Special thanks to "Big Cliffy Meanie", "Spinelli Woods, Esquire", and "goofy monkey child"! It makes me beyond happy that you guys are reading and enjoying this fic.
Chapter Nineteen: The Walls Are Closing In...
Location: On the Third Street Playground, the next day on Friday during Recess
Yesterday, Vince finally struggled to arrive home where his parents were shocked to see him so beaten up. When his parents asked him about it, he remembered the eyes of the merciless boy that hurt him and lied about how he received his injuries. The next day, Vince was feeling better but the soreness from his stomach and the abrasions on his knee reminded him that he had to inform the rest of the gang about the boy's threat. The rest of the gang found that difficult to believe that someone so violent could just show up out of nowhere and decided to speak with Stacey during recess about who this guy was and what she knew about him.
By now, the recess gang was all sitting and huddled inside the cheesebox trying to hide and keep warm from the elements outside. Stacey walked out of the playground doors and began heading toward the cheesebox during the cloudy, cold day. The gang was still debating over what to do and how real was this guy's threat.
Vince argued with the gang, "Guys! Look at my knee! Some guy from the ghettos said that if we don't leave Stacey alone...we're going to be expecting a lot more!"
Spinelli dismissively, brushed off, "What a bunch of hooey! So he used a chain and punched ya! YOU SHOULD OF FOUGHT BACK! I mean with my wrestling that's nothin'!"
Gus was trembling, looking around through the holes of the box to see if the guy was spying in on them. He whined, "Stop it guys! We should go back inside! Who knows what terrible things this guy can do to us!"
T.J. defiantly spoke out, "Guys! We can't just abandon Stacey like that! Mikey told us how horrible she's feeling and we have to do something for her!"
Spinelli complained, "Teej, when are you getting over it!?! If she wanted to be friends with us, she wouldn't be avoiding us and staying far away." T.J. was thrown off a bit hearing that comment from Spinelli. Spinelli quickly realized the implications of what she said and shut herself up. Spinelli and T.J. both looked at each other remembering that Monday night, and how close they were....they both began to think if they behaved inappropriately that night. They thought if the other, or even themselves were ready to be so close...emotionally. They quickly looked away to avoid that awkward moment.
Mikey cried out, "Alas! Such a difficult predicament that we find ourselves in!"
Vince silently talked with Gretchen and he hesitantly said, "Uh, guys....about the other threat the guy made, about Devil's Ni----Hi Stacey!" Stacey suddenly appeared and Vince changed his tone and the subject immediately.
Stacey's eyes looked at the six with nervousness since all of their eyes were upon her. She slowly questioned, "Uh... is there something wrong?"
The gang all looked at each other wondering what to say but Vince started out, "Stacey...do you know an African American boy around our age who a....watches over you? Or knows you really well?"
Stacey was beginning to realize how this boy might be but she remained quiet. Vince continued on discuss about the boy's features, clothes, and his threat and Stacey looked down on the ground when Vince was done talking. Stacey's eyes met up to the eyes of the gang and she sadly confessed, "Yeah....I do know him." Stacey knew that after hiding, and running, her past had caught up with her and was beginning to create havoc all over again. She didn't know the gang that well and feared either they would start disliking her because of that threat or somehow miraculously, she thought if they were good friends, she wouldn't want to put them in danger. Stacey looked at it as if Jamal locked her in her own abandon prison cell by ensuring there were no way for her to get help and keep her remained in her own solitude.
Stacey was choked up with her thoughts and emotions of Jamal entering into 'the equation', but still kept her feelings hidden. She carefully said, "I'm sorry...I had no idea that he would do that. Sorry Vince. I'll...leave you guys alone from now on." It was extremely difficult saying the last sentence because deep in her heart she hoped that somehow the gang was as friendly as they 'appeared' to be to her, and as tiny as that hope seemed...that sliver of hope was crushed by Jamal. Stacey began slowly walking away in hopelessness.
The gang looked each other sensing only a small piece of Stacey's deep, hidden disappointment and of being deserted. T.J. got up and ran to catch Stacey. T.J. blocked Stacey's path and he tried to comfort her, "Stacey....it's okay, we can handle whoever that guy is."
Stacey looked up to T.J., sighed and said, "T.J....I have to leave you guys alone..." Stacey knew how dangerous Jamal was and she knew that the gang, as well as the rest of Third Street, was completely ignorant about him and how extreme things were taken back at her old neighborhood.
The rest of the gang joined T.J. and stood beside him. Spinelli supported, "Stacey! I'll be able to smash the tar out of that guy next time he comes!" Spinelli was cracking her knuckles as if she preparing for a fight.
