That very night I hardly managed to sleep. I couldn't avoid the continuous thought of that shy gorgeous man who was making, for the first time in months, my dreams uneasy, making me foolishly dream awake.
Next morning, after work, I saw myself heading for the coffee I had met him, but I was trying to convince myself that that man wouldn't be there in this occassion. I couldn't explain myself why I was feeling so nervous at the solely thought of meeting him once more. He was a fresh air breeze on one of my lonely days, but only that. A weird meeting which would have no more importance on the coming days and weeks and months which were waiting for me until I may overcome my depressive state, given the chance that some day I would manage to do it.
My heart bit faster as I opened the coffee door with my eyes longing for a glance of him. The beating of my heart died as I saw no trace of him in the busy place. Many people, chatting as the day before, stressed waiters attending the clients, but he, the mistery man who signed as MV, was not there.
I took sit in a corner table, making a sign to the waiter to order my American-style tea, and feeling more disgraced than the day before. I had been a completely fool; someone offered me a bit of understanding and strage interest and my life had become removed from its base for half a day. Well, at least it was more than nothing, At least I could accept the fact that I was not dead to the world... yet.
Trying to concentrate myself in the crossword, as usual, I noticed a tear running down my cheek. Oh, my God, I thought, Syd, you're going crazy for nothing!. OK, he acted as a wind of hope for me, but I could not allow myself to spend my little strength with such an unrelevant thing.
The crossword was over, but unknown reasons forced me to remain there, hoping nothing, waiting for nobody. I just took a book from my bag and I started to read, not having a clue of what the hell I was reading about.
Darkness had grown outside... Most people had already left the coffee, but I was still there, determined to stay till the last bit of illogical hope remained with me. Little by little, I managed to concentrate in the book. Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' was the story which matched the more my state at those moments, so the book had me caught in its magic. I didn't notice the entrance door opening, I had abandoned the effort of looking up every single time it sounded, so I kept my attention unconsciously to the master's lines. Nor did I listen to the steps which were getting closer to my table.
"Hello", he said. I didn't look at him, but I knew his voice, better sais, my heart did it because it began beating faster. Hope came to me from the distance, in a rush, suddenly, making me gasp in abandoned surprise. "Sorry for distracting you" he smiled, and he seemed sincere to me.
Without a soul... my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,
until you find it there and lead it back home
The song crossed my shocked mind once more, as it drew my feelings perfectly. He had finally come, over all hope, to make me feel alive again... thought it could be for only another day and night. I didn't need more, the sole thought of sharing minutes with him conforted me enough.
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