Sue de Nime: THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME REMUS'S MIDDLE NAME! I WAS DYING TO
KNOW! now that you mention it, I think I knew that already, tho. heehee
A/N: ok, I tried to hold off until next weekend, like I said I was going to, but I couldn't stay away. Plus, I've been getting reviews from people that seem a little, oh I dunno, upset, maybe? lol – I love my evil self.
Chapter Seventeen – Crying
-Remus P.O.V.-
"Sir, he hasn't stopped crying yet. It's been three nights."
"Alas, he'll have to endure the emotional pain for awhile."
"Isn't there anything we can do?"
"I'm afraid there isn't, not unless we can change the past . . ."
-Rozlyn's P.O.V.-
"What's happening to her? What the hell is happening to her!?"
"Professor Dumbledore said she needs time – "
"She hasn't said a goddamn word for three days, Roland! When I was a girl, I was never this upset over a boy."
"Rozlyn isn't you, Carla."
"That's besides the point, Roland! She's not eating! I don't even think she's sleeping! Whenever, I go in her room to check on her, she just sits there staring at the wall. Normal children do not sit and stare at walls for hours on end – "
"WELL, SHE'S NOT NORMAL ANYMORE! IS SHE, CARLA!?"
-Remus P.O.V.-
"Remus? Dear? You may go back to your dorm now, if you wish. I think you might feel better sleeping in your own bed," Madam Pomphrey said, tentatively. "You might want to clean up a little bit before you leave . . ."
Wordlessly, Remus stood up and left the hospital wing, not even bothering to wipe the tears from his cheeks, or say anything to Madam Pomphrey. Really, what did he care if anyone saw him crying, now? What the bloody hell were they going to do? Hex him for shedding a few tears?
Remus walked to the common room, barely noticing where he was going. He would've walked directly into the portrait had it not opened revealing a sad, looking Lily Evans. She saw him and her eyes went wide.
"Remus – "she started to say, but he just walked past her.
He entered the common room, and everyone went quiet. Remus ignored them all and continued up the stairs toward his dorm. No doubt they all knew that Rozlyn had left because of him.
He pulled open the door to the Marauders dorm room and stepped inside, coming face-to-face with James and Sirius.
"Moony . . ." James whispered, staring into Remus's eyes.
Sirius looked up at the doorway and tried to smile, unsuccessfully. "We missed you, buddy," he said, obviously disturbed by Remus's blank face expression.
Remus closed the door behind him, and sank onto the floor, leaning against it. He felt so drained, so devoid of life.
And still the tears ran on.
-Rozlyn P.O.V.-
She was empty. There were no bubbles. No clouds. It was just her, and she was alone. All alone and empty. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't see. She was lifeless. A shell, an empty vessel of nothingness.
She stared at the wall. It was just like her.
Blank and staring, it was just like her.
-Remus P.O.V.-
They didn't know what to say to him. Remus understood. If they were in his predicament, he wouldn't know what to say to them, either. A knock sounded at the door, making him jump. After all, he was sitting right in front of it.
He stood up and moved, motioning to James to get the door. Lily was on the other side. James got up and opened the door, sticking only his head out. "Evans. What do you want?"
"I want to see how Remus is doing," she said softly. "Is he okay?"
"What do you think?" James sighed.
"Can I see him?" Lily asked.
James was silent for a moment. "I don't think – "
Lily suddenly pulled open the door, catching James off guard, so that he almost fell over. Then she sidestepped him and ran into Remus's arms. Remus was stunned.
"Go ahead and cry," she whispered, hugging him tightly. "My mother once told me that crying is an emptying of all the pain in a soul. So if you have to cry, then go ahead and cry. It's okay."
James and Sirius looked at each other openmouthed, then stared at Lily, equal amounts of bewilderment on their faces.
Remus took a deep breath. "I-I'm – "
Lily suddenly squeezed him tighter. "And don't tell me you're okay! Because you're not, Remus, you're not!"
"Lil – "
"Shut up, Remus! Just cry already!" Lily practically demanded.
