Angel sat at his desk examining a pile of legal papers. He had been sitting
there for some time reading and re-reading the first paragraph. He would be
getting halfway down the page and his mind would begin to wander and he
would have to start from the beginning again. He was just about start at
the top again when the door to his office burst open and Harmony swept in
and up to his desk.
"Morning Bossy" she said.
Angel tried to glare at her but she seemed not to notice, he thought to himself that perhaps he glared so much now that people were starting to think he always looked like that.
"Post is here" said Harmony as the started riffling through the stack of envelopes she had brought in with her.
"Invoice, invoice, begging letter, invoice oo..oo this one is addressed to the both of us" Harmony was suddenly excited.
"Its like we were a couple or something" she squealed.
Angel stood up and grumpily grabbed the envelope out of his secretary's hand. He had to put a stop to this. He examined the envelope, it was a typical padded yellow envelope, the type he had seen far too much of in recent months.
It was addressed in big black felt tip, Angel read it out loud to try to convince himself that what it said was real.
"To Mr and Mrs Angel Harmony, care of Wolfram and Hart"
Angel looked up from the envelope to Harmony who was biting her lip in anticipation.
"What is it, let me see?" she said.
Angel sighed and tore open the envelope in resignation.
Angel had a sinking feeling as a small medallion fell from the envelope and landed on his desk.
"I have so been here before" he mumbled to himself.
"Oh that's pretty" said Harmony stretching out to pick up the medallion.
"Oh no you don't" said Angel as he reached out to stop her.
"We don't know what it is" he said.
Harmony feigned to draw her hand away and as Angel relaxed she made another lunge for it. Angel saw what she was doing and jumped to stop her, their hands collided and made contact with the medallion simultaneously. At the precise moment their hands and the medallion made contact a sharp charge of electrical energy shout up their arms.
Angel blacked out for a moment and drew back from the medallion. He was feeling slightly whozzy and it was a moment or two before he could open his eyes. Finally, although he felt strangely unsteady, he felt clear-headed again and opened his eyes. Two things struck his attention immediately. Firstly he realised that he had somehow moved to the other side of the desk from where he had previously been standing and secondly the ceiling seemed higher than he remembered.
Harmony's head was spinning and it took her a little while to feel stable again but she kept her eyes shut. She felt heavy, very heavy. She put her hand to her face trying to soothe the ache in her head. When her fingers brushed her forehead she froze, something was very wrong.
Angel looked across his desk and was very surprised at what he saw. At first he thought it must be a reflection until he realised that there were no mirrors in his office and that even if there were he would not have a reflection. It was when the realised that he was looking up at himself that he began to realise what had happened. He reached up to feel his hair and instead of the usual gel encrusted short stands there were long flowing locks that he then pulled them forward to look at. They were very blonde.
Harmony was running her hands over her forehead. It was big and bumpy but not in a vamped out way. She was beginning to realise what had happened and she ran her hand slowly down her face and across her chest. Something was missing there and when she moved her hand down further bellow the belt she squealed in surprise at what she had seemed to gained down there.
"Get your hands away from there" said Angel.
The two vampires looked at each other as they both absorbed the fact that Angel had just spoken with Harmony's voice.
"I wasn't touching anything" said Harmony sheepishly.
She was taken aback by the masculine sound of the words as they left her mouth. Well it was really Angel's mouth but for the moment it was hers. They had both been dealing with mystical events for a long time and they had heard of people swapping bodies before but the reality of it happening to them was still shocking.
Angel in particular was not just coping with the sudden change in gender and loss of his own body but was also now having to get to grips with heels as they paced about trying to decide what to do next.
"We should call Wesley" said Harmony.
"NO...no, we'll sort this out ourselves. I'm not having anybody see me like this" said Angel.
He looked at Harmony who was standing at a jaunty angle with her left hand on her hips and examining the nails of her right hand.
"Or like that" he continued.
Harmony looked up from her cuticle inspection and realised how she must look.
"Sorry Boss I'll try to be more butch but you really need a manicure".
Angel shook his head in desperation.
"Listen stay here, do not leave this room. I'll go to the library and see what I can find out about this and how we can reverse the effect" said Angel.
