clark" she glared at him, and wasn't she scary when she did that "I think Pete went over the top with this Metropolis date thing, and it's not a good idea... the principle of the thing is immoral"
"What is immoral?" sure enough, his father asked in a concerned voice as he walked into the kitchen
"Pete set Clark on a double date with his girlfriend's cousin" she sighed in defeat, because now that his dad was here... well, it wasn't going to be pretty
"Clark Jerome Kent, you call Pete this minute and cancel that!" his father declared, sounding final "If you think we will sit here and watch you do the unspeakable, well you were wrong young man!"
"But dad!" he whined, and if his dad weren't so mad he would probably call him on how annoyingly effeminate that was, but he didn't really care at the time "It's not like I'm going on a date-date... it's just Pete asked, and I couldn't tell him no..."
"Well, we Kents are not cheaters" his dad interrupted him, and did his father hear himself defending Lex's interests? It would have been hilarious three years ago, but now it was just plain embarrassing
"I'm in love with Lex dad, I'm not going to cheat on him!" he said indignant, and what was his dad thinking?
"Well, don't raise your voices boys" his mom interrupted, just in time to stop his dad's come back, which was probably going to be less than nice if the deadly glare he was giving him was any indication "Wouldn't it be better if you just told Pete about you and Lex, once and for all?" she plead with her eyes, and wasn't this a speech he knew by heart
"Mom" he whined yet some more, hoping it would carry his point "What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore? This is Smallville, not exactly gay capital of the world. What if he thinks it's... that I'm gross?"
"Clark" his father sighed, trying to calm down although he was obviously upset "You will have to face him eventually, and if he is truly your friend he will understand..."
"You're right dad" he conceded, because he was, only admitting that was way easier than coming out to the entire town "I promise I'll tell him, just let me go through with this... it's already Friday, and I can't cancel without been rude. I promise I will tell him about Lex and I right afterwards"
"Alright, son" his father agreed, not looking wholly convinced nonetheless "You're old enough to know what you're doing"
"I still think you should tell Lex, though" his mother insisted
"Alright mom, I will" he promised her, and with that they sat down for dinner
--o--
"Dad, I assure you this is unnecessary" Lex was saying to the phone, absolutely oblivious to Clark's presence as he walked into the room the next morning "Everything is absolutely under control, as you will see when the pertinent brief is delivered to you on Monday..." his boyfriend insisted, in that cold business tone he always used when speaking with Lionel, but he was obviously having no success if the way he frowned in annoyance was any indication "Very well dad, I'll be there in three hours..." Lex sighed in defeat after a while, disconnecting the call before looking up and noticing Clark's presence. A little smile immediately curled on his lips.
"Is Lionel been a pain in the ass again?" he frowned as he walked towards his boyfriend, planting a soft kiss on his lips before couching down next to his chair; he hated the way Lionel was always working hard on making Lex's life a living hell
"It's what he does, Clark" Lex sighed, reaching out to run a hand through his hair "I'm afraid I'll have to go to Metropolis for the weekend, spend some quality time with dad... someone has been feeding him some crap about funny loopholes in my books"
"Lex, there are funny loopholes in your books" he glared at Lex; deep down, he knew it wasn't Lex's fault that he had a shaky moral upbringing, and he was improving by the minute, so he tried to be flexible
"Decidedly not the point" Lex replied matter-of-factly "I cover up after myself all too well for anyone to get a hold of that information... it was probably some informant wanting to get rich the easy way. I will have to go to Metropolis for the weekend, though" he sighed, looking down at him with a resigned smile "Will you miss me?"
"I always miss you" he pouted, and he did; being without Lex for a whole weekend was like being without water for the whole summer. On the upside, however, this meant he wouldn't need to mention his little rendezvous with Pete...
"Show me how much you'll miss me, baby" Lex purred, and now they were talking. Lex's voice alone, when he spoke to him like that, was enough to make his cock jump in his pants in expectation.
"You know what they say..." Clark grinned as he slipped between his boyfriend's legs, one hand running teasingly up his thighs "...one blow-job speaks more than a thousand words..."
--o--
"Well, this is officially the first weekend night in years I see you wearing your school clothes out..." his father observed as he walked down the stairs wearing the same plaid shirt and baggy jeans he had worn all day "And no make up"
"God, dad!" he blushed "I don't wear make-up" he whined
"Don't do that, it's annoying" his father glared "And come on, Clark, I may be a farmer but I'm not blind... not even you have eyelashes that long"
"Dad!" he complained, trying hard to suppress the threatening whine "Mom! Dad is making fun of me!" he yelled at the kitchen, which succeeded at winning a good laugh from his dad as well as bringing his mom to the living room
"Don't be mean, Jon" she chuckled, obviously having heard the whole exchange from the kitchen "You look good in anything you wear, sweetie" she assured him in that mom tone that was less than convincing when it came to objectivity
"Yeah, right... plaid is my look" he rolled his eyes, hugging his mom tenderly; she was really great.