He pulled her away from him and stared. Lily's eyes were red and tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Dammit! Why are you so stupid, Remus!?" she exclaimed. Her face was bright red. "Can't you cry for her!? Can't you even cry for her!? She's gone, you idiot! She's gone and she's not coming back! Why can't you just express your pain!? You stupid idiot! Why can't you express your - !?" She gave way to sobs and collapsed to the floor, her hands over her face. Her shoulders were shaking and she was mumbling. "Soul mates," she was saying. "You guys are soul mates."
Suddenly, James swept across the room and pulled her into a hug. She cried into his chest. Sirius stood around uncomfortably, and Remus just stared.
"You're right," he said softly.
Everyone turned and stared at him. He was standing in the doorway, where Lily had been a few seconds earlier.
"I am an idiot," he whispered. "Because . . . because I love her . . . and I can't – I can't let her go like this."
Without a warning, he darted forward, slid under James's bed, grabbed his friend's broomstick, then dashed out of the room.
"Hey!" James shouted from his spot next to Lily on the floor.
"Moony! Where are you going!?" Sirius said, jumping up and flinging himself into the hallway. "Where are you going!?" he repeated, a note of fear present in his voice.
Remus stopped, one foot on the stairs. He turned back and smiled a very sad looking smile. "Tell Dumbledore . . . if he wants to expel me . . . he'll have to wait until I come back."
"But where are you going!?" Sirius demanded again.
Remus just smiled again. Then he disappeared down the stairs without a second glance.
(A/N: come on. where do you think he's going?)
-Rozlyn P.O.V.-
"Rozlyn, we need to talk to you," her mother said, sitting at the edge of her bed.
"You don't have to say anything. Just listen," her father said. He had one hand behind his back.
Rozlyn stared at him, then at her mother. Her mother gave her a sad smile.
"Honey, we know this has been a most painful ordeal for you," her mother began. "And we know there's nothing we can say that can make it better."
"Your mother and I have been seriously worried about you. You may not think so, but we have, and we'd like to put that behind us. All of it. The worrying, the crying, the tears . . . We'd like to forget it. Forever."
"And we'd like to believe that you wouldn't have any objections to forget about it, either," her mother said, softly. "Wouldn't you like that, honey? You could forget about fifth year, and everything that's happened to you."
"You could forget about that boy," her father said, harshly. "You could forget all this pain . . . everything. Forget about it all. Forever."
Rozlyn stared at them. What were they talking about? How could she forget everything? How could she just - ?
That's when it hit her. Memory Charm. They were going to blast her with a memory charm. She wouldn't remember a thing . . . She wouldn't remember Remus John Lupin . . . or anything.
She wouldn't remember her werewolf.
"NO!" she screamed. "NO!"
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her father motion to her mother. Her mother suddenly grabbed the back of her arms and held them down. She tried to twist away, but her mother was no elderly woman.
"Now, Roland!"
"NO!" Rozlyn screamed. "NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! NO! I WON'T FORGET! I'LL NEVER FORGET! I CAN'T!"
"We're sorry, sweetheart," her father said, sadly. "We tried to make it your choice, but . . ." He shrugged, and raised his wand.
"NO!"
All of a sudden, there was a crash behind them. Rozlyn heard her mother scream. Her arms were released, and her father lowered his wand in shock.
Rozlyn spun around and stared.
Remus was on a broomstick, hovering outside her bedroom window.
"Rozlyn! Come with me!" he cried, holding out a hand. "Come with me!"
She really didn't need to be told twice. Heart hammering, she ran for the window.
"No! Rozlyn, I forbid you to go! I forbid you to go with him!" her mother cried.
Rozlyn hoisted herself out of the window. Remus pulled her onto the broomstick.
"If you go, I disown you!" her father cried. "If you leave with him, you're no longer a Jenkins!"
Rozlyn stared into the window. Her mother was on the ground, holding out a hand to her daughter. "Rozlyn . . . please . . ." she whimpered.
"I'm sorry, Mother . . . Father," Rozlyn whispered. "Goodbye."
She grabbed her werewolf tightly around the waist and tried to drown out the sound of her mother's sobs as they flew away together, into the night.
~Crying is an emptying of all the pain in a soul~
^_~
Oh, come on. Did you really think I'd keep them away from each other? Haha! Hey, I came up with that saying all by myself! I love it. "Crying is an emptying of all the pain in a soul." It's so poetic, and romantic, too, I think. Or maybe I'm just bragging. heehee. Anyways, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! PLEASE, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF THIS!