Stacey looked at them with heavy eyes and softly said, "Really...I have to listen to him because he takes things seriously....just look at Vince." Despite Vince's injuries, he was willing to help out Stacey but was more cautious because of his encounter with Jamal.
Spinelli spoke a bit louder and questioned, "Hey, who said you had to listen to this guy anyways?!? You have to stand up for yourself! You can't just let some jerk push ya around!"
Stacey was having flashbacks over her horrible past and she calmly answered, "Spinelli...this thing is different. He's not some average kid...."
Spinelli was becoming more frustrated with her, "Stacey!!! C'mon if you let this guy tell ya what to do, you'll be doin' it the rest of your life!"
Stacey tried to grin, pretending to take Spinelli's advice. Stacey sighed and said, "Okay...I'll do it...." Stacey began walking back toward the playground doors.
Spinelli knew that Stacey wasn't taking her advice by the calm, polite disregarding attitude. Spinelli began walking fast to catch up with her again.
Gretchen tried to stop Spinelli, by saying, "Uh...Spinelli...you may want to let her go." Gretchen knew that Spinelli was pushing Stacey too much even though Stacey showed no signs of it. The rest of the gang knew it too...they could sense that the calm, cool, reserved girl was about to blow a fuse.
Spinelli shouted back to Gretchen, "Not now Gretch!" Spinelli faced Stacey and demanded, "Now Stacey! I ain't leavin' you alone until you promise me that you will fight back against Jamal!"
Unlike Spinelli's short-temper and 'hot-headed' attitude, Stacey was the opposite; she was very patient and tolerant about things. Stacey was really calm and reserved about most things in life, but... Stacey tried to avoid Spinelli's eyes and again, politely said, "Spinelli...please...I have to do this my own way..."
Spinelli became increasingly aggravated by Stacey's willingness to remain weak. She angrily demanded, "STACE! You can't do this! I'm TELLING YOU that guy is gonna walk ALL OVER YOU!" Spinelli reflected back on how tough she had to be to not be teased and pushed around.
Stacey with the utmost tact looked back at Spinelli and said, "I really appreciate what you are trying to do Spinelli, but this is something too big....you don't understand the situation...."
Spinelli wanted Stacey to stand up for herself and she shouted back, "UNDERSTAND?!? WHAT IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND?!? SOME GOOMBA IS PUSHING YOU AROUND AND YOU'RE JUST LETTING HIM! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!? YOU WON'T SURVIVE IN LIFE, BEING LIKE THIS!" Spinelli was caught up in the heat of the argument, trying everything to make Stacey aware of how much of a punching bag she was.
Stacey's just closed her eyes slowly, breathing slowly, and trying to calm herself down....as she tried to forget what Spinelli last said, 'You won't survive in life, being like this!' but it wouldn't get out of her mind. Spinelli had finally driven Stacey off of her 'long road of patience' and into the cliff of 'no return' because Spinelli applied pressure to a sensitive, emotional spot that would shake and resonate in the core of Stacey's emotional being. It was because Stacey had to remain quiet all the time when she was scared living in a violent, crime filled neighborhood. She grinded her teeth, and furiously trumpeted her voice where 25 children around them could hear, "WHO IN THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SPINELLI?!? HUH! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TELL ME THAT?!?" Stacey's face was shoved closer to Spinelli's and Stacey pointed to herself while saying 'to tell me that.'
Spinelli was blown away seeing how viciously angry Stacey was and just moved back mindlessly engrossed at Stacey's spewing explosive anger as was the rest of the gang and the 25 children around them.
Stacey ferociously yelled, "I WON'T SURVIVE IN LIFE?!? RIGHT?!? YOU DON'T KNOW A DANG THING ABOUT HOW IT IS THERE IN GHETTOS! YOU HAVE TO CONSTANTLY WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE SPINELLI!!! THAT'S RIGHT! YOUR MIND CAN NEVER BE AT EASE BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHO'S GONNA BEAT YOU UP, OR RAPE YOU, OR EVEN KILL YOU! WHAT THE HECK DO YOU KNOW?!? THINKIN' YOU'RE ALL THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BIG MOUTH AND CAN FIGHT?!? BIG STINKIN' WHOOP!"
