A/N: Occasus: You must be psychic! You're prediction is a very good one...

Chrios: I don't hate Anya! She's very cool. I'm not sure whether or not to use your suggestion... I kind of like the idea of it being a mystery about why Anya hates bunnies. But thanks for the suggestion!

Back to the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Harry Potter

Chapter Seven

"So what you're trying to say is that we have to get Buffy to feel extreme ecstasy, or something, and then this dude will leave her body alone?" I asked, trying to make sure I was hearing this correctly.

"Yup," Xander replied.

I had an idea of what would make Buffy happy, but I wasn't sure how easy it would be to do it. For one thing, Buffy was such a psycho right now that there was no way I could get her into bed with me. And there was no way I was going to let everyone else know about Buffy and my secret relationship. They just couldn't know! They couldn't.

But yet somehow I knew that this might just have to be the way...

"Wait, Ôextreme ecstasy', Spike?" Xander said. "Aha! Lets just give her some drugs- that'll cheer her up!

"Uh, sorry Xander, but I don't think that would work," Giles replied seriously.

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"So, what do you think is up with this Buffy character?" Pansy Parkinson asked as we flopped down on couches and chairs in the Slytherin common room?

"Okay, one: I don't know," I replied, annoyed. "Two: I don't care. All I care about is that her sister is hot.

"That's all you ever think about, Draco," Pansy retorted. "Whether or not people are hot.

I gave her the middle finger.

"Jeez... I'm sorry, I take it back," Pansy responded. "I saw you talking with her sister a lot, though. What did you manage to get out of her?

"Well, her sister is like a vampire slayer," I replied, bored. I examined my fingernails.

"A vampire slayer?" Pansy said. "What the fuck is that?

"I guess she slays vampires, smart one," I said.

"Fine... I just have never heard of one, that's all," said Pansy.

"Well you have now," I told her.

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"Did Dumbledore make you all leave the Dining Hall because of Buffy?" I asked my fellow Gryffindors as they entered the common room through the portrait hole.

"Yeah," Dean replied. "But they won't tell us what is going to make her better. I mean, what if we could help?

"Really," Seamus agreed. "Dumbasses...

The two walked off and I turned to Ron and Harry. "What do you think is wrong with her?" I asked them. "I really don't think- as stupid as they may be- that Dumbledore or any of the other teachers would let someone this crazy come to the school.

"Probably not," Ron agreed.

"Maybe she's possessed!" Harry said excitedly.

"Harry, somehow I doubt that," I answered reasonably. Sometimes Harry just let his imagination carry him too far away from reality.

"No, Hermione," said Ron. "I think he might have a point. I mean, weird things like that always happen in our lives, and someone could have tried to perform some sort of spell so that they could do something. I don't know what but...

"Malfoy," I said quietly.

"Pardon?" Harry said.

"Malfoy," I repeated more loudly. "It was Malfoy. I know it. He tried to put some sort of spell on Buffy, but it didn't work. Instead, it backfired and made her go crazy. Or maybe it was supposed to do that... But I don't know why he would want her to go mad like that. It's just that what happened didn't faze him at all. It was like he didn't even notice how severe it all was.

"Yes, that has to be it!" Ron cried. "He probably did it to try and get with Buffy's sister!

"But no one knew that everyone was coming beforehand so how did he make the potion or perform the spell?" Harry inquired.

"Oh, I'm sure Snape probably told them beforehand or something," Ron replied. "It doesn't matter. Hermione, you're a genius!

I smiled, pleased with myself.

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"Minerva, would you please get Madam Pomfrey to come help Dawn?" the creepy old guy asked a creepy old woman.

She nodded and left the table and the Dining Hall.

"So you've found a way to get rid of this demon?" the old man said. "Well what is it?

"The person to whom this is happening must feel a lot of whatever the opposite of the emotion they are feeling right now is," Giles explained. "So in this case, Buffy must feel extremely happy for this to go away.