Ariana S.
A/N: ok, I tried to hold off until next weekend, like I said I was going to, but I couldn't stay away. Plus, I've been getting reviews from people that seem a little, oh I dunno, upset, maybe? lol – I love my evil self.
Chapter Seventeen – Crying
-Remus P.O.V.-
"Sir, he hasn't stopped crying yet. It's been three nights."
"Alas, he'll have to endure the emotional pain for awhile."
"Isn't there anything we can do?"
"I'm afraid there isn't, not unless we can change the past . . ."
-Rozlyn's P.O.V.-
"What's happening to her? What the hell is happening to her!?"
"Professor Dumbledore said she needs time – "
"She hasn't said a goddamn word for three days, Roland! When I was a girl, I was never this upset over a boy."
"Rozlyn isn't you, Carla."
"That's besides the point, Roland! She's not eating! I don't even think she's sleeping! Whenever, I go in her room to check on her, she just sits there staring at the wall. Normal children do not sit and stare at walls for hours on end – "
"WELL, SHE'S NOT NORMAL ANYMORE! IS SHE, CARLA!?"
-Remus P.O.V.-
"Remus? Dear? You may go back to your dorm now, if you wish. I think you might feel better sleeping in your own bed," Madam Pomphrey said, tentatively. "You might want to clean up a little bit before you leave . . ."
Wordlessly, Remus stood up and left the hospital wing, not even bothering to wipe the tears from his cheeks, or say anything to Madam Pomphrey. Really, what did he care if anyone saw him crying, now? What the bloody hell were they going to do? Hex him for shedding a few tears?
Remus walked to the common room, barely noticing where he was going. He would've walked directly into the portrait had it not opened revealing a sad, looking Lily Evans. She saw him and her eyes went wide.
"Remus – "she started to say, but he just walked past her.
He entered the common room, and everyone went quiet. Remus ignored them all and continued up the stairs toward his dorm. No doubt they all knew that Rozlyn had left because of him.
He pulled open the door to the Marauders dorm room and stepped inside, coming face-to-face with James and Sirius.
"Moony . . ." James whispered, staring into Remus's eyes.
Sirius looked up at the doorway and tried to smile, unsuccessfully. "We missed you, buddy," he said, obviously disturbed by Remus's blank face expression.
Remus closed the door behind him, and sank onto the floor, leaning against it. He felt so drained, so devoid of life.
And still the tears ran on.
-Rozlyn P.O.V.-
She was empty. There were no bubbles. No clouds. It was just her, and she was alone. All alone and empty. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't see. She was lifeless. A shell, an empty vessel of nothingness.
She stared at the wall. It was just like her.
Blank and staring, it was just like her.
-Remus P.O.V.-
They didn't know what to say to him. Remus understood. If they were in his predicament, he wouldn't know what to say to them, either. A knock sounded at the door, making him jump. After all, he was sitting right in front of it.
He stood up and moved, motioning to James to get the door. Lily was on the other side. James got up and opened the door, sticking only his head out. "Evans. What do you want?"
"I want to see how Remus is doing," she said softly. "Is he okay?"
"What do you think?" James sighed.
"Can I see him?" Lily asked.
James was silent for a moment. "I don't think – "
Lily suddenly pulled open the door, catching James off guard, so that he almost fell over. Then she sidestepped him and ran into Remus's arms. Remus was stunned.
"Go ahead and cry," she whispered, hugging him tightly. "My mother once told me that crying is an emptying of all the pain in a soul. So if you have to cry, then go ahead and cry. It's okay."
James and Sirius looked at each other openmouthed, then stared at Lily, equal amounts of bewilderment on their faces.
Remus took a deep breath. "I-I'm – "
Lily suddenly squeezed him tighter. "And don't tell me you're okay! Because you're not, Remus, you're not!"
"Lil – "
"Shut up, Remus! Just cry already!" Lily practically demanded.
He pulled her away from him and stared. Lily's eyes were red and tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Dammit! Why are you so stupid, Remus!?" she exclaimed. Her face was bright red. "Can't you cry for her!? Can't you even cry for her!? She's gone, you idiot! She's gone and she's not coming back! Why can't you just express your pain!? You stupid idiot! Why can't you express your - !?" She gave way to sobs and collapsed to the floor, her hands over her face. Her shoulders were shaking and she was mumbling. "Soul mates," she was saying. "You guys are soul mates."