"Hey, watch it there son..." his father said, jokingly indignant "Some of us do think plaid is the height of fashion" he said, breaking into laughter before even finishing the sentence; his dad was great too.
It had really always amazed him how well his parents had taken to his relationship with Lex. He had hid the whole thing from them for several months, afraid of how they might react; he had been thinking in the lines of his dad with his shotgun, and his mom crying over the kitchen table. Amazingly, when after his sixteenth birthday he had gathered the courage to come clean with them, his mom had already known and his dad had been more annoyed about his 'playing Juliet to Lex's Romeo' than about the thing per se.
Now Lex had dinner with them on Sundays, amused his dad with his vast and varied amount of knowledge, and got his mom to side with him when Clark was been silly or stubborn about things. He just hoped Pete would prove likewise understanding, but it was a long shot from Clark's point of view, since his oldest friend's opinions of the Luthors had improved little to none during the years, despite his endless efforts in the matter. He was about to ask his mom to make him some hot cocoa while he waited, when he heard Pete's car in front of the house. It was a whole half and hour early.
"Mr. Kent, Mrs. Kent" Pete said politely when his mom greeted him at the door, urging him in "Clark, my man, I was right to pick you up first" his friend exclaimed, at what both him and his dad raised an eyebrow "Were you wearing that same outfit to shovel manure this afternoon?" he asked in disbelief, shaking his head as he headed for the stairs "Come on Clark, I know somewhere in your closet you must have something more up to the occasion than what you're wearing..."
"Wait, Pete" he plead, trailing after the retreating form of his friend, but by the time he made it to his bedroom Pete was already browsing through his wardrobe, and was holding the green T-shirt Lex had given him for their anniversary last year, and some black jeans that were too tight to be comfortable, although Lex insisted that was the whole point.
"Wow, these are nice Clark" Pete said appreciatively "Why don't you ever wear these?"
"Because I don't like those" he said, trying to sound stubborn enough about it that Pete wouldn't look further into his closet; he really hoped Pete's hands were clean, though, because that shirt was a designer one "My aunt Justine gave them to me for Christmas, but they are... er... too small" he added somewhat nervously when he saw Pete's skeptical look
"Man, Clark... you really couldn't dress if clothes fell on you" his friend shook his head in resignation "How are you ever going to get a girl? Go put these on" Pete commanded, and he knew he was out-ruled
--o--
The drive to Metropolis was relatively nice, with Pete and Jenn making good conversation that kept the awkwardness levels pretty low throughout the three-hour trip. Still, there was no way he could feel comfortable with Tiffany –Jenn's cousin from Edge City- checking him out the way she was. It was all Pete's fault, for making him wear his clubbing gear, and specially the jeans. To make things worse, his soon-to-be-ex-friend had conveniently failed to mention Jenn's cousin was a good three years older than him, and for the looks of it pretty confused as to the nature of their date.
In the end they decided against a movie –could have been because of his open dislike of the idea, and settled for some pizzas at a relatively nice place. Apart from the fact that he knew Tiffany was staring at his ass every time he stood up, and was sitting deliberately closer than decency suggested, it wasn't so bad. Pete was his usual funny self, and Jenn went along with him pretty well, which resulted in really amusing conversations. The thing got ugly, however, when he was informed that they were going to a very cool bar a friend of Jenn's had recommended.
All his obstinate complaining was useless, and fifteen minutes after that he found himself in a dark corner of a not so very cool bar, with Tiffany yapping on and on about how she had heard famous people came to that bar all the time –as if!-, and how it was the coolest place ever, all the while not quite discreetly flirting with him. Across the table, Pete stared at him in disbelief. It wasn't, however, until Tiffany apparently decided it was a better idea to try and cope a feel of his more private parts that he jumped from his seat and bolted for the men's room. It took about a fraction of a second for Pete to follow.
"What was that all about?" Pete asked confusedly, perhaps a bit annoyed
"She was feeling me up under the table" he whined, and his father hated when he did that "I really think we should go back to Smallville" he plead
"No way, man" Pete shook his head "I know you're not used to it, but she likes you... you should give her a chance, Clark, uh?" his friend winked suggestively, and what could he say to that? "Come on, let's go back to the table"
"Ok" he sighed, frustrated "You go, I'll be there in a second..."
"Sure, don't be long" Pete agreed, and then went back out. Unfortunately, as the door opened to let Pete out, someone else came in. He inwardly shrieked as he recognized the person coming in, and mentally screamed for help as the other guy recognized him.
