Disclaimer: I don't anything, so that means I don't own HP.

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

This is a songfic from Remus Lupin's point of view. It is set after Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and contains spoilers.

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone I enter this place and as my knees give in I drop to the ground, my body shaking with dry sobs. Here I am back at headquarters for the Order. It hurts me so much to be back at your old house... I swear I can still feel you here. Not three days ago you kissed me over there and held me in your arms promising that everything would be alright and that we'd make it through this like we did last time. Last time... then again... last time things didn't end right either.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

How could you die, how could you be gone?! I loved you and now I am more alone than I have ever been in my life! I've lost you twice now and I cannot take this anymore... please, Sirius... find a way back to me, baby, please. This pain is just too real ... there's... no way around it. You're gone, I can't believe it, you're... gone. This can't be.... Burning tears stream down my face every time I think of... anything, I can't escape this pain!

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

You used to captivate me

By your resonating life

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me I can still hear you inside my head whispering sweet nothings before we got up in the morning, before another taxing day would start. I think I may be going mad... the sun will never shine, the nights will be cold and lonely and then once a month the pain of transforming will be unbearable like in the beginning. You remember that? Me running away once a month telling you all sorts of lies, but you knew... you knew there was something wrong with me, and you were so hurt that I hadn't told you my secret before then. But you comforted me in the dorms and I will never forget those times we had.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

I'm sorry, Sirius, I must end this. There's just too much that time will not erase. I will say goodbye to this world and see you once I have left my mortal body behind. Now I conjure a silver razor ... swiftly drag it across my wrists and lie down waiting to die... waiting to join you, my love. May I see you in Elysium...

How's that for a sad fic? Please review, minna-san. Goodbye.