At 7:00 the alarm went off all over Dimmsdale for kids who went to Dimmsdale Elementary School. Trixie woke up right when her alarm went off, as did Wanda. Cosmo was sleeping on top of Trixie's dresser, snoring. Instead of trying to wake him up, Wanda just raised her wand and Trixie was ready for school.

"Trixie!" her mom called, "Time for breakfast! I had your gigantic bodyguard run to the store overnight to get some food for your cats!"

"OK, Mom!" Trixie looked at Cosmo, "How do we wake him up?"

"Do you normally have bacon for breakfast?" Wanda asked

"Normally. Why?"

"Wait for it..." as the smell of the bacon slowly made its way from the dining room to Trixie's bedroom, Cosmo slowly began to wake up. When he finally got a full whiff of the bacon...

"Wha...huh?" he jumped up, "BACON! Canadian bacon nonetheless! Must...devour...artery-clogging...pork!" he charged downstairs, tripping down the stairs and landing face-first in his food dish. Trixie and Wanda came downstairs shortly after.

"Good morning, dear," her mom said after sipping her tea. Then she noticed something wet on her foot. The green cat was standing by her, drooling on her foot, "Uh..." she faked a smile, "Nice kitty...run along and eat..."

"Looks like he's begging, dear," Trixie's dad said.

"Um...go away? You're a cat, not a dog?" the cat barked.

"Try giving him some bacon, mom," Trixie suggested. Her mom took one piece of bacon and held it by the cat's face. He jumped up, grabbing the bacon in his teeth, and landed on the table, knocking over Mrs. Tang's tea and causing it to spill on her shirt. Then he went for the rest of the bacon, catching all of it in his teeth and knocking some other food on Mrs. Tang. He then went flying off the table, again landing in his food dish while the pink cat just ate quietly.

"If you'll excuse me," Trixie's mom stood up, "I will be in the shower, slipping slowly into insanity," she quietly got up, left the room, and next Trixie and her dad heard a loud scream.

"You'd better head down to the bus stop, Trixie," her dad checked his watch, "You'll be late for school. Your backpack's by the door."

"Thanks Dad," Trixie got up to leave.

"Oh, and Trixie," her dad added, "Would you like me to talk to your mom about all this 'you can't have comic books because we're first-class people' nonsense?"

"No thanks," Trixie winked, "I've got it all figured out," she headed to the door, Wanda followed her, and Cosmo just sat in his bowl eating bacon until he vanished in a puff of smoke and re-appeared as one of Trixie's bracelets.

"Huh? Where am I? And where's my bacon!?"

"Remember yesterday? She wished that when she was in disguise we were her watches and when she was at school or with friends we were her bracelets."

"But where's my bacon!?" Wanda sighed. When they got to the bus stop Trixie was greeted by Veronica, Tad, and Chad.

"New bracelets, Trixie?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah, I got them yesterday. My mom bought them for me."

"Wow. Normally, neon green totally clashes with pink, but since you're wearing it, it totally works out!" the bus came, and Veronica stayed behind the other popular kids long enough to yell, "WHY CAN'T I MAKE ANYTHING LOOK THAT GOOD!?" On the bus, everyone had already done their job of worshipping Trixie. She was sitting by herself today so no one could see her talking to her new bracelets or see what was hidden under her magazine; the fairy godparent rulebook.

"Wow. You're actually looking over the rules?" Cosmo asked.

"I've got a good idea of what wishes I know I'll want to make while you're around, so I thought I'd better make sure I won't break any rules."

"Wow! You really think things out more than T..." Cosmo's mouth became a zipper again.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" someone shouted on the road, and next a black van nearly knocked the school bus over.

"What the..."

"Oh, that's just Mr. Crazy's car!"

"Mr. Crazy?"

"Crocker," Wanda explained, "that's his hi-tech fairy detection van he spent every penny of his hard-earned teacher salary on! He uses it to try and track down fairies or fairy energy whenever he can. Fortunately, two fairy godparents don't give off enough energy to come through very strong on his scanners. You'd need either several fairies or Jorgen to set them off."

"I wonder if he has bacon?" Wanda sighed again.

