Disclaimer: No. It isn't mine. Are you happy now?
Author's Note: I received a great review for the first chapter of 'She Will Be Loved', and now I'm doing a sequel chapter… so wish me luck! It is 6:10 in the morning, and I just cannot sleep… I think I got a total of two hour's sleep… I role-played 'til midnight and then I watched TV in bed… and I fell asleep during three TV shows. Nods This next chapter is a separate story, but the people in charge here would prefer if I just added a chapter… but it IS a separate story.
Dedication: Lysa-uk, this is for you… expect the happiness and even some bunnies! Well, maybe not… but still! Happiness galore!
Must Get Out
I've been the needle and the thread
Weaving figure eights and circles 'round your head
I try to laugh but cry instead
Patiently wait the words you've never said
Xander Harris made up his mind that he needed Willow Rosenberg. His head was still resting on his pillow, his eyes closed, but his subconscious told him he needed the redhead his life had been spent with already. But in a certain change of events, Willow had fallen for Kennedy, a potential slayer, sending Xander into a near depression. He tossed and turned, and eventually woke up, staring wearily up at his ceiling, doused in his cold sweat. He simply could not sleep. But that was not new for Xander, he had been living on a few hour's sleep for weeks on end, he could keep going that way until he spiraled downwards into oblivion and died from this ache and lack of sleep that was taking over him.
Nonetheless, Xander kept his wits about him, went to work, paid the bills, talked to Buffy and Giles, yet avoiding one-on-one contact with Willow. He hated doing so, ignoring his best friend, but he found he had no choice but to, so whenever they were alone, he bolted. Xander blinked his eyes a few times and rubbed the sleep out of them, feeling around for his alarm clock on his bedside table… he got the clock and pulled it in front of his eyes, distancing it to make it readable. Five 'o clock in the morning. Great.
Xander got out of bed and pulled on a robe over his striped pajamas, putting his feet into the navy slippers Willow got him a few years back for Christmas. In return, he had given her a locket and a Snoopy dance. Xander laughed at the memory while pouring himself some Frosted Flakes and starting the coffee maker. He flopped down on his couch, where he had spent his time in excess lately. He ate the bowl of flakes and the coffee maker beeped. Xander got a mug from the cabinet and poured the black liquid into it, staring into the depths of the cup as he added sugar, two packets, and then poured his cream. He stirred.
Maybe it was those damned aliens. They had infested his mind… taken over his thoughts… crept into his coffee… he spit it out all over the counter.
"Oh! Bad! Bad, bad, very bad! Aliens in my coffee!" He took a handful of napkins and began scrubbing the mess, making it worse, and grabbing a towel, laying it on the soon-to-be stain as it fell off the counter and seeped into the carpet. He sighed, just another stain in the boring Berber floor covering. Xander looked out the window, debating whether or not he should drink the diseased coffee. His mind was troubled enough as it is, and now Martians were in his breakfast…
Ah, the irony of life.
Fumbling through your dresser drawer
Forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you cry
Work that day was anything but chaotic, the normal procedure of construction continuing throughout Xander's day was simple. He ran into a vampire and managed to back it into a piece of wood sticking out of a half-burned building. When that ensued Xander was frightened, as usual. Even though it was a normal occurrence by now, it was still scary, because no matter how many times something happens, like death, per se, it is still terrifying when it does transpire. Xander left work early that day, feigning illness, a talent he took pride in from highschool.
He went home and found a note taped to his door. The handwriting was overly familiar.
Xander- it isn't goodbye. You swore you would never let me go. Why would you? You know I need you.
It was stained in fresh tears, immediately Xander knew who the letter was from, and he froze, dropping the letter, his wallet, and his keys to the ground. Should he go? I thought she loved Kennedy, Xander pondered to himself. She doesn't love me like that… a quick glance to the note …or does she? Xander picked his things up, unlocked his door, and dumped his stuff on the ground inside his apartment and began running, the weather hot and sticky and humid. But his doubts got the best of him and he turned right back around and went home.
- - -
Willow was the only waking life in the Summers' Residence the next morning, and she made use of the time to clear her head. The silence of the sleeping house pressed so hard against her ears that she could not hear a thing, and she became extremely disturbed by her temporary deafness, and ran outside. Little did she know, she was not the only Scooby awake. Maybe the only in her house, but not the only one of the Gang suffering from early morning insomnia.
She looked down at herself, and then up to the sky. What had she done for her life to be this confused and bad? Well, not all bad. But everything came at an extreme price. Willow began to worry if she had enough now to pay the price of what she had. The sun began to rise as she deliberated, sending light to every drop of dew, every fallen autumn leaf, every feather on every bird's wings, every blade of grass covered in the morning's tears. Willow stood up and began to walk barefoot towards Xander's. She was determined to make this work.
I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing 'til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy and we must get out
This is not goodbye she said
It is just time for me to rest my head
She does not walk she runs instead
Down these jagged streets and into my bed
Willow's feet patted the ground as she ran as fast as she could ever remember running, quicker than when she was required to do track, quicker than if running for her life. But, in a way, she was running for her life; her love. She ran through the apartment gates, jumping over a few hedges like they were hurtles, and running in the complex and up the stairs, to Xander's place. And she knocked on the door. And door was opened. It was Xander.
She fell into his arms and sobbed into his shoulder, and Xander patted her hair and her back and before he knew it she was kissing him and he was going crazy, knee deep in his love for her, drowning in this shower of adoration. He kissed the top of her head and she looked up at him and started laughing.
"I love you Xander Harris… aliens and all."
"Aww - ALIENS! Aha! You admit they're there! They're in my head!"
"Oh, Xand… don't get all ruin-y on me. You know that I'm only kidding."
"Of course I do. I was just being all full of surprises. It makes me more lovable and man-like."
"I don't know if you could be any more lovable, Xander."
"I bet I could."
"Whatever you say. But I couldn't, you know, love you anymore than I do now."
"You sure?"
"Yes," she said, kissing him on the cheek and hugging him tightly, "I heart you, Xander."
When I was fumbling through your dresser drawer
Forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you cry
"And I do too. To you, of course." Xander whispered, holding her and rocking steadily on his feet, his lips pressed to her ear.
"I would know that you implied that my way and not towards you in self-arrogance."
"I like it when you talk funny with big words," he flashed one of his Xander-like smiles and put her at an arms' length from himself.
"I like it when you talk. You talk funny, too. And I like it when you're all worried about your aliens." Willow stated matter-of-factly, nodding her head. Xander laughed and licked his lips. And in unison, they whispered to each other,
"I like you."
I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing 'til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy and we must get out
There's only so much I can do for you
After all of the things you've put me through