Author's Note: Sorry I killed Totholain. Necessary for the survival of the
story, you know, since it is a tragedy.
Chapter 11
The rain poured and poured with no sign of stopping. Lizule stood in the rain, her black hair drenched with water. Throwing her hood up over her head, she made her way to the stables.
All was quiet. She entered silently, as not to disturb the few horses that were resting. Almost all were standing still, their eyes glossed and unfocused.
"Hi everyone," she said meekly. "Are you okay?" The horses lowered their heads; all life seemed to have drained out of them.
"Gloried, how are you?" she said to the silver stallion. His coat had lost its shine, and was now very dull. He had not touched his food.
"Oh, sweetheart, you need to eat sometime," she said to the mourning horse as she patted his neck.
The stallion shifted his weight on to his other leg, completely ignoring the Elf. His eyes were in a faraway place, a sad, dreary place with no hope of recovery. He closed them and dropped his head.
"It will be better soon," she said soothingly, her voice cracking, as she understood what would happen to the horse. "I promise," she croaked.
She gave him one last comforting pat and left, her heart heavy. Totholain had been dead for two days, and life at Mirkwood had stopped abruptly. The chilly atmosphere was enough to drive anyone insane.
Laurelin would not leave her room; the only person she would permit seeing was Legolas. Lizule knew that he was extremely upset at his wife's condition. Just yesterday, she had heard him yelling at Saris for not bringing in hot water on time. Lizule was surprised at his actions; he rarely got upset. It had made her very sad.
"Just think, I was so happy three days ago because I got invited to leave for Rivendell. Now, I can not share my joyous news with anyone, for they would not want to listen to something happy. And neither do I," she thought, thinking of Glorfindel.
Glorfindel had halted the training until the Elves recuperated from the loss of Totholain. He was stressed out, however, because Imladris needed the troops as soon as possible.
Thranduil was going to appoint Legolas as the General of the Army, and when Laurelin heard of it, she would be stunned. Lizule's heart dropped at the realization. It would not be fair to her.
She sighed and scanned the palace grounds. As she passed some houses, she saw that there were brightly-lit candles in the windows, signifying a grieving period.
Lizule felt her eyes water. She hadn't been very familiar with Totholain; but he had always been nice to her. She could tell that he had meant a lot to Laurelin, almost more than Legolas himself.
She shuddered slightly as a cold wind came through the palace courtyard. She decided that she should probably go back home and wait. That was the only thing she could do for Laurelin, anyway.
****
"We must hold a burial," the Healer, Finarain, said. "It is the best way to commemorate Totholain. Don't you agree?"
Thranduil shrugged his shoulders. "Have one so soon? My daughter-in-law is still trying to comprehend Totholain has died and is never coming back. She does not handle grief very well, and a burial will just remind her of Totholain's death. Remember, her father left for Valinor too. I doubt she can take much more."
"Then, my Lord, when do you propose we bury him? I can not preserve the body for a long time, you know."
"I don't know, you're intelligent, you can think of something. Give me two weeks, okay?"
Finarain groaned. "Fine. But in two weeks, I want a plan for the body." He bowed and exited.
Thranduil dropped his head to his lap. Everything was going wrong. Laurelin was literally, sick, and Legolas was in a fit of rage. He felt that his whole world was crumbling down on top of him.
"Totholain, why did you do it? Why? Why did you kill yourself? I know you did, you are the only one who can aim a sword so accurately to the heart. What happened?"
~ She hurt Laurelin through me so that I could not and will not ever be able to tell her again. If I do try, I will die ~
Those words haunted Thranduil.
~ What did he mean by that? What drove him to kill himself? I know he was not like other Elf-lords, he held an extraordinary power in him. He was different.
Like an Elf, but so unlike an Elf. More godly. Smarter. Older. Wait! How could he be older than any Elf? HE COULDN"T! So that must make him . an uh . um . Maiar? ~
"That's it!" Thranduil shouted out loud. "He was a Maiar! Oh, how blind I was! How could I not see? He was a power, a spirit. That is why he did not die the first time coming in contact with Elbereth! So utterly foolish, Thranduil! He was right under you the entire time!"