---

"Well, class," Mr. Crocker began when class started, "seeing as how you're all absent-minded 10 and 11-year old children learning by reading through poorly-funded hand-me-down textbooks provided by the cheapskate school district, I don't suppose anyone remembers where we left off yesterday?" no one did, "What a surprise. Fortunately, I do! I was in the middle of humiliating Turner in front of all of you by comparing his miserable, second-class unpopular life to the first-class, NOT miserable, popular life of his classmate and crush, Ms. Tang! Well, seeing how it is still February, the school district continues to try and deny that Valentine's Day like all other holidays celebrated in America has been reduced to little more than commercialism. I'm supposed to initiate that project were we go around the room and say something nice about one of your fellow classmates," everyone started groaning, "Well, we won't be doing that! I have something far more painful and humiliating for all of you!" he ripped the white sheet off of something that had been sitting at the front of the classroom.

"ARGHH!" Timmy shrieked.

"This, students, was once my fairy detector chair! For this project, I have made some modifications to it," he pulled out a remote control, "now it is an incredibly painful lie detector! Each of you will come up, be strapped into this uncomfortable seat, and you will have to confess a deep, dark, horrible and/or humiliating secret about yourselves to the entire class! No doubt Ms. Tang and the rest of the popular crowd will spread that throughout Dimmsdale, reducing you all to complete laughingstocks! Like me!" Trixie looked guilty about that, "Only the popular children also must reveal an embarrassing secret! Now, you may ask what happens if you refuse, don't reveal your secret within ten seconds, or lie. Well, I'll simply push this button and electrocute you! If you're lucky, you'll survive! If you don't, I have tenure! Now, do I have any volunteers?" no one was raising their hands, so Crocker started to look around the room. His eyes fell on one person, "Sanjay! Beyond your glasses and friends you have nothing to prevent yourself from rising up into the popular crowd. Come to the front of the class, and prepare to be humiliated! Or electrocuted, if you prove uncooperative," he grabbed Sanjay, threw him in the chair, and strapped him in, "You have ten seconds!"

"B-B-But Meestah Crocker," Sanjay stammered, "is this legal?"

"Probably not! But what Principal Waxelplax and the poorly-trained police force of Dimmsdale don't know won't hurt me. Now speak!"

"Well...I...uh..."

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."

"I ONCE UNWITTINGLY AIDED IN THE ESCAPE OF A MASKED BANK ROBBER!!!" the entire class gasped.

"How horrifying! For you, that is!" Crocker threw Sanjay back in his desk, "Who's next?" AJ was chosen.

"Well, Mr. Crocker," AJ smirked, confident his brainpower could fool Crocker's machine, "I have no secrets to hide!" the alarm that showed he was lying went off, and he started to sweat.

"How unfortunate! Looks like you all will have your first chance to witness the power of my invention!" Crocker hit the button, and AJ was electrocuted in a blinding flash of blue-white light. He survived. "If you wish" Crocker said, "you may go down to the bathroom and chip off the dead skin!"

"Thank you Mr. Crocker," AJ slowly walked out of the room, leaving a trail of ashes. Trixie watched as Francis, Elmer, and some other kid were forced up and confessed a horrible secret about themselves out of fear. AJ came back into the classroom after the last kid, still looking like he was in pain. Trixie held her bracelets up to her mouth.

"Listen," she whispered, "I wish that if someone told a lie then the alarm wouldn't go off and Crocker would by it as fact," her wish was granted.

"Now who's next?" Crocker picked Tad.

"I have nothing embarrassing to tell about myself. Popular rich kids like me don't do anything embarrassing or horrible," it was a lie, but the alarm didn't go off.

"Well, Tad, I have good news and bad news! The good news is, your fellow classmates can't mock and/or loathe you due to something embarrassing about yourself! The bad news is, since you still didn't tell us anything, you get electrocuted anyway!" he hit the button, and Tad soon was heading to the bathroom to chip off dead skin, "Turner! For your sake I hope you have a humiliating secret!" Timmy was strapped in.

"Why are you doing this to us!?" Timmy demanded.

"WHY!? There's a very simple and logical explanation to your question, Turner. If I have to be a second-rate, constantly mocked elementary school teacher, then I am determined to fill all your lives with as much pain as my own, physically and emotionally! And you used up your ten seconds. Say farewell to your epidermis!" Crocker prepared to hit the button when Trixie held her bracelets up again.

"I wish that the chair was gone, no one remembered this project or the things people were forced to say about themselves, and that the kids who were electrocuted were fully recovered!" she said quickly. Cosmo and Wanda granted her wish just before Crocker hit the button.

