Tired
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, though it would be cool if I did.
Spoilers: Slight, and I mean SLIGHT, spoilers for Bait.
Pairings: Martin/Sam and I guess a little Jack/Sam
Summary: She was tired, so very tired.
"Here's to us, the best team the Missing Person's unit has ever seen," Danny Taylor said, raising his bottle of water above the table, and making a toast to the rest of his colleagues.
They all raised their glasses and clinked them together before taking a sip. Sam swallowed a small sip of her cosmopolitan and she looked around at the team, minus Jack. To her left was Danny, across from her was Viv, and to her right was her sort-of boyfriend, Martin. The team had just solved a particularly difficult quadruple kidnapping in which a deranged ex- wife had taken her ex-husband and their three kids. They got everyone back safe and sound and the woman was put in jail.
And it was the moments when the families were reunited that almost made it worth it; worth all the 4:00 am late nights, worth all the sleepless weeks, worth the pain of not getting to them in time and worth watching families unravel. It was almost worth it...almost.
After laughs and a few more drinks, Vivian checked her watch and announced that she needed to leave, seeing as she had a husband and kid at home; a husband who was not cheating on her with another woman, a family whose job's had not torn them apart. Sam slapped herself mentally and told herself to forget it; because even though she was talking about Viv, she knew what was at the back of her mind, and it made her feel extremely guilty when seconds later Martin leaned in close to her ear and asked if she wanted to go, too.
She snapped herself out of her guilt-ridden reverie and said that she and Martin should be getting home too. She downed the rest of her pink- colored drink and stood up, grabbing her coat but not putting it on, seeing as the weather was at a comfortable 65 degrees outside. She asked Danny if he was leaving, too, and he said no, he wanted to stay and relax a little while longer. She said goodbye and her and Martin turned to go, his hand finding the small of her back. her guilt-ridden conscience went off again as she imagined that it was not Martin, but someone else with his hand there.
Danny must have seen her tense up at the contact from Martin's hand, because he suddenly said, "Hey, Sam, could I talk to you a minute?" Sam turned to Martin.
"I'll be right out, okay?" she said, and turned back to Danny, not giving Martin any time to debate, even though she knew he wouldn't have. She walked back over to the table she left just seconds before and rested her hands on the back of her chair.
"What's up?" she asked, a little unsure about the look in Danny's eyes.
"You know I love you like a sister, right?" he asked, his finger tracing the rim of his water bottle, his eyes not meeting hers.
"Um, yeah," she said, and she pulled the chair out and sat herself down, sensing that this would end up being a 'you might want to sit down for this' type of conversation.
Danny took a deep breath as if working up the nerve to say what was on his mind. Suddenly his hand stopped tracing the rim of the bottle and his head jutted up sharply so his eyes met hers. "What you're doing to Martin, it's not fair," he said, his eyes softening as he realized that his words came out sharper then he had intended them too.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, and Danny just might have believed that she didn't know what he was talking about, if it wasn't for the hitch in her voice and the ragged breath she let out afterwards.
"You know what I'm talking about," he said, and he didn't say it meanly. He hadn't intended this conversation to chastise Samantha, he really was talking to her because he cared about her, and Martin. "You're leading Martin on, and it's not fair...to either of you."
"How can you say that?" she asked, her voice calm and collected, but she was no longer meeting his eyes, "I really care about Martin, and you know that."
"I never said you didn't care about him, I'm just saying that I know you don't care about him in that way," he said, trying not to sound hostile.
"You have no clue how I feel, Danny," she said, getting defensive now, and a little bit angry. When her eyes finally met his, they were somewhat colder, more distant.
"You want to hear my theory? I have a few of them," he said, not backing down. He told himself he was going to talk to her, and now he had to keep that promise. He didn't give her a second to retort, just kept on going. "I think that maybe you feel small, and Martin makes you feel better, maybe you're looking for someone to fill the void, because Jack left you and took a part of you with him."
Her eyes looked up sharply, and he saw a mixture of hurt and anger in them, "Do not make this about Jack," she growled in a low voice. As he went to continue, he realized that he had hit a nerve.
"Maybe you want someone to give you what you need, maybe you don't want to get hurt, and you know Martin will never hurt you - "
He was cut off by Sam's voice, filled with emotion. "Or maybe I'm tired. Tired of going home to an empty, silent apartment, tired of Jack avoiding me, tired of the sympathetic stares from you and Viv, tired of not being wanted, tired of feeling like I'm nothing," she said, her voice growing louder and sharper with each tired, and her eyes prickling with so many unshed tears, tears that she had kept in since her accident, that she could barely make out Danny's face. "The last thing I need is you questioning my intentions with Martin, because you know nothing about my life, about how I feel, so you have no right to call me on all the ways that I'm not perfect, because maybe, just maybe," she said, her voice dropping to a gentle soft, just above a whisper voice. Her breath hitched and she felt a single tear roll down her cheek, which she knew was the sign that the floodgates would soon be open, "I'm tired of being alone."
She left him, sitting there, and she practically ran out of the building before going around to the side of the bar. She slid down the wall and she cried. She cried for Martin, because she knew she was leading him on, she cried for Danny, because she knew he was right, she cried for Jack, for taking her heart and then breaking her heart, and she cried for herself for becoming so dependent on something that it left her alone, on the side of a building, crying at two in the morning.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, though it would be cool if I did.