Thranduil stood up, his legs shaking from excitement.
"I cannot believe this! I wonder if I should tell anyone?"
Although his mind said yes, his heart said no. Thranduil pondered it for a while, and chose not to. He knew that telling some of the Elves might make matters worse. Totholain would not want anyone to know that he had been a spirit and not an Elf.
Thranduil sat back down, trying to figure why Elbereth had stopped Totholain from saying something to Laurelin. He knew that it had something to do with Legolas's fate; that it was bad, and would not turn out all right in the end. But how horrendous could it get?
~ Let me see. He could get seriously wounded or die. That is about it ~
Thranduil gasped. Totholain's message was reading more clearly. Something horrible was going to happen to Legolas, and Laurelin would follow him. But what?
Thranduil chose to wait it out. What else could he do? He was not a philosopher, nor did he have the gift of foresight. Thinking back to his conversation with Totholain, he could not go to Elrond, nor could he have Legolas and Laurelin leave Middle-earth; their time to depart had not yet been accounted for.
"Just sit and wait, Thranduil. Just sit and wait," he said to himself.
****
* ~ ~ "Totholain, wait up!" Laurelin cried. " I am right behind you!" Laurelin ran faster, but she could not catch the general as he sped through the forest.
"Totholain, please, wait!" she commanded. He paid no heed to her request and kept on going, slowly but surely drawing away from her.
"Totho." she shrieked as she fell into a deep, dark hole. A sense of panic engulfed her as she tried in vain to climb out.
"Totholain, help me!" she shouted, her voice tiny and weak.
"Totholain!" ~ ~ *
Laurelin blinked, clearing her eyes. Her own room came into focus, blurry and unshaped. She made out the body an Elf sitting next to her bed, watching her.
~ Why am I here? Why am I not in Legolas's chambers, as usual? ~
"My Lady," a glowing form of life sat down on her bed and patted her hand.
"You have awaken from your shock."
Laurelin stared at the handsome face; his forehead was lined with worry. The concern in his eyes gave her the strength to say,
"My Angel. You're my Angel."
The Elf laughed sadly.
"No, I am not. Sorry. I am just Legolas, Prince of the Elves. Non more."
"Legolas," she whispered. " I know your face. It gets more beautiful by the day."
Legolas nodded, his throat closing up.
"And yours, why, yours grows more lovely by the hour."
Laurelin smiled weakly. "My Lord? He is gone, isn't he? Forever?" she said, her tears starting to flow once again.
Legolas swallowed hard. "Yes, my love, forever."
Laurelin bit her lip, absconding herself for crying in front of such a strong, valiant Elf. It was embarrassing.
Legolas leaned forward and gently, oh so gently, kissed every part of her face so that her tears were washed away.
Laurelin wrapped her hands around his neck, taking in his scent of evergreen trees. She clung to him, praying, hoping, that some comfort would make its way into her life.
"I miss him so much," she sobbed, as Legolas ran his fingers through her golden hair, consoling her.
"He was my salvation, my hope, my father. Now he is gone. And no matter what I do or say, he isn't coming home."
Legolas hugged her fiercely; trying to let her know that he would be there for her, always. But he found it difficult to say, when he knew that he was leaving for Rivendell in Totholain's place.
"Legolas, promise me you will never leave me. It is something that Totholain wanted, and it is something I want more than the world. Please, never leave me. Promise?"
Legolas heaved a sigh. He had a duty to his kingdom as future King, and he had to fulfill that duty. But what about his promise to Laurelin? He had a duty to her, too, and he could not just abandon that. In his life, though, he was required to serve his realm before his love.
Legolas drew away from their embrace and looked her in the eyes.
Laurelin read the answer from his pensive stare.
