Sorry, I haven't updated in a while. Bad stuff happened. A lot of bad stuff. I promise to update more frequently in the future.......yeah, right! No seriously I will TRY.

Disclamer: No, I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. If I did Johnny Depp would have played every part in the movie. Think about it, wouldn't that have been cool?

'Must awe them with fasinating stories, so they'll let me escape!'

"...and then they made me their chief."

'What was that spash there?'

So I look over the side of the ship and some bint has gone and fallen in. She looks a bit unconcious.

"Will you be saving her then?"

"I can't swim."

'He must be joking. Wait, can the other one?'

He just seemed to look at me confused. Great.

"Pearl of the King's Navy you are."

'Bloody 'ell. Looks as though I'm being forced to play the straping hero. This can't be good for my reputation. Hopefully they can successfully watch over a few things for me while I'm off rescuing the girl.'

"Do not lose these."

'Sodding gown's weighing here down quite a bit. No wonder she sank like a stone."

So I was able to get the dress off of her rather easily, although not for the reasons I normally would, partially due to the poor stiching. Then I kicked off the ground and took her up to the surface.

"I got her," one of the blokes yelled before beginning to panic, "Not breathing!"

"Move!," I practically have to push him out of my way to help the poor lass.

'Not suprised she fainted having to deal with that bleeding corset. Why do women put themselves through this?!'

"Never would have thought of that."

'Of course you wouldn't, you poor sheltered fool.'

"Clearly you've never been to Singapore."

'What was that shiny little- no bleeing way.'

"Where did you get that?"

I heard some loud commotion going on behind me, but I was a bit distraced. I thought that what I had in my hands was, no, no, it couldn't be. It just couldn't.

"On your feet," some poncy haired bugger shouted at me.

'I'm not going to agrivate him, just yet, since he currently has a weapon.'

"Shoot him!"

'Wait! What? Shoot ME? Oh, bloody hell.....why does this always happen. I suppose now it's about time for my daring and stylish escape.'

"Father! Commodore, do you really intend to kill my rescuer?"

'Oh, good! Maybe the bint can get me out of this.'

"I believe thanks are in order."

'Thanks? Well, alright mate. If you insist."

So I take the bloke's hand. A bit suprised I'm getting some gratitude, but hey! I could probably get a reward or something. Oh bloody hell. Now he knows I'm a pirate although, I'm a bit suprised he didn't notice it sooner what with my pirate clothing and hat.

"Had a brush with the East India Trading company, did we, pirate?"

'Shit'

"Hang him."

'Fuck. That's worse.'

"Keep your guns on him, men. Gillette, fetch some irons."

'Why is he still holding onto my hand? Is that suposed to keep me from escaping? Don't touch my sleve! Well, at least now he knows who I am.'

"Well, well... Jack Sparrow, isn't it?"

'CAPTAIN! I'm a bleeding captain!'

Although I said with a bit more style, "Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please, sir."

And he says while looking around, "Well, I don't see your ship...Captain."

'Oh sure, point out the thing I'm most sensitive about.'

"I'm in the market as it were."

'Actually I just need a ship to help me get to my ship and the boat I borrowed broke. I don't seem to be having much luck at sea traveling vessels. Maybe I should get a horse?'

"He said he'd come to commandeer one."

"Told ya he was telling the truth. These are his, sir."

'No, not my hat.'

"No additional shots nor powder."

'Because I'm saving that shot.'

"A compass that doesn't point north."

'Well, it points somewhere a bit more important.'

"And I half expected it to be made of wood."

'Why the bloody hell would I have a wooden sword?!'

"You are, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of." What was with that little sneer of his? Oh well.

"But you have heard of me," I retort feeling a bit clever.

"Commodore, I really must protest."

'Oh, she still feels she owes me something even though I'm a pirate. Nice girl. Daft, but nice. Not too hard on the eyes either.'

"Pirate or not this man saved my life," God, she's still whining. I'm not even sure I want to be saved it I'd have to listen to this.

"One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness."

'Well, you're a bastard.'

"Though it seems enough to condemn him," he really shouldn't be able to kill me for being nice. It'll discourage others.

"Indeed," I think I hit a nerve.

I let out a bit of a sigh. The bloke's lackey took forever with the irons on me wrists, "Finally."

'Maybe this'll teach the girl not to trust strangers. You think she'd know that in this point of her life though. Oh well, she's my hostage now.'

"I knew you'd warm up to me. Commodore Norrington, my effects, please, and my hat. Commodore! Elizabeth. It is Elizabeth isn't it?"

"It's Miss Swann."

'She seems a bit more angry than before. Maybe this'll teach her not to be so nice.'

"Miss Swann, if you'd be so kind. Come, come, dear, we don't have all day. Now if you'd be very kind."

'I'm having more fun than I have in a while.'

"Easy on the goods, darling."

"You're despicable."

'Was that suposed to hurt my feelings?'

"Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine, we're square. Gentlemen, m'lady, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow !"

'I'm definately going to have to run like hell to get out of this situation.'