"Will do Boss" said Harmony as she dropped herself down on the couch and crossed her legs demurely.
Angel looked at her as she picked up a magazine and began to read.
"Ooo, look at Brad and Jen. Brad is looking so good" she said.
"Just stay put" said Angel as he turned to walk to the door.
Angel stumbled a little on the way, it would take him a human lifetime to get used to walking in heels. With that thought he felt a sudden need for urgency.
----
Angel marched though the foyer of Wolfram and Hart and headed towards to library. As he headed toward the main elevator he passed Spike.
"Hey Harm, how's the head?" asked Spike.
Angel did not even look a Spike but headed in the direction he wanted regardless. Spike watched what he thought was Harmony receding into the distance.
"Last time I show remorse for clocking you one round the noggin" he shouted after her "stupid bint"
Spike continued towards Angel's office. He had been having a kip in the janitor's cupboard as he tried to recover from the recent fight with Angel in Nevada. It had not helped and despite his vamipiric healing abilities he still ached. He and Angel had to talk.
Spike strode purposefully up to the door of Angel's office and gave a gentle tap before opening the door and poking his head in.
---
"I'm bored" said Harmony.
She had only been sitting on the couch and reading the magazine for a couple of minutes but she was already feeling cooped up. She tried pacing but could still not get used to the big body she now inhabited. Then she had an idea for something that would make herself feel more at home. She marched over to the large Television that was a centrepiece of Angel's office.
---
Spike had seen a lot of things in his long un-life but the sight before him now was enough to burn out his eyeballs. The office was the same as usual and the TV was on, also not so strange. What was strange was that the TV was tuned to MTV and was playing one of those irritating Spice Girls videos at full volume. But what really took the biscuit in the strangeness stakes was the sight of Angel shaking his booty to the song in the middle of the room.
"I'll tell ya what I want what I rally really want" sung the Vampire with his back to the door.
What Spike thought was Angel stopped dead when he turned and saw the bleach blonde looking at him with a very perturbed expression.
"Girl power" said Spike.
---
"I never had you down as a disco bunny, until now" said Spike.
"I.. I.." mumbled Harmony through Angel's lips as she wondered how she would explain this to Angel.
"I knew about Manillow but this, there is only so far that tolerance can go" said Spike as a very broad smile spread across his face.
"Listen Spike...um...I'm not feeling myself today" said Harmony.
"Is that right Captain Forehead, why have you changed the habit of a lifetime" Spike said with a snigger.
Harmony was slow to get the reference but when she did she let out a girlish giggle which she tried to swallow back when she remembered that Spike thought he was talking to Angel.
Spike stood with his head tilted to one side as he tried to understand what exactly was wrong with Angel. Yes he was behaving strangely but he was always emotionally inconsistent and this time he seemed to have totally lost it.
"Blondie Be...cough..sorry.. Spike I think we need to have a talk" said Harmony.
"Oh yeah, what about?" asked Spike
"About Harmony"
"Why do we need to talk about that ditsy mare?"
"Ditsy what....No..I mean yes we need to keep the office dynamic good after our.. I mean your ...you know....thing the other day"
"Oh me shagging and knocking out the silly cow"
Harmony sighed and sat down with crossed legs on the couch, patting the cushion beside her to indicate that Spike should sit next to her.
Spike puzzled over whether he should accept the invitation or not but his curiosity got the better of him and he sauntered over and slung himself down next to what he thought was Angel. Spike sat back with his arm resting along the back of the couch and his legs spread wide in front of him.
Harmony turned and faced her ex. She tried very hard to keep her motions limited and to not be too expressive when she spoke.
"Listen Spike whatever has gone on between us..I mean you two in the past we have to be mature about it" she said.
"Okaaaay. Why don't you tell lava brain about it"
"Lava what?"
"Lava Brain you know Little Miss Serious Brain Harm"
Harmony wanted to smack Spike hard in the face but decided to try to be calm and conciliatory about it.
"We..I mean you two have to work on our..I mean your relationship" she said.
She leaned in closer to Spike and placed her hand on his thigh. Spike looked at Angel's hand and back up at his face before jumping out of the couch faster than a bullet.
"Hey what are you trying to say mate?" he said.