"Huh? What an incredibly eerie sensation!" Crocker remarked after the wish happened, "I have the feeling I was just in the middle of a project that was incredibly painful and humiliating for all of you when all of us suddenly forgot all about it!" he shrugged, "Just stare at the board until the lunch bell rings."

---

At lunch, Timmy was sitting with his friends as always. Chester had brought all of his news reporter supplies.

"So Timmy," he pulled out his notepad and pen, "What deep, dark, horrible and/or humiliating secrets did you uncover about Trixie?"

"Uh," Timmy stammered, "I...couldn't do it. My dad found where I had stashed my stuff and used it to modify his...giant fighting robot car?" he smiled nervously.

"DRAT!" Chester slammed the table as Timmy breathed a sigh of relief, "can you get that stuff again, Timmy?"

"Uh, not for six months."

"Darn it! Wait a minute," Chester grabbed Timmy by his shirt collar, "I have an idea! March up to Trixie, say you know her secret, and will tell everybody unless she dates you!"

"But I don't know any secrets about her!" Timmy lied.

"Yeah, but does she know that? You can find out what they really are in six months!"

"I dunno..."

"I'll help you do it!" Chester dragged Timmy over by the popular table and started to get all serious, "Alright, Trixie! No more games! Timmy's on to you! He knows all about your secret! And he's going to tell everybody in school unless you be his girlfriend!" the other popular kids looked at Trixie, who shrugged and looked at Timmy. Timmy just smiled back nervously and started sweating. The bodyguard for the popular kids walked out in front of Chester and Timmy.

"And just what would that secret be?" he asked, cracking his knuckles.

"Uh..." the two friends said together. The bodyguard grabbed them, and as he prepared to punch them all the popular kids smiled. The faces on Trixie's new bracelets didn't seem to happy with Trixie though. Keeping her smile, Trixie moved her hand up to move some hair out of her eyes, but while she had her hand up she whispered to her bracelets so no one could hear.

"I wish Chester and Timmy could get away from the bodyguard and he wouldn't be able to hurt them over this," the bracelets were now smiling and raised their wands. Timmy and Chester were suddenly able slip out of the bodyguard's fist and escape from the cafeteria. The guard chased after them, but he slipped on a banana peel and crashed to the ground.

"I hate cartoon clichés," he muttered.

---

At home, Trixie had finished her homework already and was looking through Da Rules.

"I've got to say, I'm proud of you, Trixie," Wanda said, "every wish you've made today you made it to help someone!"

"Well, now that you're here I feel like I can finally make amends to everyone I've been cruel to just so I can keep up my image to satisfy my mother," she started to get depressed, "and as these rules seem to indicate, a lot of things I want to wish for I can't."

"Whaddaya mean?" asked Cosmo.

"You know how I said I'd like to meet friends who accept me for who I am and all that stuff?"

"Yeah..."

"Well according to Section 2, I can't wish for friends like that!"

"Well Trixie," Wanda said, "why don't you just try and meet people like that?"

"My mom! She only wants me around popular kids! She'd never let me go out and try and meet new people! And I don't know anyone at school besides the other popular kids that well!"

"True, she wouldn't let you go out," Wanda got a sly grin, "but haven't you been going out in disguise and getting all those things your mom won't let you have for five years? Why not try meeting people in disguise?"

"Yeah!" Cosmo said, "It worked for T..." his mouth became a zipper again. Trixie slapped her forehead.

"Of course! I've been lonely and without a real friend for the past five years when I could've done that the whole time? Thanks, Wanda! Wait...I've got it!"

"Got what?"

"Starting tomorrow I'll be going out in disguise to observe the other kids at school," she explained, "to try and figure out who is your real godchild! I forgot all about it today. While I'm doing that I can also find out more about my classmates, then in the same disguise I can meet new friends!"

"Hey, that'll work out pretty well!"

"Yeah! As long as one of us doesn't become a parrot and act so stupid that we end up telling all of that to your mom or the popular kids!" Trixie and Wanda stared at him, "What?"

"I wish he couldn't turn into a parrot," Trixie said.

"No problem," Wanda granted the wish. Cosmo tried turning into a parrot, but he became a duck. He tried again, and he became a dodo. As he kept becoming all types of birds besides a parrot, he started screaming.

"I WANNA BE A PARROT!" he kept trying as Trixie and Wanda went back to the rulebook.