"But how?" I asked.

Spike had been leaning on the table with his arms crossed and one leg crossed over the other. When I said this he switched his legs in an irritated manner.

I was about to ask him why when Xander voiced his suggestion.

"Donuts," said he. "She's always liked donuts.

"Or maybe we could kill all the bunnies!" Anya said excitedly.

I rolled my eyes. We were going nowhere.

"Oh, this is bloody ridiculous," Spike suddenly said, annoyed. He got up, grabbed Buffy by the arm, and dragged her out of the room as best he could. To everyone's surprise, she didn't protest.

"Wait, where are you going, Spike?" I called after him.

"Just trust me on this one," he answered, walking quickly out of the room with Buffy at his side.

"Oh, God," I said, very worried. "This can only end in badness.

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Okay, so I really didn't want to do this at first, but I had to. I had no choice. The dumb people were just sitting there suggesting things like killing bunnies and eating donuts. How bloody thick do you get? If it was another person, I still would have suggested a good lay to get the person happy again. I mean, what else would come to your mind?

I had no idea where I was going- at least my mind didn't- but somehow my feet seemed to know and were taking me somewhere in the basement of the school. It was very dark and stony- it kind of reminded me of a dungeon, in fact. Another thing that crept me out was that scary and bad things always happened in the basement of the Sunnydale High School. Then I remembered that I was a vampire and I could easily fight back any of the stupid children that tried to attack me.

I reached a rather ugly portrait of an old and greasy looking man and stopped walking. Somehow, I knew there was something on the other side of that painting that would bring me where I needed to go. Then I noticed something else: the man in the portrait was moving. [A/N: I have no idea how to get into the Slytherin common room. I think it is in book 2 when they perform the polyjuice potion, but I forget what they do, so if someone could remind me via email or a review I'd love you forever ]

"Uh... excuse me, sir, but how do I get inside?" I asked the painting, feeling rather dumb that I was talking to it. How could it hear me?

"You need to tell me the password," the painting replied as though we were two normal people speaking to each other normally.

"I don't have the bloody password so could you please just let me in?" I pleaded.

"Sorry, chap, I need a password," it said.

"Look, this woman is about to explode if I don't get her inside," I explained. Buffy growled. "I really, really need to know this stupid password or else she might rip you up or something. I don't even know how I got here- my feet just kind of walked this way. So, could you please just let me off this one time? I won't tell, I promise.

Just then a student walked up to the portrait and gave me an odd look. Then he saw Buffy and his eyes widened. He turned back to the portrait and said, "Lederhosen." The portrait swung open and was low enough to the ground that we could walk right through.

Inside there were students of all ages sitting in a long and very green room on fancy leather couches and chairs. It all looked very expensive. I saw the sleazy blond boy who had been molesting Dawn before and suddenly an idea came to my mind.

"Excuse me," I said, walking up to him and dragging a still mute Buffy behind me. I wondered if maybe the demon guy had left her body already. Maybe it was because she had blown some steam off when she punched Dawn.

"What?" the boy asked, his pointed nose twitching. He was just so bloody unattractive it wasn't even funny.

"I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted before," I said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. "I honestly don't know what came over me. I guess I was just a little bit angry from things that had happened before and I needed to blow off some steam. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

"Anything else?" the boy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, now that you mention it," I responded. "I was wondering if there was a private room you know of... Um, a very private room," I added with a wink.

A small smile crept across the boy's face. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing but he definitely was smiling.

"Follow me," he replied, getting up and walking towards a staircase. I followed hoping this wouldn't end in tragedy.

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A/N: UrgghhÉ I really am rushing things but I really want to get this story over with so I can write more! I don't even really like this story... There isn't enough going on between the Hogwarts students and the Buffy characters. I will probably add a chapter after everything is resolved about all that stuff even though this story just sucks. Hopefully my next one(s) will be better