Harmony was having a lot of difficulty remembering that she was supposed to be Angel. She kept trying to get the mes and the yous correct but still slipped in to referring to herself as herself rather than as Harmony, another person.
"Look all I'm trying to say is after that time in the other lawyers office, I'd like to have a go...I mean.."
"Hey Angel Mate, this is getting a bit much ain't it. I know there was that once and you want to make things up since our punch up but you've got to know where to draw the line, alright"
"No I did not mean we should.....I meant you and Harm...what do you mean that once?"
Harmony stopped speaking as she watched Spike charge out of the office.
---
Angel strode confidently out of the library with a book under his arm convinced that he had found a solution to all his problems. He was heading towards his office when he saw Spike storming out and towards him.
---
Spike left Angel's office as quickly as he could, convinced that Angel had finally flipped. He saw Harmony approaching from the other side of the lobby. Feeling slightly challenged in the macho department following his recent uncomfortable chat with Angel Spike knew what he had to do.
"I'm all man me" he whispered under is breath.
As Harmony passed close to him Spike grabbed by the arm under which she was carrying the book and pulled her close to face him. Then with as much passion as he could muster he gave her a long forceful kiss. Spike felt the book under her arm drop and land on his foot. He did not flinch but kept pressing. Then with a flourish he let her go and headed towards the elevators.
"Always leave them wanting more" he shouted behind him as he left.
---
Angel stood in the middle of the lobby with the book by his feet and his mouth hanging open.
---
Angel and Harmony sat looking at each other across Angel's desk. It was about 10 minutes since Angel, then in Harmony's body, had charged back onto his office with a book under his arm. The book of ancient magic had laid out an easy chant to reverse the spell that had affected them. Surprisingly it had worked first time and they were now both settling back into their own bodies.
"So, um, what did Spike have to say" asked Angel.
A horrified Harmony looked back at Angel but stayed silent.
"I saw him leave here all agitated, what went on, I mean what did you do, I mean say to him?" asked Angel as he tried to remain nonchalant.
"I didn't touch him" blurted out Harmony.
Angel raised a horrified eyebrow.
"I mean, we didn't do, sorry say anything"
Angel's brow furrowed.
"Ok, so why did he.."
"Why did he what" said Harmony.
"Nothing" said Angel.
The End
"Morning Bossy" she said.
Angel tried to glare at her but she seemed not to notice, he thought to himself that perhaps he glared so much now that people were starting to think he always looked like that.
"Post is here" said Harmony as the started riffling through the stack of envelopes she had brought in with her.
"Invoice, invoice, begging letter, invoice oo..oo this one is addressed to the both of us" Harmony was suddenly excited.
"Its like we were a couple or something" she squealed.
Angel stood up and grumpily grabbed the envelope out of his secretary's hand. He had to put a stop to this. He examined the envelope, it was a typical padded yellow envelope, the type he had seen far too much of in recent months.
It was addressed in big black felt tip, Angel read it out loud to try to convince himself that what it said was real.
"To Mr and Mrs Angel Harmony, care of Wolfram and Hart"
Angel looked up from the envelope to Harmony who was biting her lip in anticipation.
"What is it, let me see?" she said.
Angel sighed and tore open the envelope in resignation.
Angel had a sinking feeling as a small medallion fell from the envelope and landed on his desk.
"I have so been here before" he mumbled to himself.
"Oh that's pretty" said Harmony stretching out to pick up the medallion.
"Oh no you don't" said Angel as he reached out to stop her.
"We don't know what it is" he said.
Harmony feigned to draw her hand away and as Angel relaxed she made another lunge for it. Angel saw what she was doing and jumped to stop her, their hands collided and made contact with the medallion simultaneously. At the precise moment their hands and the medallion made contact a sharp charge of electrical energy shout up their arms.
Angel blacked out for a moment and drew back from the medallion. He was feeling slightly whozzy and it was a moment or two before he could open his eyes. Finally, although he felt strangely unsteady, he felt clear-headed again and opened his eyes. Two things struck his attention immediately. Firstly he realised that he had somehow moved to the other side of the desk from where he had previously been standing and secondly the ceiling seemed higher than he remembered.