Spinelli was stumbling on her words, trying to say something back but the anger, burning inside of Stacey's eyes, pierced dead through to Spinelli's eyes. Spinelli was terrified of her because she had never seen a kid so viciously enraged and spewing such passionate, unrestrained anger. The gang was just mortified seeing the quiet, timid, lonesome girl turn into a beast of deep rage with words as sharp as sword. Stacey took off her thick glasses to really intimidate and permanently shut Spinelli up. A crowd of 70 were now gathering around the scene.
Stacey violently continued, "SOMETIMES THE ONLY THING TO DO TO SURVIVE IS TO KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT! OTHERWISE, YOU WON'T HAVE A MOUTH TO SPEAK FROM! SO DON'T YOU TELL ME HOW TO SURVIVE IN LIFE! BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN FROM!!!" Stacey stormed away from Spinelli, and as she did so...she became more and more embarrassed about how big of a scene she made. Stacey just looked down trying to avoid glances and stares from the students, and quickly walked away and put her glasses back on. As she finally closed the doors behind her, after entering back into the school, her eyes started to water because all of the terror and sadness back at her old school that flooded back into her mind and how Spinelli questioned her 'survival' in life. She sluggishly wiped her boots off on the mat as the snow and slush fell down. She kind of regretted shouting at Spinelli but it's just that when Spinelli unknowingly said that, 'you won't survive in life...' line, it struck a chord of such intense emotional pain that all of the hurt she had been experiencing for half of her life (for 5 years) just unleashed itself.
She turned on her CD player to play a song to deviate her mind and emotions from what just happened. The song played, she put her headphones on and walked down the hallway....somewhere....to some place...only the sound of the music and her squeaking, wet boots accompanied her...which was all too familiar in her solitary world.
"...Perfect people in a perfect world
Behind closed doors all in control
Life in a world of luxury
Cold cash money mentality
You gotta keep the faith
You gotta keep the faith
You better keep the faith
And run away
Run away, run away
Run away and save your life
Run away, run away
Run away if you want to survive...
It's time to breath free
Ohoho
Run away oho
You better breath free
Ohoho
Run away oho…"
(Lyrics from Real McCoy "Run Away")
As she listened to the song and the beat, she emotionally drifted away with the song. She wanted to just run away, run away from the pain that weighed down her heart for so many years...
The gang was still shocked stiff over what just happened and Spinelli blinked several times trying to take it in. She slowly turned her head and faced the gang. She slowly said, "Guys...what just happened?"
Gus replied, "I think you went kind of overboard."
Spinelli felt self-conscious and worriedly asked, "Overboard?!? You think..."
Vince crossed his arms and complained, "Spinelli, I told you that this guy who's after Stacey is pretty dangerous and...."
Spinelli defended, "Hey! I didn't want her to just take garbage from anyone!"
Vince asked, off topic, "Hey did you guys notice how familiar Stacey looked without her glasses?" Vince knew he saw that face and it was somewhat familiar. He asked himself the outlandish question if it was Renee back from the school winter dance, but he dismissed it because Renee's and Stacey's personalities were too different from each other.
Gretchen ignored Vince, and elaborated, "Spinelli, your intentions may have been good, but your lack of tact made it come across the wrong way."
T.J. questioned the others, "How much do we actually know about Stacey? I mean she keeps a lot from us..."
Butch mysteriously joined into the conversation and added, "There's a lot you simple, protected children do not know about Stacey and her past neighborhood..."
Vince sighed, "Oh great...it's Butch again." Vince crossed his arms in annoyance expecting another 'tall tale' of Butch's.
Butch critically offered, "Do you want to hear it or not?"
Vince grudgingly replied, "Fine..."
Butch began with his usual creepy story telling voice, "So you guys want to know about Stacey? Well, from what I've heard Stacey comes from Detroit, Michigan and parts of the city are great and pretty safe actually....and some are...well, let's say you don't want to go taking a midnight stroll...since it could be your last..."
Gus and Mikey gulped in fear while the rest of the gang looked at Butch more seriously.
Butch continued, "... and Stacey lived in one of those wrong places and went to one of those dangerous schools where you have to watch your back! High crimes run rampant where bullies carry weapons and in one slice...you're a goner!" Mikey and Gus were shaking thinking about it, while Vince started to feel uneasy thinking about what happened to him last night. T.J., Spinelli, and Gretchen continued to listen in more closely. Butch went on, "Wherever you walk you have to keep your eyes opened for anyone that might steal or beat you up! Right Vince? When Jamal creamed ya?" Vince was shocked hearing that Butch knew about the fight and the boy's name, but then suddenly shuddered upon hearing how true Butch was on having to be aware of one's surroundings..
Gus whimpered, "Guys! I'm getting really scared now!"
