Let's have some fun with this chapter…don't expect this to happen very often…this tells the strange tale of Snape's first sexual experience. Though it's definitely PG-13, don't worry. I'll thank my reviewers next time, I promise.
Well, they aren't putting Narcissa Malfoy in Azkaban. That's good, I suppose. But she is on house arrest, and she's been stripped of all her house-elves. Our house-elf was named Teabag. She was always really sweet to me, even though she didn't know what Glenn was doing. She might have caught on, I'll never know. I felt really horrible giving her clothes. She cried and cried, and then I cried…it was horrible, but I had to do it. I was selling the house. What else was I supposed to do? Poor Teabag, I wonder what she's been up to. Draco's been doing well in his classes, from what I hear. Even Care of Magical Creatures, to my astonishment. I was a good student. Did anyone care? Did that ever get Severus Snape anywhere? They say that those who can't, teach, but I can't teach. So what am I? And where the hell did I hear that expression anyways? I remember when I was in Sixth Year. Narcissa invited me up to the astronomy tower one night. Back then she wasn't too attractive. Well, not like she is now I guess. She had blond wispy hair that she put up in a sort of tousled bun every day. She was going out with Lucius Malfoy on-again off-again, and she was in the off-again. Her name was Narcissa Ladrius back then. When I came up to the tower she was laying on a blanket. There was a candle lit.
"Come over here, Severus."
"O-okay, Narcissa."
"Sit down, Severus." I sat down. "You're such a bad boy, Severus…sneaking up here…" She giggled. "This is where Lucius and I always come, you know." She tossed her head back. Her bun came out. "I'm probably going to marry him someday. I can tell these things."
"Are you a Seer, Narcissa?" She giggled.
"You're so adorable, Severus. You're not too attractive, but…you'll listen to anything I say, won't you?" She was still smiling. I didn't do anything. I was scared as hell. "Then I'm going to tell you…I'm going to tell you about my family, okay? The Ladrius family. We've got some Muggle blood in us, but do you think we'll tell anyone? Ha! My mum hates kids, and my dad…most of the time we don't even know where the hell he is. Isn't it sad?"
"Umm…yeah, I guess."
"Have you ever seen a naked woman before?" I had seen my mum once when I was little, but I assumed that didn't count.
"No."
"Do you want to?" My heart was pounding.
"Yeah…I guess." She took off her robes. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. "Do you like it, Severus? Do you want more?"
"Wuh…why me?" She stopped smiling.
"Something to do, I guess. Someone." She started smiling again. "It's a yes or no question, Severus."
"Uhhh…yeah, that." She sighed.
"Never mind." She started to take off my robes. We made love. It was petrifying. I'm surprised I even managed to go through with it. I guess I wasn't good enough, because she got back with Lucius a few days later and she never really talked to me again.