Harmony's head was spinning and it took her a little while to feel stable again but she kept her eyes shut. She felt heavy, very heavy. She put her hand to her face trying to soothe the ache in her head. When her fingers brushed her forehead she froze, something was very wrong.
Angel looked across his desk and was very surprised at what he saw. At first he thought it must be a reflection until he realised that there were no mirrors in his office and that even if there were he would not have a reflection. It was when the realised that he was looking up at himself that he began to realise what had happened. He reached up to feel his hair and instead of the usual gel encrusted short stands there were long flowing locks that he then pulled them forward to look at. They were very blonde.
Harmony was running her hands over her forehead. It was big and bumpy but not in a vamped out way. She was beginning to realise what had happened and she ran her hand slowly down her face and across her chest. Something was missing there and when she moved her hand down further bellow the belt she squealed in surprise at what she had seemed to gained down there.
"Get your hands away from there" said Angel.
The two vampires looked at each other as they both absorbed the fact that Angel had just spoken with Harmony's voice.
"I wasn't touching anything" said Harmony sheepishly.
She was taken aback by the masculine sound of the words as they left her mouth. Well it was really Angel's mouth but for the moment it was hers. They had both been dealing with mystical events for a long time and they had heard of people swapping bodies before but the reality of it happening to them was still shocking.
Angel in particular was not just coping with the sudden change in gender and loss of his own body but was also now having to get to grips with heels as they paced about trying to decide what to do next.
"We should call Wesley" said Harmony.
"NO...no, we'll sort this out ourselves. I'm not having anybody see me like this" said Angel.
He looked at Harmony who was standing at a jaunty angle with her left hand on her hips and examining the nails of her right hand.
"Or like that" he continued.
Harmony looked up from her cuticle inspection and realised how she must look.
"Sorry Boss I'll try to be more butch but you really need a manicure".
Angel shook his head in desperation.
"Listen stay here, do not leave this room. I'll go to the library and see what I can find out about this and how we can reverse the effect" said Angel.
"Will do Boss" said Harmony as she dropped herself down on the couch and crossed her legs demurely.
Angel looked at her as she picked up a magazine and began to read.
"Ooo, look at Brad and Jen. Brad is looking so good" she said.
"Just stay put" said Angel as he turned to walk to the door.
Angel stumbled a little on the way, it would take him a human lifetime to get used to walking in heels. With that thought he felt a sudden need for urgency.
----
Angel marched though the foyer of Wolfram and Hart and headed towards to library. As he headed toward the main elevator he passed Spike.
"Hey Harm, how's the head?" asked Spike.
Angel did not even look a Spike but headed in the direction he wanted regardless. Spike watched what he thought was Harmony receding into the distance.
"Last time I show remorse for clocking you one round the noggin" he shouted after her "stupid bint"
Spike continued towards Angel's office. He had been having a kip in the janitor's cupboard as he tried to recover from the recent fight with Angel in Nevada. It had not helped and despite his vamipiric healing abilities he still ached. He and Angel had to talk.
Spike strode purposefully up to the door of Angel's office and gave a gentle tap before opening the door and poking his head in.
---
"I'm bored" said Harmony.
She had only been sitting on the couch and reading the magazine for a couple of minutes but she was already feeling cooped up. She tried pacing but could still not get used to the big body she now inhabited. Then she had an idea for something that would make herself feel more at home. She marched over to the large Television that was a centrepiece of Angel's office.
---
Spike had seen a lot of things in his long un-life but the sight before him now was enough to burn out his eyeballs. The office was the same as usual and the TV was on, also not so strange. What was strange was that the TV was tuned to MTV and was playing one of those irritating Spice Girls videos at full volume. But what really took the biscuit in the strangeness stakes was the sight of Angel shaking his booty to the song in the middle of the room.
"I'll tell ya what I want what I rally really want" sung the Vampire with his back to the door.
What Spike thought was Angel stopped dead when he turned and saw the bleach blonde looking at him with a very perturbed expression.
"Girl power" said Spike.
---
"I never had you down as a disco bunny, until now" said Spike.
"I.. I.." mumbled Harmony through Angel's lips as she wondered how she would explain this to Angel.
"I knew about Manillow but this, there is only so far that tolerance can go" said Spike as a very broad smile spread across his face.
