Whoa! You people liked it! Thank you FUDDYDUDDY! Thank you DracoMalfoy23!!!!!! Thank you ObSidian10!!!!! Thank you lilith!!! Thank you narfysnape!!!!!! Thank you Les123454321!!!!!!! Thank you Elayne Sedai!!!!!! That's like….7 people! Dammit, Honors Geometry wasn't for nothing! You're all such wonderful people that I'm going to tell you the Ballad of the Ugly Lego. I was at my friend Anne's house in Minnesota, and I was hanging out in her room raiding her manga collection (read Kodocha! It's really cute…and a bit strange!) but anyways, I see this really ugly Lego version of this little dude in a dungeon thing. All I remember is that the Lego had a little freaky felt cape and was REALLY ugly. I say, "Anne, what is that?"
"I think it's Snape from Harry Potter, actually." I just start laughing. Hysterically. Hey, I'm 14, it's what I do. Anyways, her little 10-year-old brother comes in, he starts laughing too, I show him the Lego, he turns out the lights, it glows in the dark. Anne and her sister were just staring at me like "What the hell?" Yeah, it was really funny. Well, moving on…
It was a few weeks before Sirius kicked the bucket; I hadn't had an opportunity to do it before. I went to Grimmauld Place and we locked ourselves in this room, I yelled at him for about a half an hour. All I remember was saying how he ruined my life, how messed up I already was before he came along, how it was partly his fault I became a Death Eater…miraculously I was keeping my composure except for the screaming. He was just sitting there in this big wooden chair and staring at me. When I was done I just plopped down on the floor. He looked down at me and he said, "Severus, it was years ago. You need to get this out of your head. We did go a little overboard sometimes, I'm sorry."
"No, you're not."
"What does it matter? Like you said, you were already messed up. In essence, it wasn't really our fault…"
"YES IT WAS!!!!!"
"Calm down, Severus! Just…just calm your whole life down."
"You called me Snivellus in front of James' son. He's not James, you know. You may think he is, but…"
"Jeez, I'm sorry! Just go do some yoga, drink some tea, and get your head out of the clouds. And Harry's a good boy. Get off his case."
"You think he's James. Now you're on me for sometimes thinking the same thing once in a while."
"I lost my best friend. His son needs me as a father figure."
"FATHER FIGURE??? I NEEDED A FATHER FIGURE!!!"
"Listen to yourself, Severus. You still think you're sixteen! And it's not like I had the best time in-I won't go there. I could help you out, maybe. Forget." I remember just wanting to strangle him.
"You-I-I-""James felt worse than I did about what happened to you at Hogwarts. He thought that we made you a Death Eater, but you know what-there's something to be said for personal responsibility. Don't you have essays to grade, Severus?"
"You bastard."
"Oh, you're just pissed because you still don't have any friends. You know, you could try smiling, maybe take care of your appearance to a certain extent. I mean, honestly, Snivelly…I'm trying to help here…" That's when I started crying. I bit my cheeks, trying to stop myself, but nothing happened. At least it was silent. Why the hell did I have to go and do that? "Looks like I hit a sore note, Severus. It's just a reality check, you know. Sorry I had to do that. And I am sorry about back at Hogwarts, even if you don't believe me. It was pretty funny sometimes though. I wonder if you wash your pants now?" I was still sobbing. "Get over yourself! Ugh, you're a grown man! Come on, aren't you going to try to beat me up? Oh, wait, that wouldn't work too well…go home and cry into your pillow like you did back at Slytherin tower every night. Lucius Malfoy told me how you kept them all awake and that they threw pillows at you to get you to stop. But, I hope you'll be able to get on with your life. Hope I helped." He left the room, left me in there to use the fireplace and the Floo Network to leave. I didn't care when he died. I outlived the both of them; James and Sirius, and I think there was a sort of gory triumph in that for me. I remembered every word of that conversation at Grimmauld place, maybe now I can forget. Not your finest moment, Severus. But when I think back on that, it really does feel like me in that memory as opposed to the way I feel in the Glenn episodes, like I'm actually the one sobbing on the floor while Sirius just sat there and told me all about myself.
Well? Sorry I made Sirius a jerk…but he kind of is, at times. In my personal opinion. Keep reading! You might like Angels for Everyone, too…damn, I love to plug my own work! No, honestly, nobody reads it, pretty please?