"NO!" she wailed, pounding him on the chest. "You can't go! How can Thranduil make you? I have lost one that I loved, I will not lose another!"
"Shhhh, you will not lose me. I am a skilled fighter. I survived the War of the Ring, I believe I can survive this."
"You don't understand! Totholain gave you so many warnings! He told you never to leave Mirkwood, he set it up so that you were not a general in the first place, and then, when he died, he said to me to never let you go! It all adds up! Something terrible is going to happen to you if you go to Rivendell! Don't you see?"
Legolas shook his head.
" I am sorry, I do not. Totholain might have been wise, but I do not believe what he said. Now why don't you get some rest? I know it is hard, but at least attempt to. I am not going anywhere soon, so you need not be so distressed, okay?"
Laurelin snuggled back down in the bed, her face pale. She turned away from him and faced her pillow, trying to hide her disappointment. Legolas bent down towards her pointed ear and murmured,
" Trust me. I will never leave you unless I am called by Mandos. And I do not think that is going to happen."
Legolas rubbed the nape of her neck and stood up. He was at the door when Laurelin asked,
"Why am I in my room?"
Legolas chuckled. "Because you locked yourself in here."
****
Arodas snorted, pawing the ground. Unable to restrain his bottled energy, the dapple-grey stallion reared up and charged across the open plain. Legolas rode low, aiming for his target, a far-off tree, with one single acorn hanging from it. Stringing his bow, he waited for the precise moment to hit his mark.
Arodas ran faster, his strides eating up the ground. Legolas watched carefully and released his arrow, letting it fly like the wind.
It knocked the acorn right out of the tree. Legolas smiled faintly at his tiny success and stopped Arodas. The horse shook his head; he wanted to run some more.
"That's a good boy," Legolas said. "You are just like your grandfather. Full of spirit and poise. You will serve me well in battle."
Arodas was the grandson of Arod, a Rohan horse that Legolas had ridden during the War of the Ring. Eomer gave Arod to Legolas after the destruction of Sauron. Legolas remembered how grateful he had been to receive such a wonderful gift. Legolas relaxed on the horse's back, lost in his reveries.
The stallion, sensing Legolas's rest, jumped forward, but Legolas was ready and held him back with only a few words. Arodas responded reluctantly to the Elf's request and slowed down to a halt.
"I know you want to race, but I can't let you. You must be refreshed and ready for when we have to depart to Rivendell, if that is anytime soon, which I doubt."
Arodas tossed his shiny black mane; he was not willing to leave the only home he knew.
"I know it is difficult. But just think of all the exciting things we will be seeing! Forests, glorious forests, then there are the rivers and lakes, lots and lots of wild animals just waiting to be discovered, and Lord Elrond! It is a privilege to meet such a mighty Elf-lord. You should be thankful!"
Secretly though, deep inside, Legolas did not want to leave. Totholain's death had hit Laurelin hard; she was even more depressed now knowing Legolas was going to be gone for a long time from Mirkwood.
Arodas nickered sadly. He would go if Legolas was; but it made him terribly unhappy. The smart stallion knew that Legolas did not want to go either.
Legolas patted his neck.
"Thank you. I knew I could count on you. Right now, I think you are the only one who truly understands. But you see, I have a duty to my kingdom and to Middle-earth. I must go and fight, even though it makes me miserable."
Arodas nuzzled Legolas's leg, showing that he comprehended what Legolas was saying. He started to walk, his hoof beats making little sound on the soft grass.
"Whither are you taking us?" Legolas inquired. "We are not done with our training."
The horse kept on walking. He raised his glorious head and whinnied.
~ I am taking you home ~
****
Laurelin looked out her window. The sun was coming up, its thin rays casting hardly any light across the forest. The sky was low and foggy; the earth was brown and dead. The roses that grew beneath her balcony were lithe and possessed a pale, dull color. The birds sung sad songs, songs of days they had known better:
How beautiful the day and night; The earth is singing in the wind, The voices rise and touch the sky Telling all the earth's believing, And in the night sighs fall down, And from the skies sighs fall down on me.