"Clark? Oh my God, is that you Clarkie?" Patrick started all but yelling as soon as he saw him "Aw, you cute hot thing you! What are you doing in this dump? I'm sooooooo leaving as soon Mark gets here! I can't believe he actually told me to meet him here! It's an aberration!"
"Hey, Pat" he interrupted the guy's banter; as much as he liked Patrick, and he really did, he didn't need Pete seeing him exchanging pleasantries with the probably most flamboyant guy in town "I'm with some friends..."
"Aw, can I sit with you?" he asked, directing pleading eyes at him and bating his long eyelashes repeatedly "I'm alone and bored, and some of the people here are mean" he pouted "I know I'm a fucking faggot; I don't need them to tell me!"
"Who called you that?" he asked, and now that was something that got him pissed... people calling them names, and making fun of them. Especially guys like Pat, that bothered nobody. He was actually going to give in and invite Pat over to his table, rest be damned, when the door opened again and Mark walked in, giving him a quick peck before pulling Pat to his arms.
"Mark, I hate you! I can't believe you made me wait for you here! What the hell were you thinking about!" Pat started whining, and for once, he understood what his father meant when he said it was annoying, but then Mark was kissing Pat, and it was obvious everything was okay. For them, at least...
"So, where's Lex?" Mark asked when they finally pulled away, while Pat started retouching his very subtle make-up on a hand mirror
"I'm not here with Lex, I came with some friends... Lex wouldn't step in this place for the world" he chuckled, unable to actually picture Lex in that place "It's so five years ago" he decided
"Absolutely. I had no idea, I swear Patty... someone actually recommended this place to me" Mark sighed, then looked up at Clark and raised an eyebrow "Oh my god, Clark, you're not wearing any make up!"
--o--
Ten minutes, two coats of mascara and a lot of chatting up later a very angry Pete irrupted in the men's room and physically pulled him out. He was probably lucky he was irate, or else he would have probably realized the make up, or the very obvious gay couple that glared daggers at him on their way out.
"Stop been so childish Clark" Pete told him as they walked back towards the table, sounding definitely annoyed now "We bought some beers. If you don't like her, at least sit with her for a while, so Jenn and I can dance..."
The idea had the same appeal as a vacation in hell, but Pete was really upset and he really didn't want to ruin his night, so he sat next to an unreasonably cheerful Tiffany and let his friend and his girlfriend go for a dance.
"You look different" she said eventually, when it was obvious he was not going out of his way to make conversation "I can't really pinpoint what it is, though..."
He was about to snap and tell her that yes, he looked different because he had put on make up, but before he could say a word, his cell phone started ringing. He hadn't even know he had brought it, but apparently it had been in the pocket of his jacket all along; he didn't even need to check the call ID to know who was calling.
"Hey" he answered uncertainly, knowing the music in the background was a dead giveaway of his whereabouts
Clark, where are you? Lex's less than amused voice asked
"Um... 'Positive'?" he said tentatively, feeling impending doom in the air around him
Let me reformulate. What the hell are you doing there? Lex said calmly, although Clark knew him enough to recognize he was definitely pissed and trying hard to remain civil
"Pete insisted" he said as an apology, knowing he sounded lame but unable to come up with a better reply; his mom had been right, he should have told Lex, and he surely wasn't going to lie to him now "Actually I'm here with..."
I know, Clark Lex interrupted him Your mom told me. I'm actually hurt that you didn't feel you should mention this to me... he said, and he did sound hurt. Suddenly the fact that Tiffany was staring at him and drinking up his every word like a thirsty man would drink water seemed less than important
"I'm sorry baby, I didn't want you to worry and I really couldn't help it" he started explaining, and now Tiffany was seriously staring with wide eyes, but he couldn't give a damn; not if Lex was hurt and it was his fault Baby, I love you, didn't my mom tell you that too?"
Yeah, she mentioned it Lex sighed But she was just making excuses for you being a crappy boyfriend
"I'm sorry, I am a crappy boyfriend, but I'm in love with you, and you know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what we have, right?" he insisted, trying to reassure Lex as well as himself "I'm a fucking asshole, I should have never come..." he was saying, when suddenly Jenn's now very drunk voice interrupted him
"I didn't know you could curse, Clark" she laughed "How are Tiffany and you doing? She says you have a great ass..."
I'm coming over was all Lex's now ferocious voice said before the connection was broken, leaving him to a very drunk Jenn, a Tiffany that looked more motivated than desisting, and no Pete.
"Um, where's Pete?" he asked nervously, definitely not liking the predatory grin Tiffany was giving him
"He's buying a couple more beers" Jenn informed with the kind of seriousness only a very drunk person can command "Who was that on the phone?"
