Things happen very quickly in this chapter....don't blink=)  No, honestly, everything just gets laid out in the open here.  Maybe it a little too fast....meh.  Deal with it, you're all adults.  Well, probably teenagers at least.  I've just noticed that the words "no" and "dammit" come up a lot.  I'm just too lazy to edit this mofo, super sorry.  But...if you've been waiting for the romantic stuff I guess you'll be happy.  Oh, by the way, this is as far as I've written of this sooo....now I have to write more!  Anything you might wanna see?  Let me know...though a review!  I love reviews!  Oh, and for the last fricking time read my fictionpress stuff too.  Actually it might not be the last time because I'm a shameless review whore and I love to plug my own stuff.  Oh and thank you lavondyss21.  Everybody has such cool names and I don't!!!!!  Oh and thank you Trafalger...I think...no memory...

Last night, after all of that with Dumbledore, I was on my bed in a reclining position.  I had slid down from being back to the headboard and hadn't seen the point in pushing myself back up.  Minerva just barged in, looking like she was about to be run over by a dragon.  She sat down in front of me.

            "God, Severus, why do you do this?  I can't watch this!"

            "Then don't look."

            "Dammit, if you keep this up it's going to kill you!"  She grabbed the bottle from my hand-I had a loose grip-and threw it over her shoulder.  Naturally, it didn't break, but the vodka spilled on the floor.  She pulled me up by the shoulders and shook me once.  I don't think she meant to do it, since she immediately let me go with a look of horror.  My head hit the headboard.  It didn't hurt that much, but I still started to cry.

            "Dammit, Minerva!"

            "Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…"

            "I can't take it, Minerva!  I can't take it!"

            "Whu-what?  The drinking?"

            "No, you idiot woman!  Life!  Living!  This useless planet!"  She reached out to hug me, but I think she decided against it.

            "Don't…do you want to…."

            "Not as often as most of the people I know would like!  Think about it!  Wouldn't your life be easier not having to baby-sit me?"  Then she hugged me.

            "No, no, I love you!"  I tried to laugh, but choked instead.

            "Oh, shut the hell up!  What about me could possibly make that even conceivable?"

            "Dammit, Severus, I-you're brave, you're witty, you're so smart, you're a survivor-"

            "Of….of what?"

            "I can just see it!  When you first came to teach here I knew what school was like for you, knew what you'd done in the First War, and-I don't know, dammit!  I don't know what it is!  You're-I love you!  I just love you!"

            "No.  You're lying.  Nobody's ever loved me. I am physically unlovable.  I don't believe you."  She started to cry, no, sob, worse than I've ever seen any woman cry.

            "No, no, no, no!  I love you!  I don't understand it!  But I want to care for you, want to make you feel better, I want to love you!"

            "No!  No!  No you don't, because I love you and things don't work that way for me!"  I love Minerva.  It was killing me, ripping me up, and I never even said it in here.  Or that I wanted to kill myself.  Probably because it wasn't a constant thought, just a fleeting daydream once or twice a day.  Thinking about the release, the loss of pain…well, anyways.  Minerva wanted to smile, I could tell, but she didn't.

            "Severus, if you love me and I love you…well…then…everything's good with that part of it!  Now…don't drink, do it for me!  Please!  Please, Severus."  She put her right hand on my cheek.  She was going to kiss me, I could feel it.

            "No!  Wait…I…oh, god!"

            "What?  What?"

            "Just…go ahead and do it, come on, I'll like it."

            "But you don't like this?"

            "I…I should.  So I will."

            "Why don't you like it, Severus?"

            "Dammit, I…screw it!  You don't need to know, I love you, so just go ahead!"

            "Oh, god, Severus, did they do something to you?  Who did something to you, Severus?"

            "Nothing.  Nobody.  This is just too fast, way too fast.  Leave, please, Minerva, please."

            "Oh…um…I'll go get you a Divertium Potion, if that's what you want."

            "Sure.  Fine.  Whatever.  Works for me.  Just...go now."  And she left, and she came back, and that's all I want to say about that right now.