And when I move away from view My voice is singing in the wind, It rises up to touch the sky Telling all that I believe in, And from the night earth shall sing, And from the night earth shall sing, And from the night earth shall sing again. Enya - deora ar mo chroi
Laurelin sighed wistfully at the tone, even though she did not understand their songs. A gentle breeze ruffled her hair, billowing it out around her face. She brushed it aside, paying it no heed.
"Totholain," she whispered, her words stopping at her throat.
"Totholain, what happened? Who harmed you? I miss you so much. All I wish for is that I could hear your soothing voice again, just once more. That would be enough."
The calm breeze was more persistent this time as it came through and was absorbed by her skin; Laurelin's teeth started to chatter because of the chill.
She drew her shawl around her and stared out into the dark light of the sun. She hung her head in sorrow, feeling death's blow sink into her very soul. Death was victorious. All she could do was to let it win and get on with her life.
Legolas entered Laurelin's room without making a sound. He came up gingerly behind her and enclosed his arms around her waist. Laurelin leaned back into his safe encompass, closing her eyes and releasing all bad thoughts. Legolas rested his chin on her shoulder as they both stared out into the gloom.
"It is time to move on," she said quietly as she watched an eagle soar high in the grey sky. It stopped and hovered over the forest, and then it was gone.
~ Totholain ~
"Are you sure?" Legolas asked, frowning. "You are allowed to grieve."
"Totholain wouldn't want me mourning about his death. He always said to live in the future, for you can't go back in the past. He would wish that I kept going, supporting you and the kingdom, for I am the Princess, much as it takes getting used to that title. I will proceed with my endless life, and so will you."
~ Endless? How can you be so sure? ~
"I do agree. Leave this anguish behind and make a new beginning. I like it."
Laurelin smiled.
"I knew you would. Now come on. I want to inquire Thranduil about holding a remembrance ceremony for Totholain, along with his burial. We must make haste, though. Come!"
****
Chapter 11
The rain poured and poured with no sign of stopping. Lizule stood in the rain, her black hair drenched with water. Throwing her hood up over her head, she made her way to the stables.
All was quiet. She entered silently, as not to disturb the few horses that were resting. Almost all were standing still, their eyes glossed and unfocused.
"Hi everyone," she said meekly. "Are you okay?" The horses lowered their heads; all life seemed to have drained out of them.
"Gloried, how are you?" she said to the silver stallion. His coat had lost its shine, and was now very dull. He had not touched his food.
"Oh, sweetheart, you need to eat sometime," she said to the mourning horse as she patted his neck.
The stallion shifted his weight on to his other leg, completely ignoring the Elf. His eyes were in a faraway place, a sad, dreary place with no hope of recovery. He closed them and dropped his head.
"It will be better soon," she said soothingly, her voice cracking, as she understood what would happen to the horse. "I promise," she croaked.
She gave him one last comforting pat and left, her heart heavy. Totholain had been dead for two days, and life at Mirkwood had stopped abruptly. The chilly atmosphere was enough to drive anyone insane.
Laurelin would not leave her room; the only person she would permit seeing was Legolas. Lizule knew that he was extremely upset at his wife's condition. Just yesterday, she had heard him yelling at Saris for not bringing in hot water on time. Lizule was surprised at his actions; he rarely got upset. It had made her very sad.
"Just think, I was so happy three days ago because I got invited to leave for Rivendell. Now, I can not share my joyous news with anyone, for they would not want to listen to something happy. And neither do I," she thought, thinking of Glorfindel.
Glorfindel had halted the training until the Elves recuperated from the loss of Totholain. He was stressed out, however, because Imladris needed the troops as soon as possible.
Thranduil was going to appoint Legolas as the General of the Army, and when Laurelin heard of it, she would be stunned. Lizule's heart dropped at the realization. It would not be fair to her.