Spoilers: Slight, and I mean SLIGHT, spoilers for Bait.
Pairings: Martin/Sam and I guess a little Jack/Sam
Summary: She was tired, so very tired.
"Here's to us, the best team the Missing Person's unit has ever seen," Danny Taylor said, raising his bottle of water above the table, and making a toast to the rest of his colleagues.
They all raised their glasses and clinked them together before taking a sip. Sam swallowed a small sip of her cosmopolitan and she looked around at the team, minus Jack. To her left was Danny, across from her was Viv, and to her right was her sort-of boyfriend, Martin. The team had just solved a particularly difficult quadruple kidnapping in which a deranged ex- wife had taken her ex-husband and their three kids. They got everyone back safe and sound and the woman was put in jail.
And it was the moments when the families were reunited that almost made it worth it; worth all the 4:00 am late nights, worth all the sleepless weeks, worth the pain of not getting to them in time and worth watching families unravel. It was almost worth it...almost.
After laughs and a few more drinks, Vivian checked her watch and announced that she needed to leave, seeing as she had a husband and kid at home; a husband who was not cheating on her with another woman, a family whose job's had not torn them apart. Sam slapped herself mentally and told herself to forget it; because even though she was talking about Viv, she knew what was at the back of her mind, and it made her feel extremely guilty when seconds later Martin leaned in close to her ear and asked if she wanted to go, too.
She snapped herself out of her guilt-ridden reverie and said that she and Martin should be getting home too. She downed the rest of her pink- colored drink and stood up, grabbing her coat but not putting it on, seeing as the weather was at a comfortable 65 degrees outside. She asked Danny if he was leaving, too, and he said no, he wanted to stay and relax a little while longer. She said goodbye and her and Martin turned to go, his hand finding the small of her back. her guilt-ridden conscience went off again as she imagined that it was not Martin, but someone else with his hand there.
Danny must have seen her tense up at the contact from Martin's hand, because he suddenly said, "Hey, Sam, could I talk to you a minute?" Sam turned to Martin.
"I'll be right out, okay?" she said, and turned back to Danny, not giving Martin any time to debate, even though she knew he wouldn't have. She walked back over to the table she left just seconds before and rested her hands on the back of her chair.
"What's up?" she asked, a little unsure about the look in Danny's eyes.
"You know I love you like a sister, right?" he asked, his finger tracing the rim of his water bottle, his eyes not meeting hers.
"Um, yeah," she said, and she pulled the chair out and sat herself down, sensing that this would end up being a 'you might want to sit down for this' type of conversation.
Danny took a deep breath as if working up the nerve to say what was on his mind. Suddenly his hand stopped tracing the rim of the bottle and his head jutted up sharply so his eyes met hers. "What you're doing to Martin, it's not fair," he said, his eyes softening as he realized that his words came out sharper then he had intended them too.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, and Danny just might have believed that she didn't know what he was talking about, if it wasn't for the hitch in her voice and the ragged breath she let out afterwards.
"You know what I'm talking about," he said, and he didn't say it meanly. He hadn't intended this conversation to chastise Samantha, he really was talking to her because he cared about her, and Martin. "You're leading Martin on, and it's not fair...to either of you."
"How can you say that?" she asked, her voice calm and collected, but she was no longer meeting his eyes, "I really care about Martin, and you know that."
"I never said you didn't care about him, I'm just saying that I know you don't care about him in that way," he said, trying not to sound hostile.
"You have no clue how I feel, Danny," she said, getting defensive now, and a little bit angry. When her eyes finally met his, they were somewhat colder, more distant.
"You want to hear my theory? I have a few of them," he said, not backing down. He told himself he was going to talk to her, and now he had to keep that promise. He didn't give her a second to retort, just kept on going. "I think that maybe you feel small, and Martin makes you feel better, maybe you're looking for someone to fill the void, because Jack left you and took a part of you with him."
Her eyes looked up sharply, and he saw a mixture of hurt and anger in them, "Do not make this about Jack," she growled in a low voice. As he went to continue, he realized that he had hit a nerve.
"Maybe you want someone to give you what you need, maybe you don't want to get hurt, and you know Martin will never hurt you - "
He was cut off by Sam's voice, filled with emotion. "Or maybe I'm tired. Tired of going home to an empty, silent apartment, tired of Jack avoiding me, tired of the sympathetic stares from you and Viv, tired of not being wanted, tired of feeling like I'm nothing," she said, her voice growing louder and sharper with each tired, and her eyes prickling with so many unshed tears, tears that she had kept in since her accident, that she could barely make out Danny's face. "The last thing I need is you questioning my intentions with Martin, because you know nothing about my life, about how I feel, so you have no right to call me on all the ways that I'm not perfect, because maybe, just maybe," she said, her voice dropping to a gentle soft, just above a whisper voice. Her breath hitched and she felt a single tear roll down her cheek, which she knew was the sign that the floodgates would soon be open, "I'm tired of being alone."
She left him, sitting there, and she practically ran out of the building before going around to the side of the bar. She slid down the wall and she cried. She cried for Martin, because she knew she was leading him on, she cried for Danny, because she knew he was right, she cried for Jack, for taking her heart and then breaking her heart, and she cried for herself for becoming so dependent on something that it left her alone, on the side of a building, crying at two in the morning.