Mikey ran up to Spinelli and cried out, "Hold me Spinelli! I'm scared!"
Spinelli pushed him off and sighed, "Get off of me you big lummox!" She faced Butch and sternly asked, "Butch, are you serious about this...about Stacey's old neighborhood?"
Butch ominously warned, "Well Spinelli, how serious are you about keeping your life?"
The gang stood still as shivers of fear rushed up and down their spines. As much as they couldn't believe the violence Stacey lived in, they knew that Vince's injuries were foreshadowing something more sinister in mind for them if they didn't comply with Jamal's demands.
Gretchen with a shaky voice, fearing to know what this next topic could really be, asked, "Butch, Jamal told Vince to expect 'Devil's Night' if we don't leave Stacey alone. What is....'Devil's Night'?"
Butch's eyes were bulged wide open. In shock, he questioned, "What is 'Devil's Night'?!? This guy is serious!"
Gretchen pleaded with Butch, "What does it MEAN BUTCH?!?"
Butch looked around in fright, feeling uneasy about the Third Street neighborhood knowing that Jamal was lurking around somewhere... Butch determined to finish explaining despite his fear, and he said, "'Devil's Night' is usually the night before Halloween where a lot of abandon homes are set on fire. In the '70s and '80s, the fires would engulf and destroy CITY BLOCKS!!! Today, it's not as bad and it's almost gone....but I'd watch your step because HE COULD SET YOUR HOMES ON FIRE!" (Author's Note: This information about "Devil's Night" is actually true! Check out www.encarta.com and search under "Detroit" under it's history and also look under "Halloween"…)
The gang just stood still as the cold wind blew across their bodies and face, trying to wake them up. They had a creeping sensation of how dangerous and ruthless Stacey's past was and the realization of how big it was as it slowly trickled into their minds. T.J. stood still, and dumbfounded he commented, "...I guess there is a lot more to Stacey than what we knew..." The six of them initially thought that when they first saw her that she was a timid, shy girl...almost a loner, but this new information from Butch dawned on them that there was a new dimension in Stacey's life to consider. A dimension, they understood that they only knew a miniscule amount of.
Butch ended their conversation with this, "Just because Stacey or other students may be quiet doesn't mean they don't have something to tell...in fact, it's the silent ones that have the deeper secrets..." Butch quickly walked away from them, looking around the playground making sure that Jamal was nowhere in sight.
----------
Back in the hallways of Third Street, Stacey came across Menlo just in front of the Secretary's office. Stacey was somewhat startled by him, since she was zoned out in the music, "Oh! Hi Menlo...is there something wrong?"
Menlo saw something was bothering Stacey but he decided to not push her because she didn't look like she wanted to talk. Menlo cleared his throat, and promptly said, "Stacey, Jimmy, one of our student counselors, requests your immediate presence in his office."
Stacey took of her headphones, turned down their volume, and asked in deep confusion, "What happened? Did I do something wrong?"
Menlo explained, "Counselors do not divulge their information about what the issue is for student confidentiality reasons. I suggest Stacey that you hide your CD player and headphones back in your pocket or backpack before Randall confiscates it."
Stacey was reminded of Monday, put them away in her backpack, and thanked, "Thanks Menlo. Where is this office?"
Menlo instructed, "Just go down the hallway and you'll easily find it." He laughed, "You'll continue to help me with Ashley A right?"
Stacey smirked and replied, "We'll see Menlo...I'm not your fairy godmother or anything. I can only do so much..."
After a few minutes she arrived at the waiting room, waiting to be called in and she soon was. Stacey carefully took one step at a time thinking there was wild animal or crabby teacher that was going to scold her. As she entered the doorway, she was relieved seeing a '20-something' guy with a warm smile and welcomed her in, "Good morning Ms. Stacey Reluve. Please take a seat." Stacey still was curious about what this whole thing was about and she took a seat. Her mind couldn't get off the fact of how young he was being a counselor.
Jimmy introduced himself, "Stacey, you can just call me Jimmy. Don't worry about using Mister and all that stuff." Jimmy was the same guy T.J. met with earlier a couple of weeks ago. He continued, "Are you having any problems with anything?"
Stacey just looked around the room as if there were hidden cameras watching and just simply replied, "No...why?"
Jimmy tried to gently open the issue up as he flipped through several pages of Stacey's records. He softly began, "Well Mr. Johnson and some of your peers have told us that you have been avoiding students a lot, so much so, that you are willing to do group projects all by yourself."