She sighed and scanned the palace grounds. As she passed some houses, she saw that there were brightly-lit candles in the windows, signifying a grieving period.
Lizule felt her eyes water. She hadn't been very familiar with Totholain; but he had always been nice to her. She could tell that he had meant a lot to Laurelin, almost more than Legolas himself.
She shuddered slightly as a cold wind came through the palace courtyard. She decided that she should probably go back home and wait. That was the only thing she could do for Laurelin, anyway.
****
"We must hold a burial," the Healer, Finarain, said. "It is the best way to commemorate Totholain. Don't you agree?"
Thranduil shrugged his shoulders. "Have one so soon? My daughter-in-law is still trying to comprehend Totholain has died and is never coming back. She does not handle grief very well, and a burial will just remind her of Totholain's death. Remember, her father left for Valinor too. I doubt she can take much more."
"Then, my Lord, when do you propose we bury him? I can not preserve the body for a long time, you know."
"I don't know, you're intelligent, you can think of something. Give me two weeks, okay?"
Finarain groaned. "Fine. But in two weeks, I want a plan for the body." He bowed and exited.
Thranduil dropped his head to his lap. Everything was going wrong. Laurelin was literally, sick, and Legolas was in a fit of rage. He felt that his whole world was crumbling down on top of him.
"Totholain, why did you do it? Why? Why did you kill yourself? I know you did, you are the only one who can aim a sword so accurately to the heart. What happened?"
~ She hurt Laurelin through me so that I could not and will not ever be able to tell her again. If I do try, I will die ~
Those words haunted Thranduil.
~ What did he mean by that? What drove him to kill himself? I know he was not like other Elf-lords, he held an extraordinary power in him. He was different.
Like an Elf, but so unlike an Elf. More godly. Smarter. Older. Wait! How could he be older than any Elf? HE COULDN"T! So that must make him . an uh . um . Maiar? ~
"That's it!" Thranduil shouted out loud. "He was a Maiar! Oh, how blind I was! How could I not see? He was a power, a spirit. That is why he did not die the first time coming in contact with Elbereth! So utterly foolish, Thranduil! He was right under you the entire time!"
Thranduil stood up, his legs shaking from excitement.
"I cannot believe this! I wonder if I should tell anyone?"
Although his mind said yes, his heart said no. Thranduil pondered it for a while, and chose not to. He knew that telling some of the Elves might make matters worse. Totholain would not want anyone to know that he had been a spirit and not an Elf.
Thranduil sat back down, trying to figure why Elbereth had stopped Totholain from saying something to Laurelin. He knew that it had something to do with Legolas's fate; that it was bad, and would not turn out all right in the end. But how horrendous could it get?
~ Let me see. He could get seriously wounded or die. That is about it ~
Thranduil gasped. Totholain's message was reading more clearly. Something horrible was going to happen to Legolas, and Laurelin would follow him. But what?
Thranduil chose to wait it out. What else could he do? He was not a philosopher, nor did he have the gift of foresight. Thinking back to his conversation with Totholain, he could not go to Elrond, nor could he have Legolas and Laurelin leave Middle-earth; their time to depart had not yet been accounted for.
"Just sit and wait, Thranduil. Just sit and wait," he said to himself.
****
* ~ ~ "Totholain, wait up!" Laurelin cried. " I am right behind you!" Laurelin ran faster, but she could not catch the general as he sped through the forest.
"Totholain, please, wait!" she commanded. He paid no heed to her request and kept on going, slowly but surely drawing away from her.
"Totho." she shrieked as she fell into a deep, dark hole. A sense of panic engulfed her as she tried in vain to climb out.
"Totholain, help me!" she shouted, her voice tiny and weak.
"Totholain!" ~ ~ *
Laurelin blinked, clearing her eyes. Her own room came into focus, blurry and unshaped. She made out the body an Elf sitting next to her bed, watching her.
~ Why am I here? Why am I not in Legolas's chambers, as usual? ~
"My Lady," a glowing form of life sat down on her bed and patted her hand.