Suddenly, James swept across the room and pulled her into a hug. She cried into his chest. Sirius stood around uncomfortably, and Remus just stared.
"You're right," he said softly.
Everyone turned and stared at him. He was standing in the doorway, where Lily had been a few seconds earlier.
"I am an idiot," he whispered. "Because . . . because I love her . . . and I can't – I can't let her go like this."
Without a warning, he darted forward, slid under James's bed, grabbed his friend's broomstick, then dashed out of the room.
"Hey!" James shouted from his spot next to Lily on the floor.
"Moony! Where are you going!?" Sirius said, jumping up and flinging himself into the hallway. "Where are you going!?" he repeated, a note of fear present in his voice.
Remus stopped, one foot on the stairs. He turned back and smiled a very sad looking smile. "Tell Dumbledore . . . if he wants to expel me . . . he'll have to wait until I come back."
"But where are you going!?" Sirius demanded again.
Remus just smiled again. Then he disappeared down the stairs without a second glance.
(A/N: come on. where do you think he's going?)
-Rozlyn P.O.V.-
"Rozlyn, we need to talk to you," her mother said, sitting at the edge of her bed.
"You don't have to say anything. Just listen," her father said. He had one hand behind his back.
Rozlyn stared at him, then at her mother. Her mother gave her a sad smile.
"Honey, we know this has been a most painful ordeal for you," her mother began. "And we know there's nothing we can say that can make it better."
"Your mother and I have been seriously worried about you. You may not think so, but we have, and we'd like to put that behind us. All of it. The worrying, the crying, the tears . . . We'd like to forget it. Forever."
"And we'd like to believe that you wouldn't have any objections to forget about it, either," her mother said, softly. "Wouldn't you like that, honey? You could forget about fifth year, and everything that's happened to you."
"You could forget about that boy," her father said, harshly. "You could forget all this pain . . . everything. Forget about it all. Forever."
Rozlyn stared at them. What were they talking about? How could she forget everything? How could she just - ?
That's when it hit her. Memory Charm. They were going to blast her with a memory charm. She wouldn't remember a thing . . . She wouldn't remember Remus John Lupin . . . or anything.
She wouldn't remember her werewolf.
"NO!" she screamed. "NO!"
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her father motion to her mother. Her mother suddenly grabbed the back of her arms and held them down. She tried to twist away, but her mother was no elderly woman.
"Now, Roland!"
"NO!" Rozlyn screamed. "NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! NO! I WON'T FORGET! I'LL NEVER FORGET! I CAN'T!"
"We're sorry, sweetheart," her father said, sadly. "We tried to make it your choice, but . . ." He shrugged, and raised his wand.
"NO!"
All of a sudden, there was a crash behind them. Rozlyn heard her mother scream. Her arms were released, and her father lowered his wand in shock.
Rozlyn spun around and stared.
Remus was on a broomstick, hovering outside her bedroom window.
"Rozlyn! Come with me!" he cried, holding out a hand. "Come with me!"
She really didn't need to be told twice. Heart hammering, she ran for the window.
"No! Rozlyn, I forbid you to go! I forbid you to go with him!" her mother cried.
Rozlyn hoisted herself out of the window. Remus pulled her onto the broomstick.
"If you go, I disown you!" her father cried. "If you leave with him, you're no longer a Jenkins!"
Rozlyn stared into the window. Her mother was on the ground, holding out a hand to her daughter. "Rozlyn . . . please . . ." she whimpered.
"I'm sorry, Mother . . . Father," Rozlyn whispered. "Goodbye."
She grabbed her werewolf tightly around the waist and tried to drown out the sound of her mother's sobs as they flew away together, into the night.
~Crying is an emptying of all the pain in a soul~
^_~
Oh, come on. Did you really think I'd keep them away from each other? Haha! Hey, I came up with that saying all by myself! I love it. "Crying is an emptying of all the pain in a soul." It's so poetic, and romantic, too, I think. Or maybe I'm just bragging. heehee. Anyways, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! PLEASE, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF THIS!
Ariana S.