I forgot to thank Catmint! Thank you Catmint! Well, Draco Malfoy makes a drop-dead depressing little cameo in this chappie. Dammit, Draco better kill himself in the last book. Why? Eh, cool plot twist. Either that, or he should come out of the closet as a homosexual. I actually have evidence that he's gay. It's mildly compelling…one, who did he take to the Yule Ball? Pansy Parkinson! Aaaaaaaaand what does she look like? A pug! He's not ugly, he's rich, surely there are other, better Slytherin chicks. Maybe he doesn't have a real taste in women, or maybe he just doesn't care because he was planning to ask Diggory but chickened out…and then there are the veela at the World Cup. Ron and Harry were practically passing out from the shock to their newly raging hormones, but is their any mention of Draco's reaction? NO! He's in the same box! And I also think he has a crush on Snape, even though he's probably just a little suck-up. Sorry, I've had a long and boring summer. Without that summer boredom, I never woulda written this!
Draco Malfoy. That poor bastard. He came to my office today after class. Just sat there and stared at this jar I have with a floating cow's eye in it. He looked like he was trying not to cry for, like, fifteen minutes straight. He's good at it, too. Maybe he should give me lessons hahahahahaha. Lucius Malfoy was good to me back at Hogwarts, and he was good to me for the most part when we were Death Eaters. Very big-brotherly kind of person. Narcissa Malfoy's very manipulative, but I believe that was an acquired quality and not one she was born with. When it really comes down to it I believe that they were pretty good parents to Draco considering the whole Death-Eater thing. Well, to get back to my original story eventually Draco just said, "Sir, I don't know what to do."
"I don't know what you should do. You miss your father?"
"Yes, but more than that…I've just been planning and training my whole life to be a Death Eater and now I feel like there's nothing for me to do."
"What are you best at?"
"Defense Against the Dark Arts, I guess."
"Be an Auror. Train."
"But my father…my mother…"
"Screw them. Be an Auror, and be better than Potter."
"Hmm. I could think about that."
"All right. Good." I think he might have finally cried then. Very impressive at stalling the waterworks.
"Thank you, Professor."
"I did nothing. Now go do your homework."
"Yes, sir." Then he left my office. I don't know if he's really bright enough to be an Auror, but it's something to shoot for. Poor kid. Everyone's worried about the well-being of Gryffindors like Potter but it's the Slytherins that get left in the dust that need the most help.
I told my friend Elizabeth the intellectually superior grad student about my little theory about Draco, and she said that she doesn't think that the evil character should be gay because it's a bad stereotype or something. Hey, he's not evil, he's just acting out because he doesn't want to come to terms with his sexual impulses! Well, she thinks that Neville should be gay instead. Whatever.