"You have awaken from your shock."
Laurelin stared at the handsome face; his forehead was lined with worry. The concern in his eyes gave her the strength to say,
"My Angel. You're my Angel."
The Elf laughed sadly.
"No, I am not. Sorry. I am just Legolas, Prince of the Elves. Non more."
"Legolas," she whispered. " I know your face. It gets more beautiful by the day."
Legolas nodded, his throat closing up.
"And yours, why, yours grows more lovely by the hour."
Laurelin smiled weakly. "My Lord? He is gone, isn't he? Forever?" she said, her tears starting to flow once again.
Legolas swallowed hard. "Yes, my love, forever."
Laurelin bit her lip, absconding herself for crying in front of such a strong, valiant Elf. It was embarrassing.
Legolas leaned forward and gently, oh so gently, kissed every part of her face so that her tears were washed away.
Laurelin wrapped her hands around his neck, taking in his scent of evergreen trees. She clung to him, praying, hoping, that some comfort would make its way into her life.
"I miss him so much," she sobbed, as Legolas ran his fingers through her golden hair, consoling her.
"He was my salvation, my hope, my father. Now he is gone. And no matter what I do or say, he isn't coming home."
Legolas hugged her fiercely; trying to let her know that he would be there for her, always. But he found it difficult to say, when he knew that he was leaving for Rivendell in Totholain's place.
"Legolas, promise me you will never leave me. It is something that Totholain wanted, and it is something I want more than the world. Please, never leave me. Promise?"
Legolas heaved a sigh. He had a duty to his kingdom as future King, and he had to fulfill that duty. But what about his promise to Laurelin? He had a duty to her, too, and he could not just abandon that. In his life, though, he was required to serve his realm before his love.
Legolas drew away from their embrace and looked her in the eyes.
Laurelin read the answer from his pensive stare.
"NO!" she wailed, pounding him on the chest. "You can't go! How can Thranduil make you? I have lost one that I loved, I will not lose another!"
"Shhhh, you will not lose me. I am a skilled fighter. I survived the War of the Ring, I believe I can survive this."
"You don't understand! Totholain gave you so many warnings! He told you never to leave Mirkwood, he set it up so that you were not a general in the first place, and then, when he died, he said to me to never let you go! It all adds up! Something terrible is going to happen to you if you go to Rivendell! Don't you see?"
Legolas shook his head.
" I am sorry, I do not. Totholain might have been wise, but I do not believe what he said. Now why don't you get some rest? I know it is hard, but at least attempt to. I am not going anywhere soon, so you need not be so distressed, okay?"
Laurelin snuggled back down in the bed, her face pale. She turned away from him and faced her pillow, trying to hide her disappointment. Legolas bent down towards her pointed ear and murmured,
" Trust me. I will never leave you unless I am called by Mandos. And I do not think that is going to happen."
Legolas rubbed the nape of her neck and stood up. He was at the door when Laurelin asked,
"Why am I in my room?"
Legolas chuckled. "Because you locked yourself in here."
****
Arodas snorted, pawing the ground. Unable to restrain his bottled energy, the dapple-grey stallion reared up and charged across the open plain. Legolas rode low, aiming for his target, a far-off tree, with one single acorn hanging from it. Stringing his bow, he waited for the precise moment to hit his mark.
Arodas ran faster, his strides eating up the ground. Legolas watched carefully and released his arrow, letting it fly like the wind.
It knocked the acorn right out of the tree. Legolas smiled faintly at his tiny success and stopped Arodas. The horse shook his head; he wanted to run some more.
"That's a good boy," Legolas said. "You are just like your grandfather. Full of spirit and poise. You will serve me well in battle."
Arodas was the grandson of Arod, a Rohan horse that Legolas had ridden during the War of the Ring. Eomer gave Arod to Legolas after the destruction of Sauron. Legolas remembered how grateful he had been to receive such a wonderful gift. Legolas relaxed on the horse's back, lost in his reveries.