Stacey tried to quickly resolve the issue, smiled, and explained, "Well as for the projects, there were some students I didn't want to work with because I knew they couldn't get the job done. As for avoiding the students, well....I'm doing other things..." Stacey was trying to think up of something for avoiding the students instead of revealing her real reason for doing so.
Jimmy bit his tongue, knowing the matter was more complicated than that. He sighed, "Stacey, your last teacher Mr. Johnson and recently, Ms. Finster, has informed me that you rather spend time inside the classroom than outside on the playground. Is something wrong?"
Stacey laughed a bit, emphasizing, "It's cold outside...I just remain to stay indoors."
Jimmy
knew he wasn't getting anywhere with this discussion and he wanted to help her
out whatever the issue may have been. He
could notice how her eyes would be dodging his glances to her. Jimmy tried questioning, "Is there
something wrong at home I should know about?"
Stacey immediately stopped him saying, "No, no, it's nothing at my parents' home..."
Jimmy tried to dig deeper and asked, "Then what exactly is it? I'm here to help you out...that's what were here for." Jimmy gave a comforting smile to Stacey.
Stacey gave her usual fake smile, and answered, "There's nothing wrong! I don't know why everyone thinks that! I'm fine..."
Jimmy continued discussing Stacey's preferred isolation, he pressed on, "These teachers have told me that you wanted to sit near the corners and that you are the last one when it comes to group class participation. What's really happening Stacey?"
Stacey sat upright and slightly louder began, "I'm okay....."
Jimmy concluded, "Look Stacey, if I can't get an answer from you. I'm really sorry, but I have to call your parents and speak with them." Jimmy began picking up his desk phone and started calling.
Stacey jumped out of her seat, and slammed Jimmy's hand back down to hang up the phone call. Jimmy was taken back by Stacey's sudden move. Stacey sighed while standing, and proposed, "Jimmy, to save time and frustration....why don't you just say there's nothing wrong and it'll be over with?"
Jimmy raised his eyebrows and curiously asked, "Is there something wrong at home?!? You have to honestly tell me Stacey."
Stacey explained, "My parents are busy people right now, okay? They have more important things to be concerned about and I don't want to make it worse for them. Why can't you just tell the school, or whoever it is that wants to know so stupidly bad, that things are okay?"
Jimmy let go of the phone and he pleaded for Stacey to understand, "Stacey, the reason we want to know is because we care about you and all of our students!"
Stacey rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn't want anyone to enter into her personal zone of deep, penetrating soul-burdening pain. She calmly, and sternly said, "C'mon Jimmy, care about us? If you really cared, you would leave this whole issue alone."
Jimmy tried to softly plead to Stacey, "Whatever it is your facing...you don't have to face it alone."
Stacey took another deep breath, trying to ward off those emotions and flashbacks of the pain she experienced. Stacey with a cool, but self-reflective hurtful tone said, "Face it alone? I've been more emotionally alone than I could ever imagine...somehow I made it this far, and I don't need your help." She gulped trying to repress her emotions, and got up heading toward the door.
Jimmy spoke louder trying to stop Stacey; he put his hands over his desk with his palms up trying to understand, "What's wrong Stacey? Really! If you are hurting so bad, why are you smiling all the time? Please tell me, Stacey...please...."
Stacey looked back and took a few moments. She thought about her behavior and why she smiled all the time, she summarized it up saying softly as her eyes started to water up again and become more blood shot, "Smiling is easy....it's easy because people won't be bothered with your problems. Because who honestly wants to hear them? I mean....they'll think you're a complainer or whiner about life. And...." Stacey took a deep breath trying to force herself to not make a huge crying scene. She took a gulp and went on, "And....it helps to avoid the pain. Feeling and being sad is difficult because once you go there, it's like escaping from a dark, black hole that sucks you in deeper and faster. It rips deeper and harsher upon your heart and reasoning for being where you are in life..."
She was silent for a few seconds, and looked down on the ground while Jimmy just sat at his desk frozen hearing Stacey's emotions that was resonating out of her eyes and shaky voice. Jimmy was expecting Stacey to say more. Stacey just gave another smile as her eyes started to become glossy from the tears and she looked down, sniffling, "Excuse me..." She quickly went out the door and the door slowly creaked behind her.
Jimmy just kept blinking and looking down on his desk, and he knew something was hurting deep inside Stacey but he had no way of helping her if she wouldn't open up. He listened in as the door finally closed which seemed to symbolize Stacey closing the door on receiving help. Finally, as the door hinges increased the loudness of the creaking...it finally and quietly closed shut. It indicated that Stacey had 'closed the door' in more ways than one...
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To Be Continued…