Disclaimer- I don't own any of the characters of Harry Potter but Draco ONWARD SLAVE!!! (THIS IS A JOKE FOR ALL YOU LITTLE LOSERS OUT THERE THAT CAN'T TELL! I DO NOT OWN DRACO MALFOY! I REPEAT, I DO NOT OWN HIM EITHER!)

A/N- I'm really sorry it took me such a long time to get this out. Evil parentses grounded us from the Internet. The Internet is our friend, our friend!

You don't have any friends; nobody likes you!

NOT LISTENING IM NOT LISTINING!

You're lire and a thief!

IT WAS ONLY ONE CHERRY!

MURDERER!

BUT NOBODY LIKED HIM ANYWAY!!!
For anyone that didn't see LOTR The Two Towers, that probably made no sense whatsoever, but you'll get over it

"Well that was easy!" Fadey whispered as she and Draco tiptoed down the hallway. Not only had Harry handed over the money in an instant, he also lent the pair the invisibility cloak for the night.

"Oww! That was my foot!" Draco whined. It was common knowledge to Fadey that Draco was completely terrified of Filtch and even more of Mrs. Norris, so she took this very rare opportunity to point that out.

"Hey, Draco? If you're so terrified of Filtch and Mrs. Norris, you should probably shut up." Draco shuddered.

"Oh, right." The two slogged down the corridors like a strangely shaped sloth. When they finally reached the one-eyed witch, Fadey took out her wand and muttered "Dissendiem" (a/n sorry if this is wrong. I don't have the book handy to check the spell) and the couple hopped into the passage.

"FINALLY! We can TALK!" Fadey screamed in her usual way. She skipped and frolicked down the passage as Draco ran to keep up.

"Slow…down…" Draco panted.

"You're just too slow for my liking…HURRY UP LOSER!" And with that she broke into a sprint.

About an hour later, Fadey sat at the end of the tunnel in an armchair, newspaper in hand, sat up. A fake beard was swinging from her chin.

"Finally you pansy." She said, laughing. Fadey waved her wand and all of the strange items dissolved into thin air. Unfortunately, that also included Draco "Whoops." She waved her wand yet again and he reappeared.

"God, you need help"

"Thank you. I do what I can" The pair waltzed down the passageway.

"My gift is my song and this one's for you
And you can tell everybody that this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
Hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

I sat on the roof and I kicked off the moss
Well some of the verses well, they...they got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see, I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world"

Fadey finished off the song and blundered back down into her seat. She had just finished off another show-stopping number from Moulin Rouge. In a bar. A non-kareoki bar. She was unmistakably drunk, and was about to barf from too much alcohol.

"DUDE THAT WAS AWESOME!! MORE FIREWISKEY!"

"No, no now it's MY TURN!" Screamed Draco. He made his way over to the front of the room, knocking over many mugs as he went, making the owners very, erm… angry.

The French are glad to die for Love...
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat or help you feed your mmm pussycat
Men grow cold as girls grow old and we all lose our charms in the end
But square-cut or pear-shaped these rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend...Tiffany's...Cartier...
Cause we're living in a material world and I am a material girl
Come and get me boys!
Black Star, Roscor! Talk to me, Harry Zidler, tell me all about it!
There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer thinks you're
Awful nice
But get that ice or else no dice
He's your guy when stocks are high, but beware when they start to descend
Diamonds are a girl's best, Diamonds are a girl's best, Diamonds are a girl's best, Diamonds are a girl's best friend
Cause that's when those louses go back to their spouses, Diamonds are a girl's best friend

He took a large bow and sauntered back to their table.

"MEED! WE NEED MEED!" He screamed, then fainted.

"YOU DID WHAT?!?" Fadey had had to walk all the way back to the castle, Draco hanging from her shoulder. After she arrived, she took him straight to the Gryffindor common room, just to meet Hermione.

"Hehehe… It was only a bit of fun," Fadey replied weakly.

"Well I guess you can stay here for the night, but you had better have learned your lesson."

"I have. Whenever you get drunk, always have a designated driver!"

A/N- I don't know. This one wasn't as good as the other ones that I've written. Oh well. Is this as long as y'all want it? Can you tell that I'm not British? IDEAS PLEASE! REVIEW