"His girlfriend, apparently" Tiffany said before he could even muster an answer, and it was just plain intimidating that she didn't seem thrown back by that in the least
"What are you talking about?" Jenn laughed "He doesn't have a girlfriend, he doesn't even date!"
"Well, apparently he's been fooling us all with the shy little kind routine..." Tiffany said in a deliberately seductive voice, leaning into him in a way that forced him to lean back to avoid contact
"I don't think this is a pretty good idea..." he was starting to say, absolutely sure she was decided to kiss him but not really knowing what to do other than slap her hard, which sounded really tempting at the time. However, it became obvious he wouldn't have to when the crowd parted, and a very angry-looking Lex stalked towards them. Even Jenn, in her happy drunkenness, stopped giggling and sat up straight.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, miss?" Lex asked, with that strained politeness that was always more aggressive than an open insult
"Excuse me?" she asked, half confused and half annoyed, turning in her seat to stare at Lex "Are you...?" she asked, obviously recognizing him from the media, but of course Lex paid her no mind. He was staring holes through Clark's skull, daring him to do something. At this point, he could either keep his mouth shut and probably lose Lex forever, or fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness, rest be damned. It was no choice, really.
"I'm sorry, Lex, I swear this took a whole different dimension than I expected" he started apologetically, walking around the table towards his boyfriend, who had this expression quite like he did when he was about to take over a small company "I didn't plan any of this..." he was assuring Lex, when suddenly Tiffany's annoyed voice rose above his;
"Excuse me, I was talking to Clark" she said, sounding offended.
Lex, however, didn't even acknowledge her. He just kept staring deep into his eyes, his face a hard mask of nothingness, not moving an inch of his body as he stood in front of him. Suddenly Clark had no more words either, and instead felt tears welling up in his eyes.
"You're not going to...?" leave me, he wanted to say, but couldn't even utter the words. It was really so stupid that Lex was going to leave him for this, that was nothing and meant nothing, and just because he was so stupid he hadn't said anything, had been afraid of saying something, and now Lex was angry and he just wanted to cry. He didn't even realize a tear was rolling down his cheek until Lex's soft fingers caught it, caressing his face in a way that was too tender for his hard eyes
"This has got to stop, Clark" Lex finally said, and for a moment he felt the panic take him over that this was it, that they were over, when suddenly Lex's eyes grew warm and hopeful, and he recognized in them the man he loved "You have to cross the line completely. For us..." Lex asked him, softly now, and he wasn't even thinking when he threw himself in his boyfriend's arms and kissed him silly, laughing both nervously and happily between kisses, right there and then
"I love you so much, Lex" he swore to his lover's lips, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes but not wanting to let go of him "I'm so sorry"
"It's okay, baby" Lex whispered to his ear, pulling him closer into him. And in that moment, in that place, it was okay. He didn't care that Tiffany was saying bitter things behind them, and Pete was probably thinking them too, and lots of people –amongst them Jenn- were clapping and catcalling, and he was certain he had seen a camera's flash go off. But it didn't matter, because he had Lex, and Lex always made it alright.
--o--
Epilogue.
"I'm sorry Pete, I just didn't know how to tell you... I was afraid of how you would react..." he said honestly
"God, you're such a wuss" Pete snorted, shaking his head "I should have known all along"
"Shut up! I'm not a wuss!" he whined
"Yeah, that's really making your point" Pete chuckled, and he was seriously starting to think he was gonna have to kill Pete "How the hell can you be Clark Kent, farm-bred manliness personified, and whine like that? It's disturbing..."
"Yeah, that's what Lex says too... I don't know, I guess I caught it from somewhere" definitely Pat "So, we're okay?"
"Yeah, we're okay" Pete smiled, slapping him in the back companionably "I still don't like Luthor, though. And, you know, don't go around smooching him too much near me..."
"Why, afraid you might find it hot?" the voice from behind them interrupted him "I know I do" Chloe smiled brightly, waving in front of their eyes a copy of last Sunday's edition of the Inquisitor "Guess who's a photogenic boy?"
"God, not you Chloe..." he sighed in defeat "Mom had a copy of that framed... she says we look so cute" how much work could it be to gather every copy of it and burn it down? Probably a matter of hours for him, maybe less... although they did look cute.
"Snap out of it, farm-boy" Chloe slapped him in the forehead "You owe us years of mockery rights for keeping this from us for so long..." she decided "Now come on, Sally Jackson has been acting weird lately... meteor-rock-weird. I need you two to help me investigate"
"What do you need me for?" Pete complained "Clark's the one who's always saving the day, take him. I don't feel very brave before my afternoon coffee anyway..."
"Oh, please. Just move it Pete..."