The stallion, sensing Legolas's rest, jumped forward, but Legolas was ready and held him back with only a few words. Arodas responded reluctantly to the Elf's request and slowed down to a halt.
"I know you want to race, but I can't let you. You must be refreshed and ready for when we have to depart to Rivendell, if that is anytime soon, which I doubt."
Arodas tossed his shiny black mane; he was not willing to leave the only home he knew.
"I know it is difficult. But just think of all the exciting things we will be seeing! Forests, glorious forests, then there are the rivers and lakes, lots and lots of wild animals just waiting to be discovered, and Lord Elrond! It is a privilege to meet such a mighty Elf-lord. You should be thankful!"
Secretly though, deep inside, Legolas did not want to leave. Totholain's death had hit Laurelin hard; she was even more depressed now knowing Legolas was going to be gone for a long time from Mirkwood.
Arodas nickered sadly. He would go if Legolas was; but it made him terribly unhappy. The smart stallion knew that Legolas did not want to go either.
Legolas patted his neck.
"Thank you. I knew I could count on you. Right now, I think you are the only one who truly understands. But you see, I have a duty to my kingdom and to Middle-earth. I must go and fight, even though it makes me miserable."
Arodas nuzzled Legolas's leg, showing that he comprehended what Legolas was saying. He started to walk, his hoof beats making little sound on the soft grass.
"Whither are you taking us?" Legolas inquired. "We are not done with our training."
The horse kept on walking. He raised his glorious head and whinnied.
~ I am taking you home ~
****
Laurelin looked out her window. The sun was coming up, its thin rays casting hardly any light across the forest. The sky was low and foggy; the earth was brown and dead. The roses that grew beneath her balcony were lithe and possessed a pale, dull color. The birds sung sad songs, songs of days they had known better:
How beautiful the day and night; The earth is singing in the wind, The voices rise and touch the sky Telling all the earth's believing, And in the night sighs fall down, And from the skies sighs fall down on me.
And when I move away from view My voice is singing in the wind, It rises up to touch the sky Telling all that I believe in, And from the night earth shall sing, And from the night earth shall sing, And from the night earth shall sing again. Enya - deora ar mo chroi
Laurelin sighed wistfully at the tone, even though she did not understand their songs. A gentle breeze ruffled her hair, billowing it out around her face. She brushed it aside, paying it no heed.
"Totholain," she whispered, her words stopping at her throat.
"Totholain, what happened? Who harmed you? I miss you so much. All I wish for is that I could hear your soothing voice again, just once more. That would be enough."
The calm breeze was more persistent this time as it came through and was absorbed by her skin; Laurelin's teeth started to chatter because of the chill.
She drew her shawl around her and stared out into the dark light of the sun. She hung her head in sorrow, feeling death's blow sink into her very soul. Death was victorious. All she could do was to let it win and get on with her life.
Legolas entered Laurelin's room without making a sound. He came up gingerly behind her and enclosed his arms around her waist. Laurelin leaned back into his safe encompass, closing her eyes and releasing all bad thoughts. Legolas rested his chin on her shoulder as they both stared out into the gloom.
"It is time to move on," she said quietly as she watched an eagle soar high in the grey sky. It stopped and hovered over the forest, and then it was gone.
~ Totholain ~
"Are you sure?" Legolas asked, frowning. "You are allowed to grieve."
"Totholain wouldn't want me mourning about his death. He always said to live in the future, for you can't go back in the past. He would wish that I kept going, supporting you and the kingdom, for I am the Princess, much as it takes getting used to that title. I will proceed with my endless life, and so will you."
~ Endless? How can you be so sure? ~
"I do agree. Leave this anguish behind and make a new beginning. I like it."
Laurelin smiled.
"I knew you would. Now come on. I want to inquire Thranduil about holding a remembrance ceremony for Totholain, along with his burial. We must make haste, though. Come!"
****