"Listen Spike...um...I'm not feeling myself today" said Harmony.
"Is that right Captain Forehead, why have you changed the habit of a lifetime" Spike said with a snigger.
Harmony was slow to get the reference but when she did she let out a girlish giggle which she tried to swallow back when she remembered that Spike thought he was talking to Angel.
Spike stood with his head tilted to one side as he tried to understand what exactly was wrong with Angel. Yes he was behaving strangely but he was always emotionally inconsistent and this time he seemed to have totally lost it.
"Blondie Be...cough..sorry.. Spike I think we need to have a talk" said Harmony.
"Oh yeah, what about?" asked Spike
"About Harmony"
"Why do we need to talk about that ditsy mare?"
"Ditsy what....No..I mean yes we need to keep the office dynamic good after our.. I mean your ...you know....thing the other day"
"Oh me shagging and knocking out the silly cow"
Harmony sighed and sat down with crossed legs on the couch, patting the cushion beside her to indicate that Spike should sit next to her.
Spike puzzled over whether he should accept the invitation or not but his curiosity got the better of him and he sauntered over and slung himself down next to what he thought was Angel. Spike sat back with his arm resting along the back of the couch and his legs spread wide in front of him.
Harmony turned and faced her ex. She tried very hard to keep her motions limited and to not be too expressive when she spoke.
"Listen Spike whatever has gone on between us..I mean you two in the past we have to be mature about it" she said.
"Okaaaay. Why don't you tell lava brain about it"
"Lava what?"
"Lava Brain you know Little Miss Serious Brain Harm"
Harmony wanted to smack Spike hard in the face but decided to try to be calm and conciliatory about it.
"We..I mean you two have to work on our..I mean your relationship" she said.
She leaned in closer to Spike and placed her hand on his thigh. Spike looked at Angel's hand and back up at his face before jumping out of the couch faster than a bullet.
"Hey what are you trying to say mate?" he said.
Harmony was having a lot of difficulty remembering that she was supposed to be Angel. She kept trying to get the mes and the yous correct but still slipped in to referring to herself as herself rather than as Harmony, another person.
"Look all I'm trying to say is after that time in the other lawyers office, I'd like to have a go...I mean.."
"Hey Angel Mate, this is getting a bit much ain't it. I know there was that once and you want to make things up since our punch up but you've got to know where to draw the line, alright"
"No I did not mean we should.....I meant you and Harm...what do you mean that once?"
Harmony stopped speaking as she watched Spike charge out of the office.
---
Angel strode confidently out of the library with a book under his arm convinced that he had found a solution to all his problems. He was heading towards his office when he saw Spike storming out and towards him.
---
Spike left Angel's office as quickly as he could, convinced that Angel had finally flipped. He saw Harmony approaching from the other side of the lobby. Feeling slightly challenged in the macho department following his recent uncomfortable chat with Angel Spike knew what he had to do.
"I'm all man me" he whispered under is breath.
As Harmony passed close to him Spike grabbed by the arm under which she was carrying the book and pulled her close to face him. Then with as much passion as he could muster he gave her a long forceful kiss. Spike felt the book under her arm drop and land on his foot. He did not flinch but kept pressing. Then with a flourish he let her go and headed towards the elevators.
"Always leave them wanting more" he shouted behind him as he left.
---
Angel stood in the middle of the lobby with the book by his feet and his mouth hanging open.
---
Angel and Harmony sat looking at each other across Angel's desk. It was about 10 minutes since Angel, then in Harmony's body, had charged back onto his office with a book under his arm. The book of ancient magic had laid out an easy chant to reverse the spell that had affected them. Surprisingly it had worked first time and they were now both settling back into their own bodies.
"So, um, what did Spike have to say" asked Angel.
A horrified Harmony looked back at Angel but stayed silent.
"I saw him leave here all agitated, what went on, I mean what did you do, I mean say to him?" asked Angel as he tried to remain nonchalant.
"I didn't touch him" blurted out Harmony.
Angel raised a horrified eyebrow.
"I mean, we didn't do, sorry say anything"
Angel's brow furrowed.
"Ok, so why did he.."
"Why did he what" said Harmony.
"Nothing" said Angel.
The End